Rated: R for language and sex like stuff.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Fox and its writers. Using them w/o permission. Slash. Boy/boy. Gay, underage. Just don't if you think or know you shouldn't.
Spoilers: Don't read if you haven't watched.
Description: Ryan/Seth. Meaningless drabble. Just wanted to make Ryan a *blush* well read on you'll see what I wanted to make him.
Title: Bottom (I hope I never have to name children, because if I'm this bad at naming fics, they'll be called Boy and Girl.)
Bottom
Ryan and Seth had a special relationship. A very close, very personal, very special relationship. Anyone with two eyes, half a brain, or the common sense of a cabbage could see it. Mr. and Mrs. Cohen could see it and tried like hell to ignore it. Marissa and Summer could see it and likewise, tried like hell to ignore it. Luke and his buddies could see it and it was the main reason they picked so many fights with the two of them. Anyone could see it.
It probably wouldn't be as obvious if they didn't have that staring into each other's eyes constantly problem. Or the tendency to touch each other none stop problem. Or the completing each other's sentences problem. And it would really help if they didn't have that problem where they would forget (or possibly ignore) the fact that anyone else was in the room and start pawing at each other.
And paw at each other they did. They made out so often Kirsten often checked to see if her son had grown some sort of gills that could breathe for him while his mouth was smashed down on Ryan's. They jerked each other off so often they knew the feeling of each other's dicks just as well as their own, and exactly how they liked it. They exchanged blowjobs and contorted into 69 positions so often, Sandy had actually looked up the caloric content of semen on the computer because it seemed to be making up 50% of the boys' diets. They touched each other and got each other off in every way possible. Except one.
They weren't having sex.
Anything and everything else.
But they weren't having sex.
And it drove Seth crazy.
Because Seth was ready.
So fucking ready.
He was ready at this very minute as he laid naked on Ryan's bed, flipping through a comic book as Ryan napped next to him, rendered exhausted from the blowjob Seth had just given him. Ryan was curled up on his side, his head resting in that area between Seth's shoulder and chest where a head can rest with the up most comfort, Seth's arm wrapped around him. Seth was flipping through the comic book, but he wasn't really reading it. His mind was focused on the one thing it had been focused on for weeks now; sex with Ryan.
Seth squirmed a little when that thought had the effect it always had. He lowered his comic, looked down across his body, and watched as his limp cock began to fill slightly and rise from where it rested against his thigh.
"Hmm..." Seth muttered to himself, half in frustration, half in pleasure. He could picture it, sprawled out on this bed, pinned beneath Ryan as the stronger boy thrust in to him over and over again, bringing them both to the point of no return. He swallowed another strangled moan, not wanting to wake Ryan.
Seth just couldn't understand it. Ryan was more than willing to do anything with him. That point was very much proven not an hour ago when Ryan allowed Seth to tie him up and tease him for what felt like forever before finally completing the blowjob. Ryan was never shy or nervous about trying anything new, even if it was different, or even a little kinky. But anytime Seth even mentioned Ryan making love to him, or in the moments when he wasn't using his pretty words, begging Ryan to fuck him, Ryan froze, pulled away, and it would take Seth quite some time to coax him back into a loving, playing mood. He had tried to get Ryan to explain it, but so far he hadn't gotten any concrete answers. He knew it had nothing to do with a bad experience; Ryan had spent hours assuring him of that. Seth also knew it had nothing to do with religion or any 'that would make me being gay concrete' homosexual hang ups. Ryan had assured him of that too. He had once mumbled he was just not ready for sex. And Seth had noticed that when it was just referred to as sex, Ryan didn't freak out quite as badly. But fucking hell, it was whenever Seth referred to it as being made love to or being fucked that Ryan got all bent out of shape.
Seth just didn't understand it. He didn't understand it at all.
The only things Seth could come up with were that Ryan was afraid he would hurt him. And now Seth would be the first to admit that Ryan was very well endowed, but it wasn't so large that he was afraid of it. He was actually looking forward to it. But the two of them had always been very safe with each other and respectful towards each others boundaries, so he just couldn't convince himself that that was the reason.
And then Seth thought that maybe Ryan was afraid of transmitting some kind disease. But after everything else they 'had' done together, Seth knew Ryan wasn't so naive as to believe that sex was the only way to pass on an STD, so he couldn't convince himself that that was the reason either.
And the only other explanation Seth could ever conjure up was that for some weird, fucked up reason, Ryan wanted to preserve his virginity. Which was stupid. And girly. And archaic. It wasn't like they could wait until they got married and then Seth could gift Ryan with it then. They were 16 and gay for fucks sake! If they were going to wait until they were married, they'd be waiting a very long time. Like forever!
