(Disclaimer-This fan-fiction contains material from the well-known Inu-
Yasha series, which is not my property.)
(As you all know, this is from Kagome's Diary, and she calls it You. If you want to send a reply, please send it to: surfin_loka@yahoo.com. If you want to check a cool Inu-Yasha site, go to . Thanx! ()
Worst Day
Dear You:
I sob uncontrollably to my pillow. I hold it tight, as if I needed it to warm my heart, which seemed to have stopped beating in my mind.
Did my feelings mean deceit? Have they betrayed me and left to whom they felt affection or anger, or the most strongest and inflicting emotions? Have I betrayed myself?
It seems as if the world around me were all planning a plot, and this plot was meant to hurt and torture me.
I have been cursed with Inu-Yasha's talkative silence. I feel his regard toward the more serious matters of his life, which didn't seem to be including me. I may weep like a child, but I am not a foolish one. I know what he feels for me, but I know that he has too much pride and reputation to come to me with loving words and kind emotions. He may be half human and half monstrosity, but both have a heart, and I know that love reigns in his.
I mourn and sigh at the thought of Mother getting married. I couldn't bear to see her with such awful man. He is worthy of nothing. He is just an opportunity that came with the wind, which will take back what is rightfully his, as I hope, and take this fiancée of my Mother back with it.
Life is just treating me like its slave, but a slave that doesn't crawl on the floor to get a gold coin. No. A slave that walks upright and will never slouch or lower her head. That is what I am.
If I grow up to be a maid, I will serve. If I grow up to be a Mother of a family, let me teach manners and courtesy. If I grow up to be a teacher, let me teach and learn, and always instruct the best. But, from all that I can be and achieve, I could never teach what will never be let to waste: love, kindness, and respect.
Many may say one could instruct these, but I think not. I could never teach love because feelings, true ones, can never be obliged onto a person. Kindness cannot be teached because, you can say that one should say, 'thank you' and ' how are you?' and 'may I help you?', but these would never mean anything at all if you didn't like the one that you would be kind to, because when you say these words, they have a meaning, and the meaning comes from the feeling, and the feeling comes from the heart.
I could never teach respect, because I could say, 'respect the elderly' and 'respect your teachers', but they just don't mean anything without the feeling that you do not have, because you didn't gain it, one just told you to do it.
Inu-Yasha thinks that what I think is wrong. He thinks that not everything should come from the heart, but I ask you, what value does what I say have? What value, if it does not come from the heart? In your exterior, you lie, and in your inside, you speak the truth, which may sting in the mouth when you arrange the words to speak. I see no point to life if it revolves around lies, lies that make others happy and make one sad. That is what I feel now. Pain to speak the truth, headache to speak a lie. I decided to make a vow, and not speak at all, but Inu-Yasha thinks it a personal insult. I ask, You, what may I do, if not weep, mourn, sob, cry, until life gives me a chance to see my mistakes' beginning.
They may say that life will pass me by. No doubt it will! I do not dare to speak about this truth, for I will never admit it to anyone. Inu- Yasha is my love, and only You know. I can only trust You, You who will never tell me what is wrong and what is right. You, who does not offer any advice when I am in need. You, who may acknowledge anyone who may have the courage to open my private thoughts and feelings, lay their eyes on my life and suck away my happiness.
Now I know that You are not so trustful, but why do I talk about what I knew since the beginning. I know the consequence of my actions, and I repeatedly remind myself of what morals I have to learn from my mistakes, but why, I ask, should I keep doing what I know might bring me sadness and days of more sorrows?
I know why. Because I have been confident enough to write here, knowing someone could lay eyes on my life. Because I could not confide in anyone else but You. Because I know that if my life is spilled from my mouth into someone's knowledge, I know I will regret the second I opened my mouth and a sound came out of it.
I can't believe that no one is trustful. That no one has offered me his or her helping hand. I am surprised that no one has seen me mourning in daylight, and sobbing at night.
You can say that I am waiting for Inu-Yasha to tell me what he feels. I wish that he would come with open arms and hold me. Hold me tight and never let go. Tell me he misses me. Tell me he needs me. Tell me he loves me.
I want all of this to come from his lips, because I miss him. I need him. I love him. I wish he would take me in his arms and kiss me. Kiss me forever and ever. Till death do us apart. That is what I want.
I feel better already. I needed to write this or talk of this. It makes me feel better and.clean. Refreshed. I guess what they say about life treaty is right. Life does treat you better if you let it treat you at all.
I have decided to go to the ocean and smell the ocean breeze, and dip my toes in the warm sand. I guess all I needed was a day off of all this traveling and Inu-Yasha nonsense. I do love him, but I will have to wait until he wants to tell me what he feels about me. He is all the contrary of a wave. He goes, but does not come back. He is unlike fresh ocean breeze. He does not delight you over and over again. He does not stay to stay. He stays to go. I wish I could turn him into the ocean breeze and waves. I wish he was truthful. I wish he was there for the taking. I would take him.
Someone is calling me.
I know someone is. Should I answer? No. Probably my Mother's awful fiancée. He always tries to make me smile. I can see through those devious thoughts of his. His cunning smile makes me want to puke. Scusukubakanaya! Thinking he can make a fool of me at school and at my own house? Thinking he can fool me into a death-ringing hug? Well, he may fool Mother, but he isn't going to fool me! He may fool Grandfather too, and Brother, but not me! Oh wind, I beg you! Please take this Teme back with you!
Why must I suffer in my own family's home? Why? Life may be like this to me, but I am not giving up! I am going to survive this plot of all sorrounding me! I won't give in to temptations. I won't! Let God guide me through my destiny, which should show up whenever. I will wait as patiently as a hummingbird. You will see. I will survive.
