A/N: That's Right! After months of hiding, right when I had almost forgot
about the treacheries of bad fanfictions, the disgrace they bring to the
literate, the shame they bring to lovers of books...I came back. The fight
was not won. The fifth book came, and stirred the hearts of half-baked
writers, inspiring them to spoil something perfectly good even MORE. I
hadn't thought it possible. The damage is done, the war goes on. May my wit
teach you a lesson. Oh yeah, not only do none of the Harry Potter
characters, I don't own the "Gilligan's Island" characters. Did you think I
did?
CHAPTER THE SIXTH: Yet Another Step Too Dratted Far.
Dumbledore explained to the cast of "Gilligan's Island" that they were going to attend Hogwarts for an undetermined period of time, maybe to fulfil some prophecy. The little group of adults was disappointed that they weren't really saved (They were reassured they'd be returned to the island soon, with their memories erased. But then someone dropped a coin, and everyone bent down to get it at once. Their heads conked together, and they happily accepted their acceptance into Hogwarts. Even Skipper. They were all sorted into Gryffindor, by the hat who was still upset about falling over, and through the stream of swear words McGonagall decided Gryffindor was as good a guess as any. Gilligan tripped over six chairs, dropped a pile of dishes on Snape (Hey! How'd he get there? What plates?), and broke the professor's coconut radio in the way out. Meanwhile, Ginny fluttered her eyes open. "What.happened.to.. ..me?..where..is..Harry?..what?...who?...how?..ohhh, my head." The last thing she remembered was one of her weepy little tears, like a liquid diamond, flying, surely, lovingly, towards the potion..that's right, the potion! Then what?! Then what?! Whoa, hold your horses! We're getting to that. Anyway, a shower of violet sparks and crazy-berries flew out, forming an all-new fruity flavour! Crazzleberry-Stripe! With new color-changing, glow in the dark wacky-sprinkles! Gee! There was also thick smoke. There was smoke so that there would be something to clear when Ginny woke up. She brushed off the bits of cereal and stumbled towards a mirror for some reason. She looked in it, and gasped. That wasn't HER looking back at herself! It was..um..(flips randomly through book).um...Justin! Justin Finch-Fletchley! She swooned. She was enamoured! She really hadn't known him, but she had seen him once or twice. Maybe Harry was only a foolish idea, to bury her feelings for Justin! Of course, she didn't know what the name of the boy was. But she liked the face! So she gazed at it for many long minutes, curling his curly curls, loving the way his nose wasn't perkily turned up. Finally, she stood up, and walked away from her dresser. Then she realized something. Only their bodies were switched. This led her to three mental concepts. "Wheres' is MY pretty body?" was the first one, the second was, "My, I'm's a bit tall for this little skirts!" and the third was, "He's are got nice legs!" Man, is she dumb. The atmosphere of fanfictions make you stupid. So where WAS her body? Let's see.. Justin had been having a good day. He had finished his homework, and was sitting with his friends, practicing hexes and such on each other. Suddenly, his friend put a "Lilliputionatus!" curse on him. As the words left his unnamed friend's mouth, a shower of cereal burst from no-where, and they all got scared and ran away, leaving Justin. He was temporarily knocked out. But not for long!
Elsewhere, Luscious Malfoy, (No, not a typo. There are many fanfic authors who spell it that way.), Lucius Malfoy's clone, and Lucius was sick, so he took over the job of being Draco's father, was on his way to Hogwarts. He wanted to be sure to keep any electric-grand-piano-playing from going on. He was surrounded by a malicious haze of self-pride and egotism, accented by his pompous mask, that he used to hide his deep sorrow, but he was also mean, but he was too haughty and rich too not allow no meaness to be happening to his only son, who was so much like himself that Luscious wanted him to act the same, maybe even change the name, the ancient name of his OWN father, that old bat, Draco, but he wouldn't haunt him still, no, Luscious would turn Draco into an evil version of his grandfather, that grandfather who turned Luscious into an evil version of himself; bitter tears almost flow from his stony eyes, as he sneered, ready to make sure Draco would succeed...and never EVER follow his dreams. What a sentence. What does it even mean? The tenses! Where did they go?!
