Disclaimer: I uploaded a chapter from HP, and I checked out my reviews from my 1st LOTR, and I want to thank all of you for Reviewing! You are all great, and I promise to do something for the last one...*sniffles*
So...here's a last...oh my valar...last chapter for all those who reviewed...I'll do my best...this one is of all the characters.
~ ~ ~
An-atrocious-now-orc-behind-smelling-diary-of-Aragorn-Estel-Strider-Elfstone-Dunedan-son-of-Arathorn
After The Battle Of Helm's Deep...resting against a rock near the fallen enemies...
Haldir died...*falls on knees* STELLA!!! *sniffles* He wasn't supposed to die...oh well...I'll just need to find another chubby elf as a friend. Can't be that hard to find one, right? RIGHT?!? Anyways...since I survived Helm's Deep, and got a t-shirt...*shows "I Survived Helm's Deep" t-shirt*, I am trying to find a name for me when I am going to be King. I know that I'm a bit advanced, but I can't think in the dark when I'll be going through the Paths Of The Dead. What kind of a King would I be to think at the last minute for a name?! Honestly! Grr...my toe is in bad shape after the battle, oh my valar! I shouldn't have kicked that orc helmet near Fangorn Forest, what a great example I am to be a future King?! Broke my toe...*sniff*. Maybe Eowyn could tend it for me...diary smells like the behind of an orc...I better get another one soon, since the smell of it is making me sick.Hmm...a name like Elendil...hmm...as you most probably know, my idol is Elendil. Elendil forever!
Elessar? King Elessar!? Eowyn! You're a genius!!!!
~ ~ ~
The-diary-of-Legolas-son-Of-Thranduil-with-a-picture-of-himself
After The Battle Of Helm's Deep...looking for contacts...
Me like myself...me,me,me...after performing 10,735 daredevil stunts during the battle, and getting a t-shirt...*flashes "I Survived Helm's Deep" t-shirt*, no one will ever forget my beautiful face. Who in Middle-Earth could beat an ungodly-handsome elf like me?? That's no one...not even that stupid dwarf who smells the armpits of Uruk-Hais, named Gimli, who, since the beginning of the journey, that I had the desire to drop kick him. *sigh* If only I could do that now...but he's nowhere in sight...damn him! I could do it on a small child from Rohan, but it won't be the same. And besides, we elves are not cruel...well, okay, but just on ugly and smelly Uruk-Hais, goblins and other minions of Sauron. Has anyone seen one of my contacts?...oh dear, if anyone discovers that I actually don't have blue eyes, I might be banished...everyone here has blue or green eyes. Curses!!! Feeling a pout coming now...maybe I should collect my arrows from my fallen foes, but why do that? When I could make other ones! Oh! Very clever of you, Legolas! Yay for me!!!LEGOLAS FOREVER!!! *hugs self*
~ ~ ~
The-bring-your-pretty-face-near-my-axe-diary-of-Gimli-son-of-Gloin
After The Battle Of Helm's Deep...stroking axe...
Clean, wipe, sharpen and stroke...my after battle ritual! Keeping away from elf...by looking at him since the journey began, I sensed a desire from him of drop kicking me...*shudders* we dwarves may be short, but never...NEVER DROP KICK A DWARF!!! It is an omen of ours...and Aragorn broke one...to NEVER toss a dwarf!!! But drop kicking comes after tossing, so, I'm not in deep Uruk crap...after the battle, I was so overwhelmed, that I forgot the number of Uruk-Hais I killed...*sniff* and I counted! I have the memory of the...er...I forgot about that too! But...I...er...have the eyes of a wolf...or was it a fox...or was that for the ears?? Hm...oh no!! I am forgetting things!!! NO!! How could...but...what? who? where? when? how? I give up...*sniffles* How come everyone got a "I survived Helm's Deep" t-shirt and not me? Don't these people have dwarf sized t-shirts anymore!? Balin Forever...
~ ~ ~
The-diary-of-the-no-longer-banished-Eomer-son-of-Eomund
After The Battle Of Helm's Deep...on horse and trying to look godly...
