Shadowed Light: The author is too tired to write chapter 6 right now, so
instead I'm supposed to entertain you. Just so you know, I've got
permission to use everything I use here. And since it gets really boring
around here sometimes, if anyone ever wants an intermission done for their
fanfic, they can always go email the author and I'm sure he'll let me visit
your story for a while.
And now, without further babbling, let's welcome our first act. For this act I'll be dragging in someone from your world to see how amusing they are. Let's welcome our first guest!
*POOF*
Ghoul King: Must feed!
Shadowed Light: Hmm...not that entertaining. Anyway, while you're here, do you mind if I borrow your interview idea? I've got a lot of questions to ask you.
Ghoul King: I'll eat you!
Shadowed Light: How can you eat me? I'm just shadow and ligh-oh never mind. Get the ghoul's companion, that Corwin guy in here.
*POOF*
Corwin: Hi.
Ghoul King: Must feed!
Corwin: You know that gets annoying.
Ghoul King: Really? Must feed! Must feed! Must feed!
Shadowed Light: Hey hey hey! That's enough. Why don't you two introduce yourselves?
Corwin: I'm Corwin Traylor and that thing over there is the Ghoul King.
Ghoul King: What do you mean that thing over there?
Shadowed Light: Hmmm...let me ask you two, what exactly is your relationship?
Corwin: I'm the sane guy who thought up Ghoul King. Now I'm stuck with him.
Ghoul King: What he said.
Shadowed Light: Okay, here's an off topic question I've been dying to ask you Ghoul King; why are most of your reviews centered around minor inaccuracies instead of anything remotely constructive?
Ghoul King: Because it's annoying.
Shadowed Light: Uh, isn't that a reason to avoid doing something?
Ghoul King: No.
Corwin: I'm telling you, he's insane.
Shadowed Light: Okay...next question! In your profile, you mention that you like donating "plague of undeath" to charities. Why do you target the weak and innocent rather than those who might actually pose a threat to you?
Ghoul King: Because it gives me sick pleasure...and I'm a coward at heart.
Corwin: Ugh. I do not know this guy.
Shadowed Light: I see you two don't get along. Why is that?
Ghoul King: I don't know. Corwin's just really negative all the time.
Corwin: What?!? OMG! Excuse me, I'll be right back.
*Corwin walks off to his room*
Shadowed Light: Okay! Now, since you're just a ghoul, how did you end up being a king? I mean, aren't you a slave to the Lich King?
Ghoul King: Shhhh! Not so loud! Even I can have dreams, right?
Shadowed Light: Riiight...oh look, Corwin's back.
*Corwin rushes at Ghoul King with a baseball bat*
Corwin: Take this you pest!
*Corwin whacks the Ghoul King's head across the room*
Ghoul King's Head: Hey! You can't kill me, I'm undead!
Corwin: Arrgh! Dang, why can't you leave me alone?
Shadowed Light: Dang? Okay this brings me to my next question Corwin. Why do you refuse to use swears in your fanfictions?
Ghoul King's Head: Because he's a wuss!
Corwin: What! Argh, Take this!
*Corwin begins whacking Ghoul King's Head with the baseball bat*
Shadowed Light: Um, have you guys ever thought about seeing a marriage councilor?
*Corwin and Ghoul King freeze and glare daggers at Shadowed Light*
Shadowed Light: Uh oh.
Ghoul King: A WHAT councilor?
Corwin: I'll eat you!
Shadowed Light: Um, is it just me or did Corwin just say he was going to eat me?
Ghoul King: Rargh!
*Ghoul King swipes at Shadowed Light with an undead claw. Shadowed Light ducks as Corwin swigs the baseball bat*
Shadowed Light: Okay, I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice! I'm sending you somewhere were you can both learn your lesson!
*POOF*
Ghoul King: Hey! Where are we?
Corwin: Um, it looks like-
Councilor: Welcome to marriage counseling! Oh.I see, an undead and living couple. Well Corwin, let me tell you that necrophilia is nothing to be ashamed of-
Corwin: We're not married!
