I know this chapter is really weird and totally unbelievable but, hey, it's
my story. I needed oz to do this so I made him.
So, on with the fic
~~~~~~
Chapter 4
~~~~~~
"Cordelia!"
Cordelia jumped and looked up to the worried look of her parents.
"Sorry" she murmured.
Her mother put her hand over Cordelia's. "Are you all right, honey? You've been awfully quiet tonight."
Cordelia nodded, "I'm fine"
She played with her food for a few minutes, her mind clearly elsewhere. She looked up at her father.
"Um, Daddy? I'm not very hungry. Can I go to bed?"
He watched her worriedly for a minute, "I thought you were going out tonight."
"I'm just a bit tired." He nodded. She ran over to his side of the table and kissed him on the cheek. Then she ran up to her room. Her parents exchanged glances.
* * *
Oz collapsed on the couch as soon as he got home. He was feeling strange. The pills hadn't kicked in yet and he was feeling lonely. His father was on a business trip and would be returning the next day, not that that was any comfort. His father tended to ignore his existence.
Oz turned on the TV, glad for the distraction. His head was pounding and he was feeling weak. He desperately tried to concentrate on the movie on the screen but he couldn't. The alarm in his watch went off. He grabbed the container of pills from his backpack and retrieved a glass of water from the kitchen.
He choked down the water, feeling worse than ever. He hadn't remembered the pills tasting that bad. After a few minutes, he gave up and went to bed.
* * *
The next day, Friday, Oz had to drag himself to school, feeling worse than he ever could remember. He didn't understand it but ignored the pains in his head and the nausea. Oz was barely ever sick but he knew that Snyder wouldn't believe him and would put him down for truancy.
The thought of going to school and having to face Willow made him feel worse. He was having a hard time trying to keep away from her. He knew that he was still angry with her and the bitterness from her and Xander's betrayal was still strong and he knew that even if he were to get back with her, it was the wrong time. He couldn't handle it now.
He managed to just about get through the day, with Cordelia shooting worried glances at him and half the school either avoiding him or being overly nice. He knew that it would be like this for a few weeks but he didn't mind. He was used to it.
He stayed in the library after school.
Angel, Faith and Buffy left at seven to patrol. Willow sat at the computer, searching for forgotten prophesies. Xander and Cordelia sat at opposite sides of the library, reading big, heavy, dusty books filled with gruesome monsters. He was reading one of these books as well.
He put his hand to his head as another wave of nausea hit him. When he looked up, Cordelia was standing over him with his pills and a bottle of water. He grabbed them from her and swallowed them in one gulp. He went back to his reading and Cordelia went back to the table.
He read for about a half hour until his vision went fuzzy. He was sweating and his head was pounding. His hands were shaking beyond control and he felt faint. He dimly wondered if he was going to be sick. He stood up shakily and tried to make his way over to the door but the pain exploded in his head.
He fell to the ground and put his hands to his head. He could dimly hear someone asking him if he was okay but he didn't know who. He tried to answer but his head got worse. He was shaking violently by now and he couldn't breathe.
His breath were coming in gasps. He was choking. He just wanted it to stop. He cried out to whoever was there. The pain didn't go away. A wild thought suddenly came to his mind. His throat was clogged or choked or something. He needed a hole to breathe with. He reached and searched around him and by some dumb luck, found a dagger on the table. He picked it up. He could see someone talking to him. A shrill voice. It was getting louder, more urgent.
God. The pain. It was getting worse. He was seeing things now, things he wanted to forget. He just wanted the pain to stop. He looked at the dagger and with shaking hands, drew it across his wrist, over the old scar. The blood seeped through. He didn't feel anything. He did the same to his other wrist. There was more voices now. More and more voices, all loud. He dropped the dagger to the floor and looked at his hands. There was blood all over them.
He still couldn't breathe.
It was then that some part of him realised what he had just done. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. oh God. He could hear arguing. He heard a voice in the background. Someone was talking to him.
"Oz, we have to bring you to the hospital. The ambulance will be here soon. It's all right."
Hospital. No. No. nonononono. He looked up, his vision still foggy. Then he couldn't feel much at all. He heard more people. The hospital people.
He was being pulled up. He was begging now. Pleading that someone would help him. Someone grabbed his hand. He didn't know who it was. He summoned up the last of his energy. Cordy. She squeezed his hand and smiled. He heard himself saying something. He felt the last of his energy drain.
* * *
Cordelia looked up to see Oz stumbling towards her. he was deathly pale and holding his head. He let out a shout and crumbled to the floor. Xander and Willow ran over and Giles and Wesley ran out of Giles' office. Cordelia crouched down to him.
