Aeryn hurried through the corridors of the Stella Navis as she hastily zipped up the last part of her uniform. In Cargo Bay 2, Deyran still sat on the crates, dressing himself. He would kick his own butt if he could, how could he have let that happen? He sighed as he jumped of the crates and headed for the exit.
"I have to talk to her," he said to himself and headed in the direction of a turbolift since she was probably on her way to her quarters.
And indeed she was. She stormed inside and dropped herself on the couch. Trembling, she asked herself how she could have let this happen.
When the door chimed, she knew it was Deyran.
"Go away," she said.
"Aeryn we need to talk about this."
"Not now!"
"Are you staying in?"
"Yes…"
"I'll ask Reiko to help in the Cargo Bays then."
"Do that, now go away."
'Gods, what have I done,' Aeryn thought, 'I –I had sex with Deyran, not Tymion, oh Gods… It's all his fault, if he hadn't started… No, that's bull. I-I-I… Reiko, she'll help…' Aeryn tapped her commbadge, completely forgetting that Deyran would ask Reiko for help.
"Aeryn to Reiko."
"Reiko here."
"Can you come here, I-I need you…"
"Aeryn? Are you alright?"
"Yes… no…"
"I'll be on my way, Reiko out."
Reiko quickly called Deyran to let him know she wasn't coming.
"…Aeryn needs me, I'll come as soon as possible."
"But…"
"No buts, Reiko out."
A few minutes later she stood at Aeryn's door. Hesitantly she pressed the chime, she had no idea what to expect.
"Come in," came Aeryn's voice from inside. Reiko stepped inside and looked around. Where was she?
As her eyes got used to the somewhat darkened room, she spotted Aeryn on the couch and in a few steps she was with her friend.
"Aeryn…? What's up?" Reiko asked as she sat down next to her. She laid her hand on Aeryn's shoulder and that triggered a flow of tears from Aeryn. Reiko pulled her friend closer and hugged her.
In between soft sobs, Aeryn was able to tell her what had happened as Reiko just held her.
"…and-and I… and now…" Aeryn finished.
"Shhhh," Reiko said and patted Aeryn on the back, "calm down now, it's not that bad. It actually doesn't really surprise me that it happened. I mean…" she continued as Aeryn gave her a somewhat surprised look, "think about it… Deyran is the new host of the Yiy symbiont, he has all of Tymion's memories and feelings and stuff. And he also looks a bit like Tymion. And it's logical that you'd be thinking extra about Tymion in this time and it's no shame that you let your guard down and fell for Deyran."
Aeryn didn't say anything, but she had stopped crying during Reiko's little speech.
"I-I guess you're right, but it feels as if… as if I'm betraying him, betraying his memory."
"Look, what happened, happened. You can't change it, it's up to you now to decide if this was all it was. Anyhow, you'll have to talk to Deyran about this, he's probably feeling terrible too."
"But that's the other thing, what if Deyran has feelings for me?" Aeryn said, getting up, "I mean, shouldn't he have, at least a little, or else he wouldn't have gone that far, would he?"
"If I know Deyran a bit I'd say 'yes, he has feelings for you', but if you don't return those feelings, tell him, he deserves that and it will help him deal with it too."
Aeryn nodded shortly, "You're right, but not just now."
Reiko stayed with Aeryn for a while longer till she had calmed down after which she got up to go.
"Deyran called if I could help him… well, fix what you where doing before… Why don't you hold the fort up on the Bridge?"
"Okay," Aeryn said, smiling to reassure Reiko she was fine, as far as she could be, "I'll do that."
Reiko then stepped outside and said, just before the door closed: "Don't wait too long…"
Aeryn stayed in her quarters for another half hour when she realized she couldn't stay in here while her crew was fixing the ship by themselves. She had the computer tell her where Deyran was and ordered the computer to tell her when Deyran was going somewhere else. After that, she left her quarters and went up to the Bridge where Leo was holding the fort by himself.
"Aeryn," Leo said, almost called out, when she entered, "Are you okay? I sensed…"
Aeryn threw him a little smile, "I'm okay, I think, but I don't really want to talk about it."
Leo nodded as he accepted her answer, he and Aeryn had been friends ever since she had been a teenager, more than hundred years ago. He knew something was bothering her and it hurt him that she couldn't share it with him.
Aeryn looked up and met his eyes; she sensed his general feelings and smiled reassuringly.
"I'm really okay and I will tell you, just not know; I'm not up to it."
Satisfied with that, the two people went on with their duties.
That evening, after a hard day of work, Aeryn retreated to her quarters early. The 'incident' hadn't been out of her thoughts all day and she knew she had to talk to Deyran.
"Computer, record message," Aeryn said.