Seth obviously hadn't bottled the sigh he let out as well as he had hoped, because he felt Ryan stir next to him, felt the warm hand that smoothed over his stomach, resting right above his still semi-hard erection. Seth could feel Ryan smile against his shoulder. "And what has you so amused?"
Ryan tilted his head slightly so he was almost looking up at Seth. "Hmm..." He yawned. "What has you half excited?"
Seth had to smile back at him. It was damn near impossible not to when Ryan was all tousle haired and sleepy eyes. "Just thinking."
Ryan was now tracing mindless patterns on the skin right above Seth's privates. "About what?"
Seth felt himself harden further from Ryan's touch. He closed his eyes and groaned. "Same thing I'm always thinking about."
"Comic books?"
"No, the other thing."
"Skateboarding."
"No, the other thing."
"Videogames."
"No, the other thing."
"Punk music."
"No, the other thing."
"Alright, I'm at a loss, what else do you think about?"
Seth opened his eyes and shifted the arm he had wrapped around Ryan so that he could rub the boy's shoulder with his hand. "Sex Ryan... I'm thinking about sex."
"Hmmm..." Ryan murmured again, his fingers caressing a little closer to Seth's manhood now. "Were you hoping I'd return the favor from before? Were you looking forward to your own blowjob?"
Seth shook his head. "Nope, no blowjob." He paused, taking a breath, and then decided it was time to bite the bullet. "I was thinking about real sex. About you making love to me."
And just like it always happened, Ryan froze. His hand ceased its movement and he began to pull away from where he rested on Seth's shoulder.
Seth was ready for him though. He held tight to Ryan, forcing him to stay where he was. "Don't even think about it Ry, not this time. I'm tired of this." He hoped he was the only one who could hear the whine in his voice. "We're either going to have sex or you're going to explain to me when we can or why we can't."
"Seth..." And Seth was surprised to hear the tremble in Ryan's voice. "I said I'm not ready, why isn't that enough of an answer for you?"
"Because I don't buy it as an answer." Seth responded and he felt Ryan tighten even more in his arms. "Listen, I'm not in to coercion or forcing you or anything. But I don't buy that you aren't ready. I think it's something else. And I think it's most likely something we can resolve quite quickly and then get on with the sex."
Ryan was trying to pull away again, but was unsuccessful when Seth had him so firmly. "Seth... no... I can't... I mean... I don't." He gave another tug. "I can't talk about this!"
Hearing the panic in Ryan's voice, Seth gathered him even closer, not as much holding him captive now, but holding him to comfort him. He went back to rubbing his shoulder lightly and placed small kisses on his forehead. "When has there ever been anything we couldn't talk about? We talk about everything. You can tell me anything. You know that."
Ryan relaxed in Seth's arms. "Not this."
Seth placed more kisses, moving from his forehead to his cheeks and nose as well. "Are you afraid you're going to hurt me?"
Ryan closed his eyes tight and shook his head.
"Do you have some STD you're afraid of transmitting?"
Ryan shook his head again. "No, it's not either of those."
"Do you have some medievaly romantic need to keep me a virgin until I'm married?"
Ryan actually managed a small laugh at that. "No Seth, it isn't that either; trust me."
Seth smiled softly and kissed Ryan softly on the lips. "Then why don't you tell me what it is? I can tell it's something that upsets you, don't you think you'll feel better about it if you let it out in the open. I promise if it's something I don't think we can resolve easily I'll drop the subject and never speak of it again unless you bring it up."
Ryan was shaking lightly in Seth's arms. He drew his face away from the kisses and buried it in Seth's less than developed chest. "I can't Seth, I can't." He mumbled almost incoherently. "I'm too embarrassed."
Seth's heart swelled. He was so in love with this boy and as much as it hurt him to see Ryan in a vulnerable state, it still meant something very important to him that he was the only one who ever got to see him that way. "Don't be embarrassed. There's no reason to be embarrassed about something in front of me. You must have forgotten who you're with, Seth, the king of embarrassing moments. Do you remember the first blowjob I tried to give you? Nothing could be more embarrassing then that."
Ryan was beginning to feel a little more confident. Seth was right, if he wouldn't understand; who would? "Seth." He started slowly, cursing the way his voice still seemed to shake. "Why do you want to have sex with me?"
"Why?" Seth seemed temporarily stunned. "Hell Ryan, I thought that was pretty obvious. I'm in love with you. I want us to take that next step so we can be even closer. Sex is like joining as one, isn't it? I want us to share that. I want us to be able to express that to each other."
Ryan had to bury his face in Seth's chest again because the sheer power and love of that comment had overwhelmed beyond anything he had known possible. It took his a good few minutes to recover. When he finally did he lifted his head and looked back up at Seth. He hoped like hell that he was imagining that he felt tears in his eyes, that they were just because he had only just woken up a few moments ago. "And why do you want it to be me who makes love to you? Why not the other way around?"