Councilor: Come now, your relationship can't be that bad. Just remember why you two got together in the first place and I'm sure you'll get along fine.
Ghoul King: Idiotic mortal! I will eat you!
*Ghoul King jumps on marriage councilor and begins (censored for violence)*
Corwin: Wow. That's the first time I've ever seen him actually do it.
Meanwhile...
Shadowed Light: While Ghoul King and Corwin are busy reconciling, let's go to our next act. Let's see who knows more; a mortal reviewer or a nearly omnipotent demonic entity.
*POOF*
Queen of the Harpies: Hi! Oh this is so cool; I get to be in a fanfic!
Kil'Jaeden: THANK'S FOR HAVING ME.
Shadowed Light: Uh, why do you talk like that?
Kil'Jaeden: I'VE GOT A.D.D.
Shadowed Light: A.D.D.?
Kil'Jaeden: ATTENTION DEFECIT DISORDER
Shadowed Light: Oookay...and that makes you talk like that why?
Kil'Jaeden: I'M DESPERATE FOR ATTENTION
Shadowed Light: Uh huh...well that explains a lot. Now, let's get down to business.
Queen of the Harpies: Oo, this is gonna be fun!
Shadowed Light: Now, here are the rules: I will ask you both a question and the first one who thinks they have the answer pushes that little red button next to you. If you answer correctly, you get a point. If you answer incorrectly, your opponent gets to answer instead. Understand?
Queen of the Harpies: Sure!
Kil'Jaeden: OF COURSE NOT. I'VE GOT A.D.D. REMEMBER?
Shadowed Light: You were smart enough to plan an invasion of Azeroth.
Kil'Jaeden: I DIDN'T PLAN THAT. BLIZZARD JUST SHOVED A SCRIPT INTO MY HANDS AND I READ IT.
Shadowed Light: Well do your best; the readers are getting impatient!
Kil'Jaeden: FINE, BUT IF YOU MAKE ME LOOK BAD I WILL DO SOMETHING TO YOU AS SOON AS THE BLIZZARD SCRIPTWRITERS GET OFF THEIR LAZY BUTTOCKS.
Shadowed Light: Right...okay, here's the first question. True or false; when some weird sorceress decides to turn a gryphon rider into a sheep for some strange reason, the sheep ends up having wings.
*BEEP*
Shadowed Light: Yes, Queen of the Harpies!
Queen of the Harpies: Um, false?
Shadowed Light: Oh so sorry, but that's incorrect.
Queen of the Harpies: Awwww.
Shadowed Light: Kil'Jaeden, would you like to try answering?
Kil'Jaeden: HUH? WHAT?
Shadowed Light: Would you like to answer the first question?
Kil'Jaeden: UM. CAN YOU REPEAT THE QUESTION?
Shadowed Light: True or false, when a gryphon rider is polymorphed into a sheep, the sheep has wings.
Kil'Jaeden: UH...WHAT WAS QUEEN OF THE HARPIES'S ANSWER?
Shadowed Light: Just hurry up answer the question for light's sake, it really isn't that hard.
Kil'Jaeden: NORTH DAKOTA?
Shadowed Light: No not North Dakota you idiot! Damn it, this is a true and false question! How stupid are you?!
Kil'Jaeden: IT'S MY A.D.D. MORTAL! JUST LET ME THINK FOR A MOMENT.
Queen of the Harpies: Isn't he supposed to be a great demonlord? I mean, the demons are all ugly and stuff but shouldn't they be smart at least? I mean I suppose that there have to be some stupid demons but seriously, he's like their leader!
Kil'Jaeden: AH HA! I'VE GOT IT! NOW TREMBLE IN FEAR MORTALS, FOR THE DAY OF RECKONING HAS COME! I, KIL'JAEDEN THE DECEIVER HAVE SEEN THROUGH YOUR RIDDLES AND INTO YOUR VERY MINDS! MY INEVITABLE VICTORY IS NOW ASSURED, FOR THE CORRECT ANSWER IS.FALSE!
Shadowed Light: What the hell was Blizzard thinking when they hired you? Ugh, it's going to be a long night.
