A/N: Can you BELIEVE it?!?! I am writing the next chapter of Bitter Tears! It's been ages and ages. Most of you have probably given up on me now! I'm so sorry! But I wrote the next chapter. I've been so busy what with Jason (my boy friend) wanting to see me (how dare he eh? ;-) lol j/k) and AP classes and all the other stuff…it's been hectic! This chapter's turn was a little surprising. I hadn't planed for it to turn out this way (This is by far not the end) yet I like what I did. I hope you guys will read this and enjoy it. Please read it please?! Thank you so much for all your continuing support and go Adnap for finishing woot!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my sad little computer…wait, that's not even mine! It's my parents'! Ah! I have nothing L *sniff*

Rating: G

Pairings: R/Hr and mentions of H/G

Summary: Ron has a breakdown and bad stuff happens. Just read it lol. It's hard to explain with out giving it away. BTW, if you forgot, it's all in Ron's P.O.V.

Characters: Ron, Toby, Rebecca, Hermione.

Chapter 7

Hermione smiled up at me from her position on the blanket. I loved spending time with her like this. It felt like such a long time since I had a chance to. She laughed at something I had said. I smiled down at her and leaned in to kiss her. It felt like heaven to have her lips against mine again. I opened my eyes again after pulling away and I fell back onto my elbows. Her eyes had filled with hate. She was glaring at me. What did I do wrong now?

Her expression changed as she looked at something over my shoulder. Viktor. He was standing tall and brooding behind me. He looked just like he had when he took Hermione away from me the first time in my life, in fourth year. His eyebrows were bushy and he looked fairly ugly again. However, Hermione did not seem to mind. She pushed my hand away as I tried to keep her with me. She was still glaring at me before she turned to walk, hand in hand with Viktor; as if he truly was the one she had fallen in love with. How could she see herself with him? How could she not realize that I loved her more than he did? How could she not see that he would never love her like I loved her?

I was alone again, as I had been and would continue to be for the rest of my life. I was always alone. I could feel the tears filling my eyes and the bitter feeling of rejection in my heart.

Then I woke up, a cold sweat covering my body. I sat up in bed and covered my eyes with my hands. Tomorrow was my eighteenth birthday, yet I felt no excitement toward the day. It was just another lonely day in a life of lonely days. I had not seen Hermione since the day at her flat. Three long weeks of not seeing her were killing me.

My work was going well. The article about Hermione's new relationship went over well with our readers, though I had not gotten the couple's reaction to it.

Toby had promised me a lively eighteenth birthday party, yet I asked him to let me have a day in peace. Somehow I knew this birthday would not be the same as it had for the last seven years. It would be the first birthday I spent with out Hermione. My guilt about kissing her and messing up our relationship in the first place gripped my heart tightly again. This pain had to get better some time. I could not be hurting for the rest of my life. I just had to make myself realize that Hermione and I were never meant to be together. If we were, something would have happened by now.

The days passed on in a haze. I worked, ate, and slept. I neither heard nor cared what was going on around me. The fact that I would be the only one in my family to never have anyone of their own tore me apart. Even Gin had someone. Harry had come to me to talk about their relationship. I was glad. I trust Harry. It didn't bother me and I had too much to deal with to put up much of a fight either way. Still, it made me sad to know that I was the only Weasley not connected to someone on that personal of a level.

Every one of my siblings had a special someone in their lives that made everything ok. My chance at happiness was ten months down the drain. She was dating a famous Quidditch player. I had nothing compared to him. Damn Krum.

My work started to falter and Toby told me to stop coming in so often. He expected me to take a break for a while. He wanted me to take a vacation. I wouldn't listen though. Working at the paper was the only thing that was keeping me alive.