"Oz? Oz, look at me." She repeated his name over and over again. He was shaking violently and was breathing hard. He seemed to be choking. He let out a shout.
Buffy, Angel and Faith were there now. They tried to help.
His eyes suddenly seemed to light up and he scrambled to the table. He searched around with his hands until he found a dagger that Faith had thrown in when she came in.
He stared at the dagger for a minute and Cordelia knew what he was going to do. "He's delusional." Angel told them.
She grabbed him and started to beg to him. She was crying now. As if in a trance, his breath coming in gasps, his hands shaking, he slid the dagger off his wrist. The blood dribbled down. He cut his other wrist. She dissolved into tears, her sobs wracking her body.
Oz's eyes widened. He dropped the dagger as if it were on fire and started at his hands. The blood had spread.
"Oh God." He whispered. "Oh God. Oh God." He said it over and over again. His face lost more colour. Giles was on the phone now, calling for an ambulance. She stepped over to him.
"Don't."
He blinked. "What?"
"Don't call the ambulance. Don't. please."
He looked at her in amazement. "Cordelia. He could die. He's obviously very ill."
She tried to grab the phone off him but Buffy stopped her. "Cor, he's sick. Why not?"
When she spoke, her voice was unrecognisable with all the tears. "He hates hospitals"
Buffy led her gently back to Oz. "He needs help, Cordelia."
Too upset to argue, Cordelia nodded weakly.
Giles went over to Oz.
"Oz, we have to bring you to the hospital. The ambulance will be here soon. It's okay."
Oz looked at him like a child. "Hospital?" he whispered, fearfully.
"No. No. No nononono." He was shaking his head. She noticed the tears trailing down his face.
The ambulance was there in less than five minutes. They took one look at him and started to patch him up enough so that he could travel. He was still looking at his hands. Cordelia volunteered to go with him in the ambulance.
She slipped her hand into his, ignoring the blood and the temporary bandage. He looked at their hands and then at her.
"Cordy?" She smiled as best she could and squeezed his hand gently. He grimaced with the pain and then looked up at her again.
He said something that chilled her to the bone.
"Call my mom. Tell her I'll be okay." He told her. He choked down a sob and nodded. He didn't seem to notice what he had said. Then he lost conscience .
The paramedics put him on a stretcher and wheeled him out. In the ambulance, she was questioned about Oz. She answered as best she could.
"His full name?"
"Daniel Osbourne"
"Age?"
"Eighteen."
"Address?"
"1354 Oakdale drive."
"Has he taken anything? Drugs? Alcohol?"
She shook her head. "He's on medication though."
"Do you know what it's called?"
She shook her head sheepishly. "I can't pronounce it."
She reached into Oz's pocket and pulled out the container. The lady looked at it in confusion. "That wouldn't cause the symptoms he described. How long has he been on them?"
"He's put on them every year. this year, he started yesterday."
"Mm-hmm. And you say that he took two of these right before he."
She nodded. "But, he collapsed because of a headache two days ago, before he was on them."
The woman took all this down, nodding her head. "Has he any allergies? Did he eat anything?"
"No"
The woman looked up. "Has anything like this ever happened before?" Cordelia bit her lip. The woman leaned forward and patter her hand. "We get this sort of thing quite a lot, dear. He won't be judged for it"
Cordelia took a breath. "Three years ago. We had a fight and stopped being friends and it was his mom's anniversary and he took a drug overdose and slit his wrists."
The woman smiled encouragingly. "And you're his girlfriend?"
She shook her head. "We were best friends at one point. From when we were little until we were fifteen."
"And you name?"
"Cordelia Chase."
"Well Cordelia, don't worry. He should be okay. We'll look over his files, run some tests, find out what's wrong, and he'll be out soon."
Cordelia nodded. "He's scared of hospitals." She whispered. "The last time was a couple of weeks ago. I fell down and I was impaled by a spike. He couldn't come in to the hospital. The last time he was there before was when his girlfriend was in a coma, and before that, when he cut himself and before that when his mom died. He hates hospitals."
The woman paused. "Could you tell me what happened to his mom?"
Cordelia was crying again. She was stumbling on her words as she spoke.
"We don't know. They never figured it out. She just started to deteriorate."
The woman nodded. The ambulance stopped. The doors opened. The woman led Cordelia to the waiting room. "We'll tell you what we know as soon as we figure it out." she promised.
Cordelia nodded.
"Will you be okay?"
"My friends are on their way."
The woman nodded. "Don't worry, dear. He'll be okay."
Cordelia smiled softly. "Thanks."
"Anytime. Now, I better skidaddle. People to pick up."
She smiled at Cordelia softly and left, leaving Cordelia alone.
