A/N: Hey all! I'm so sad…I didn't get too many reviews for the last chapter but thanks to all of you who reviewed! And to tk's angel, I know, I know, I'm a meanie for not posting when I had the chapter written but I always want to wait a few days until I post the next one. I'll have you know, I haven't written the sixth chapter yet…so I'm not purposefully making you suffer this time. I have finals soon so it will be a while until I write and post the sixth chapter…sorry guys…L Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this, and please please please review!! It really isn't hard to say a few words and it makes me feel much better about what I write. Flames are accepted, I can't stop you from not liking something I write, and it will help me improve…Anyway, onto the story now!
Disclaimer: Nope *sigh* I don't own it….I'm sad, it's very depressing not to have written something this amazing, but still, it's all right. Oh, and I don't own the song lyrics either…those are by um…Savage Garden I think. I love you guys! *hugs the band*
Rating: G
Pairings: R/Hr
Summary: I think that this isn't as dramatic as it probably should be L I'm sorry if it seems that way…Anyway, Ron goes to Parado to see if Hermione comes to meet him there…And you'll just have to see what happens after that…
Character: Ron, Hermione, and a new character I made up.
Chapter 5
It was five thirty and I'd been waiting at the bar for an hour. I wanted to be early so that I wouldn't miss her. Of course, an hour ahead of time may have been a little bit overboard. Still, I was comfortable here. Toby had brought me here a few times to get me into more muggle experiences. He had been the first wizard in his family so naturally he had a lot of muggle influence. It was a part of him that he didn't want to give up.
I'd been sitting at the bar for a while when the bartender said, "Do you want something to drink? A pint or some gin maybe?" I'd never had gin before but I knew it had alcohol in it so I shook my head and asked for a glass of water instead.
"I'd suggest not asking me to a bar of all places next time Ronald." I heard from behind me. I turned and was looking at Hermione. I was surprised at how short her hair was. She had put it in a ponytail earlier but let it down now. It looked really good like that. But I was staring so I looked away and beckoned her to sit down on a stool next to me.
"I haven't drank alcohol since, well," I stopped. It felt so strange not being able to say things to her anymore.
"I know what you mean." Was all she said to me. I got my water and took a small sip from it as an awkward silence came over us. She ordered a virgin drink I'd never heard of before. I suppose she wasn't very fond of alcohol either.
All of a sudden Hermione turned toward me, that annoyed looking her eyes (I finally got the courage to look there for more than a second) "Why did you ask me here Ron? I could be doing other things you know?"
"I thought I'd ask you for your view on the engagement. And, besides that, I thought it would be good to talk, about everything."
"Ok then. I'd say it's safer to do the interview first."
"Well, um, ok. How did you meet, er, the second time?"
"I'm working at the Ministry now. They added a new department called Mistreatment of Magical Creatures. Naturally I wanted to work there because-"
"Spew." I said quietly, smiling.
"It's S.P.E.W. Ron." She told me, though it came out less forceful than it had back in fourth year. It was almost like it hurt her to joke around with me anymore…not that the fact was a surprise to me after what I did to her.
"I'm sorry. I interrupted you, go ahead."
"Like I was saying, I worked in the Mistreatment of Magical Creatures Department and Viktor was brought in one day. It wasn't a house elf he had been supposedly mistreating. They said his owl had been hurt and he had forced it to send a letter. To make this a bit shorter, what happened was I found out that a few of his friends had borrowed the owl. They were the ones who abused it. Viktor wanted to take me out to dinner to thank me. We got along pretty well so he asked me to attend some of his practices. We spent more time together until he asked me to marry him. It was a pretty simple way that he asked. Nothing amazing but it was sweet never the less." She stopped and bit her lip before taking a sip of her drink.
"So when did he first tell you that he loved you?" I asked casually. They had only gone out for five months and she thought he was the one who she wanted to spend the rest of her life with? The idea of it was burning me up inside.
"I don't see how that's any of your business Ron."
"I was just wondering. I'm sorry if it's a question that bothers you but shouldn't it be a good thing that you like talking about?" I'd gotten her there. She couldn't deny that it was a good ting. But she obviously didn't want to tell me the answer.
