A/N: Hey, another chapter, a another few brain-cells, eh? Well nothing much
to say, except, blame one of my associates for the Hat Rap. Okay?
Da-da-da-da! Three or 11 more Sues later, and after Saphirras friend had been sorted into Gryffindor (Don't worry, There are enough Mary-Sue descriptions I can give you guys later) Finally it was time for the star attraction, who was busy kissing Harry because she was in love with him. Obviously due to the fact that Harry's amnesia was so bad it made Saphirra in love with him too. "Almondcrunch, Saphirra!" Mcgonagal called even though she called the others first name first again. Saphirra stood up, straightening her cape. "Because Saphirra is so beautiful, it would be a shame for her to wear such a dingy ugly stinkhat" McGonagall threw the sorting hat out the window with a look of disgust, she promptly wiped her hands off on Snape's robes, Snape made an ugly face and tried to bite her. She was smitten. So was Hermione. Meanwhile, Dumbledore was pulling out a brand new hat! Decorated by red hearts, shining stars, lucky horseshoes, lucky-duck clovers, and beautiful bouncing-blue moons! Dumbledore cleared his throat "This hat, instead of containing the essence of the three boring boring school founders, especially SMELLtherin" Dumbledore splashed water in Snape's face and then threw the empty goblet at that "dreamboat" Malfoy, who was breaking up with the reincarnation of Tom Riddle's little sister. Far in the back, Hermione cried out in horror, either from Snape's wetness, or Malfoys concussion. "Like I said: instead of having a boring boring bunch of ooooollllddddd dead oafs to be made the kids go to our favrittist hose Gryffindor and the stupid Slytherin, we have a hat possessed by: P PUFFPANTS DIDDLY DING DANG DOOFUS! The greatester rapper on the whole earth!" As Dumbledore set the fancy new hat (that was better than the old smelly hat) down on the table, a CD player opened wide in the hat and began to RAP: The hat rap
by P puffpants diddly ding dang doofus
aired: Harry's 6th year YO WASSUP!? I'M A ROCKIN COOL HAT VOOP VOO VOO VOO VOO VOOP VOO VOO VOOP!
DONT'T WORRY BOUT PUFFY HES COOL WIT DAT ZZZ ZZZ ZZZZ ZZZ ZAP! (repeat)
THIS IS THE ROCKINIST SCHOOL OF ALL ZIPP ZZZZ ZZ ZZZZZZZ ZAPPY ZOOPY ALL! I WAS PEEPIN IN MY COOL CRIB WHEN THAT OL' FOGEY D-DORE KNOCKED ALL LOUD ON MY SHACK! SAY WHAT? (P.P.P.D.D.D.D.) SAY WHAT! (dumbledore's voice) SAY WHAT? (P.P.P.D.D.D.D.) SAY WHAT!(d-dore's voice) SO WE WAS CHILLIN, GRILLIN, CATCHIN SOME X'S ON MA BACK
SO PEEP THIS YOU F**X**** ***Q*** *** * *MM**** **J***!!! AN' I WAS CHILLIN LIKE A MANIAC WHEN D-DORE SEZ: "I GOTS A JOB FOR YOU AND I SAY "WHELL I GOTS A JOB FOR ME TOO" D-DORE THEN TAKEZ TO LAY IT ON DA LINE VOO VOOPY VOOPY VOOP ZZZZ ZZ ZZOOP!"YOUS GOTTA COME WITH ME, GET IN TA THIS HAT, YOU GOT THAT? BAM! CAUSE I'M WASTIN NO TAM!" "THERE'S THIS TWO COOL HOUZEZZZZ THAT NEED YO HELP! THE FIRST ON COOL GRYFFINDOOR AND SLYTHERIN I'S HATES!!" SO I SAYS TO DUMMY" SAY WHAT? SAY WHAT! SAY WHAT? SAY WHAT! And it goes on like that but I don't have time to finish it. Anyway.. Saphirra Almondcrunch sat nervous on the sorting stool while the SORTIN HAAAAAAT pondered its decision.
"Well, youse is realluhy kickin so I mites as well put your curly head in Gryphhindoor gots that?" Saphirra Almondcrunch who wasn't scared at all shook her girlish locks and went to sit down at the Gryffindor table. Harry was so charmed by her beautifulness, that he burst out crying. It was then that a change came over him. A nonsensical, whimsical, foolish, maybe even painful change. He grew over seven feet tall, formed huge muscles big as watermelons, got a stylish hair cut, white teeth, and a coppery tan (..And a HUGE dose of UV light). Everyone looked at him, and salivated. The author wept with self- pity, wondering whether to destroy him and end it all. Then they (Not me) suddenly seemed to see this as if he had always been this way. But several girls creeped closer to him, and clasped to his giant, repulsive muscles, leech-like, giggling. The author is so sickened that one of them turns into a centipede, and leaves.
