Such is Life
Part 21
The night we eventually decided to call it quits broke my heart. We were both home, both exhausted and after another argument over something so trivial I don't even remember I broke down and sobbed. He sat next to me on the couch and I'll never forget the words he said, the words neither of us had wanted to mention for so long but were both thinking all the same. "This isn't working!"
I was so choked I couldn't speak but I knew in my heart he was right. He sat beside me with his head in his hands, sniffing occasionally until I could eventually stop crying for long enough to speak.
"I'll ah…I'll move out."
"No I don't want that. I'll go!"
"I can't afford this place on my own Chris." I wiped my face.
"You don't have to, I'll pay, I'll make sure you're ok."
"But I still love you!" I broke down again and he held me and cried. We cried most of the night but we still slept in the same bed, holding onto each other, knowing it was the last time. Not that either of us got much sleep, I just lay there as he held me, devastated that we had finally admitted the truth, it was over.
I suppose word got around both locker rooms, I got sympathy looks from all the guys that I worked with, some had that look in their eye like 'What did you expect?' I ignored them. What I had with Chris had been the best years of my life and now at 21 years old I had to rebuild it, move on, but damn it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I couldn't help but turn on the TV when I knew Raw was on, even though just seeing him on the screen made me cry I still needed to see him.
I was home for the weekend the day Shawn Michaels walked back into my life totally unexpected. There was a knock on the door and there he was. I was stunned, then he held out his arms and I cried on the doorstep. He had heard what had happened, even though as he explained to me he wasn't wrestling anymore due to an injury, he still worked for the WWF and he wanted to see me, make sure I was ok, ever the 'uncle'! It was amazing to see him again, we talked for hours, I even got up the courage to ask him all those questions about my mother that I had avoided so long ago now. He stayed, slept on the couch and the next day we did the same, talked and talked, it was exactly what I needed right then, someone to talk to, I had felt so alone since Chris left, like I had no one, now I had Shawn, I was sad the next day when he left.
The inevitable happened and Vince McMahon and the WWF bought out WcW, most of us were left jobless, the irony of it still stings me to this day, if it wasn't so tragic I'd have laughed out loud. The last Nitro was sad, everyone was saying their goodbyes and there was a lot of tears and confusion. Not many people had a clue what to do or where to go next, wrestlers as well as us backstage hands.
I got another job in a local school, Shawn still came to see me, I still cried over Raw every Monday night and wondered how the hell I had come to this? This meaningless lonely life that I was living, hardly seemed worth getting out of bed every morning, in fact there were a few occasions when I just didn't bother at all. The job at the school eventually ended and I was lost, I sat all day watching crappy soaps on TV, not even getting dressed. It took Shawn to shake some sense into me and get me back on track, and to this day I will never ever forget that, without him I wouldn't be where I am today, where IS that you ask? Well keep reading it aint all bad!
Part 21
The night we eventually decided to call it quits broke my heart. We were both home, both exhausted and after another argument over something so trivial I don't even remember I broke down and sobbed. He sat next to me on the couch and I'll never forget the words he said, the words neither of us had wanted to mention for so long but were both thinking all the same. "This isn't working!"
I was so choked I couldn't speak but I knew in my heart he was right. He sat beside me with his head in his hands, sniffing occasionally until I could eventually stop crying for long enough to speak.
"I'll ah…I'll move out."
"No I don't want that. I'll go!"
"I can't afford this place on my own Chris." I wiped my face.
"You don't have to, I'll pay, I'll make sure you're ok."
"But I still love you!" I broke down again and he held me and cried. We cried most of the night but we still slept in the same bed, holding onto each other, knowing it was the last time. Not that either of us got much sleep, I just lay there as he held me, devastated that we had finally admitted the truth, it was over.
I suppose word got around both locker rooms, I got sympathy looks from all the guys that I worked with, some had that look in their eye like 'What did you expect?' I ignored them. What I had with Chris had been the best years of my life and now at 21 years old I had to rebuild it, move on, but damn it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I couldn't help but turn on the TV when I knew Raw was on, even though just seeing him on the screen made me cry I still needed to see him.
I was home for the weekend the day Shawn Michaels walked back into my life totally unexpected. There was a knock on the door and there he was. I was stunned, then he held out his arms and I cried on the doorstep. He had heard what had happened, even though as he explained to me he wasn't wrestling anymore due to an injury, he still worked for the WWF and he wanted to see me, make sure I was ok, ever the 'uncle'! It was amazing to see him again, we talked for hours, I even got up the courage to ask him all those questions about my mother that I had avoided so long ago now. He stayed, slept on the couch and the next day we did the same, talked and talked, it was exactly what I needed right then, someone to talk to, I had felt so alone since Chris left, like I had no one, now I had Shawn, I was sad the next day when he left.
The inevitable happened and Vince McMahon and the WWF bought out WcW, most of us were left jobless, the irony of it still stings me to this day, if it wasn't so tragic I'd have laughed out loud. The last Nitro was sad, everyone was saying their goodbyes and there was a lot of tears and confusion. Not many people had a clue what to do or where to go next, wrestlers as well as us backstage hands.
I got another job in a local school, Shawn still came to see me, I still cried over Raw every Monday night and wondered how the hell I had come to this? This meaningless lonely life that I was living, hardly seemed worth getting out of bed every morning, in fact there were a few occasions when I just didn't bother at all. The job at the school eventually ended and I was lost, I sat all day watching crappy soaps on TV, not even getting dressed. It took Shawn to shake some sense into me and get me back on track, and to this day I will never ever forget that, without him I wouldn't be where I am today, where IS that you ask? Well keep reading it aint all bad!