-Meanwhile, in the frozen wastelands of the marriage counseling office, Ghoul King and Corwin ponder their existence.and plan their revenge-
Corwin: God, I'm hungry.
Ghoul King: Too bad you're not undead like me; you could just eat dead stuff.
Corwin: That marriage councilor didn't look dead to me when you ate him.
Ghoul King: Oh come on, attack and devour, attack and devour; it's all I was taught.
Corwin: Darn it, it's so cold in here. It almost seems to freeze my soul.
Ghoul King: Really? I guess those marriage councilors leave the AC on way too high.
Corwin: Ugh, you really are mindless.
Ghoul King: And you really are pathetic. If we ever come upon another pack of marriage councilors, you can be sure I'm the one who's gonna be saving your arse while you wet your pants.
Corwin: We'll never find our way back to the Intermission now. That means we won't be able to pay Shadowed Light back until we can get to a computer and review this thing.
Ghoul King: If only there were a way to combine our talents.
Corwin: Combine our talents? What talents? Oh wait a minute, I've got an idea. Give me your head.
Ghoul King: What? Give you my head? Are you insane?
Corwin: Trust me, I saw this work in a cut scene.
Ghoul King: Hmmm...all right, but if you screw me over I'll eat you if I ever get my head back on straight.
Corwin: Head back on straight? Not likely to happen.
Ghoul King: What'd you say?
Corwin: Oh, nothing, nothing. Just hand over the head.
*Ghoul King removes his hollow skull-like head and hands it to Corwin*
Corwin: Okay, here goes nothing.
*Corwin raises the Ghoul King's skull and puts it onto his head. It slides down neatly, like a helmet or mask as Corwin's eyes glow blue*
Corwin and Ghoul King: NOW, WE ARE ONE!
*Corwin the Ghoul King roars in triumph. The terrible cry echoes throughout the marriage counseling office as the two entities fuse together*
Corwin the Ghoul King: Heheheh. This feels wonderful! Now all I need is a frozen throne to sit on.
*Corwin the Ghoul King looks around for a throne in vain*
Corwin the Ghoul King: Hmm. Maybe the couch in front of my TV will suffice. I'll finish getting my revenge on Shadowed Light after the Simpsons are over.
*Corwin the Ghoul King opens up a dimensional doorway and steps through, careful not to slam the door behind him and arouse the wrath of his terrible foe; the one he calls father*
-Meanwhile, back at the Intermission-
Shadowed Light: Okay, the score is still zero zero. Since I'm getting tired here the first to three points wins the game. Now here's the next ques- Kil'Jaeden, what the hell are you doing?
*Kil'Jaeden gobbles down a few hundred more pills from a potions bottle*
Kil'Jaeden: PREPARE TO FEEL MY ETERNAL WRATH YOU PITIFUL MORTALS, FOR I HAVE JUST CONSUMED THE ULTIMATE POWERS OF AN ANCIENT FORCE THAT WILL MAKE ME THE MOST POWERFUL ENTITY EVER, THE FORCE KNOWN ONLY AS...RIDALIN!
Shadowed Light: Ridalin? Oh whatever, just pay attention from now on. Now, as I was saying, here is the next question: Jaina Proudmoor is the daughter of the king of which Alliance nation?
*BEEP*
Kil'Jaeden: KUL'TIRAS YOU FOOLISH MORTAL! YOUR PITIFULLY EASY QUESTIONS ARE NO MATCH AGAINST THE POWERS OF RIDALIN!
Queen of the Harpies: Hey, that's not really fair. You shouldn't be allowed to take Ridalin during a competition. Taking Ridalin is like using whosyourdaddy in the campaign mode. (Sorry, I just like saying Ridalin) but oh well. Still, he can't take Ridalin here.
Kil'Jaeden: THAT'S WHERE YOU ARE WRONG MORTAL! I CAN DO WHAT I WANT, FOR I AM KIL'JAEDEN THE DECEIVER, AND I ANSWER TO NO ONE!
Shadowed Light: Well, it's too late now. Just do your best Queen of the Harpies. The score is zero to one. Here's the next question: Malygos, the leader of the blue dragonflight, is known by what title among the-"
*BEEP*
Shadowed Light: Already?