"Morning Ron. What are you doing here so early?" I jumped when Toby greeted me. I was very jittery after being awake so long. My eyes were burning and I was struggling to stay awake. The truth was, I had offered to stay late and lock up for Toby. However, I had stayed up all night. I slept a few hours but only those few before I woke again and started working. The moments I slept were full of dreams about Hermione. That was why I kept working. It was the only time that I can concentrate on everything but her. Besides, there was a lot of research to be done for next week's article. Toby gave me time to do it but I needed to keep myself busy now that I was always trying so hard not to think of Hermione.

"Morning Toby," I mumbled, not looking up. I had to keep working.

"Ron," Toby stopped and looked at me. He must have seen a pretty pathetic sight because he looked anxiously at me. I had not looked into a mirror since…I can't even remember.

"Ron, did you ever go home?" Toby asked suspiciously. I must look worse than terrible. Toby looked at me as if I was dying.

"Of course I went home. I just came bright and early to get started on this." I waved the research at him. He barely nodded, plopping down his bag and sitting in the seat across from my desk.

"I'm worried about you. I know you didn't go home. If you were going to try lying, you could at least have changed the clothes you were wearing so I wouldn't notice. Ron…take the day off, go home and sleep! You need to stop working."

The truth was, this was not the first day I had done this in the past week. Toby had let me close up the last four days. I slept two hours before getting up and working each day. I was beyond feeling tired. I no longer felt anything, which was the way I wanted to keep things. I no longer felt guilty and sad. I no longer missed Hermione. I was too tired to let things like that affect me. All I knew was that I had to stay up. I had to keep working.

"No Toby. I can't! I'm almost done. I'll leave when I finish these." I told him, motioning to a stack of papers at least a foot high, sitting on my desk.

"Go home Ron."

He was really annoying me now. I was almost done. I could have gotten three more pages edited in the time he had spent lecturing me. He should have just started on his own work and left me alone.

"Toby stop. Let me do my work the way I want it done. I never tell you how to do your job." He sighed but said nothing. "I'll be right back." I stood up. My body ached. It pleaded for me to give it sleep. But I am not weak. I would never give into my exhaustion, even if it killed me. I could do this. I had to prove I could do this sort of thing. They need dedicated workers at the Prophet. I wanted to be one of those.

I pushed my chair back with all my strength. My eyes burned. I kept rubbing them to keep them open. Toby knew I wasn't ok even before I did. I stumbled out of the office and walked down the hall.

"Oh, good morning Ron!" A cheery voice said from behind me. It was Rebecca. She took one look at me and her face fell.

"Don't say anything about how I look. I don't care what you think. I'm not going home," I said fiercely before she could comment.

"But Ron-"

"No."

I walked past her, angry at myself for being rude. The feeling didn't last long though. All I had in my mind was, getting to a mirror so I could see how bad I really was and try to cover it up with a recovery charm.

I reached the bathroom and had to throw myself against the door to make it open. I felt weak. My head was spinning. I stumbled to the mirror and supported my weight on the sink.

I really did look bad. My eyes were red and sore. They were still burning from keeping myself awake for so long. I closed my eyes. It felt better that way. I could just sleep, for ten minutes, and I'd have all the energy I need. But I still had work. I would go home tonight and sleep for a while. As soon as I got through today, everything would be fine. I would be able to rest for a while.

I pushed the handle of the faucet. I heard, my eyes still closed, the cold water splash into the basin. It felt so good against my eyes, yet the feeling lasted only a second. My eyes forced themselves open again. The burning came back and I found myself more exhausted than ever.

I pushed myself off the sink and headed back to the door. I had to keep working, to keep my mind off of Hermione.

I remember stumbling and falling. Everything after the fall I cannot remember. I felt a moment of pain until everything was utterly and peacefully dark. I could finally sleep.

I opened my eyes to a room I did not recognize at first. Then I realized I had been here just the year before. This was Saint Mungos. I was in the hospital.

There were cards, flowers, and balloons around my bed…more than I got for all seven years of staying in the hospital wing combined. However, I had no visitors. Balloons and cards were one thing, but nothing could beat seeing a friendly face, and right then I had none.