Killed that one...and that one...and that one, and I think that I killed that one...I'll still count it! Hm...after getting my t-shirt *shows the "I survived Helm's Deep" t-shirt*, I am going to count more dead nasty Uruk-Hais, stand around on my big horse and look godly. And I better find my sister...*sigh* Eowyn, Eowyn, Eowyn...she must be furious that she didn't get to fight. Well, she could look on the bright side...she's going to get an "I Survived Helm's Deep" t-shirt. Okay...one...two...three...hmm. I'll just say that I killed about...*counts on fingers numerous times* 12,498 Uruk-hais...despite the fact that there were 10,000 strong, according to Aragorn...oh well...I could say that he doesn't know how to count...Helm's Deep is a mess, never really liked it...so dusty...so much for swiffering the place...one chore less to do. Hurrah!!!! Eorlingas Forever!!!!
~ ~ ~
The-diary-of-Eowyn-daughter-of-Eomund-and-niece-to-King-Théoden-who-is-the-father-to-
her-dead-cousin-Théodred-but-who-cares-about-that-anyways-?-!-?
After The Battle Of Helm's Deep...resting on a rock next to Aragorn, and gazing at him admiringly near the fallen enemies...
*sigh* Aragorn...Aragorn...*sigh*...I got my t-shirt of "I Survive Helm's Deep", but still upset that I didn't get to kick any Uruk butt. Hm...glad to see that Lord Aragorn's alive...I never realized how damn sexy he looks when he's wet, bloodied, sweaty, rugged, and did I forget to mention wet and rugged?? *sighs* Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and Ele-- SSSSAAAAAAARRRRR!!!!!! *Uruk-hai gets up and menacingly limps towards Eowyn, who picks up a sword and hacks at the Uruk-Hai* *Ahem* Well, at least I killed one...why is Aragorn smiling now? What did I do??? ARAGORN FOREVER...*eyes shaped into pink hearts*
~ ~ ~
The-newly-updated-and-no-longer-grey-diary-of-Gandalf-the Grey-um-I-mean-White-!-!-!
After the Battle Of Helm's Deep...polishing staff...
Ahh...nothing can start a morning better than killing at least an enormous army of growling Uruk-Hais!I was given a t-shirt of "I Survived Helm's Deep", but I refused it, because it was grey. GREY!!! I was so insulted, that I ordered one that suited my color...white. So angry right now, my beloved staff is dirtied by mud and Uruk blood . Do you know how hard it is to clean something that is white!?!? DO YOU!?! *sighs* Well, at least Aragorn isn't dead...I mean, if he died, then I am screwed, okay, okay, as well as Middle-Earth...GANDALF THE WHITE FOREVER!!!
~ ~ ~
The-where-is-the-horse-?-where-is-the-rider-?-diary-of-King-Théoden-son-of-Thengel
After The Battle Of Helm's Deep...looking at the damage that the explosives did...
I knew that we were going to last the night...seriously I did! *crosses fingers behind back* hehehehe...well, okay, maybe I had a "little" bit of a doubt. At least I fought...*nods head* that's right...*sighs* My fathers are going to KILL me for ruining the refuge...but I didn't bring the explosives...no...so I won't be in deep trouble...this means one more task to do...rebuild the freakin' wall...but, WE HAVE A WAR TO FIGHT...screw this!!! But, it does need to be fixed...but...nah...why do that when we could just leave this refuge...yes...that does seem to be an excellent plan...very cunning of you, Théoden...yes...very...GO ME!! I mean...KING THéODEN FOREVER!!!
~ ~ ~
The-gnawed-diary-of-Frodo-Baggins-son-of-Drogo-and-was-removed-twice-from-Pippin's-mother-side-and-was-then-adopted-by-his-second-cousin-Bilbo-Baggins
After walking and climbing around in circles...writing in diary...DUH!
Precious...precious...precious...*strokes ring* hehehehehe...you see the ring before you die...I've seen the ring tons of times...and I'm still alive...I must be special...yes...oh precious!!! What's that? Yessssss...I love you too.*Ahem* Don't want to turn into Gollum, he has a swearing problem...*shudders* and besides...don't want to end up bald...no, no, no, no, no, no...and anyways...he DESPERATELY need a new wardrobe...I mean, hello-o-o? Wearing that rag around...I mean but on some clothes for the Valars' SAKE!!! I wish that I was back home...but nooooo...ignorant I was to say "What must I do." and "I will take it!" Grr...teed-off right now...go to go...Gollum talking gibberish again...and to himself!! What a loner...BTW...I'm not going to "hurrah" anyone...because its THEIR fault that I'm dragged into this mess! *glares at PJ and crew*
~ ~ ~
The-as-well-gnawed-diary-of-Samwise-Gamgee-son-of-Hamfast-Gamgee-who-lives-at-number-three-Bagshot-Row
After walking and climbing around in circles...spying on Frodo...