"Well, yes of course but it's simply non of your business." She told me stubbornly, "Besides, Viktor doesn't need to tell me in words that he loves me."
"He hasn't told you that he loves you? And you're marrying him?" I asked in shock.
"I've already told you, it's none of your business but no. He hasn't told me in those exact words."
"But…why would you…never mind. It's rude of me to ask. I'll just leave it at that." The silence that followed my statement was tense and I could tell Hermione was angry but neither of us said anything.
"You know what Ronald Weasley? You never told me that you loved me either so don't you dare say Viktor's a bad person and that he isn't right for me because you don't know what true love is." That comment made me really look at her. Hermione wasn't the type of person who got married on a whim. The whole time I was thinking of excuses for how she might have gotten herself into the relationship with Viktor with out meaning to. Could it be that she really loved him?
And what further saddened me by her words was the fact that she thought I truly didn't know what love was in the first place. Imagine me, not knowing what true love was. That was totally off the wall, and I was not about to let her hit me with that without putting up a fight first.
"I know perfectly well what true love is!"
"Oh? Enlighten me Ron!"
People around us were beginning to stare but after so many years of that happening, I was fairly used to it, and I was far too angry to care. "Love is passionate. Love isn't just something you say to anyone. It's a power over you that gives you hope when you feel like you're at the end. It makes you want to do things you never imagined you could do. When you love someone you'd do anything to keep them as close to you as possible and," my voice faltered for a second and my tone grew softer, "and if you do something terrible to them, something awful, you never let yourself live it down. You keep reliving the mistake. You wish with all your being that it had never happened because it ruined the best thing that you ever had and now you'll never be able to get that back…I highly doubt that's what Viktor has for you. He doesn't have passion. He'll make you his trophy wife but it seems you're happy so I won't judge you. It is your life after all."
Hermione wasn't looking at me anymore. Her gaze was set straight ahead of her. Even from my angle I could see her eyes fill with tears. I didn't know which part of my speech had made her cry but I felt a knot of guilt form in my chest. I had an amazing talent at making girls cry.
She wiped her eyes hastily and took a sip of her drink.
"Maybe we should talk again later Ron." Her voice was thick and my urge to comfort her grew stronger. I missed her. Merlin I missed her. She was sitting right next to me but it wasn't really her. She was detached and removed. She didn't put any emotion out now. It was terrible how I could be so close to her yet I could feel so utterly far away. I had to say something to make her stay. I couldn't bare to see her leave now.
"I'm sorry Hermione. I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I'm sure, well, I'm sure that Viktor," I forced the next line, not truly believing it, "I'm sure he loves you very much. I shouldn't say anything about your life. I'm not worthy of it…and you know that. What I did to you, everything I did…it was all a lot of awful things and if I were you I'd not forgive myself either. I understand that but please, let me try to at least make our business relationship together a civil one. Let me make it up to you."
Before she could respond, a voice rose from somewhere at the stage and announced that the dj would be taking requests. Then, they informed everyone there that there would be karaoke in an hour and a half.
For some strange reason, I found myself really wanting to do the karaoke. Maybe it was the need to make everything up to her by embarrassing myself in front of everyone. Or maybe I just wanted to do it because I'd seen other people do it when I was in the bar. If you don't mind singing then it really isn't too bad. Of course, Ron Weasley's singing…well, considering I've never sang in front of other people…I don't know how bad I am, but I've always fancied myself an ok singer. I'm not amazing at it but all the same-
"Ron, are you even listening to what I'm saying?" Hermione's voice cut into my thoughts and my gaze snapped back to her. "Now, like I said before, I'll stay, but only if you stop saying rude remarks about my fiancé. It isn't fair to him. He isn't here to defend himself."
I really wanted to snap back that she was here and if she loved him so damn much she should defend him herself but that would just have made her angrier. Instead, I nodded and Hermione finished her drink. After I had paid for the drinks, we turned and watched the others dance.
