A/N: OK so I am so sorry that I have not updated in so long. I won't babble on about it because I already did that in May'. Please read the new chapter of that if you haven't already. A new one should be making it's way here soon. So please, read, review and enjoy this new instalment. Thank you all so much for the reviews so far for both stories. You are all so wonderful. Oh, and credits to Michelle Branch for the lyrics used in this song. I'd rather be in love' from he album The Spirit Room'. ***Laura***

- - -

But without you
I'm alone
And I'd rather be in love with you


She stood there staring into the black vortex around her for what seemed like an eternity. The room spun, her mouth was dry, her eyes wide and staring. Her tongue ran absently over her lips as she took in the situation. She couldn't move. John's body lay there, still, unmoving, and she was paralysed to the spot. Unable to move, unable to help. After many wondering minutes she finally forced her muscles to move, pushing her shivering body into action. An eerie silence fell across the room as she made the few terrible steps towards him. She knelt down to his level, her knees a mere inche away from his torso which faced upwards, his back firmly rooted to the ground. She carefully, almost timidly, placed a quivering hand on his cheek. Her fingertips crazed the rough texture of unshaved skin. She then placed her free hand under his head, cradling it in her hands.

She whispered, her voice cracking somewhat. John, it's Abby. Please, wake up.

His eyelids remained closed, his face a sickly pale colour.

Suddenly a trigger snapped inside of her. This weak quality being displayed by herself dissolved somewhat into thin air. Coherent thoughts resurfaced and panic no longer ruled. The strong professional that she was pushed to the surface and she would not let the man before her suffer anymore due to her frail mind.

Abby jumped up almost immediately and practically ran to Carter's kitchen to retrieve the cordless phone. She glanced back every so often, completely uneasy about leaving Carter lying there, helpless and vulnerable. The sofa blocked the majority of his body but she could see the nauseating view of his two jean-clad legs lying stationary on the carpeted floor. As soon as Abby had picked up the phone she began to dial the three lonesome digits that she always prayed would never have to be dialled once by her finger. Whilst the dial tone rang piercingly in her ear, she made her way back to him and sat on the floor beside his form. Her eyes bulged in pure shock as she picked up his hand. It was not cold, that was a good thing if there ever was to be one in this situation. As soon as she was put through to an operator, she immediately transformed back to in-control Abby.

Uh, yes I need an ambulance please. My boyfriend's collapsed and is unconscious. He's still breathing but his pulse is weak. She swallowed the lump in her throat as the young woman on the other end of the line spoke calmly to her in a subtle attempt to calm her. Although she appeared strong and in control, Abby was screaming on the inside.

Yeah it's 145 Huron Avenue. Just off from the 7/11. Yeah that's it. Ok thank you.

She immediately hung up and disregarded the phone somewhere behind her, not moving from her position beside him. Abby had never seen Carter this helpless since the stabbing. She had known him barely a week then, but still felt a sickening feeling way down in her stomach even then. She had put it down to it being her first week as a med student but now, looking back, she could easily say the feeling ran a lot deeper.

Abby stroked Carter's cheek, trying to imagine what was happening. Why had he suddenly collapsed? The nagging thought in the back of mind was obviously drugs, but she didn't want it to surface. She wouldn't allow herself to think that. However, what other possible explanation could there be? People just didn't randomly collapse, especially healthy young men such as Carter. She winced at the thought. As soon as he was wheeled through the doors of the ER at County, that was what everyone was going to assume. Drugs. Abby internally smacked herself for regarding such issues as important. The most important thing here was Carter. The man she loved was lying in her arms unconscious, but she did not even want to consider such thoughts. He was going to be fine, she could feel it. However, as soon as she looked at his face, his eyelids, his lips, his shallow breaths, tears began to fall down her face. Her lips crumpled and she resorted to burying her face in his neck. His scent still managed to engulf her, and she felt in heaven for a spilt second as her hands ran through the soft texture of his thick hair. She could not bear to lose this man, not after everything they had been through in the past few weeks. Bad luck had a way of hitting them, and it sure as hell was out to play today.