Frodo has gone obsessed with that ring...can't blame him...I am myself addicted...to Starbucks coffee...*drink Starbucks frappucino coffee* just can't get enough of it! *takes another sip* I just can't put it down now...and NO! I will never give it...NEVER!!!! Muahahahahahahahahahaha!! *takes another sip* *Ahem!* But...what Frodo's doing is not alright...well...okay...maybe being a coffee addict isn't good...but at least it won't make me go all into the darkness and all. *Sips frappucino* I don't trust that Gollum...he creeps me out...I mean, the critter has a lot of nerves to be wandering about with almost nothing on. I'd never do that...unless if you tempt me with a frappucino...that is...*sips coffee* STARBUCKS FOREVER!!!!
~ ~ ~
The-ripped-and-yellowed-notebook-of-Gollum-and-Sméagol
hehehehehe...oh preciousssss! What are we going to do!? How in Middle-Earth are we going to getsss the preciousssss back?
We'll...didn't I tell you already!?
Yesssss...but...
But WHAT!?!?!?!
Oh nevermind!! I'd rather have those nassssty chipsss that that sssstupid fat hobbit wassss talking about than talk to you...
WHAT!?!?!
You heard me!
Don't you know, that if it weren't for me, then we--
Doessss this rag make me look a little too bony and wretched???
No...it makessss you fat! You could be that fat hobbit'ssss wife!!!!
TAKE THAT BACKSSSS!!!
No!!!
Go awaysss!
Not thissss again!!!
Go awayssss!
You do realizessss that you ARE going to needssss me after...
Go away! You meaniesssss! You bulliessss!!!! *cries*
~ ~ ~
The-WE-ARE-HOBBITS-!-!-!-CHILDFOLK-!-!-!-diary-of-Meriadoc-Brandybuck-son-of-erm...
Clinging onto Treebeard, in order not to be blown away by the waters...
WOW! What a beautiful view...well, alright, it's not THAT pretty to see something falling into ruin, but, atleast I'm not being attacked by raging Ents!*water splashes on Merry* Mmm...water...I was getting dehydrated there for a moment! OUCH! Painful splinters...curse these splinters! OUCH! *removes a splinter* Pip and I told PJ that we were clearly capable of running or jogging, in order to catch up with Treebeard...but nooooooooo! We had to be sitting and holding onto Treebeard for almost three ENTIRE hours!!!! *glares at PJ* OUCH! OUCH! *removes two other splinters* curses...DAMN SPLINTERS...OUCH!
~ ~ ~
The-what-about-second-breakfast-?-and-i-know-that's-old-but-i-couldn't-think-of-anything-!-!-diary-of-Peregrin-Took-son-of-ermII...
Clinging onto Treebeard, in order not to be blown away from rushing waters...
AAAAGH!! I'M GETTING WET!!! Alright...now I've learned two important lessons...1) first state that you are NOT an orc if ever meeting an Ent...and 2) never, NEVER get an Ent on its bad side! I feel like as if I'm soaked right now...got many splinters, since holding onto a tree for three hours straight...oh...wait! Not a tree...an Ent...so yeah...OUCH! *removes a splinter* This is going to take a while...OUCH!! SHIRE FOREVER!!!
~ ~ ~
YAY! Ok...I want to thank all those who wasted/took their time to review, even though that this was completely stupid!!!! So yeah...and I WILL be planning to do another one for Return of the King!
*Remaining fellowship and characters look at each other*
CAST: *gulp*
Tarabrethil: O___O
Special Thank You To:
Indigo Star ((especially to you!!!))
Addicted
Kat
FrodoFan
Effie
PinkMartini
paris
Belothien
carrott
gide
I Love Beans
wOLF8
Eomer
SangritaLolita
Madeleine541
Paris(Eomer)
I want to thank all of you for encouraging me! Thanks a bunch!
