BENEATH OLD DREAMS
Chapter Five
When Rinoa knelt on the grass in front of the graves of her father and her grandparents, she felt as if they had just died. She felt that they had just left her.
"Daddy," she asked. "Why is Mommy like that? Why does she love another man? Gramps, Grams, why do Mommy and Aunt Edea tell me bad things about you?"
And she cried.
Rinoa was forced to leave the cemetery when night came. She was scared to spend the night all alone at the cemetery. She walked towards the gate.
It's a good thing I came home early, she thought to herself.
Rinoa was managing her own botique near Deling University. She sold clothes and things students need. She established that shop from the combined funds from her education fund that her father finished paying for before he died, and from the trust fund that her grandparents left her.
That business was, in her opinion, a gift from those three people she loved dearly. Her father and her grandparents were all dead when she finished Business Management with a Cum Laude tucked under her belt.
Her boutique was nearly two years old but it was raking in customers daily. Rinoa still knew what students preferred. She knew their needs, their wants, and their budget.
She went to the boutique everyday so that she can personally attend to her customers. She had two salesgirls in her boutique. They close the store at eight in the evening. Most of the time, Rinoa closes the store. But there are also times that she entrusts the two salesgirls to close the shop.
She felt sleepy after eating lunch earlier that day. She felt weak and tired. She had surfed the internet up to the wee hours of the morning the night before. Rinoa tried to grab a nap on the small bed at her private room at the office at the back of the boutique. But she wasn't satisfied. Her body longed for her own soft and big bed at her house. She decided to go home early.
It was almost three when she got home. And she was shocked at what she saw.
Now, she was on her way home again. Besides, she had nowhere to go.
Rinoa grew up learning the value of family. Ever since, her life was spent only at school and at home. When she managed her own business, it changed to boutique and home. She wasn't fond of cliques. She had not even had a boyfriend.
Maybe, her grandparents influenced her with their conservative views.
She did not feel that her life was incomplete. When she got bored, she went to the grocery. There, she saw many things that she can amuse herself with.
Maybe her visits to the grocery influenced her to be an entrepreneur at a very young age.
But, at this particular moment, she had no one to go to. She did not even have someone to call a best friend. She had no choice but to go home.
Then she thought, why would she hesitate to go home? That house was owned by her grandparents. She had a right to that house.
She had a right to that house rather than that stranger that her grandparents did not approve of.
Rinoa felt more rebellious than ever. She would not agree! She would never let that man belittle the memories of her father and her grandparents in her very own house.
Her steps quickened. She should have never left the house in the first place. She should be there. She was the only one who could protect the rights of her dead father and grandparents.
Again, Rinoa boarded a taxi.
~.*.~ ~.*.~ ~.*.~
Julia was waiting for her at the living room. She was all alone now.
Rinoa silently climbed up the stairs to her room without even glancing at her mother.
When she reached the top of the stairs without hearing anything from Julia, Rinoa felt guilty.
This was the first time she did something like that to her mother.
Since her father died, they had became closer than ever. Her mother was like her best friend that she did not look for another friend nor clique.
Rinoa thought they were happy. Even if her Daddy and her Gramps and Grams were not around, she thought they were complete with her Aunt Edea.
A young woman her age would like to have a boyfriend, but Rinoa never felt the need for a boyfriend. Her mother and her aunt completed her life.
But now, without warning, her mother would be the one who would break their happy life. It was her mother who 'glanced' at a man.
Rinoa felt betrayed by her own mother.
And the root of all that betrayal was the unexpected damage of the foundation of all of Rinoa's memories and beliefs.
She was spoiled by her Gramps and Grams. Her memories of her grandparents were that they were loving and giving.
And now, her aunt would tell her that her grandparents were judging and cruel to others? That they heartless to their own daughter up to the point that they would sacrifice her own happiness forever?
She had always believed that her Daddy was the only man her mother loved and will ever love, that no man could ever come close to her father. And now, she learned that her mother loved another man before her father? That her mother loved that man more than she loved her father? And the most hurtful thing was, this stranger is now here—to replace the memories that her Daddy had left her.
Rinoa almost doubted herself.
If her Mommy and that Laguna had ended up, her Mommy would have never married her Daddy. And she would never be born in this world.
If her Daddy was just a 'stand-in', what did that make her? An accident?
She was never the child her mother had dreamt of. Her Mommy had dreamt of a child who was fathered by Laguna.
Rinoa felt as if the world closed in on her.
When she got inside her bedroom, she quickly changed into her light blue pajamas and laid on her bed.
She forgot the drowsy and fatigued feelings that she had earlier. What she felt now was her spirit weakening.
She felt as if her whole personality was slowly falling apart. She felt as if she did not know herself anymore and she was changed into a person she never knew.
She felt warm tears flow out of the corner of her eyes.
Rinoa heard faint knocking on her door.
She did not even budge.
The door slowly opened. Rinoa never locked her bedroom door.
"Rinoa?" her mother softly called.
She did not answer.
Julia went inside. She slowly closed the door behind her.
"Can we talk?" she asked as she stood beside the door.
Julia did not wait for her daughter's response. She approached the bed and sat down.
Rinoa turned her back on her mother and faced the wall.
"Edea told me she had talked to you," Julia said. "She had already told you our story."
A sigh escaped from Julia's lips.
"I understand that it's agonizing for you to know all of this, Rinny," Julia spoke. "I'm sorry. Maybe, I should have told you earlier. I didn't do that because I tried to protect you from the truth. I don't have any reason to change your opinion on your Gramps and Grams. I also have no reason to let you know what had happened before your Daddy and I got married. I thought that the this would never happen."