Kil'Jaeden: HE IS KNOWN AS THE SPELL WEAVER! VICTORY IS AS GOOD AS MINE!
Queen of the Harpies: Hey, people might like you more if you didn't have such a big ego. I would really work on your social skills, if I were you.
Kil'Jaeden: SILENCE!
Shadowed Light: Hmmm, you are getting annoying Kil'Jaeden. I'm giving you a fair warning now. Anyway, on to the next question: What is the name of the demon that Ner'Zhul, the Lich King, made a pact with?
*BEEP*
Kil'Jaeden: LORD ARCHIMONDE!
Shadowed Light: Uh...I don't believe it; of all the questions to get wrong! Kil'Jaeden, I am afraid that is incorrect.
Queen of the Harpies: Yes! And I know the answer *performs small victory dance*; Kil'Jaeden made that pact with Ner'Zhul!
Kil'Jaeden: WHAT? IMPOSSIBLE! DAMN IT, I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE READ THE SCRIPT MORE CLOSELY.
Shadowed Light: Well well, what do you know? The score is now one to two, with Queen of the Harpies staying alive. Here's the next question: the queen that Rexxar killed in one of his earlier missions belonged to what race?"
*BEEP*
Queen of the Harpies: HARPIES!
Kil'Jaeden: WHAT? HOW COULD A MERE MORTAL ANSWER FASTER THAN I? GRRR. HER PASSION FOR HARPIES MAY WELL BE A PROBLEM FOR ME IN THE FUTURE.
Shadowed Light: Yes, that is correct Queen of the Harpies! Kil'Jaeden, since I don't like you and since you cheated by taking ridalin, here is the next question: name a harpy spellcas-"
*BEEP BEEP*
Kil'Jaeden: Windwitch!
Queen of the Harpies (at the exact same time): Storm-hag! Oh yeah, I love the orc campaign. I can play it for hours. Mmm.
Shadowed Light: Hmm, a tie. Well now, I still don't like you Kil'Jaeden, so here is the tiebreaker: what is Queen of the Harpies' email address?
Kil'Jaeden: WHAT? JUST HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT? THIS COMPETITION IS FIXED MORTAL!
Queen of the Harpies: drunken_wreckage@opendiary.com!
Shadowed Light: That is correct Queen of the Harpies! You are the winner!
Kil'Jaeden: THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS! I WILL CRUSH YOU INTO A BILLION PIECES MORTAL! YOUR SCREAMS WILL BE HEARD BEYOND THE TWISTING NETHER!
Shadowed Light: I am sorry by mentally challenged friend, but you cannot do anything without permission from Blizzard. You wouldn't want to ruin their nice little storyline, would you?
Kil'Jaeden: ARRRGH! JUST WAIT UNTIL ACT II OF THE ORC CAMPAIGN IS RELEASED! THEN I'LL GET BLIZZARD TO ALLOW ME TO TAKE THE VERY GREAT PLEASURE IN CRUSHING YOU!
Shadowed Light: Well, if events up until now are anything to go by, you've got a very long wait Kil'Jaeden. Until next time, you are the weakest link. Link, please escort our guest out of here.
*POOF*
Link: Hiyah!
Kil'Jaeden: ARRGH! WE'LL MEET AGAIN MORTAL! YOU THINK THAT THIS IS OVER, BUT IT HAS ONLY BEGUN!
Shadowed Light: You know, it would be more impressive if I hadn't heard it like a million times before. Anyway, let's give a round of applause for the winner, Queen of the Harpies!
*APPLAUSE*
Queen of the Harpies: I feel so warm and fuzzy! Oh, do I get a prize?
Shadowed Light: Hmm. I dunno, I didn't really have a prize ready.
Queen of the Harpies: Oh, that's okay. Say, can you include more harpies in the next chapter? Loved the last one! Mmm.harpies. Brings back good memories.