It made me pretty angry actually, watching them all dance, having a good time, even if a lot of them weren't dancing too close. After all, it just made the fact that everyone else had someone and I was completely alone more obvious.
I didn't care if she was Viktor's fiancé or not. I was bored (and clearly Hermione was getting that way too) and if I didn't do something soon I'd go insane. Or maybe I'd just go to sleep. But all the same, what I really wanted to do was dance.
I wasn't sure if Hermione would want to dance with me, and I wasn't sure how Viktor reacted to things like that. I am her ex-boy friend…I hadn't thought of it like that before. It's very disheartening, but either way, there were too many unknowns and boundaries I had to cross if I wanted to ask her to dance. Even as one friend asking another, it would have been complicated.
Knowing all this I said, "Excuse me for a minute." And I headed toward the restroom. I didn't want her to think I was rude by not asking her first, so if I did find someone who wanted to dance with me, the plan was to just pretend they'd began talking to me after I left the bathroom.
I'm really not conceited, I'm just used to it happening. That's why I wasn't surprised (I'd almost expected it) when a girl who had the same look as Lavender came up and said hello. Maybe it was because I'm tall, or the fact that they can notice me better by my red hear, but I've found that there are a lot of girls who've come up to me in the bar lately.
I said hello to her and tried to step back a little so that I wouldn't be able to see anything I shouldn't be seeing (Heck, I'm tall and she wasn't exactly covered up)
"So, you're here alone? What a shame. I'm sure you can get any girl to dance with you. I'm surprised I found you by yourself." She said as she smiled at me and pulled at a curl.
Why did girls have to do this kind of stuff? I would much rather talk to a girl who could keep up a conversation. This whole act that she was putting on, well, it just didn't attract me in the smallest bit. Maybe when I was an (idiotic) fourteen year old, I would have jumped at the chance to do whatever this girl wanted, but now, someone who was pretty and made themselves look like they were easy just didn't catch a glance from me anymore.
"Actually, I'm here with my friend. Maybe I should be getting back to her." I said. She was pretty annoying but she was still a person and being rejected still hurt so I was trying to make it as painless as possible.
She didn't look fazed at all and said that if my friend ever left I could go and find her. Then I turned around again and began walking back. But almost as soon as I had taken two steps I found myself sitting on the floor.
I'd run right into someone. She was tall (or at least looked it from where she was sitting on the floor) with black hair and glasses. Somehow she didn't fit in with the other girls here. Perhaps it was because she wasn't wearing something two sizes too small, and she wasn't acting fake around me. Whatever it was, it made her very noticeable, to me at least.
Getting up quickly she grabbed the purse that had fallen to the floor and helped me up. Behind her I could see Hermione watching with quite a lot of interest, but I tried to ignore that fact.
"I'm sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going. Are you all right?" She asked, giving me a truthful look of concern.
"Yeah, I'm great. You didn't hurt me. I fall on my ass all the time. I think I'm used to it now."
She smiled, "My name's Rebecca."
"I'm Ron. It's nice to meet you. Are you up for some dancing? I've been wanting to for a while."
"Sure." She said and we retraced my steps until we were somewhere in the center of a large group of people who were all dancing a heck of a lot better than I ever could. However, I was the one who had asked her to dance with me in the first place, so I might as well try it. I'm sure she wouldn't care if I was awful at dancing.
We danced for a while and I got her a drink (though she told me she'd much rather pay for it herself). We were sitting at a table now, and just talking about the strangest things. I could see her being a very good friend to me. It felt comfortable sitting and having a good time just talking to someone. I hadn't done that (if you don't count Toby) for quite a while and it felt nice to do it again.
Then I began feeling guilty. Rebecca was a great person, and I could tell she'd be an amazing person to hang out with, but until I got over Hermione, I wouldn't be able to truly care about anyone else. Rebecca didn't deserve that. I just didn't want to make her think that I had been leading her on to believe that I was interested in well, having a more serious relationship with her. The only person I could ever truly see myself with, for the rest of my life, is Hermione.
"You know Ron, this is really fun. I don't think I've laughed this much in a long time." She told me. I made up my mind, I had to say something to her about Hermione.