The computer bleeped shortly to tell it was ready.
"Deyran, it's me, Aeryn. Could we talk? Somewhere that's not either of our quarters? Uhm… maybe the messhall, it's usually empty at this time. Thanks. End message, send to Deyran."
Again the computer bleeped and the message was sent. Aeryn waited for an answer while fidgeting with her shirt. The last time she had been feeling so insecure had been ages ago and she didn't like the feeling. A minute or two later the computer bleeped and said: "incoming transmission."
"Playback."
"Hey, Aeryn, good you called, uhm… the messhall's okay, uhm, when did you want to meet? Tonight or… I mean, I'm free, I could… Could you call me with the time?"
Aeryn let the breath she didn't know she was holding escape.
"Computer, record message. 'How about now?' End message, send to Deyran."
A few seconds after she had sent the message, a new one came in.
"Okay, see you there."
Aeryn sighed once more, got up and left her quarters on her way to the messhall.
When she arrived in the mess, Deyran was there already.
"Hey," he said throwing her a quick smile, "are you okay?"
"Not really," Aeryn said as she indicated a table, "let's sit."
When they sat, she paused for a breath and straightened up.
"Look, what happened today, it shouldn't have. I like you Deyran, you've been a very good friend, but it's just too soon."
"Aeryn," Deyran said, "I like you a lot, more than just as a friend, but I didn't mean for today to happen. Especially not on this day."
"Tymion was my soulmate," Aeryn said, "and when he died it felt as if my heart was ripped out. When the symbiont survived, at first I was desperate, Tymion would be gone, but his memories and all would still be here, yet he wasn't here. When the symbiont ended up with you and we came to know you, you became a friend and when you decided to travel with us, I was extremely happy. My outlook on the symbiont had changed, because now, even though Tymion would be gone, his memories and all would still be here, with us. Point is this, I've gradually over the past year come to see you as your own separate person and I like you very much too and maybe some day we might become more than friends, but not now. After a year, the wound is still fresh, and even though there are days I don't think of Tymion, the ones he's in my mind all day still very much outnumber the days he isn't."
Deyran nodded when she finished.
"I understand, I won't say things like 'let's pretend it never happened' because that's impossible, at least for me, and I think for you too," he said, "But I will let you dictate the pace, we'll be friends, and I'll be here for you as a friend, and if the day comes you want to take it a step further… well, we'll see about it then."
Aeryn smiled at him and took the hand he extended. They sat for a moment with their hands locked, glad that this obstacle was out of the way.
"You want something to drink?" Deyran asked, indicating the replicator with his head.
"Sure, coffee please."
Deyran got up and went to get drinks for the two of them after which they spent some more time in the mess talking.
The next morning Aeryn walked onto the Bridge with a smile on her face. Reiko gave her a questioning look and Aeryn smiled at her and whispered to her as she passed by her: "All is well again."
Reiko gave her a full-hearted smile and turned her attention back to her console.
Except for Angel and Leo, everyone was on the Bridge and Aeryn called for attention.
"Okay people, I need an update; Deyran, Reiko, what about the funny phenomenon?"
"Still there, hasn't changed at all except for the standard fluctuations it had when we discovered it," Reiko answered.
Aeryn then tapped her commbadge: "Angel, how's it going down there?"
"Fine, just fine. Harry's back already and we're making good progress. Some of the damage appears to be less severe than we thought so we should be ready in a week."
"Perfect, that's the time-saving I need, one week in a night. Aeryn out. Spike, how's Astro doing?"
"Good as new, finished it yesterday."
"Perfect. I've been talking to Janeway this morning and we've decided that we're going to travel together for an undefined period. Basically, till we're sick of it and want to take another route or explore something; because Voyager does explore, but her main goal is to take a course as straight as possible to the Alpha Quadrant. We are not really bound by time limitations, except when it comes to you two," Aeryn said as she nodded to Deyran and Reiko. "But, we'll tackle those issues when they come on our path; we've got a lifetime to hang around here if we want to. If we don't, we'll just use the Improbability Drive again and we'll see were we'll end up."
"Speaking of Improbability Drive, are you going to give the technology to Voyager? It could help them get home; they can just try a few times until they end up in the Alpha Quadrant and then just move along home," Spike said.
"I've been thinking about it, but it's impossible. The Drive was designed for this vessel, it won't work on Voyager. And modifying Voyager to accept the Drive would require a complete overhaul of the vessel and cutting parts off to decrease the vessel size. And modifying the Drive to work on a ship that big would either destroy it or work only once with a 75 percent chance of blowing the entire vessel up."
"Ow, that's a shame," Reiko said. Aeryn nodded and sat down in the command chair.
"Okay, let's continue on with the daily things, fix this ship and keep an eye on the FP."