A/N: How awful. You read it, didn't you? Sorry. I had to work my hardest at re-creating the horrors of fanfictions, and I think I succeeded. Look forward to my next chapter, which may come next week or next year, fighting against the wretched "Order of the Phoenix" fanfics. Till then, I will smash my computer to bits. Toodle-Ooo!
CHAPTER THE SIXTH: Yet Another Step Too Dratted Far.
Dumbledore explained to the cast of "Gilligan's Island" that they were going to attend Hogwarts for an undetermined period of time, maybe to fulfil some prophecy. The little group of adults was disappointed that they weren't really saved (They were reassured they'd be returned to the island soon, with their memories erased. But then someone dropped a coin, and everyone bent down to get it at once. Their heads conked together, and they happily accepted their acceptance into Hogwarts. Even Skipper. They were all sorted into Gryffindor, by the hat who was still upset about falling over, and through the stream of swear words McGonagall decided Gryffindor was as good a guess as any. Gilligan tripped over six chairs, dropped a pile of dishes on Snape (Hey! How'd he get there? What plates?), and broke the professor's coconut radio in the way out. Meanwhile, Ginny fluttered her eyes open. "What.happened.to.. ..me?..where..is..Harry?..what?...who?...how?..ohhh, my head." The last thing she remembered was one of her weepy little tears, like a liquid diamond, flying, surely, lovingly, towards the potion..that's right, the potion! Then what?! Then what?! Whoa, hold your horses! We're getting to that. Anyway, a shower of violet sparks and crazy-berries flew out, forming an all-new fruity flavour! Crazzleberry-Stripe! With new color-changing, glow in the dark wacky-sprinkles! Gee! There was also thick smoke. There was smoke so that there would be something to clear when Ginny woke up. She brushed off the bits of cereal and stumbled towards a mirror for some reason. She looked in it, and gasped. That wasn't HER looking back at herself! It was..um..(flips randomly through book).um...Justin! Justin Finch-Fletchley! She swooned. She was enamoured! She really hadn't known him, but she had seen him once or twice. Maybe Harry was only a foolish idea, to bury her feelings for Justin! Of course, she didn't know what the name of the boy was. But she liked the face! So she gazed at it for many long minutes, curling his curly curls, loving the way his nose wasn't perkily turned up. Finally, she stood up, and walked away from her dresser. Then she realized something. Only their bodies were switched. This led her to three mental concepts. "Wheres' is MY pretty body?" was the first one, the second was, "My, I'm's a bit tall for this little skirts!" and the third was, "He's are got nice legs!" Man, is she dumb. The atmosphere of fanfictions make you stupid. So where WAS her body? Let's see.. Justin had been having a good day. He had finished his homework, and was sitting with his friends, practicing hexes and such on each other. Suddenly, his friend put a "Lilliputionatus!" curse on him. As the words left his unnamed friend's mouth, a shower of cereal burst from no-where, and they all got scared and ran away, leaving Justin. He was temporarily knocked out. But not for long!
Elsewhere, Luscious Malfoy, (No, not a typo. There are many fanfic authors who spell it that way.), Lucius Malfoy's clone, and Lucius was sick, so he took over the job of being Draco's father, was on his way to Hogwarts. He wanted to be sure to keep any electric-grand-piano-playing from going on. He was surrounded by a malicious haze of self-pride and egotism, accented by his pompous mask, that he used to hide his deep sorrow, but he was also mean, but he was too haughty and rich too not allow no meaness to be happening to his only son, who was so much like himself that Luscious wanted him to act the same, maybe even change the name, the ancient name of his OWN father, that old bat, Draco, but he wouldn't haunt him still, no, Luscious would turn Draco into an evil version of his grandfather, that grandfather who turned Luscious into an evil version of himself; bitter tears almost flow from his stony eyes, as he sneered, ready to make sure Draco would succeed...and never EVER follow his dreams. What a sentence. What does it even mean? The tenses! Where did they go?!
A/N: How awful. You read it, didn't you? Sorry. I had to work my hardest at re-creating the horrors of fanfictions, and I think I succeeded. Look forward to my next chapter, which may come next week or next year, fighting against the wretched "Order of the Phoenix" fanfics. Till then, I will smash my computer to bits. Toodle-Ooo!