Shadowed Light: Sure, I'll see what I can do. So sorry about the prize though, I'll have to see about that later. Anyway, to the rest of you out there, remember, don't forget to review! I especially like reviews from people who haven't reviewed before. Who knows; if you review, you might be featured in the next intermission! Anyway, until then.
*POOF*
And now, without further babbling, let's welcome our first act. For this act I'll be dragging in someone from your world to see how amusing they are. Let's welcome our first guest!
*POOF*
Ghoul King: Must feed!
Shadowed Light: Hmm...not that entertaining. Anyway, while you're here, do you mind if I borrow your interview idea? I've got a lot of questions to ask you.
Ghoul King: I'll eat you!
Shadowed Light: How can you eat me? I'm just shadow and ligh-oh never mind. Get the ghoul's companion, that Corwin guy in here.
*POOF*
Corwin: Hi.
Ghoul King: Must feed!
Corwin: You know that gets annoying.
Ghoul King: Really? Must feed! Must feed! Must feed!
Shadowed Light: Hey hey hey! That's enough. Why don't you two introduce yourselves?
Corwin: I'm Corwin Traylor and that thing over there is the Ghoul King.
Ghoul King: What do you mean that thing over there?
Shadowed Light: Hmmm...let me ask you two, what exactly is your relationship?
Corwin: I'm the sane guy who thought up Ghoul King. Now I'm stuck with him.
Ghoul King: What he said.
Shadowed Light: Okay, here's an off topic question I've been dying to ask you Ghoul King; why are most of your reviews centered around minor inaccuracies instead of anything remotely constructive?
Ghoul King: Because it's annoying.
Shadowed Light: Uh, isn't that a reason to avoid doing something?
Ghoul King: No.
Corwin: I'm telling you, he's insane.
Shadowed Light: Okay...next question! In your profile, you mention that you like donating "plague of undeath" to charities. Why do you target the weak and innocent rather than those who might actually pose a threat to you?
Ghoul King: Because it gives me sick pleasure...and I'm a coward at heart.
Corwin: Ugh. I do not know this guy.
Shadowed Light: I see you two don't get along. Why is that?
Ghoul King: I don't know. Corwin's just really negative all the time.
Corwin: What?!? OMG! Excuse me, I'll be right back.
*Corwin walks off to his room*
Shadowed Light: Okay! Now, since you're just a ghoul, how did you end up being a king? I mean, aren't you a slave to the Lich King?
Ghoul King: Shhhh! Not so loud! Even I can have dreams, right?
Shadowed Light: Riiight...oh look, Corwin's back.
*Corwin rushes at Ghoul King with a baseball bat*
Corwin: Take this you pest!
*Corwin whacks the Ghoul King's head across the room*
Ghoul King's Head: Hey! You can't kill me, I'm undead!
Corwin: Arrgh! Dang, why can't you leave me alone?
Shadowed Light: Dang? Okay this brings me to my next question Corwin. Why do you refuse to use swears in your fanfictions?
Ghoul King's Head: Because he's a wuss!
Corwin: What! Argh, Take this!
*Corwin begins whacking Ghoul King's Head with the baseball bat*
Shadowed Light: Um, have you guys ever thought about seeing a marriage councilor?
*Corwin and Ghoul King freeze and glare daggers at Shadowed Light*
Shadowed Light: Uh oh.
Ghoul King: A WHAT councilor?
Corwin: I'll eat you!
Shadowed Light: Um, is it just me or did Corwin just say he was going to eat me?
Ghoul King: Rargh!
*Ghoul King swipes at Shadowed Light with an undead claw. Shadowed Light ducks as Corwin swigs the baseball bat*
Shadowed Light: Okay, I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice! I'm sending you somewhere were you can both learn your lesson!
*POOF*
Ghoul King: Hey! Where are we?
Corwin: Um, it looks like-
Councilor: Welcome to marriage counseling! Oh.I see, an undead and living couple. Well Corwin, let me tell you that necrophilia is nothing to be ashamed of-
Corwin: We're not married!
Councilor: Come now, your relationship can't be that bad. Just remember why you two got together in the first place and I'm sure you'll get along fine.
Ghoul King: Idiotic mortal! I will eat you!