What had happened to me? The last time I was awake I had been in the Prophet's bathroom. How did I end up here?

Just as these thoughts entered my mind, a tall kindly looking nurse appeared with an exoskelescan. I had seen them before, when Charlie was brought here last year. He had taken part in the war against Voldemort and had taken many beatings. It was a lifesaver for him. If the exoskelescan had not been there, we would never have known about the cracks in his ribs.

"Oh! Mr. Weasley, you're awake!" She squeaked, realizing I had been watching her. "I'm sure your family would like to know but I am going to scan you first if you don't mind." I shook my head, telling her I didn't care either way, and she told me to close my eyes. I did and felt the slight tingle of the exoskelescan hovering over my head. The nurse sighed in relief and let me open my eyes again.

"You are looking much better. You have been sleeping for the last five days. You had a bit of trouble there right after your fall. It gave you a concussion. We really thought you were going to be in a coma for a while there. Your skull had cracked. You pulled through though. You're much healthier now. I think we shall have you out of here before long." With a smile and after pleading with me to rest, the nurse left my room.

The nurse was right. I did feel healthier yet it was difficult to feel fully healed when I found myself yawning. I wanted to see my family yet my eyes were beginning to droop again.

As my eyes closed, I heard the sound of someone walking to me. It sounded hesitant and quiet yet there was definitely a visitor for me. I kept my eyes closed. Something inside of me told me not to disturb them.

The springs creaked noisily as my visitor sad down on the edge of the mattress.

"Ron…" I almost jumped when I heard the whisper. It was Hermione. She had come to see me. "Ron…I'm so sorry." Her voice was choked. She hesitated. "I tried to come when I heard what happened. I tried so hard to get to you. You know I would never leave you like this with out visiting you. I would have come earlier. There were just…things that held me back." she sounded guilty. I wanted to hug her and tell her I loved her and that I would not mind at all if she could just love me. Just hold me or hug me. "Oh, what's the use in lying to you? You are my best friend Ron. It wasn't just something I had to do that kept me from seeing you." I heard her sniffle and I prayed she wasn't crying.

"I know that you won't believe me, but I missed you dearly." I had known her for long enough to know when she meant what she said. A lump formed in my throat. She was so close yet we were miles apart. I would have done anything to hold her. I would have given my life just to have her in my arms once more.

"The reason I couldn't come was because…well, Viktor had some interviews planned that we needed to attend. There were events we needed to be seen at. I asked him if I could see you, if I could skip it for jest an hour so that I could come and be with you, but he said that we could not miss them. I guess he cares more about those than about what I feel. I should have just left with out his permission. I'm not a child. It's just…something holds me back. I guess I've gotten used to it. I've learned to accept things like this from him. But I can't keep doing that to myself. I have to be stronger." She was most definitely crying now.

"Ron…I left the flat last night. I'm living with my parents right now." She sighed and I felt her hand edge along the covers to take mine. "You were right Ron…He isn't the right one for me. You were right and now I fear I have lost the one person in my life who ever truly mattered to me. I was hurt when I began dating him again. I needed someone to make me stop feeling so lonely. You really hurt me Ron. I really…you meant so much to me. You broke my heart…I need you in my life…I wish you could hear this. I'm sorry. I have to go. I'll visit you again." She let go of my hand and I felt her kiss my forehead. My heart was breaking and filling with home simultaneously.

I don't now why I let her go that day. I should have squeezed her hand, opened my eyes, and done something spectacular. But I didn't. I let her leave after giving me a hug. I let her walk right out of that room.

When she left I opened my eyes and wept into my hands.

That was the last time I would ever let her walk out of my life. I would find her and tell her how I felt as soon as I could get out of bed again. I would not lose her once more.

A/N: So that's it. I'm assuming there will be only one more chapter, maybe two, till the end, but you never know with me do you? I promise I'll try to write more often but I'm kind of stuck when it comes to time. Anyway, I'll try my hardest.

Love always and please review!

~Addy