Seth was looking shocked again. He needed a moment to comprehend the question before he was able to give an answer. "To be honest... I never pictured you on the receiving end. Every time I thought about it, I just assumed you'd make love to me. Why?"
"You never thought about it the other way? You never thought what it would be like to make love to me?"
Seth shook his head no. But then he began to think about it. He could picture it, sprawled out on this bed, Ryan pinned beneath him as the he gently thrust in to him over and over again, bringing them both to the point of no return. The idea made him harder than he had ever been before. Harder even then the thought of Ryan making love to him made him. Seth eyes were wide as he stared down at Ryan. "I never thought about it that way."
Ryan stared nervously back. "Would you be willing to do it that way?"
Seth almost laughed. "Would I be willing? Are you joking? I'm the one who has been begging for sex. I'd be willing to do it any way." But then he dropped the joking tone. "Why? Is this going to be one of the lectures on how we're supposed to be equals?"
Ryan smiled at him. "No, it's not that, it's just that I..." He quickly stopped himself as he realized he had been about to spill it all.
Seth palmed Ryan's cheek with his hand and leaned in to kiss him lightly again. "Its okay, whatever it is, its okay. Just tell me."
Ryan smiled a little sadly at Seth and then placed his head back down, shifting up a little so it rested right under his throat. He drew in an extremely deep breath and began. "It's never been that I didn't want to have sex. I feel the same way you do; I'm in love with you too. I'm dying to take that next step so we can be even closer, so that we can do that whole joining as one thingy you said." He paused and drew another shaky breath. "However, whenever I think about it, I never picture me making love to you. I always picture you making love to me. And unlike you, when it dawned on me that it could work both ways, I had no desire to make love to you. When I informed you that you could make love to me, you were all for it, but Seth, I don't think I could return the favor."
Seth was silent as he thought; something new for a change. "This is why you've been avoiding this? Because the only way you would want it is for me to make love to you?"
Ryan nodded against Seth. "I thought... I thought... Hell, I don't know what I thought. Maybe that you'd make fun of me or something, call me a girl for wanting to take it instead of give it."
Seth was now holding Ryan so tight he wasn't sure how either of them could still breathe. "Did you really think I'd ever say any of those things to you?"
Ryan shook his head no. "When I think about it now, I realize how fucking unreasonable I was being. I think maybe I was transferring my own disgust with myself over to what I would say if I was you."
Seth kissed the top of Ryan's head again. "There's no reason to be disgusted with yourself! And I definitely am not! It's what feels good to you, it's what feels right. If you want to be fucked in the ear by a carrot that's fine, as long as it's what right to you!"
Ryan placed soft wet kisses on Seth's collar bone. Why had he ever thought Seth wouldn't understand? Why had he been so stubborn about this? "Fuck Seth, I love you so much. Thank you."
"For what? Not being a dick?"
Ryan smiled and laughed. "Exactly..." This time he smirked. "Well, for understanding."
Seth placed more kisses along where Ryan's forehead met his hair. "Of course I'd understand." He was glad Ryan couldn't see the evil grin on his face. "In some relationships sex is an equality thing; both partners take as well as receive. And then in others there's a separation, the top and the bottom, the man and the bitch, the dominant and the submissive." He slid the arm that wasn't around Ryan down the other boy's back, over the curve of his butt, finally grabbing an ass cheek softly. "It's funny though Ryan, in a million years, I never would have pictured you a bottom boy."
Ryan could hear the teasing in Seth's voice and knew that he was just joking, but the fear and humiliation he had been trying to hide before was flooding to the surface. Once again he tried to pull away from Seth.
"Oh no no no. No you don't." Seth grabbed Ryan's butt even tighter and held him still. "You know I was joking, don't you go anywhere!"
"Fuck off Seth, I'm not a submissive and I'm no one's bitch!" Ryan struggled to break free from Seth's hold.
Seth gave Ryan's back side another squeeze and wrapped his other arm tighter around the boy's back. Ryan was upset with him, yes. But he had finally gotten his boyfriend to admit this deep dark secret he had been carrying around for so long. And yes, it had been a surprising deep dark secret, but not a horrible one. Actually, Seth was pretty excited about it now that he knew. He hadn't been lying to Ryan; never in a million years would he have ever pictured his big tough man as the bottom in their sexual relationship. The whole time he had just assumed it would be him. They were equals in this relationship, but Ryan was such a dominant person in all other aspects, Seth's brain just never allowed him to imagine Ryan wanting it any other way. But he did. Maybe Ryan needed one aspect of his life where he didn't have to be dominant, where he didn't have to be in control. Maybe Ryan wanted something where he could just let someone else take the lead. Seth's felt his insides go warm again. And of course, if Ryan did want someone to do that, he would want that to be Seth. Seth slipped his fingers inside the crease of Ryan's back side and stroked downwards very softly. "But you are a bottom aren't you?"
