HI!HI!HI! Deck the halls with humungous oliphaunts fa la la la la la la la la! Sorry! So much into the joy of Christmas…and LOTR! This one is very special- preciousssss… hum? Gollum is lurking nearby…So please enjoy this…
Disclaimer: If I did own LOTR…I would be freakin' rich…and freaking out!
Just-very-secretive book of Aragorn, son of Arathorn(yes! It's short!)
Day 5
We have given up hope on Merry and Pippin…wait! I didn't mean that!!!!! I meant that yes we found an elven brooch…but we don't know if the "little ones" as Boromir quotes(rolls eyes then sighs) are still alive. But I do believe that they are alive! HS! I don't want to get blamed for their deaths too! Athelas! My new swear word…Arwen appreciates me the way I am, but she just can't stand me swearing! "Aragorn…I love you because you don't pollute the environment…and because you don't waste water since you take a shower only twice a month. I value you for your ruggedness and for your unique care…but I am deeply disturbed when you curse!" (sigh) I detest when she verbalizes like her father…gratefully I don't converse like Arwen…uh oh! I told Legolas and Gimli that I found something interesting…no not a cave!(Gimli)…no not a blow-drier!(Legolas)…no not a cave!(Gimli)…no not shampoo!(Legolas)…no not a she-dwarf! YUCK!(Gimli)…no not conditioner!(Legolas)…no not a cave!(Gimli)…no not Arwen(Legolas)…Hey!!!! IT'S AN ELVEN BROOCH FROM LOTHLORIEN!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN'T YOU NOT THINK OF YOURSELVES!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
The very-long-ago-and-somehow-there-are-many-pages-left diary of Elrond, father of Arwen
Day 5
(Scowls) Arwen has escaped the guards somehow…note to self: never hire elves or men to guard Arwen's chamber or the hallways…their hearts appear easily corrupted hump! Not surprised about the men though! Arwen left a note:
Dearest Tinuviel,
Long have I searched for Merry and Pippin with Gimli and Legolas and I think of you. Please do not come and search for me, for it is far too risky since Gimli and Legolas are starting to communicate since the Council was held. Something might start with those two and it will infect my eyes for sure. Please don't come and ruin yours! AAAGH! They're holding…HANDS!!! I shan't tolerate this anymore! Just hurry and come and be careful! Before I catch this monstrosity!!
Love,
Estel xoxo (don't know why…just wanted to!)
(crumbles paper and smoke comes out of his ears) GRR…how dare he write such a thing to my daughter…I am outraged! I have clearly raised him like Elladan and Elrohir and none of them have this behavior! Humph! Besides that! He clearly wrote with his left…he always does that to irritate me! When he writes left, he writes small! I can't tolerate small hand-writing! I am going to Rohan and ground Arwen and drag Aragorn by the ear…(sigh) I have to talk to him again about the size of Aragorn's brain…it's far too small to content my daughter! Guards!!!! (drops book on the floor and scowls in Elvish and carries it with him).
The diary that-is-odd of Pippin
Day 5
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!! I want Strider to save me! AND Merry! The Uruk-Hai's are mean and nasty! Aye! I wish that I were back in the Shire flirting with Rosie…Sam still doesn't know! Sssssh! Can't smoke any weed…figures! Aye! Barely any weed left around here! I wonder if Strider has any? Whoooooo! Getting suffocated by Merry! Aye! Since we've been captured, Merry has been gassy! Passing out now…zzzzzzzz
The foul-smelling diary of Merry
Day 5
Pippin passed out…damn! It's been the fourth time he's been doing that! I hope that it's not because of my smell lately…beats Strider's greasy hair and Gimli's disturbing perspiration! I want to go back in the Shire and flirt with Rosie…Sam doesn't know! Sssssh! Oh no! Not another…blah!!!!!! I hate these drinks! This is not ale!!!! This is…(rolls eyes then passes out)…
One more day until freedom! Then I could type all these stories up!!!!! Hmmmm…must study again! Ciao!
Tarabrethil ¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