- - -

Ten minutes later, she watched as Rodrigez and a new driver she had not yet met wheeled Carter into the ambulance. She stood a few feet away, arms wrapped around herself due to the bitter coldness of the night. She had yet to change from the pants and light jacket she had worn out that night, but clothes seemed meaningless at a time like this. She had subconsciously observed the small number of people that had gathered around the entrance to the apartment building, observing the small commotion going on outside. However, Abby did not recognise any of them, and still remained to feel alone.

Rodrigez approached her a few seconds later, a mixture of sorrow and confusion etched across his face.

You coming Abby? He asked, placing a hand on her shoulder, partly to grab her attention, partly to console.

Uh, yeah. She replied, still very much dazed. She climbed into the back, taking a hold of Carter's hand again as he was hooked up to a drip. The rest of the journey remained a blur.

- - -

They pulled into County a few minutes later. It was lucky the incident' had occurred at Carter's apartment and that it was so close to County. Abby was not in the mood to be in unfamiliar surroundings right now, she wanted to be amongst friends, amongst her family.

She continued to stare at Carter's pale complexion as the gurney was hurriedly wheeled out of the ambulance and into the ambulance bay where familiar faces greeted her blank stare.

Susan asked with wide worried eyes. Her voice quivered as the words poured out of her lips.

Abby continued to stare into the cold air that now surrounded her. Her eyes were huge, pure shock hitting her like a powerful wave. Luka and Pratt wheeled Carter into the hospital without so much of a word, knowing that what he needed right now medical care. Susan however, stayed behind with Abby who still sat in the ambulance. She offered Susan her hand suddenly, and Susan took it and helped her down onto the concrete beneath. A lump formed in Susan's throat when she felt the cold stone flesh of Abby's hand. Without a word, she held her friend's hand close to her and led her inside. Carter was in safe hands, and right now Abby was the one who needed her.

- - -

A moment later, the two women were sat together in the lounge. Abby had not yet uttered a word since the ambulance had pulled up. Susan did not push her, and instead continued to hold her hand waiting for her to open up when she was ready.

It's not drugs you know. I know it's not and I would know Susan.

Susan sighed as she sucked her lips in, biting down on them, her eyes closing momentarily. Abby, we would never think that.

But you do, that's the thing. It even crossed my mind and so I know it must have crossed everyone's mind here. She sat back on the sofa now, pulling her hand free from Susan's and letting the exhaustion take over her as she sunk into the cushions and closed her eyes as her head hit the back of the sofa.

Abby, listen to me, we don't know anything until Luka comes out and tells us the whole situation, so we won't say anything until then but listen to me ok? Carter will be ok, he's strong, you're both so strong and I know he wouldn't leave you. He wouldn't leave you alone.

Abby's eyes remained close as her head rested back, but a single tear rolled down her cheek. She grabbed hold of Susan's hand blindly and gripped it tightly as she opened her soul, the tears flooded and her world caved in around her.

- - -

How could two people have so much bad luck. Haleh offered as she sat at the nurses station, biting her nails as yet another of her colleagues was being treated in the very emergency room they slaved away in day after day.

It seems like someone is dealing a little too much bad luck in that direction if you ask me. Connie offered. Two people, so perfect for one another, but are kept apart tragically by awful events.

Well if you ask me, it's karma. One of them obviously did something the fates didn't agree with and it has come back to bite them in the a...

Who needs your opinion Frank? Haleh shouted at the nosey receptionist as he hobbled by.

It can go and bite you in the ass too then. He retorted before disappearing almost too hastily at the site of Haleh's menacing stance as she appeared in the hallway.

- - -

After what had seemed like hours, Luka entered the lounge with Pratt in tow. Pratt held back holding Carter's chart as Luka offered a tight smile to Abby as he sat down next to her. He looked directly into her red rimmed eyes, and placed a gentle calming hand on her shoulder.