"The what?" Spike asked.
"The FP, Funny Phenomenon," Aeryn laughed as she began reading the latest repair report.
"I have to talk to her," he said to himself and headed in the direction of a turbolift since she was probably on her way to her quarters.
And indeed she was. She stormed inside and dropped herself on the couch. Trembling, she asked herself how she could have let this happen.
When the door chimed, she knew it was Deyran.
"Go away," she said.
"Aeryn we need to talk about this."
"Not now!"
"Are you staying in?"
"Yes…"
"I'll ask Reiko to help in the Cargo Bays then."
"Do that, now go away."
'Gods, what have I done,' Aeryn thought, 'I –I had sex with Deyran, not Tymion, oh Gods… It's all his fault, if he hadn't started… No, that's bull. I-I-I… Reiko, she'll help…' Aeryn tapped her commbadge, completely forgetting that Deyran would ask Reiko for help.
"Aeryn to Reiko."
"Reiko here."
"Can you come here, I-I need you…"
"Aeryn? Are you alright?"
"Yes… no…"
"I'll be on my way, Reiko out."
Reiko quickly called Deyran to let him know she wasn't coming.
"…Aeryn needs me, I'll come as soon as possible."
"But…"
"No buts, Reiko out."
A few minutes later she stood at Aeryn's door. Hesitantly she pressed the chime, she had no idea what to expect.
"Come in," came Aeryn's voice from inside. Reiko stepped inside and looked around. Where was she?
As her eyes got used to the somewhat darkened room, she spotted Aeryn on the couch and in a few steps she was with her friend.
"Aeryn…? What's up?" Reiko asked as she sat down next to her. She laid her hand on Aeryn's shoulder and that triggered a flow of tears from Aeryn. Reiko pulled her friend closer and hugged her.
In between soft sobs, Aeryn was able to tell her what had happened as Reiko just held her.
"…and-and I… and now…" Aeryn finished.
"Shhhh," Reiko said and patted Aeryn on the back, "calm down now, it's not that bad. It actually doesn't really surprise me that it happened. I mean…" she continued as Aeryn gave her a somewhat surprised look, "think about it… Deyran is the new host of the Yiy symbiont, he has all of Tymion's memories and feelings and stuff. And he also looks a bit like Tymion. And it's logical that you'd be thinking extra about Tymion in this time and it's no shame that you let your guard down and fell for Deyran."
Aeryn didn't say anything, but she had stopped crying during Reiko's little speech.
"I-I guess you're right, but it feels as if… as if I'm betraying him, betraying his memory."
"Look, what happened, happened. You can't change it, it's up to you now to decide if this was all it was. Anyhow, you'll have to talk to Deyran about this, he's probably feeling terrible too."
"But that's the other thing, what if Deyran has feelings for me?" Aeryn said, getting up, "I mean, shouldn't he have, at least a little, or else he wouldn't have gone that far, would he?"
"If I know Deyran a bit I'd say 'yes, he has feelings for you', but if you don't return those feelings, tell him, he deserves that and it will help him deal with it too."
Aeryn nodded shortly, "You're right, but not just now."
Reiko stayed with Aeryn for a while longer till she had calmed down after which she got up to go.
"Deyran called if I could help him… well, fix what you where doing before… Why don't you hold the fort up on the Bridge?"
"Okay," Aeryn said, smiling to reassure Reiko she was fine, as far as she could be, "I'll do that."
Reiko then stepped outside and said, just before the door closed: "Don't wait too long…"
Aeryn stayed in her quarters for another half hour when she realized she couldn't stay in here while her crew was fixing the ship by themselves. She had the computer tell her where Deyran was and ordered the computer to tell her when Deyran was going somewhere else. After that, she left her quarters and went up to the Bridge where Leo was holding the fort by himself.
"Aeryn," Leo said, almost called out, when she entered, "Are you okay? I sensed…"
Aeryn threw him a little smile, "I'm okay, I think, but I don't really want to talk about it."
Leo nodded as he accepted her answer, he and Aeryn had been friends ever since she had been a teenager, more than hundred years ago. He knew something was bothering her and it hurt him that she couldn't share it with him.
Aeryn looked up and met his eyes; she sensed his general feelings and smiled reassuringly.
"I'm really okay and I will tell you, just not know; I'm not up to it."
Satisfied with that, the two people went on with their duties.
That evening, after a hard day of work, Aeryn retreated to her quarters early. The 'incident' hadn't been out of her thoughts all day and she knew she had to talk to Deyran.
"Computer, record message," Aeryn said.
The computer bleeped shortly to tell it was ready.
"Deyran, it's me, Aeryn. Could we talk? Somewhere that's not either of our quarters? Uhm… maybe the messhall, it's usually empty at this time. Thanks. End message, send to Deyran."