*Ghoul King jumps on marriage councilor and begins (censored for violence)*
Corwin: Wow. That's the first time I've ever seen him actually do it.
Meanwhile...
Shadowed Light: While Ghoul King and Corwin are busy reconciling, let's go to our next act. Let's see who knows more; a mortal reviewer or a nearly omnipotent demonic entity.
*POOF*
Queen of the Harpies: Hi! Oh this is so cool; I get to be in a fanfic!
Kil'Jaeden: THANK'S FOR HAVING ME.
Shadowed Light: Uh, why do you talk like that?
Kil'Jaeden: I'VE GOT A.D.D.
Shadowed Light: A.D.D.?
Kil'Jaeden: ATTENTION DEFECIT DISORDER
Shadowed Light: Oookay...and that makes you talk like that why?
Kil'Jaeden: I'M DESPERATE FOR ATTENTION
Shadowed Light: Uh huh...well that explains a lot. Now, let's get down to business.
Queen of the Harpies: Oo, this is gonna be fun!
Shadowed Light: Now, here are the rules: I will ask you both a question and the first one who thinks they have the answer pushes that little red button next to you. If you answer correctly, you get a point. If you answer incorrectly, your opponent gets to answer instead. Understand?
Queen of the Harpies: Sure!
Kil'Jaeden: OF COURSE NOT. I'VE GOT A.D.D. REMEMBER?
Shadowed Light: You were smart enough to plan an invasion of Azeroth.
Kil'Jaeden: I DIDN'T PLAN THAT. BLIZZARD JUST SHOVED A SCRIPT INTO MY HANDS AND I READ IT.
Shadowed Light: Well do your best; the readers are getting impatient!
Kil'Jaeden: FINE, BUT IF YOU MAKE ME LOOK BAD I WILL DO SOMETHING TO YOU AS SOON AS THE BLIZZARD SCRIPTWRITERS GET OFF THEIR LAZY BUTTOCKS.
Shadowed Light: Right...okay, here's the first question. True or false; when some weird sorceress decides to turn a gryphon rider into a sheep for some strange reason, the sheep ends up having wings.
*BEEP*
Shadowed Light: Yes, Queen of the Harpies!
Queen of the Harpies: Um, false?
Shadowed Light: Oh so sorry, but that's incorrect.
Queen of the Harpies: Awwww.
Shadowed Light: Kil'Jaeden, would you like to try answering?
Kil'Jaeden: HUH? WHAT?
Shadowed Light: Would you like to answer the first question?
Kil'Jaeden: UM. CAN YOU REPEAT THE QUESTION?
Shadowed Light: True or false, when a gryphon rider is polymorphed into a sheep, the sheep has wings.
Kil'Jaeden: UH...WHAT WAS QUEEN OF THE HARPIES'S ANSWER?
Shadowed Light: Just hurry up answer the question for light's sake, it really isn't that hard.
Kil'Jaeden: NORTH DAKOTA?
Shadowed Light: No not North Dakota you idiot! Damn it, this is a true and false question! How stupid are you?!
Kil'Jaeden: IT'S MY A.D.D. MORTAL! JUST LET ME THINK FOR A MOMENT.
Queen of the Harpies: Isn't he supposed to be a great demonlord? I mean, the demons are all ugly and stuff but shouldn't they be smart at least? I mean I suppose that there have to be some stupid demons but seriously, he's like their leader!
Kil'Jaeden: AH HA! I'VE GOT IT! NOW TREMBLE IN FEAR MORTALS, FOR THE DAY OF RECKONING HAS COME! I, KIL'JAEDEN THE DECEIVER HAVE SEEN THROUGH YOUR RIDDLES AND INTO YOUR VERY MINDS! MY INEVITABLE VICTORY IS NOW ASSURED, FOR THE CORRECT ANSWER IS.FALSE!
Shadowed Light: What the hell was Blizzard thinking when they hired you? Ugh, it's going to be a long night.
-Meanwhile, in the frozen wastelands of the marriage counseling office, Ghoul King and Corwin ponder their existence.and plan their revenge-
Corwin: God, I'm hungry.