Slightly shocked, Ryan ceased his struggling.
"Because you want this." Seth stroked his fingers back up, pressing a little harder this time so that they brushed against Ryan's puckered entry. "Because you need this."
Without meaning to or even knowing he was doing it, Ryan pushed back to meet those probing fingers.
Seth removed his fingers quickly, allowing them to scramble over the bedspread in search of the small bottle of watermelon flavored lube he had discarded earlier while teasing Ryan as he was tied up. When he found it, he expertly flipped it open with one hand and poured some on to his fingers. Tossing the bottle aside again, he returned his fingers to the last place they had been. This time he didn't just flit across Ryan's hole. This time, with lube soaked fingers he swirled around it applying much more pressure than he had before, pressing teasingly into it. "Because you've been yearning for this for so long that right now, I could call you anything I wanted just as long as I kept doing exactly what I am doing."
Ryan was returning to his senses now and he was wondering exactly where Seth had learned to talk like that. They whispered dirty little nothings to each other, screamed out there perverted little fantasy mid coitus, but Ryan had never heard Seth speak like this. And the worst (or possibly best) part of it all was that Seth was right. He could call him anything he wanted, just as long as he kept doing what he was doing. As long as he went further. "Seth."
Seth smirked when he heard the longing in Ryan's voice. He knew he had been right. Of course he did, because otherwise he wouldn't be doing what he was doing.
So, Seth stopped teasing. Starting with his one finger he slid it right into Ryan, felt around a little to learn what his restrictions might be. He slid it back out and then in again so that he was fucking Ryan with his finger.
Ryan wouldn't have been able to hold in his moan of pleasure if Caleb had offered him all his money to do so. This was what he had been waiting for. He couldn't explain it and most of his life hadn't wanted to be able to, but all he had ever wanted was to be touched this way, to be handled this way, to feel something inside him like this. Even before he had met Seth and he had been with girls, this had been missing. And then when Seth became his and they started their relationship, he knew that in order for it to be complete, at least sexually, this was going to have to be a part of it at some point.
Seth was using to fingers now and he was amazed by how tight it was, how hot it was, and how much he wanted to stick his dick in there. He continued to finger fuck Ryan, in and out, every once and a while twisting or turning his fingers. At one point he his something small, hard, and bumpy and Ryan let out a pleasure soaked gasp, so Seth was now making a point to find whatever that was and hit it over and over again. "And it's not just that you need this. You need this from me. You couldn't just let anyone do this to you. It has to be me. Because I'm the one you love. I'm the one who loves you. I'm the one who understands."
Ryan let out another gasp, which ended on a porn style groan. "Hell yeah. Shit Seth. I need you to do this. Fuckin. Please Seth, I love you."
Seth didn't bother with a 3rd finger. He pulled his fingers from Ryan and grabbed the bottled of lube again. He made sure his hardened member was nice and slick before turning Ryan on to his back and grabbing his hips. He positioned himself behind the shorter boy and with a steady hand and the slowest, gentlest of speeds, guided himself into Ryan.
The feeling was pure nirvana.
On both sides.
For Ryan, it was what he had been wanting and needing for so long now.
And for Seth, well every boy's first taste of sex is nirvana.
Seth found that it was easier to strike Ryan's little pleasure bump with his dick than it had been with his fingers, especially doing it like they were now, with Ryan facing the bed. No one would blame them if it only lasted a minute and a half, as they were both getting what they had lusted after for so long now. But they made a good go at it and surprised even themselves.
Some time later after they were finished, they lay curled up under the covers, ready for sleep, Ryan once again in Seth's arms.
As Seth stared at him, he swore the blonde looked so content; he was half expecting him to start purring. "You enjoyed that then?"
"Mmm." Ryan murmured, snuggling closer to Seth's slight frame. "You could say that. But I'm pretty fucking sure you did as well."
Seth smirked. "Well yeah, I did. But I don't think as much as my little."
Ryan cut him off. "Call me a bitch or a submissive and that is that last time we ever do that."
Seth kissed him full on his angered mouth. "I wasn't going to call you either of those, because you were right, you aren't either of those. There isn't a submissive bone in your body and trust, I'm plenty aware you're all man, not bitch."
Ryan gave a little smirk and kissed him back. "So what were you going to call me?"
Seth's eyes were sparkling. "What do you think?" And he gave Ryan's backside a small pinch.
Ryan turned a little pink, but he kept his gaze on Seth. Finally he sighed and shrugged. "Alright, maybe I'm a bit of a bottom boy. But if you ever mention that fact to anyone I'll."
Seth cut him off with another thorough kiss. "Don't worry; your secret is safe with me. You may be a bottom boy, but you're my bottom boy, and I kinda want to keep it that way."