Again the computer bleeped and the message was sent. Aeryn waited for an answer while fidgeting with her shirt. The last time she had been feeling so insecure had been ages ago and she didn't like the feeling. A minute or two later the computer bleeped and said: "incoming transmission."
"Playback."
"Hey, Aeryn, good you called, uhm… the messhall's okay, uhm, when did you want to meet? Tonight or… I mean, I'm free, I could… Could you call me with the time?"
Aeryn let the breath she didn't know she was holding escape.
"Computer, record message. 'How about now?' End message, send to Deyran."
A few seconds after she had sent the message, a new one came in.
"Okay, see you there."
Aeryn sighed once more, got up and left her quarters on her way to the messhall.
When she arrived in the mess, Deyran was there already.
"Hey," he said throwing her a quick smile, "are you okay?"
"Not really," Aeryn said as she indicated a table, "let's sit."
When they sat, she paused for a breath and straightened up.
"Look, what happened today, it shouldn't have. I like you Deyran, you've been a very good friend, but it's just too soon."
"Aeryn," Deyran said, "I like you a lot, more than just as a friend, but I didn't mean for today to happen. Especially not on this day."
"Tymion was my soulmate," Aeryn said, "and when he died it felt as if my heart was ripped out. When the symbiont survived, at first I was desperate, Tymion would be gone, but his memories and all would still be here, yet he wasn't here. When the symbiont ended up with you and we came to know you, you became a friend and when you decided to travel with us, I was extremely happy. My outlook on the symbiont had changed, because now, even though Tymion would be gone, his memories and all would still be here, with us. Point is this, I've gradually over the past year come to see you as your own separate person and I like you very much too and maybe some day we might become more than friends, but not now. After a year, the wound is still fresh, and even though there are days I don't think of Tymion, the ones he's in my mind all day still very much outnumber the days he isn't."
Deyran nodded when she finished.
"I understand, I won't say things like 'let's pretend it never happened' because that's impossible, at least for me, and I think for you too," he said, "But I will let you dictate the pace, we'll be friends, and I'll be here for you as a friend, and if the day comes you want to take it a step further… well, we'll see about it then."
Aeryn smiled at him and took the hand he extended. They sat for a moment with their hands locked, glad that this obstacle was out of the way.
"You want something to drink?" Deyran asked, indicating the replicator with his head.
"Sure, coffee please."
Deyran got up and went to get drinks for the two of them after which they spent some more time in the mess talking.
The next morning Aeryn walked onto the Bridge with a smile on her face. Reiko gave her a questioning look and Aeryn smiled at her and whispered to her as she passed by her: "All is well again."
Reiko gave her a full-hearted smile and turned her attention back to her console.
Except for Angel and Leo, everyone was on the Bridge and Aeryn called for attention.
"Okay people, I need an update; Deyran, Reiko, what about the funny phenomenon?"
"Still there, hasn't changed at all except for the standard fluctuations it had when we discovered it," Reiko answered.
Aeryn then tapped her commbadge: "Angel, how's it going down there?"
"Fine, just fine. Harry's back already and we're making good progress. Some of the damage appears to be less severe than we thought so we should be ready in a week."
"Perfect, that's the time-saving I need, one week in a night. Aeryn out. Spike, how's Astro doing?"
"Good as new, finished it yesterday."
"Perfect. I've been talking to Janeway this morning and we've decided that we're going to travel together for an undefined period. Basically, till we're sick of it and want to take another route or explore something; because Voyager does explore, but her main goal is to take a course as straight as possible to the Alpha Quadrant. We are not really bound by time limitations, except when it comes to you two," Aeryn said as she nodded to Deyran and Reiko. "But, we'll tackle those issues when they come on our path; we've got a lifetime to hang around here if we want to. If we don't, we'll just use the Improbability Drive again and we'll see were we'll end up."
"Speaking of Improbability Drive, are you going to give the technology to Voyager? It could help them get home; they can just try a few times until they end up in the Alpha Quadrant and then just move along home," Spike said.
"I've been thinking about it, but it's impossible. The Drive was designed for this vessel, it won't work on Voyager. And modifying Voyager to accept the Drive would require a complete overhaul of the vessel and cutting parts off to decrease the vessel size. And modifying the Drive to work on a ship that big would either destroy it or work only once with a 75 percent chance of blowing the entire vessel up."
"Ow, that's a shame," Reiko said. Aeryn nodded and sat down in the command chair.
"Okay, let's continue on with the daily things, fix this ship and keep an eye on the FP."
"The what?" Spike asked.
"The FP, Funny Phenomenon," Aeryn laughed as she began reading the latest repair report.