Ghoul King: Too bad you're not undead like me; you could just eat dead stuff.
Corwin: That marriage councilor didn't look dead to me when you ate him.
Ghoul King: Oh come on, attack and devour, attack and devour; it's all I was taught.
Corwin: Darn it, it's so cold in here. It almost seems to freeze my soul.
Ghoul King: Really? I guess those marriage councilors leave the AC on way too high.
Corwin: Ugh, you really are mindless.
Ghoul King: And you really are pathetic. If we ever come upon another pack of marriage councilors, you can be sure I'm the one who's gonna be saving your arse while you wet your pants.
Corwin: We'll never find our way back to the Intermission now. That means we won't be able to pay Shadowed Light back until we can get to a computer and review this thing.
Ghoul King: If only there were a way to combine our talents.
Corwin: Combine our talents? What talents? Oh wait a minute, I've got an idea. Give me your head.
Ghoul King: What? Give you my head? Are you insane?
Corwin: Trust me, I saw this work in a cut scene.
Ghoul King: Hmmm...all right, but if you screw me over I'll eat you if I ever get my head back on straight.
Corwin: Head back on straight? Not likely to happen.
Ghoul King: What'd you say?
Corwin: Oh, nothing, nothing. Just hand over the head.
*Ghoul King removes his hollow skull-like head and hands it to Corwin*
Corwin: Okay, here goes nothing.
*Corwin raises the Ghoul King's skull and puts it onto his head. It slides down neatly, like a helmet or mask as Corwin's eyes glow blue*
Corwin and Ghoul King: NOW, WE ARE ONE!
*Corwin the Ghoul King roars in triumph. The terrible cry echoes throughout the marriage counseling office as the two entities fuse together*
Corwin the Ghoul King: Heheheh. This feels wonderful! Now all I need is a frozen throne to sit on.
*Corwin the Ghoul King looks around for a throne in vain*
Corwin the Ghoul King: Hmm. Maybe the couch in front of my TV will suffice. I'll finish getting my revenge on Shadowed Light after the Simpsons are over.
*Corwin the Ghoul King opens up a dimensional doorway and steps through, careful not to slam the door behind him and arouse the wrath of his terrible foe; the one he calls father*
-Meanwhile, back at the Intermission-
Shadowed Light: Okay, the score is still zero zero. Since I'm getting tired here the first to three points wins the game. Now here's the next ques- Kil'Jaeden, what the hell are you doing?
*Kil'Jaeden gobbles down a few hundred more pills from a potions bottle*
Kil'Jaeden: PREPARE TO FEEL MY ETERNAL WRATH YOU PITIFUL MORTALS, FOR I HAVE JUST CONSUMED THE ULTIMATE POWERS OF AN ANCIENT FORCE THAT WILL MAKE ME THE MOST POWERFUL ENTITY EVER, THE FORCE KNOWN ONLY AS...RIDALIN!
Shadowed Light: Ridalin? Oh whatever, just pay attention from now on. Now, as I was saying, here is the next question: Jaina Proudmoor is the daughter of the king of which Alliance nation?
*BEEP*
Kil'Jaeden: KUL'TIRAS YOU FOOLISH MORTAL! YOUR PITIFULLY EASY QUESTIONS ARE NO MATCH AGAINST THE POWERS OF RIDALIN!
Queen of the Harpies: Hey, that's not really fair. You shouldn't be allowed to take Ridalin during a competition. Taking Ridalin is like using whosyourdaddy in the campaign mode. (Sorry, I just like saying Ridalin) but oh well. Still, he can't take Ridalin here.
Kil'Jaeden: THAT'S WHERE YOU ARE WRONG MORTAL! I CAN DO WHAT I WANT, FOR I AM KIL'JAEDEN THE DECEIVER, AND I ANSWER TO NO ONE!
Shadowed Light: Well, it's too late now. Just do your best Queen of the Harpies. The score is zero to one. Here's the next question: Malygos, the leader of the blue dragonflight, is known by what title among the-"
*BEEP*
Shadowed Light: Already?
