Author's Note: Okay, more o' the same notes as last time! More pointless
parody! (Oh yeah, this is compiled from actual, barely changed fanfic
plots. Yup.)
The Repulsive Arival at School!
Harry was suddenly alone in the compartment, and Saphirra came in and sat next to him. Harry looked over at her. Hermione and Draco were no where in sight Harry thought one-dimensionally, "Hmmmmmm! Since I are here, and she are here being purty, I wills kiss her! " He did so, and Mary-su--(oops!) SAPHIRRA didn't protest, or say anything, even though they had not met. Ginny burst in and wept, "Oh, Harry, I wuv you! How could you?!!!" Harry was so surprized, he had amnesia. The first person he saw was Saphirra Almondcrunch, so he fell in love.
"Who am I? Am I Harry Potter? That's what is written on my shirt tag, so I guess that is my name. Harry Fruitoftheloom Potter! Wow! But...I seem to remember something............Something, important. I will remember later." Why was Harry reading his shrirt tag? Is fanfic-Harry dumb enough to wear it backwards? They started to kiss again.
The Author now is beginning to HATE this monstrosity they have created.....
They soon arrived at the school. (Not at the Hogsmede station!) .....and they stepped inside to the feast. Everyone turned at the gloriousness of Saphirra Almondcrunch, and some bowed. She seemed to glow, with her confussing hair, and flowing, blowing, silk gown of either blood red, or ultra-blue, but maybe hypnotic purple...let's go with, hmmmm, ultra-blood- purple. Yeah. With a silvery white cape. Wind came from nowhere to show off her strange dress. Her eyes flashed at a mysterious student no-one had ever noticed before, and she glared. The student glared back, looking evil, and hiding their right hand.
"Stuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudents! Listen to me!" Said Dumbledore, standing. "Allow me to introduce Saphirra Almondcrunch, who is very smart and super-powerful, and be exchanging here from America, and just learned she was a witch, and is my grand-daughter! I'm old, so I must have a grand- child! Am I married? Me not care! I is ooooooollllldddddd, and know EVERYTHING! Oh yeah, with Saphirra, comes an undetermined amount of other US kids! All sixth year! Time for sorting! Thank goodness there are no new 1st years, cuz I get so bored with them. Now for the cool exchange students! I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate Slytherin!" Dumbledore shot a spitball at the Slytherins' table and sat down.
The first one was "Sugar-Rose Black" Harry, who had seated himself at the Gryffindor table, gasped "I didn't know that Sirius had a kid! " (HEY! What about the amnesia? Well, this is hyper-odd-amnesia. It only affects things that fit in with this horrible plot.) She went to Gryffindor.
Next: "Dreamysue PetalForest" (Wait a tick! A,B,C,D...hmmm) Gryffindor!
Rajella Thunderstormy: Gryffindor....
Fenny DitsyCute: Gryffindor...
Mysterio Mapletree CuteGuy: Gryffindor (Hey, a boy! )
Evilla Darkemerald Stabintheback: Slytherin. (What a surprize)
Well, this here is the climatic point, just before we sort the main-Mary- Sues, so, yadda-yadda-yadda, an undeterminened number of students is sorted, and: TUNE IN LATER, FOR MORE HORROR!!!!! (Owwww, writer's cramp....)
The Repulsive Arival at School!
Harry was suddenly alone in the compartment, and Saphirra came in and sat next to him. Harry looked over at her. Hermione and Draco were no where in sight Harry thought one-dimensionally, "Hmmmmmm! Since I are here, and she are here being purty, I wills kiss her! " He did so, and Mary-su--(oops!) SAPHIRRA didn't protest, or say anything, even though they had not met. Ginny burst in and wept, "Oh, Harry, I wuv you! How could you?!!!" Harry was so surprized, he had amnesia. The first person he saw was Saphirra Almondcrunch, so he fell in love.
"Who am I? Am I Harry Potter? That's what is written on my shirt tag, so I guess that is my name. Harry Fruitoftheloom Potter! Wow! But...I seem to remember something............Something, important. I will remember later." Why was Harry reading his shrirt tag? Is fanfic-Harry dumb enough to wear it backwards? They started to kiss again.
The Author now is beginning to HATE this monstrosity they have created.....
They soon arrived at the school. (Not at the Hogsmede station!) .....and they stepped inside to the feast. Everyone turned at the gloriousness of Saphirra Almondcrunch, and some bowed. She seemed to glow, with her confussing hair, and flowing, blowing, silk gown of either blood red, or ultra-blue, but maybe hypnotic purple...let's go with, hmmmm, ultra-blood- purple. Yeah. With a silvery white cape. Wind came from nowhere to show off her strange dress. Her eyes flashed at a mysterious student no-one had ever noticed before, and she glared. The student glared back, looking evil, and hiding their right hand.
"Stuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudents! Listen to me!" Said Dumbledore, standing. "Allow me to introduce Saphirra Almondcrunch, who is very smart and super-powerful, and be exchanging here from America, and just learned she was a witch, and is my grand-daughter! I'm old, so I must have a grand- child! Am I married? Me not care! I is ooooooollllldddddd, and know EVERYTHING! Oh yeah, with Saphirra, comes an undetermined amount of other US kids! All sixth year! Time for sorting! Thank goodness there are no new 1st years, cuz I get so bored with them. Now for the cool exchange students! I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate Slytherin!" Dumbledore shot a spitball at the Slytherins' table and sat down.
The first one was "Sugar-Rose Black" Harry, who had seated himself at the Gryffindor table, gasped "I didn't know that Sirius had a kid! " (HEY! What about the amnesia? Well, this is hyper-odd-amnesia. It only affects things that fit in with this horrible plot.) She went to Gryffindor.
Next: "Dreamysue PetalForest" (Wait a tick! A,B,C,D...hmmm) Gryffindor!
Rajella Thunderstormy: Gryffindor....
Fenny DitsyCute: Gryffindor...
Mysterio Mapletree CuteGuy: Gryffindor (Hey, a boy! )
Evilla Darkemerald Stabintheback: Slytherin. (What a surprize)
Well, this here is the climatic point, just before we sort the main-Mary- Sues, so, yadda-yadda-yadda, an undeterminened number of students is sorted, and: TUNE IN LATER, FOR MORE HORROR!!!!! (Owwww, writer's cramp....)