Rinoa couldn't stand it anymore.
"My whole life... I lived on lies," she said, bitterness in her voice.
"It's not like that, Rinny," Julia replied. "The love that your grandparents gave you were not lies. And the love that you witnessed between your Daddy and me certainly wasn't false. All of those love that was going around were true. But that is only a part of the truth. You just didn't see the other part."
Rinoa laughed bitterly.
"How did that happen?" she asked. "Did Gramps and Grams have split personalities? All of a sudden, their personalities changed? And how did you love Daddy, if all this time your heart was reserved for that man?"
Julia took a deep breath. Tears ran down her face.
"Listen to me, Rinny," she said. "You're already an adult. You did not experience emotional pain in your whole life that's why, emotionally, you really don't know life's unpredictable changes. But you're already at that age where you can face all of these trials. This is the real world. It's not possible that everything you wanted would happen. There are times that we have to adjust to life."
Julia grabbed a tissue that was on Rinoa's bedside table and blew her nose into it before continuing.
"You're lucky because all of the things that you knew were all good. Your Gramps and Grams, they were really loving. They were also like that to me when I was younger. It's a good thing because what happened to me never happened to you that's why you did not see the other side of their love."
"I'm not telling you that their love wasn't true, Rinoa. I know, even if what they did to me was part of what they believed was loving and protecting me. They meant well. If you would just undestand, you will see that they did that because they love me. But you'll also see that what they did was unfair."
"You're in the right age, Rinny, to know that the world is not black and white. There are times that there are things that are considered wrong or right. That was what happened between me and your grandparents."
"You can't defend them even if they were wrong. You also do not need to judge them. Just understand what had happened."
"Between your Daddy and me, you don't need to judge us, Rinny. We were the only persons who knew the depth of our understanding and the love between us. We are the only one who could prove that."
"Your father gave me the second chance to become happy after years of suffering. I did not hold back anything from you Daddy, Rinny. When we were together, I was his—body and soul, mind and heart."
"Don't tell me that what you saw and felt from our family were all lies, Rinny. Don't trick yourself because of the anger or pain that you feel."
"There's only one thing that I learned after all these years. Yes, I still love Laguna. He never left my heart. But he was in another part of my heart. Your Daddy is in another part, you are also in another part of my heart. And my hidden love for Laguna never prevented me from loving your father. In the same way, the love that I have for Laguna, and the love that he has for me, will not ever come between the memories of your father."
"I hope you understand, Rinny."
"Are you two getting married?" Rinoa asked coldly.
"Yes, he proposed to me and I accepted," Julia answered. "But I will not get married until I have your consent."
"You don't need my consent," Rinoa said.
"I need you, Rinny," Julia said in between sobs. "Don't do to me what your grandparents did to me. I obeyed them because I was scared and I have no strength to disobey them. But to you, Rinny, my heart breaks. I cannot just turn my back on you because you know how much I love you. I will not be happy if you are not happy with it."
Rinoa again felt guilty.
"I won't get in the way of your feelings, Mommy. I won't prevent you from doing what you want to do," she said, even if that hurt her a lot.
Julia knew her daughter. She felt that the issues between them were still not resolved.
"Rinny, I don't want to rush you with this," Julia said. "I know it will take time before you can accept all of these things. I just wish that you won't close your mind and your heart. Let's take things one step at a time."
Rinoa nodded, still not looking at her mother.
"L-laguna will come by again tomorrow," Julia said. "He'll bring along his son. They will have dinner here. This is the chance that we can get to know each other better. I hope you will join us."
Pain pierced in Rinoa's heart. Could she bear that?
"Please, Rinny," Julia begged.
Despite the hurt that she felt, despite the fact that she was still angry at her mother, Rinoa gave in to her mother's wishes. She still loved her mother that much. She quietly nodded.
"Thank you, baby," Julia tearfully said. She kissed Rinoa's forehead before she left the bedroom.
~.*.~ ~.*.~ ~.*.~
When Rinoa was all alone in her room, she analyzed everything her mother told her.
She felt tortured. Every word her mother said stung her heart.
But despite the pain that she felt, she could not deny the truth. Julia was right.
Her mind accepted that Julia was right.
Her mind also accepted that she was just feeling sentimental and emotional about all of the things that were happening right now.
But what could she do? Even if her mind was screaming that what she was feeling was wrong, her heart would not listen. The hurt would not go.
In another part of her heart, she felt compassion for her mother. She understood what her mother went through and what she was feeling now.
But she pitied herself more. She felt pathetic.
Why did she have to get hurt like this just for her mother's happiness?
Later, a knock was heard.
And, again, the person at the other side of the door did not need to wait for her response.
The door opened and their house maid Nana Rosa went in, carrying her dinner on a tray.
"I'll just put it here, Rinoa," she said as she put the tray on the table near the door.
"Thanks, Nana," she said as the old maid went out quietly.
Again, her heart ached.
Her mother and her aunt were indeed thoughtful. They did not call her to come down for dinner because they knew she was not in the condition to go down.
Now, they had asked Nana to deliver her dinner in her bedroom.
What was she feeling? Rinoa did not know how to examine the different feelings that she was experiencing right now.
A/N: Hi! First and foremost, I really really appreciate kikoken's reviews! Thank you so much for reviewing each chapter! I really am very grateful! I'm really glad you like this fic. Thank you for the positive reviews. I hope you liked this chappy. =D Hey, did I thank you already? =D Btw, I just saved your fic in my pc... I'll be reading it... soon!
Anyways! To the other people out there who read this fic, please R&R! Comments, suggestions and criticisms will be dearly appreciated! Thanks in advance!
~bembem~