Kil'Jaeden: HE IS KNOWN AS THE SPELL WEAVER! VICTORY IS AS GOOD AS MINE!
Queen of the Harpies: Hey, people might like you more if you didn't have such a big ego. I would really work on your social skills, if I were you.
Kil'Jaeden: SILENCE!
Shadowed Light: Hmmm, you are getting annoying Kil'Jaeden. I'm giving you a fair warning now. Anyway, on to the next question: What is the name of the demon that Ner'Zhul, the Lich King, made a pact with?
*BEEP*
Kil'Jaeden: LORD ARCHIMONDE!
Shadowed Light: Uh...I don't believe it; of all the questions to get wrong! Kil'Jaeden, I am afraid that is incorrect.
Queen of the Harpies: Yes! And I know the answer *performs small victory dance*; Kil'Jaeden made that pact with Ner'Zhul!
Kil'Jaeden: WHAT? IMPOSSIBLE! DAMN IT, I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE READ THE SCRIPT MORE CLOSELY.
Shadowed Light: Well well, what do you know? The score is now one to two, with Queen of the Harpies staying alive. Here's the next question: the queen that Rexxar killed in one of his earlier missions belonged to what race?"
*BEEP*
Queen of the Harpies: HARPIES!
Kil'Jaeden: WHAT? HOW COULD A MERE MORTAL ANSWER FASTER THAN I? GRRR. HER PASSION FOR HARPIES MAY WELL BE A PROBLEM FOR ME IN THE FUTURE.
Shadowed Light: Yes, that is correct Queen of the Harpies! Kil'Jaeden, since I don't like you and since you cheated by taking ridalin, here is the next question: name a harpy spellcas-"
*BEEP BEEP*
Kil'Jaeden: Windwitch!
Queen of the Harpies (at the exact same time): Storm-hag! Oh yeah, I love the orc campaign. I can play it for hours. Mmm.
Shadowed Light: Hmm, a tie. Well now, I still don't like you Kil'Jaeden, so here is the tiebreaker: what is Queen of the Harpies' email address?
Kil'Jaeden: WHAT? JUST HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT? THIS COMPETITION IS FIXED MORTAL!
Queen of the Harpies: drunken_wreckage@opendiary.com!
Shadowed Light: That is correct Queen of the Harpies! You are the winner!
Kil'Jaeden: THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS! I WILL CRUSH YOU INTO A BILLION PIECES MORTAL! YOUR SCREAMS WILL BE HEARD BEYOND THE TWISTING NETHER!
Shadowed Light: I am sorry by mentally challenged friend, but you cannot do anything without permission from Blizzard. You wouldn't want to ruin their nice little storyline, would you?
Kil'Jaeden: ARRRGH! JUST WAIT UNTIL ACT II OF THE ORC CAMPAIGN IS RELEASED! THEN I'LL GET BLIZZARD TO ALLOW ME TO TAKE THE VERY GREAT PLEASURE IN CRUSHING YOU!
Shadowed Light: Well, if events up until now are anything to go by, you've got a very long wait Kil'Jaeden. Until next time, you are the weakest link. Link, please escort our guest out of here.
*POOF*
Link: Hiyah!
Kil'Jaeden: ARRGH! WE'LL MEET AGAIN MORTAL! YOU THINK THAT THIS IS OVER, BUT IT HAS ONLY BEGUN!
Shadowed Light: You know, it would be more impressive if I hadn't heard it like a million times before. Anyway, let's give a round of applause for the winner, Queen of the Harpies!
*APPLAUSE*
Queen of the Harpies: I feel so warm and fuzzy! Oh, do I get a prize?
Shadowed Light: Hmm. I dunno, I didn't really have a prize ready.
Queen of the Harpies: Oh, that's okay. Say, can you include more harpies in the next chapter? Loved the last one! Mmm.harpies. Brings back good memories.
Shadowed Light: Sure, I'll see what I can do. So sorry about the prize though, I'll have to see about that later. Anyway, to the rest of you out there, remember, don't forget to review! I especially like reviews from people who haven't reviewed before. Who knows; if you review, you might be featured in the next intermission! Anyway, until then.
*POOF*