The end.
| |
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Fox and its writers. Using them w/o permission. Slash. Boy/boy. Gay, underage. Just don't if you think or know you shouldn't.
Spoilers: Don't read if you haven't watched.
Description: Ryan/Seth. Meaningless drabble. Just wanted to make Ryan a *blush* well read on you'll see what I wanted to make him.
Title: Bottom (I hope I never have to name children, because if I'm this bad at naming fics, they'll be called Boy and Girl.)
Bottom
Ryan and Seth had a special relationship. A very close, very personal, very special relationship. Anyone with two eyes, half a brain, or the common sense of a cabbage could see it. Mr. and Mrs. Cohen could see it and tried like hell to ignore it. Marissa and Summer could see it and likewise, tried like hell to ignore it. Luke and his buddies could see it and it was the main reason they picked so many fights with the two of them. Anyone could see it.
It probably wouldn't be as obvious if they didn't have that staring into each other's eyes constantly problem. Or the tendency to touch each other none stop problem. Or the completing each other's sentences problem. And it would really help if they didn't have that problem where they would forget (or possibly ignore) the fact that anyone else was in the room and start pawing at each other.
And paw at each other they did. They made out so often Kirsten often checked to see if her son had grown some sort of gills that could breathe for him while his mouth was smashed down on Ryan's. They jerked each other off so often they knew the feeling of each other's dicks just as well as their own, and exactly how they liked it. They exchanged blowjobs and contorted into 69 positions so often, Sandy had actually looked up the caloric content of semen on the computer because it seemed to be making up 50% of the boys' diets. They touched each other and got each other off in every way possible. Except one.
They weren't having sex.
Anything and everything else.
But they weren't having sex.
And it drove Seth crazy.
Because Seth was ready.
So fucking ready.
He was ready at this very minute as he laid naked on Ryan's bed, flipping through a comic book as Ryan napped next to him, rendered exhausted from the blowjob Seth had just given him. Ryan was curled up on his side, his head resting in that area between Seth's shoulder and chest where a head can rest with the up most comfort, Seth's arm wrapped around him. Seth was flipping through the comic book, but he wasn't really reading it. His mind was focused on the one thing it had been focused on for weeks now; sex with Ryan.
Seth squirmed a little when that thought had the effect it always had. He lowered his comic, looked down across his body, and watched as his limp cock began to fill slightly and rise from where it rested against his thigh.
"Hmm..." Seth muttered to himself, half in frustration, half in pleasure. He could picture it, sprawled out on this bed, pinned beneath Ryan as the stronger boy thrust in to him over and over again, bringing them both to the point of no return. He swallowed another strangled moan, not wanting to wake Ryan.
Seth just couldn't understand it. Ryan was more than willing to do anything with him. That point was very much proven not an hour ago when Ryan allowed Seth to tie him up and tease him for what felt like forever before finally completing the blowjob. Ryan was never shy or nervous about trying anything new, even if it was different, or even a little kinky. But anytime Seth even mentioned Ryan making love to him, or in the moments when he wasn't using his pretty words, begging Ryan to fuck him, Ryan froze, pulled away, and it would take Seth quite some time to coax him back into a loving, playing mood. He had tried to get Ryan to explain it, but so far he hadn't gotten any concrete answers. He knew it had nothing to do with a bad experience; Ryan had spent hours assuring him of that. Seth also knew it had nothing to do with religion or any 'that would make me being gay concrete' homosexual hang ups. Ryan had assured him of that too. He had once mumbled he was just not ready for sex. And Seth had noticed that when it was just referred to as sex, Ryan didn't freak out quite as badly. But fucking hell, it was whenever Seth referred to it as being made love to or being fucked that Ryan got all bent out of shape.
Seth just didn't understand it. He didn't understand it at all.
The only things Seth could come up with were that Ryan was afraid he would hurt him. And now Seth would be the first to admit that Ryan was very well endowed, but it wasn't so large that he was afraid of it. He was actually looking forward to it. But the two of them had always been very safe with each other and respectful towards each others boundaries, so he just couldn't convince himself that that was the reason.
And then Seth thought that maybe Ryan was afraid of transmitting some kind disease. But after everything else they 'had' done together, Seth knew Ryan wasn't so naive as to believe that sex was the only way to pass on an STD, so he couldn't convince himself that that was the reason either.
And the only other explanation Seth could ever conjure up was that for some weird, fucked up reason, Ryan wanted to preserve his virginity. Which was stupid. And girly. And archaic. It wasn't like they could wait until they got married and then Seth could gift Ryan with it then. They were 16 and gay for fucks sake! If they were going to wait until they were married, they'd be waiting a very long time. Like forever!