Abby looked up at his with the most vulnerable stare she had ever offered anyone. Please don't end my world Luka.

The words seemed to move everyone in the room at that moment. Susan winced whilst looking away as if the words were the worst her ears could have heard at that moment in time. Pratt even seemed to take in a huge sigh at the raw emotion felt in that room.

Luka smiled softly at the woman who was so dependant on the next few words that came out of this mouth. I'm not going to Abby. Carter is fine, well, as fine as he could be at a time like this.

Everyone seemed to breathe a huge sigh of relief. Abby let out a small moan as if the world had been lifted from her shoulders. Her whole expression seemed to change to one of utter relief. She reached across and hugged Luka to her briefly, then whispering a very weak thank you.

Susan was the first to ask the required information. What caused his collapse?

Abby's relief was taken away for that split second, praying that her world would not come crashing down around her for a second time that day.

Well, this isn't the best news I am afraid. Carter has suffered from extreme exhaustion. From the looks fo things, he hasn't eaten in days, and it's been weeks, maybe, since he had a proper meal. He has lost a lot of weight and is very weak at this moment. It also looks like he hasn't been sleeping properly. The stress obviously got to him and his body found it hard to cope. We lost a pulse but he received the necessary treatment. Luka turned his full attention to Abby once again. He's a fighter Abby.

Abby placed her head in hands as if at a loose end. I don't understand. I didn't notice it, I mean I did but I didn't know it was this out of control! Susan returned to her side as she observed her friend becoming rather frantic.

Shhh, don't blame yourself Abby.

He showed no signs Susan! He was so happy, he seemed so carefree. All this time...he was in turmoil. What could have possibly driven him to this state?

Look, go in and see him Abby. He was asking for you. He needs you right now. Luka patted her knee before she stood and headed for the door.

Abby turned around as she reached for the handle. Thank you. Susan, Luka. I...just thank you.

Both offered warm genuine smiles for the woman standing before them. No words were needed now, they both knew where Abby wanted and needed to be, and it wasn't in the lounge.

- - -

She stood outside the trauma room for an eternity, simply observing. He looked so pale, so pale. What shocked Abby the most though was how much damage Carter's shirt had hiden. As he lay topless, his ribs were clearly visible. It made her feel sick to the stomach knowing that he had suffered this much before her very eyes and she had not even noticed the true extent of the damage. Suddenly, her need to be with him was greater than her need to hide. She took fairy steps into the eerie room. It was somehow alien to her when it was her own loved one lying there helpless.

Hey there beautiful. A croaky voice offered, milliseconds before Abby came into his view.

She offered a small chuckle. How did you...

My heart has learnt to detect when you're within ten feet of me. It's a neat trick. I'm beginning to dig it ya know.

She tilted her head and smiled. Her love for this man was greater than any emotion she had ever felt. You scared me you know.

Carter extended his hand to her and when their fingers entwined, he pulled her to his side. She perched on the end of his bed, pulling their hands to her mouth and kissed his fingers lightly.

I'm sorry Abby.

Her voice cracked as she began to sob. She laughed slightly as she sniffed. Don't be.

Hey now. He reached up with his free hand to wipe her loan tears. None of that.

She laughed again as she sniffed. Suddenly her expression turned serious. Why Carter?

The open ended question made complete sense to him. I was so incredibly worried about you. I thought that I had lost you that day, I had this dream and...anyway none of that matters now. I just worked myself into this depressive state because I was trying so hard to protect you and it wasn't working.

Abby sighed. John I don't need...

Protecting, I know. I know that now Abby. Now I'm the one that needs you. His voice cracked at the end. His vulnerability was screaming out to Abby.

Her eyes began to moisten once more. She took a hold of his face in both of her hands and looked directly into his orbs. They connected immediately and each knew exactly what the other was feeling deep inside the soul. She pressed her lips to his forehead before whispering softly in his ear.

I'm here.

- - -

Cause when there's you
I feel whole
And there's no better feeling in the world

- - -