She curled up in a ball and cried softly.
So, on with the fic
~~~~~~
Chapter 4
~~~~~~
"Cordelia!"
Cordelia jumped and looked up to the worried look of her parents.
"Sorry" she murmured.
Her mother put her hand over Cordelia's. "Are you all right, honey? You've been awfully quiet tonight."
Cordelia nodded, "I'm fine"
She played with her food for a few minutes, her mind clearly elsewhere. She looked up at her father.
"Um, Daddy? I'm not very hungry. Can I go to bed?"
He watched her worriedly for a minute, "I thought you were going out tonight."
"I'm just a bit tired." He nodded. She ran over to his side of the table and kissed him on the cheek. Then she ran up to her room. Her parents exchanged glances.
* * *
Oz collapsed on the couch as soon as he got home. He was feeling strange. The pills hadn't kicked in yet and he was feeling lonely. His father was on a business trip and would be returning the next day, not that that was any comfort. His father tended to ignore his existence.
Oz turned on the TV, glad for the distraction. His head was pounding and he was feeling weak. He desperately tried to concentrate on the movie on the screen but he couldn't. The alarm in his watch went off. He grabbed the container of pills from his backpack and retrieved a glass of water from the kitchen.
He choked down the water, feeling worse than ever. He hadn't remembered the pills tasting that bad. After a few minutes, he gave up and went to bed.
* * *
The next day, Friday, Oz had to drag himself to school, feeling worse than he ever could remember. He didn't understand it but ignored the pains in his head and the nausea. Oz was barely ever sick but he knew that Snyder wouldn't believe him and would put him down for truancy.
The thought of going to school and having to face Willow made him feel worse. He was having a hard time trying to keep away from her. He knew that he was still angry with her and the bitterness from her and Xander's betrayal was still strong and he knew that even if he were to get back with her, it was the wrong time. He couldn't handle it now.
He managed to just about get through the day, with Cordelia shooting worried glances at him and half the school either avoiding him or being overly nice. He knew that it would be like this for a few weeks but he didn't mind. He was used to it.
He stayed in the library after school.
Angel, Faith and Buffy left at seven to patrol. Willow sat at the computer, searching for forgotten prophesies. Xander and Cordelia sat at opposite sides of the library, reading big, heavy, dusty books filled with gruesome monsters. He was reading one of these books as well.
He put his hand to his head as another wave of nausea hit him. When he looked up, Cordelia was standing over him with his pills and a bottle of water. He grabbed them from her and swallowed them in one gulp. He went back to his reading and Cordelia went back to the table.
He read for about a half hour until his vision went fuzzy. He was sweating and his head was pounding. His hands were shaking beyond control and he felt faint. He dimly wondered if he was going to be sick. He stood up shakily and tried to make his way over to the door but the pain exploded in his head.
He fell to the ground and put his hands to his head. He could dimly hear someone asking him if he was okay but he didn't know who. He tried to answer but his head got worse. He was shaking violently by now and he couldn't breathe.
His breath were coming in gasps. He was choking. He just wanted it to stop. He cried out to whoever was there. The pain didn't go away. A wild thought suddenly came to his mind. His throat was clogged or choked or something. He needed a hole to breathe with. He reached and searched around him and by some dumb luck, found a dagger on the table. He picked it up. He could see someone talking to him. A shrill voice. It was getting louder, more urgent.
God. The pain. It was getting worse. He was seeing things now, things he wanted to forget. He just wanted the pain to stop. He looked at the dagger and with shaking hands, drew it across his wrist, over the old scar. The blood seeped through. He didn't feel anything. He did the same to his other wrist. There was more voices now. More and more voices, all loud. He dropped the dagger to the floor and looked at his hands. There was blood all over them.
He still couldn't breathe.
It was then that some part of him realised what he had just done. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. oh God. He could hear arguing. He heard a voice in the background. Someone was talking to him.
"Oz, we have to bring you to the hospital. The ambulance will be here soon. It's all right."
Hospital. No. No. nonononono. He looked up, his vision still foggy. Then he couldn't feel much at all. He heard more people. The hospital people.
He was being pulled up. He was begging now. Pleading that someone would help him. Someone grabbed his hand. He didn't know who it was. He summoned up the last of his energy. Cordy. She squeezed his hand and smiled. He heard himself saying something. He felt the last of his energy drain.
* * *
Cordelia looked up to see Oz stumbling towards her. he was deathly pale and holding his head. He let out a shout and crumbled to the floor. Xander and Willow ran over and Giles and Wesley ran out of Giles' office. Cordelia crouched down to him.