Seth obviously hadn't bottled the sigh he let out as well as he had hoped, because he felt Ryan stir next to him, felt the warm hand that smoothed over his stomach, resting right above his still semi-hard erection. Seth could feel Ryan smile against his shoulder. "And what has you so amused?"
Ryan tilted his head slightly so he was almost looking up at Seth. "Hmm..." He yawned. "What has you half excited?"
Seth had to smile back at him. It was damn near impossible not to when Ryan was all tousle haired and sleepy eyes. "Just thinking."
Ryan was now tracing mindless patterns on the skin right above Seth's privates. "About what?"
Seth felt himself harden further from Ryan's touch. He closed his eyes and groaned. "Same thing I'm always thinking about."
"Comic books?"
"No, the other thing."
"Skateboarding."
"No, the other thing."
"Videogames."
"No, the other thing."
"Punk music."
"No, the other thing."
"Alright, I'm at a loss, what else do you think about?"
Seth opened his eyes and shifted the arm he had wrapped around Ryan so that he could rub the boy's shoulder with his hand. "Sex Ryan... I'm thinking about sex."
"Hmmm..." Ryan murmured again, his fingers caressing a little closer to Seth's manhood now. "Were you hoping I'd return the favor from before? Were you looking forward to your own blowjob?"
Seth shook his head. "Nope, no blowjob." He paused, taking a breath, and then decided it was time to bite the bullet. "I was thinking about real sex. About you making love to me."
And just like it always happened, Ryan froze. His hand ceased its movement and he began to pull away from where he rested on Seth's shoulder.
Seth was ready for him though. He held tight to Ryan, forcing him to stay where he was. "Don't even think about it Ry, not this time. I'm tired of this." He hoped he was the only one who could hear the whine in his voice. "We're either going to have sex or you're going to explain to me when we can or why we can't."
"Seth..." And Seth was surprised to hear the tremble in Ryan's voice. "I said I'm not ready, why isn't that enough of an answer for you?"
"Because I don't buy it as an answer." Seth responded and he felt Ryan tighten even more in his arms. "Listen, I'm not in to coercion or forcing you or anything. But I don't buy that you aren't ready. I think it's something else. And I think it's most likely something we can resolve quite quickly and then get on with the sex."
Ryan was trying to pull away again, but was unsuccessful when Seth had him so firmly. "Seth... no... I can't... I mean... I don't." He gave another tug. "I can't talk about this!"
Hearing the panic in Ryan's voice, Seth gathered him even closer, not as much holding him captive now, but holding him to comfort him. He went back to rubbing his shoulder lightly and placed small kisses on his forehead. "When has there ever been anything we couldn't talk about? We talk about everything. You can tell me anything. You know that."
Ryan relaxed in Seth's arms. "Not this."
Seth placed more kisses, moving from his forehead to his cheeks and nose as well. "Are you afraid you're going to hurt me?"
Ryan closed his eyes tight and shook his head.
"Do you have some STD you're afraid of transmitting?"
Ryan shook his head again. "No, it's not either of those."
"Do you have some medievaly romantic need to keep me a virgin until I'm married?"
Ryan actually managed a small laugh at that. "No Seth, it isn't that either; trust me."
Seth smiled softly and kissed Ryan softly on the lips. "Then why don't you tell me what it is? I can tell it's something that upsets you, don't you think you'll feel better about it if you let it out in the open. I promise if it's something I don't think we can resolve easily I'll drop the subject and never speak of it again unless you bring it up."
Ryan was shaking lightly in Seth's arms. He drew his face away from the kisses and buried it in Seth's less than developed chest. "I can't Seth, I can't." He mumbled almost incoherently. "I'm too embarrassed."
Seth's heart swelled. He was so in love with this boy and as much as it hurt him to see Ryan in a vulnerable state, it still meant something very important to him that he was the only one who ever got to see him that way. "Don't be embarrassed. There's no reason to be embarrassed about something in front of me. You must have forgotten who you're with, Seth, the king of embarrassing moments. Do you remember the first blowjob I tried to give you? Nothing could be more embarrassing then that."
Ryan was beginning to feel a little more confident. Seth was right, if he wouldn't understand; who would? "Seth." He started slowly, cursing the way his voice still seemed to shake. "Why do you want to have sex with me?"
"Why?" Seth seemed temporarily stunned. "Hell Ryan, I thought that was pretty obvious. I'm in love with you. I want us to take that next step so we can be even closer. Sex is like joining as one, isn't it? I want us to share that. I want us to be able to express that to each other."
Ryan had to bury his face in Seth's chest again because the sheer power and love of that comment had overwhelmed beyond anything he had known possible. It took his a good few minutes to recover. When he finally did he lifted his head and looked back up at Seth. He hoped like hell that he was imagining that he felt tears in his eyes, that they were just because he had only just woken up a few moments ago. "And why do you want it to be me who makes love to you? Why not the other way around?"