"Yeah, neither have I." I told her, though I sounded less enthusiastic than I should have been. "Listen Rebecca, you're a lot of fun to talk to but I have to be honest. I'm well, it's kind of complicated but…do you see that girl over there? At the bar?" I said, motioning to where Hermione sat alone watching the dancers and tapping her feet to the music.
"Yes, I do."
"Well, you see, I'm in love with her." The words hung in the air and Rebecca smiled. Whatever I had been expecting, it wasn't anywhere close to that.
"Oh, you were worried I'd be hurt Ron?" I nodded, I was very confused. "I saw you two sitting together before. I'd already known you were in love with her before I even talked to you."
"You did? So, you don't think I was like, leading you on or anything? I didn't hurt your feelings?"
"No, of course not. Ron, true love is hard to miss. It's like an energy force. You can feel it radiating off someone. Only yours is different. You looked truly awful sitting with her."
"Oh thanks a lot." I replied sarcastically.
"Let me finish. You see, when most people are in love, they look constantly happy. With you, well, you look as if the end of the world is coming."
"That sort of happens to you when the girl you're in love with is going to marry someone else who isn't right for her."
"Have you told her you love her?"
"It's not that easy. I mean, we used to be together, and then I did something stupid and we broke up. We had been together for only five months. Then she met up with Viktor and in four months he asks her to marry him. How can you fall in love with someone in four months, so much that you know they're the one for you?"
"You did it in five." She said plainly.
"No, no that's different. You see, even though I only dated her for five months, I had known her since I was eleven and I've had six years to fall in love with her. I mean, it didn't take me more than a year, but I still had all that extra time."
"Ok, well, I believe that Viktor doesn't love Hermione. After all, Krum doesn't love much but Quidditch. Still-"
"How did you-"
"Not many of our kind can go through life with out watching some Quidditch Ron. I went to Salem School of Sorcery, and transferred to Hogwarts for my sixth and seventh year. But let me finish. Even if he obviously doesn't love her as much as you do, that doesn't mean Hermione doesn't love him. We could argue all day about who loves her more but the only person who knows what's right for Hermione, is Hermione."
I nodded. Of course Rebecca was right. I couldn't argue she wasn't if my life depended on it. But the fact that it wouldn't be easy to tell what was going to happen in my future was annoying and it made me pretty angry.
"Introduce me to her. I think she's rather jealous of me now that I've been monopolizing your time. The last thing you want to do is make her think you don't care about her as much as Viktor.
She finished her drink and we went to the bar. Hermione pretended not to see me as I sat down next to her, and Rebecca stood awkwardly next to me.
"Hey, I'm sorry 'Mione. We just kind of, bumped into each other. I would have come back but I didn't want to be rude to her…This is Rebecca."
Hermione turned and regarded Rebecca with a stern glare. "It's nice to meet you. My name is Hermione, if Ron had not previously told you."
"Yes, he told me. It's great to meet you too Hermione." She looked down at the watch on her hand. "It's getting a bit late, so I'll have to get going. Thanks for the dance Ron, and feel free to send me an owl sometime. I hope we get to meet up again sometime Hermione." With that, she left the bar.
"Hey, 'Mione, you all right?"
"I am perfectly fine, but will you stop calling me that?"
My heart dropped. She wanted me to stop calling her 'Mione? But I'd called her that for almost a year now. And I'd thought of her like that for almost the whole time I'd known her. Well, really only about four and a half years, but still, that was a long time. It would be difficult to stop calling her that.
"All right. I'm sorry Hermione. Would you like to dance?"
"Shouldn't you be bumping into someone else for that?" She asked coldly.
"I could, but I'd much rather dance with you." Why did girls have to be so damn confusing? She's dating someone else yet she's getting mad at me for dancing with other people. She can't possibly still care about me because she's defending Viktor and saying she's in love with him. Sometimes I just wish I had a dictionary of girl behavior so I'd be able to know what the heck they meant.
She gave me a glance at what I'd said but turned away and opened her mouth to say something.