So...here's a last...oh my valar...last chapter for all those who reviewed...I'll do my best...this one is of all the characters.
~ ~ ~
An-atrocious-now-orc-behind-smelling-diary-of-Aragorn-Estel-Strider-Elfstone-Dunedan-son-of-Arathorn
After The Battle Of Helm's Deep...resting against a rock near the fallen enemies...
Haldir died...*falls on knees* STELLA!!! *sniffles* He wasn't supposed to die...oh well...I'll just need to find another chubby elf as a friend. Can't be that hard to find one, right? RIGHT?!? Anyways...since I survived Helm's Deep, and got a t-shirt...*shows "I Survived Helm's Deep" t-shirt*, I am trying to find a name for me when I am going to be King. I know that I'm a bit advanced, but I can't think in the dark when I'll be going through the Paths Of The Dead. What kind of a King would I be to think at the last minute for a name?! Honestly! Grr...my toe is in bad shape after the battle, oh my valar! I shouldn't have kicked that orc helmet near Fangorn Forest, what a great example I am to be a future King?! Broke my toe...*sniff*. Maybe Eowyn could tend it for me...diary smells like the behind of an orc...I better get another one soon, since the smell of it is making me sick.Hmm...a name like Elendil...hmm...as you most probably know, my idol is Elendil. Elendil forever!
Elessar? King Elessar!? Eowyn! You're a genius!!!!
~ ~ ~
The-diary-of-Legolas-son-Of-Thranduil-with-a-picture-of-himself
After The Battle Of Helm's Deep...looking for contacts...
Me like myself...me,me,me...after performing 10,735 daredevil stunts during the battle, and getting a t-shirt...*flashes "I Survived Helm's Deep" t-shirt*, no one will ever forget my beautiful face. Who in Middle-Earth could beat an ungodly-handsome elf like me?? That's no one...not even that stupid dwarf who smells the armpits of Uruk-Hais, named Gimli, who, since the beginning of the journey, that I had the desire to drop kick him. *sigh* If only I could do that now...but he's nowhere in sight...damn him! I could do it on a small child from Rohan, but it won't be the same. And besides, we elves are not cruel...well, okay, but just on ugly and smelly Uruk-Hais, goblins and other minions of Sauron. Has anyone seen one of my contacts?...oh dear, if anyone discovers that I actually don't have blue eyes, I might be banished...everyone here has blue or green eyes. Curses!!! Feeling a pout coming now...maybe I should collect my arrows from my fallen foes, but why do that? When I could make other ones! Oh! Very clever of you, Legolas! Yay for me!!!LEGOLAS FOREVER!!! *hugs self*
~ ~ ~
The-bring-your-pretty-face-near-my-axe-diary-of-Gimli-son-of-Gloin
After The Battle Of Helm's Deep...stroking axe...
Clean, wipe, sharpen and stroke...my after battle ritual! Keeping away from elf...by looking at him since the journey began, I sensed a desire from him of drop kicking me...*shudders* we dwarves may be short, but never...NEVER DROP KICK A DWARF!!! It is an omen of ours...and Aragorn broke one...to NEVER toss a dwarf!!! But drop kicking comes after tossing, so, I'm not in deep Uruk crap...after the battle, I was so overwhelmed, that I forgot the number of Uruk-Hais I killed...*sniff* and I counted! I have the memory of the...er...I forgot about that too! But...I...er...have the eyes of a wolf...or was it a fox...or was that for the ears?? Hm...oh no!! I am forgetting things!!! NO!! How could...but...what? who? where? when? how? I give up...*sniffles* How come everyone got a "I survived Helm's Deep" t-shirt and not me? Don't these people have dwarf sized t-shirts anymore!? Balin Forever...
~ ~ ~
The-diary-of-the-no-longer-banished-Eomer-son-of-Eomund
After The Battle Of Helm's Deep...on horse and trying to look godly...
