*Sniff!* sniff* This is my almost last chapter…hmm…*flips through calendar* The Return of the King is on December 17th…hm…thinking of doing a humor on the last movie I'll have to wait a while. *Sighs* (Shakes head and then rolls eyes) I despise waiting!!!!! I shan't tolerate this!
Disclaimer: Okay! You should get this tattooed to your foreheads! "I, Tárabrethil somehow a Gondorian and Elven do not own the trilogy of Lord of the Rings!" P.S. If you have enough space, add the star of Elendil too!
DAY 11
The oh-crap-its-no-longer-the-la-di-da-fancy-smancy-book of Frodo, son of Droco…or was it Draco?
Sam getting all high on cotton candy don't know how the hell he did it! *Sips tea* He's now running around and hitting himself with his "prized" pans. (Sighs) *sips tea* Getting addicted to this herbal tea that I found in my bag…I think Aragorn put it in my pouch. Sam doesn't know that I have this tea. SHIT! He's back to normal…NO! MINE! MY HERBAL TEA! (whacks Sam on the head with a pan) *sips tea* Stupid Sam! Is he insane?! Wants us to be discovered! *sips tea*
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The cook book of Samwise, son of Pigfast…or was it Hamfast? Hamfoot?
I see stars…made out of cotton candy! *hits himself with pan* Wheeeeeee! This is fun! Twinkle Twinkle little cotton candy star! How I wonder what you taste like! High above the sky! Twinkle *shakes head* Frodo has tea!? Frodo! *gets hit by a pan* Twinkle, twinkle little cotton candy star! How I wonder…
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The really-obvious-no-duh-Gondorian-leather-book-and-yet-Faramir-uses-it-as-a-diary of Captain Faramir
(Sigh) I...CAN'T...SIT!!! My @$$ hurts!! Mommy!! Owie! *sucks thumb* Good thing Boromir isn't here to see me like this! I CAN'T EVEN WALK PROPERLY!! BLOODY HELL!! (Sighs) *sips herbal tea* I kind of stole some tea from Frodo…I don't even think that he knew that he had some tea bags! *Sips herbal tea* I never knew that Tetley's tea taste so good! *Sips herbal tea* Too bad that I left some…it's such a waste of tea bags…I'll wrie to Daddy dearest again…hmm…
Dear Father (DADDY!)
Um…please send us some Tetley tea bags!
Love,
Faramir
P.S. Did you find the Horn of Gondor yet?
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The yikes-my-eyes-are-blinded-by-the0light-from-the-super-duper-extremely-and-yet-shiny binder of Gandalf (The White!!!!!!!)
*Light come out of binder* Smoked weed that Aragorn provided for me! YAYYYYY! It's good to be alive! In Moria, I thought that I'd have to kiss my Istari @$$ goodbye!!! Oops!! Blinded Aragorn with my white binder! Sorry! Oops! Got to go and clean my teeth with Colgate complete! *Light goes out as the binder is closing*
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The Orc-blood-stained-since-Helm's-Deep-battle-with-Lothlórien-green-background diary of Legolas, son of Thranduil or was it Thorongil…Thonguil?!?!?
*Sniff!* *sniff* My beautiful green Lothlórien diary is ruined!! Wait...why am I still writing in it?! Aragorn said that he'll buy me one as soon as he finds a Rohan gift shop...didn't know that those exist!! I hope that he gets one with a horsie on it! Wait! Did I say horsie?!?!?!? Why is Aragorn complaining about his eyes?!
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The dwarven-and-I-think-you-know-whose-this-one-is scrapbook of Gimli, son of Gloin…or was it Bloin?! Cloin?!
Just heard Aragorn screaming...something about his eyes...beats me! Anyways...I'm so grumpy! My axe chipped near the edge…I mean, yeah it's small, but when you're a small dwarf, forget it! It's too long to explain the importance of an axe to a helpless dwarf. DID I SAY HELPLESS DWARF?! I must be out of my head! I'll go see some caves…if I can find any! Legolas promised me that he'd come with me. Where did that stupid pin-head Elf wander to?
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The Took-Brandybuck-combined diary of the cousins Merry+Pippin
Drank Entjuice…DAMN! Merry and I grew five inches! Hm…decided that we'd have afternoon tea…then dinner AND supper! Why do you always think of food? Shut up Merry! Doesn't Merry know that I'm a hobbit!? Hobbits clearly eat a minimum of seven meals a day! Hm…thinking of cooking mushrooms now. *searches through pack* Oops! I kind of ate the last one! HE! HE! Grr…Merry ate the last one! You #@$%@*&!
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This is the BEFORE last chapter…don't worry…I'm almost done with the last one! Continue reviewing!