"Time for karaoke guys and gals." The announcer at the front of the room interrupted. "Lets get some brave volunteers up here!" I didn't go up when the call was made for volunteers. I was far from chickening out, but I wanted more people to leave before I embarrassed myself.
"I'm going to sing a song Hermione." She laughed.
"I'd like to see that…you, sing? I don't think I've ever heard those two words in the same sentence before Ronald Weasley. You never joined in at the caroling during school."
"Well, I knew people there." She laughed again. "What's so wrong about me singing Miss Granger?" I asked in a mocking voice.
"Well, nothing I guess. I just can't imagine you singing, that's all. I won't stop you from singing if you really want to. My only request is that you sing a song that means something to you. Don't just do any random song."
So while we sat at the bar (she still refused to let me dance with her) I thought about what song I would perform for her. It had to mean something to me. Well, that could prove to be truly hard. Then I remembered a song I had heard played here last week. It was a muggle song. I forget who it's sung by but when I heard it, I just thought of her instantly. Of course, it's a pretty sad song, but it truly meant a lot to me, and that's the kind of song Hermione wanted me to sing.
Getting up with Hermione watching me curiously, I went to the dj. Someone else was singing a fast song, and they were pretty bad but everyone was dancing still.
"What can I do for you?" The dj asked when I'd reached him.
"I'd like to sing a song." I told him.
"Which one?"
"I'm not really sure, but, I'm guessing that the title is 'The Lover After Me'. I've only heard it once, so I'm not positive."
"No, you're right. I know which one you're talking about. You can go after this guy finishes, and let's hope that's soon." He added as the current singer went out of tune, again. "Oh, and the words will be right in front of you if you need them."
I thanked him and stood to wait my turn. My heart sped up. I was really nervous. I was going to tell her, in a song, how I felt about Viktor and her. I don't think she hates me anymore but she'll never be able to forget what I did to her. Maybe, if I gave her a reason, she'd forgive me. Maybe she'll realize that I love her more than anything, and that Viktor really can't do as much for her as I can.
"Your turn." Someone behind me said. I gulped and stepped on stage, shaking and hoping something good would come out of this.
The music began to play and the words formed on a screen in front of me, like the dj had said they would. I focused on getting them right, and on actually singing my best. Something came over me, and immense amount of bravery and I began to sing.
Here I go again, I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today.
It's been seven months and counting
You moved on
I still feel exactly the same.
It's just that everywhere I go all the buildings know your name
Like photographs and memories of love
Steel and granite reminders
The city calls your name and I can't move on.
Somewhere during the song I noticed people dancing and chanced a glance at Hermione while the musical part played. She looked dazed but other than that I couldn't see any other emotion coming through. The words began scrolling again.
Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
Only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
To the lover after me
Am I all alone in the universe?
There's no love on these streets
I have given mine away to a world that didn't want it anyway
So this is new freedom
It's funny
I don't remember being chained
But nothing seems to make sense anymore
Without you I'm twenty minutes late.
It was funny how much the words reminded me of myself. It truly did mean a lot to me, and I was dearly hoping that Hermione was getting the message. I'd felt completely alone with out her, and even when I knew she was going to marry Viktor, just being with her made me feel whole again. It was like she was medicine for my pain. I just wished I could do something to show her how much I'd changed.
Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
Only difference is
You call a different name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
The lover after me
No one seemed to be cringing while I sang. Maybe I was doing all right. I looked at Hermione again and saw that she was dabbing at her eyes. I couldn't possibly have made her cry again. My voice faltered a little as I started singing the last part, realizing that I very easily could have made her cry.
And time goes by slowly
The lights are cold and lonely
I shouldn't be holding on for you
Here I go again
I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today
But I'm standing at your doorway
I'm calling out your name because I can't move on
Ever since you've been gone
The lights go out the same
The only difference is
You call another name
To your love
To your lover now
To your love
To the lover after me
I stood an marveled at the fact that I'd done it, before I heard applause, for me, actual applause, and even a few whistles here or there. I beamed, bowed, and left the stage, heading for Hermione. She was trying not to look at me. I sat down beside her but she still hadn't said anything.