Killed that one...and that one...and that one, and I think that I killed that one...I'll still count it! Hm...after getting my t-shirt *shows the "I survived Helm's Deep" t-shirt*, I am going to count more dead nasty Uruk-Hais, stand around on my big horse and look godly. And I better find my sister...*sigh* Eowyn, Eowyn, Eowyn...she must be furious that she didn't get to fight. Well, she could look on the bright side...she's going to get an "I Survived Helm's Deep" t-shirt. Okay...one...two...three...hmm. I'll just say that I killed about...*counts on fingers numerous times* 12,498 Uruk-hais...despite the fact that there were 10,000 strong, according to Aragorn...oh well...I could say that he doesn't know how to count...Helm's Deep is a mess, never really liked it...so dusty...so much for swiffering the place...one chore less to do. Hurrah!!!! Eorlingas Forever!!!!
~ ~ ~
The-diary-of-Eowyn-daughter-of-Eomund-and-niece-to-King-Théoden-who-is-the-father-to-
her-dead-cousin-Théodred-but-who-cares-about-that-anyways-?-!-?
After The Battle Of Helm's Deep...resting on a rock next to Aragorn, and gazing at him admiringly near the fallen enemies...
*sigh* Aragorn...Aragorn...*sigh*...I got my t-shirt of "I Survive Helm's Deep", but still upset that I didn't get to kick any Uruk butt. Hm...glad to see that Lord Aragorn's alive...I never realized how damn sexy he looks when he's wet, bloodied, sweaty, rugged, and did I forget to mention wet and rugged?? *sighs* Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and Ele-- SSSSAAAAAAARRRRR!!!!!! *Uruk-hai gets up and menacingly limps towards Eowyn, who picks up a sword and hacks at the Uruk-Hai* *Ahem* Well, at least I killed one...why is Aragorn smiling now? What did I do??? ARAGORN FOREVER...*eyes shaped into pink hearts*
~ ~ ~
The-newly-updated-and-no-longer-grey-diary-of-Gandalf-the Grey-um-I-mean-White-!-!-!
After the Battle Of Helm's Deep...polishing staff...
Ahh...nothing can start a morning better than killing at least an enormous army of growling Uruk-Hais!I was given a t-shirt of "I Survived Helm's Deep", but I refused it, because it was grey. GREY!!! I was so insulted, that I ordered one that suited my color...white. So angry right now, my beloved staff is dirtied by mud and Uruk blood . Do you know how hard it is to clean something that is white!?!? DO YOU!?! *sighs* Well, at least Aragorn isn't dead...I mean, if he died, then I am screwed, okay, okay, as well as Middle-Earth...GANDALF THE WHITE FOREVER!!!
~ ~ ~
The-where-is-the-horse-?-where-is-the-rider-?-diary-of-King-Théoden-son-of-Thengel
After The Battle Of Helm's Deep...looking at the damage that the explosives did...
I knew that we were going to last the night...seriously I did! *crosses fingers behind back* hehehehe...well, okay, maybe I had a "little" bit of a doubt. At least I fought...*nods head* that's right...*sighs* My fathers are going to KILL me for ruining the refuge...but I didn't bring the explosives...no...so I won't be in deep trouble...this means one more task to do...rebuild the freakin' wall...but, WE HAVE A WAR TO FIGHT...screw this!!! But, it does need to be fixed...but...nah...why do that when we could just leave this refuge...yes...that does seem to be an excellent plan...very cunning of you, Théoden...yes...very...GO ME!! I mean...KING THéODEN FOREVER!!!
~ ~ ~
The-gnawed-diary-of-Frodo-Baggins-son-of-Drogo-and-was-removed-twice-from-Pippin's-mother-side-and-was-then-adopted-by-his-second-cousin-Bilbo-Baggins
After walking and climbing around in circles...writing in diary...DUH!
Precious...precious...precious...*strokes ring* hehehehehe...you see the ring before you die...I've seen the ring tons of times...and I'm still alive...I must be special...yes...oh precious!!! What's that? Yessssss...I love you too.*Ahem* Don't want to turn into Gollum, he has a swearing problem...*shudders* and besides...don't want to end up bald...no, no, no, no, no, no...and anyways...he DESPERATELY need a new wardrobe...I mean, hello-o-o? Wearing that rag around...I mean but on some clothes for the Valars' SAKE!!! I wish that I was back home...but nooooo...ignorant I was to say "What must I do." and "I will take it!" Grr...teed-off right now...go to go...Gollum talking gibberish again...and to himself!! What a loner...BTW...I'm not going to "hurrah" anyone...because its THEIR fault that I'm dragged into this mess! *glares at PJ and crew*
~ ~ ~
The-as-well-gnawed-diary-of-Samwise-Gamgee-son-of-Hamfast-Gamgee-who-lives-at-number-three-Bagshot-Row
After walking and climbing around in circles...spying on Frodo...