AUTHOR GETS BORED! FINGERS GET HURT! TUNE IN LATER!!! BYE!
Da-da-da-da! Three or 11 more Sues later, and after Saphirras friend had been sorted into Gryffindor (Don't worry, There are enough Mary-Sue descriptions I can give you guys later) Finally it was time for the star attraction, who was busy kissing Harry because she was in love with him. Obviously due to the fact that Harry's amnesia was so bad it made Saphirra in love with him too. "Almondcrunch, Saphirra!" Mcgonagal called even though she called the others first name first again. Saphirra stood up, straightening her cape. "Because Saphirra is so beautiful, it would be a shame for her to wear such a dingy ugly stinkhat" McGonagall threw the sorting hat out the window with a look of disgust, she promptly wiped her hands off on Snape's robes, Snape made an ugly face and tried to bite her. She was smitten. So was Hermione. Meanwhile, Dumbledore was pulling out a brand new hat! Decorated by red hearts, shining stars, lucky horseshoes, lucky-duck clovers, and beautiful bouncing-blue moons! Dumbledore cleared his throat "This hat, instead of containing the essence of the three boring boring school founders, especially SMELLtherin" Dumbledore splashed water in Snape's face and then threw the empty goblet at that "dreamboat" Malfoy, who was breaking up with the reincarnation of Tom Riddle's little sister. Far in the back, Hermione cried out in horror, either from Snape's wetness, or Malfoys concussion. "Like I said: instead of having a boring boring bunch of ooooollllddddd dead oafs to be made the kids go to our favrittist hose Gryffindor and the stupid Slytherin, we have a hat possessed by: P PUFFPANTS DIDDLY DING DANG DOOFUS! The greatester rapper on the whole earth!" As Dumbledore set the fancy new hat (that was better than the old smelly hat) down on the table, a CD player opened wide in the hat and began to RAP: The hat rap
by P puffpants diddly ding dang doofus
aired: Harry's 6th year YO WASSUP!? I'M A ROCKIN COOL HAT VOOP VOO VOO VOO VOO VOOP VOO VOO VOOP!
DONT'T WORRY BOUT PUFFY HES COOL WIT DAT ZZZ ZZZ ZZZZ ZZZ ZAP! (repeat)
THIS IS THE ROCKINIST SCHOOL OF ALL ZIPP ZZZZ ZZ ZZZZZZZ ZAPPY ZOOPY ALL! I WAS PEEPIN IN MY COOL CRIB WHEN THAT OL' FOGEY D-DORE KNOCKED ALL LOUD ON MY SHACK! SAY WHAT? (P.P.P.D.D.D.D.) SAY WHAT! (dumbledore's voice) SAY WHAT? (P.P.P.D.D.D.D.) SAY WHAT!(d-dore's voice) SO WE WAS CHILLIN, GRILLIN, CATCHIN SOME X'S ON MA BACK
SO PEEP THIS YOU F**X**** ***Q*** *** * *MM**** **J***!!! AN' I WAS CHILLIN LIKE A MANIAC WHEN D-DORE SEZ: "I GOTS A JOB FOR YOU AND I SAY "WHELL I GOTS A JOB FOR ME TOO" D-DORE THEN TAKEZ TO LAY IT ON DA LINE VOO VOOPY VOOPY VOOP ZZZZ ZZ ZZOOP!"YOUS GOTTA COME WITH ME, GET IN TA THIS HAT, YOU GOT THAT? BAM! CAUSE I'M WASTIN NO TAM!" "THERE'S THIS TWO COOL HOUZEZZZZ THAT NEED YO HELP! THE FIRST ON COOL GRYFFINDOOR AND SLYTHERIN I'S HATES!!" SO I SAYS TO DUMMY" SAY WHAT? SAY WHAT! SAY WHAT? SAY WHAT! And it goes on like that but I don't have time to finish it. Anyway.. Saphirra Almondcrunch sat nervous on the sorting stool while the SORTIN HAAAAAAT pondered its decision.
"Well, youse is realluhy kickin so I mites as well put your curly head in Gryphhindoor gots that?" Saphirra Almondcrunch who wasn't scared at all shook her girlish locks and went to sit down at the Gryffindor table. Harry was so charmed by her beautifulness, that he burst out crying. It was then that a change came over him. A nonsensical, whimsical, foolish, maybe even painful change. He grew over seven feet tall, formed huge muscles big as watermelons, got a stylish hair cut, white teeth, and a coppery tan (..And a HUGE dose of UV light). Everyone looked at him, and salivated. The author wept with self- pity, wondering whether to destroy him and end it all. Then they (Not me) suddenly seemed to see this as if he had always been this way. But several girls creeped closer to him, and clasped to his giant, repulsive muscles, leech-like, giggling. The author is so sickened that one of them turns into a centipede, and leaves.
AUTHOR GETS BORED! FINGERS GET HURT! TUNE IN LATER!!! BYE!