Seth was looking shocked again. He needed a moment to comprehend the question before he was able to give an answer. "To be honest... I never pictured you on the receiving end. Every time I thought about it, I just assumed you'd make love to me. Why?"
"You never thought about it the other way? You never thought what it would be like to make love to me?"
Seth shook his head no. But then he began to think about it. He could picture it, sprawled out on this bed, Ryan pinned beneath him as the he gently thrust in to him over and over again, bringing them both to the point of no return. The idea made him harder than he had ever been before. Harder even then the thought of Ryan making love to him made him. Seth eyes were wide as he stared down at Ryan. "I never thought about it that way."
Ryan stared nervously back. "Would you be willing to do it that way?"
Seth almost laughed. "Would I be willing? Are you joking? I'm the one who has been begging for sex. I'd be willing to do it any way." But then he dropped the joking tone. "Why? Is this going to be one of the lectures on how we're supposed to be equals?"
Ryan smiled at him. "No, it's not that, it's just that I..." He quickly stopped himself as he realized he had been about to spill it all.
Seth palmed Ryan's cheek with his hand and leaned in to kiss him lightly again. "Its okay, whatever it is, its okay. Just tell me."
Ryan smiled a little sadly at Seth and then placed his head back down, shifting up a little so it rested right under his throat. He drew in an extremely deep breath and began. "It's never been that I didn't want to have sex. I feel the same way you do; I'm in love with you too. I'm dying to take that next step so we can be even closer, so that we can do that whole joining as one thingy you said." He paused and drew another shaky breath. "However, whenever I think about it, I never picture me making love to you. I always picture you making love to me. And unlike you, when it dawned on me that it could work both ways, I had no desire to make love to you. When I informed you that you could make love to me, you were all for it, but Seth, I don't think I could return the favor."
Seth was silent as he thought; something new for a change. "This is why you've been avoiding this? Because the only way you would want it is for me to make love to you?"
Ryan nodded against Seth. "I thought... I thought... Hell, I don't know what I thought. Maybe that you'd make fun of me or something, call me a girl for wanting to take it instead of give it."
Seth was now holding Ryan so tight he wasn't sure how either of them could still breathe. "Did you really think I'd ever say any of those things to you?"
Ryan shook his head no. "When I think about it now, I realize how fucking unreasonable I was being. I think maybe I was transferring my own disgust with myself over to what I would say if I was you."
Seth kissed the top of Ryan's head again. "There's no reason to be disgusted with yourself! And I definitely am not! It's what feels good to you, it's what feels right. If you want to be fucked in the ear by a carrot that's fine, as long as it's what right to you!"
Ryan placed soft wet kisses on Seth's collar bone. Why had he ever thought Seth wouldn't understand? Why had he been so stubborn about this? "Fuck Seth, I love you so much. Thank you."
"For what? Not being a dick?"
Ryan smiled and laughed. "Exactly..." This time he smirked. "Well, for understanding."
Seth placed more kisses along where Ryan's forehead met his hair. "Of course I'd understand." He was glad Ryan couldn't see the evil grin on his face. "In some relationships sex is an equality thing; both partners take as well as receive. And then in others there's a separation, the top and the bottom, the man and the bitch, the dominant and the submissive." He slid the arm that wasn't around Ryan down the other boy's back, over the curve of his butt, finally grabbing an ass cheek softly. "It's funny though Ryan, in a million years, I never would have pictured you a bottom boy."
Ryan could hear the teasing in Seth's voice and knew that he was just joking, but the fear and humiliation he had been trying to hide before was flooding to the surface. Once again he tried to pull away from Seth.
"Oh no no no. No you don't." Seth grabbed Ryan's butt even tighter and held him still. "You know I was joking, don't you go anywhere!"
"Fuck off Seth, I'm not a submissive and I'm no one's bitch!" Ryan struggled to break free from Seth's hold.
Seth gave Ryan's back side another squeeze and wrapped his other arm tighter around the boy's back. Ryan was upset with him, yes. But he had finally gotten his boyfriend to admit this deep dark secret he had been carrying around for so long. And yes, it had been a surprising deep dark secret, but not a horrible one. Actually, Seth was pretty excited about it now that he knew. He hadn't been lying to Ryan; never in a million years would he have ever pictured his big tough man as the bottom in their sexual relationship. The whole time he had just assumed it would be him. They were equals in this relationship, but Ryan was such a dominant person in all other aspects, Seth's brain just never allowed him to imagine Ryan wanting it any other way. But he did. Maybe Ryan needed one aspect of his life where he didn't have to be dominant, where he didn't have to be in control. Maybe Ryan wanted something where he could just let someone else take the lead. Seth's felt his insides go warm again. And of course, if Ryan did want someone to do that, he would want that to be Seth. Seth slipped his fingers inside the crease of Ryan's back side and stroked downwards very softly. "But you are a bottom aren't you?"