Frodo has gone obsessed with that ring...can't blame him...I am myself addicted...to Starbucks coffee...*drink Starbucks frappucino coffee* just can't get enough of it! *takes another sip* I just can't put it down now...and NO! I will never give it...NEVER!!!! Muahahahahahahahahahaha!! *takes another sip* *Ahem!* But...what Frodo's doing is not alright...well...okay...maybe being a coffee addict isn't good...but at least it won't make me go all into the darkness and all. *Sips frappucino* I don't trust that Gollum...he creeps me out...I mean, the critter has a lot of nerves to be wandering about with almost nothing on. I'd never do that...unless if you tempt me with a frappucino...that is...*sips coffee* STARBUCKS FOREVER!!!!
~ ~ ~
The-ripped-and-yellowed-notebook-of-Gollum-and-Sméagol
hehehehehe...oh preciousssss! What are we going to do!? How in Middle-Earth are we going to getsss the preciousssss back?
We'll...didn't I tell you already!?
Yesssss...but...
But WHAT!?!?!?!
Oh nevermind!! I'd rather have those nassssty chipsss that that sssstupid fat hobbit wassss talking about than talk to you...
WHAT!?!?!
You heard me!
Don't you know, that if it weren't for me, then we--
Doessss this rag make me look a little too bony and wretched???
No...it makessss you fat! You could be that fat hobbit'ssss wife!!!!
TAKE THAT BACKSSSS!!!
No!!!
Go awaysss!
Not thissss again!!!
Go awayssss!
You do realizessss that you ARE going to needssss me after...
Go away! You meaniesssss! You bulliessss!!!! *cries*
~ ~ ~
The-WE-ARE-HOBBITS-!-!-!-CHILDFOLK-!-!-!-diary-of-Meriadoc-Brandybuck-son-of-erm...
Clinging onto Treebeard, in order not to be blown away by the waters...
WOW! What a beautiful view...well, alright, it's not THAT pretty to see something falling into ruin, but, atleast I'm not being attacked by raging Ents!*water splashes on Merry* Mmm...water...I was getting dehydrated there for a moment! OUCH! Painful splinters...curse these splinters! OUCH! *removes a splinter* Pip and I told PJ that we were clearly capable of running or jogging, in order to catch up with Treebeard...but nooooooooo! We had to be sitting and holding onto Treebeard for almost three ENTIRE hours!!!! *glares at PJ* OUCH! OUCH! *removes two other splinters* curses...DAMN SPLINTERS...OUCH!
~ ~ ~
The-what-about-second-breakfast-?-and-i-know-that's-old-but-i-couldn't-think-of-anything-!-!-diary-of-Peregrin-Took-son-of-ermII...
Clinging onto Treebeard, in order not to be blown away from rushing waters...
AAAAGH!! I'M GETTING WET!!! Alright...now I've learned two important lessons...1) first state that you are NOT an orc if ever meeting an Ent...and 2) never, NEVER get an Ent on its bad side! I feel like as if I'm soaked right now...got many splinters, since holding onto a tree for three hours straight...oh...wait! Not a tree...an Ent...so yeah...OUCH! *removes a splinter* This is going to take a while...OUCH!! SHIRE FOREVER!!!
~ ~ ~
YAY! Ok...I want to thank all those who wasted/took their time to review, even though that this was completely stupid!!!! So yeah...and I WILL be planning to do another one for Return of the King!
*Remaining fellowship and characters look at each other*
CAST: *gulp*
Tarabrethil: O___O
Special Thank You To:
Indigo Star ((especially to you!!!))
Addicted
Kat
FrodoFan
Effie
PinkMartini
paris
Belothien
carrott
gide
I Love Beans
wOLF8
Eomer
SangritaLolita
Madeleine541
Paris(Eomer)
I want to thank all of you for encouraging me! Thanks a bunch!