"Aw, 'Mione, er I mean, Hermione, I really wasn't that bad was I? So bad that you can't even look at me?"
She still refused to turn her head toward me but she said, "No, that's not it. You were amazing Ron. But I think I just have to, I-I have to be right back." Before I could say anything else she had hopped from the stool and rushed away, sniffling loudly.
Whatever I'd done this time I truly didn't know but I was sure that it had hurt Hermione or she wouldn't have run off so quickly. Maybe it would be a good idea if I took her home now. We had talked earlier so I'd accomplished (though it felt incomplete) what I'd set out to do. I had her number written down somewhere at home, so I could always call her. And if all else failed, I could send her post by owl.
After a few minutes I decided I should find her. She was sitting in the hallway next to the restrooms, her knees pulled up to her chin with her arms hugging her knees slightly. It looked like the position I'd found her in during fourth year after Harry had come out of the maze. I knew something was wrong. I sat next to her but didn't say anything for a few minutes.
My eagerness to know took over my mind and the words spilled out of my mouth before I could stop them. "Why did you say yes Hermione? You're only seventeen. You shouldn't be thinking about marriage for at least another four years." I told her, though once I said it, I found it sounded lame and even worse, very desperate.
"Ron, I'm a big girl now. I don't need you protecting me."
"But I just don't want to see you get hurt. Viktor's older, so he should know that you aren't ready for marriage, especially after only four months."
"He doesn't tell me what to do. He knows I'm old enough to make my own decisions. You should too Ron. It's my life. Let me live it the way I want to."
"I know it is but if Viktor really does love you, he should let you wait, get older, so you're more able o tell where you're going to want to be in life."
"Viktor does love me, and the only reason he doesn't give me up is because he loves me too much to do so. He knows he could wait but he wants to…we, we both want to do this."
"Hermione, if you start a family at eighteen years old, you won't get the same job opportunities you might have gotten with out a child! Think about what you're doing."
"I don't need your advice or your criticism. My decisions are mine to make and if I screw up my life then at least I did it my way! I have to go. Goodbye Ron."
"Hermione wait," I said, catching her wrist as she got up.
"Leave me alone Ron. I want to leave."
"Please, just let me talk to you."
"I think we've talked enough. Good night." She said, yanking free of my grasp. I didn't try to go after her. In a second, Hermione had disappeared and I was alone again.
A/N: Sorry about that…I suppose it's not too much of a cliffhanger…I was going to do something really evil but I decided to make that for a different chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it and I'm sorry, but like I said (perhaps you didn't read the top a/n) the 6th might not be out for a while…now that I have finals to study for…Hope you all are doing well, remember to review…those lil notes brighten my day!!! Oh, and here's some shout outs for you guys! Thanks to all!
Inspector-Javert- Awww, I'm sorry I made it so sad but I guess I'm glad that you liked it so much!! Anyway, thank you for reading! And telling me that you like it, even though, yes, Viktor is an ass…Well, more angst to come! And again, thanks for reviewing!
wm_law- Lol, I loved your review…It sounded all mean first and then it was like, "Looking forward to more!" all cheerfully! Lol! Well thank you! Thanks for wanting to read more! I feel so loved! Anyway, I hope you like this chapter!
death the second endless- I'm so glad you liked the accent. I was worried that it didn't sound right. Anyway, thanks for reading! It pleases me so much!!
TK's Angel-Is this a cliffhanger too? I hope it proves not to be. And, I know, I know, I did have the story written, but I had to type it and…man, I'm a busy girl! Lol, at least I have it up now. Anyway, thanks for reading it! You're always so kind in your reviews! Please read still, I hope these are up to your standards!
AngelwingS- Awww! You're so nice! It really makes me feel great to get a review like that! Anyway, I'm so glad you like it! I hope that this is great too! I guess it isn't very angsty….maybe less than it should be, but I hope it's still good enough for a nice review? Thanks for the other reviews you kind thing you!!
For everyone who so kindly reviewed my third chapter, I love you guys! You deserve all the praise and thanx I have, but the thing is…I really want to post this chapter, so I can't write to you L Review and I'll make sure I do next time!
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