Slightly shocked, Ryan ceased his struggling.
"Because you want this." Seth stroked his fingers back up, pressing a little harder this time so that they brushed against Ryan's puckered entry. "Because you need this."
Without meaning to or even knowing he was doing it, Ryan pushed back to meet those probing fingers.
Seth removed his fingers quickly, allowing them to scramble over the bedspread in search of the small bottle of watermelon flavored lube he had discarded earlier while teasing Ryan as he was tied up. When he found it, he expertly flipped it open with one hand and poured some on to his fingers. Tossing the bottle aside again, he returned his fingers to the last place they had been. This time he didn't just flit across Ryan's hole. This time, with lube soaked fingers he swirled around it applying much more pressure than he had before, pressing teasingly into it. "Because you've been yearning for this for so long that right now, I could call you anything I wanted just as long as I kept doing exactly what I am doing."
Ryan was returning to his senses now and he was wondering exactly where Seth had learned to talk like that. They whispered dirty little nothings to each other, screamed out there perverted little fantasy mid coitus, but Ryan had never heard Seth speak like this. And the worst (or possibly best) part of it all was that Seth was right. He could call him anything he wanted, just as long as he kept doing what he was doing. As long as he went further. "Seth."
Seth smirked when he heard the longing in Ryan's voice. He knew he had been right. Of course he did, because otherwise he wouldn't be doing what he was doing.
So, Seth stopped teasing. Starting with his one finger he slid it right into Ryan, felt around a little to learn what his restrictions might be. He slid it back out and then in again so that he was fucking Ryan with his finger.
Ryan wouldn't have been able to hold in his moan of pleasure if Caleb had offered him all his money to do so. This was what he had been waiting for. He couldn't explain it and most of his life hadn't wanted to be able to, but all he had ever wanted was to be touched this way, to be handled this way, to feel something inside him like this. Even before he had met Seth and he had been with girls, this had been missing. And then when Seth became his and they started their relationship, he knew that in order for it to be complete, at least sexually, this was going to have to be a part of it at some point.
Seth was using to fingers now and he was amazed by how tight it was, how hot it was, and how much he wanted to stick his dick in there. He continued to finger fuck Ryan, in and out, every once and a while twisting or turning his fingers. At one point he his something small, hard, and bumpy and Ryan let out a pleasure soaked gasp, so Seth was now making a point to find whatever that was and hit it over and over again. "And it's not just that you need this. You need this from me. You couldn't just let anyone do this to you. It has to be me. Because I'm the one you love. I'm the one who loves you. I'm the one who understands."
Ryan let out another gasp, which ended on a porn style groan. "Hell yeah. Shit Seth. I need you to do this. Fuckin. Please Seth, I love you."
Seth didn't bother with a 3rd finger. He pulled his fingers from Ryan and grabbed the bottled of lube again. He made sure his hardened member was nice and slick before turning Ryan on to his back and grabbing his hips. He positioned himself behind the shorter boy and with a steady hand and the slowest, gentlest of speeds, guided himself into Ryan.
The feeling was pure nirvana.
On both sides.
For Ryan, it was what he had been wanting and needing for so long now.
And for Seth, well every boy's first taste of sex is nirvana.
Seth found that it was easier to strike Ryan's little pleasure bump with his dick than it had been with his fingers, especially doing it like they were now, with Ryan facing the bed. No one would blame them if it only lasted a minute and a half, as they were both getting what they had lusted after for so long now. But they made a good go at it and surprised even themselves.
Some time later after they were finished, they lay curled up under the covers, ready for sleep, Ryan once again in Seth's arms.
As Seth stared at him, he swore the blonde looked so content; he was half expecting him to start purring. "You enjoyed that then?"
"Mmm." Ryan murmured, snuggling closer to Seth's slight frame. "You could say that. But I'm pretty fucking sure you did as well."
Seth smirked. "Well yeah, I did. But I don't think as much as my little."
Ryan cut him off. "Call me a bitch or a submissive and that is that last time we ever do that."
Seth kissed him full on his angered mouth. "I wasn't going to call you either of those, because you were right, you aren't either of those. There isn't a submissive bone in your body and trust, I'm plenty aware you're all man, not bitch."
Ryan gave a little smirk and kissed him back. "So what were you going to call me?"
Seth's eyes were sparkling. "What do you think?" And he gave Ryan's backside a small pinch.
Ryan turned a little pink, but he kept his gaze on Seth. Finally he sighed and shrugged. "Alright, maybe I'm a bit of a bottom boy. But if you ever mention that fact to anyone I'll."
Seth cut him off with another thorough kiss. "Don't worry; your secret is safe with me. You may be a bottom boy, but you're my bottom boy, and I kinda want to keep it that way."
The end.
| |