"Oz? Oz, look at me." She repeated his name over and over again. He was shaking violently and was breathing hard. He seemed to be choking. He let out a shout.
Buffy, Angel and Faith were there now. They tried to help.
His eyes suddenly seemed to light up and he scrambled to the table. He searched around with his hands until he found a dagger that Faith had thrown in when she came in.
He stared at the dagger for a minute and Cordelia knew what he was going to do. "He's delusional." Angel told them.
She grabbed him and started to beg to him. She was crying now. As if in a trance, his breath coming in gasps, his hands shaking, he slid the dagger off his wrist. The blood dribbled down. He cut his other wrist. She dissolved into tears, her sobs wracking her body.
Oz's eyes widened. He dropped the dagger as if it were on fire and started at his hands. The blood had spread.
"Oh God." He whispered. "Oh God. Oh God." He said it over and over again. His face lost more colour. Giles was on the phone now, calling for an ambulance. She stepped over to him.
"Don't."
He blinked. "What?"
"Don't call the ambulance. Don't. please."
He looked at her in amazement. "Cordelia. He could die. He's obviously very ill."
She tried to grab the phone off him but Buffy stopped her. "Cor, he's sick. Why not?"
When she spoke, her voice was unrecognisable with all the tears. "He hates hospitals"
Buffy led her gently back to Oz. "He needs help, Cordelia."
Too upset to argue, Cordelia nodded weakly.
Giles went over to Oz.
"Oz, we have to bring you to the hospital. The ambulance will be here soon. It's okay."
Oz looked at him like a child. "Hospital?" he whispered, fearfully.
"No. No. No nononono." He was shaking his head. She noticed the tears trailing down his face.
The ambulance was there in less than five minutes. They took one look at him and started to patch him up enough so that he could travel. He was still looking at his hands. Cordelia volunteered to go with him in the ambulance.
She slipped her hand into his, ignoring the blood and the temporary bandage. He looked at their hands and then at her.
"Cordy?" She smiled as best she could and squeezed his hand gently. He grimaced with the pain and then looked up at her again.
He said something that chilled her to the bone.
"Call my mom. Tell her I'll be okay." He told her. He choked down a sob and nodded. He didn't seem to notice what he had said. Then he lost conscience .
The paramedics put him on a stretcher and wheeled him out. In the ambulance, she was questioned about Oz. She answered as best she could.
"His full name?"
"Daniel Osbourne"
"Age?"
"Eighteen."
"Address?"
"1354 Oakdale drive."
"Has he taken anything? Drugs? Alcohol?"
She shook her head. "He's on medication though."
"Do you know what it's called?"
She shook her head sheepishly. "I can't pronounce it."
She reached into Oz's pocket and pulled out the container. The lady looked at it in confusion. "That wouldn't cause the symptoms he described. How long has he been on them?"
"He's put on them every year. this year, he started yesterday."
"Mm-hmm. And you say that he took two of these right before he."
She nodded. "But, he collapsed because of a headache two days ago, before he was on them."
The woman took all this down, nodding her head. "Has he any allergies? Did he eat anything?"
"No"
The woman looked up. "Has anything like this ever happened before?" Cordelia bit her lip. The woman leaned forward and patter her hand. "We get this sort of thing quite a lot, dear. He won't be judged for it"
Cordelia took a breath. "Three years ago. We had a fight and stopped being friends and it was his mom's anniversary and he took a drug overdose and slit his wrists."
The woman smiled encouragingly. "And you're his girlfriend?"
She shook her head. "We were best friends at one point. From when we were little until we were fifteen."
"And you name?"
"Cordelia Chase."
"Well Cordelia, don't worry. He should be okay. We'll look over his files, run some tests, find out what's wrong, and he'll be out soon."
Cordelia nodded. "He's scared of hospitals." She whispered. "The last time was a couple of weeks ago. I fell down and I was impaled by a spike. He couldn't come in to the hospital. The last time he was there before was when his girlfriend was in a coma, and before that, when he cut himself and before that when his mom died. He hates hospitals."
The woman paused. "Could you tell me what happened to his mom?"
Cordelia was crying again. She was stumbling on her words as she spoke.
"We don't know. They never figured it out. She just started to deteriorate."
The woman nodded. The ambulance stopped. The doors opened. The woman led Cordelia to the waiting room. "We'll tell you what we know as soon as we figure it out." she promised.
Cordelia nodded.
"Will you be okay?"
"My friends are on their way."
The woman nodded. "Don't worry, dear. He'll be okay."
Cordelia smiled softly. "Thanks."
"Anytime. Now, I better skidaddle. People to pick up."
She smiled at Cordelia softly and left, leaving Cordelia alone.
She curled up in a ball and cried softly.