Kagome
(Please send me a reply to my e-mail in the top of the page because I already made a new Kagome Diary) (
(As you all know, this is from Kagome's Diary, and she calls it You. If you want to send a reply, please send it to: surfin_loka@yahoo.com. If you want to check a cool Inu-Yasha site, go to . Thanx! ()
Worst Day
Dear You:
I sob uncontrollably to my pillow. I hold it tight, as if I needed it to warm my heart, which seemed to have stopped beating in my mind.
Did my feelings mean deceit? Have they betrayed me and left to whom they felt affection or anger, or the most strongest and inflicting emotions? Have I betrayed myself?
It seems as if the world around me were all planning a plot, and this plot was meant to hurt and torture me.
I have been cursed with Inu-Yasha's talkative silence. I feel his regard toward the more serious matters of his life, which didn't seem to be including me. I may weep like a child, but I am not a foolish one. I know what he feels for me, but I know that he has too much pride and reputation to come to me with loving words and kind emotions. He may be half human and half monstrosity, but both have a heart, and I know that love reigns in his.
I mourn and sigh at the thought of Mother getting married. I couldn't bear to see her with such awful man. He is worthy of nothing. He is just an opportunity that came with the wind, which will take back what is rightfully his, as I hope, and take this fiancée of my Mother back with it.
Life is just treating me like its slave, but a slave that doesn't crawl on the floor to get a gold coin. No. A slave that walks upright and will never slouch or lower her head. That is what I am.
If I grow up to be a maid, I will serve. If I grow up to be a Mother of a family, let me teach manners and courtesy. If I grow up to be a teacher, let me teach and learn, and always instruct the best. But, from all that I can be and achieve, I could never teach what will never be let to waste: love, kindness, and respect.
Many may say one could instruct these, but I think not. I could never teach love because feelings, true ones, can never be obliged onto a person. Kindness cannot be teached because, you can say that one should say, 'thank you' and ' how are you?' and 'may I help you?', but these would never mean anything at all if you didn't like the one that you would be kind to, because when you say these words, they have a meaning, and the meaning comes from the feeling, and the feeling comes from the heart.
I could never teach respect, because I could say, 'respect the elderly' and 'respect your teachers', but they just don't mean anything without the feeling that you do not have, because you didn't gain it, one just told you to do it.
Inu-Yasha thinks that what I think is wrong. He thinks that not everything should come from the heart, but I ask you, what value does what I say have? What value, if it does not come from the heart? In your exterior, you lie, and in your inside, you speak the truth, which may sting in the mouth when you arrange the words to speak. I see no point to life if it revolves around lies, lies that make others happy and make one sad. That is what I feel now. Pain to speak the truth, headache to speak a lie. I decided to make a vow, and not speak at all, but Inu-Yasha thinks it a personal insult. I ask, You, what may I do, if not weep, mourn, sob, cry, until life gives me a chance to see my mistakes' beginning.
They may say that life will pass me by. No doubt it will! I do not dare to speak about this truth, for I will never admit it to anyone. Inu- Yasha is my love, and only You know. I can only trust You, You who will never tell me what is wrong and what is right. You, who does not offer any advice when I am in need. You, who may acknowledge anyone who may have the courage to open my private thoughts and feelings, lay their eyes on my life and suck away my happiness.
Now I know that You are not so trustful, but why do I talk about what I knew since the beginning. I know the consequence of my actions, and I repeatedly remind myself of what morals I have to learn from my mistakes, but why, I ask, should I keep doing what I know might bring me sadness and days of more sorrows?
I know why. Because I have been confident enough to write here, knowing someone could lay eyes on my life. Because I could not confide in anyone else but You. Because I know that if my life is spilled from my mouth into someone's knowledge, I know I will regret the second I opened my mouth and a sound came out of it.
I can't believe that no one is trustful. That no one has offered me his or her helping hand. I am surprised that no one has seen me mourning in daylight, and sobbing at night.
You can say that I am waiting for Inu-Yasha to tell me what he feels. I wish that he would come with open arms and hold me. Hold me tight and never let go. Tell me he misses me. Tell me he needs me. Tell me he loves me.
I want all of this to come from his lips, because I miss him. I need him. I love him. I wish he would take me in his arms and kiss me. Kiss me forever and ever. Till death do us apart. That is what I want.
I feel better already. I needed to write this or talk of this. It makes me feel better and.clean. Refreshed. I guess what they say about life treaty is right. Life does treat you better if you let it treat you at all.
I have decided to go to the ocean and smell the ocean breeze, and dip my toes in the warm sand. I guess all I needed was a day off of all this traveling and Inu-Yasha nonsense. I do love him, but I will have to wait until he wants to tell me what he feels about me. He is all the contrary of a wave. He goes, but does not come back. He is unlike fresh ocean breeze. He does not delight you over and over again. He does not stay to stay. He stays to go. I wish I could turn him into the ocean breeze and waves. I wish he was truthful. I wish he was there for the taking. I would take him.
Someone is calling me.
I know someone is. Should I answer? No. Probably my Mother's awful fiancée. He always tries to make me smile. I can see through those devious thoughts of his. His cunning smile makes me want to puke. Scusukubakanaya! Thinking he can make a fool of me at school and at my own house? Thinking he can fool me into a death-ringing hug? Well, he may fool Mother, but he isn't going to fool me! He may fool Grandfather too, and Brother, but not me! Oh wind, I beg you! Please take this Teme back with you!
Why must I suffer in my own family's home? Why? Life may be like this to me, but I am not giving up! I am going to survive this plot of all sorrounding me! I won't give in to temptations. I won't! Let God guide me through my destiny, which should show up whenever. I will wait as patiently as a hummingbird. You will see. I will survive.
Kagome
(Please send me a reply to my e-mail in the top of the page because I already made a new Kagome Diary) (