[Cut to command deck of starship. Baxworth on left half of view screen, Rose on right.]

NINA: Captain Brown's on an away mission to undo the sabotage and resolve the Nietzschean situation, but until he returns, I'm in charge.

BRENDA (tartly): Well, aren't you a tricky little thing? We'll get there as soon as we can. [Transmission ends. Stars return.]

ROSE: We're being hailed.

CARL (appearing on left half of screen): Greetings! I'm Field Marshal Innamurk of the Koma-Kastoff -

NINA: We know who you are, Carl.

CARL (smiling): I'm welcoming you to our corporate family. Bright Anasazi has shown his loyalty to us by making you our newest acquisition.

NINA: What?! That's impossible!

CARL: He's also supplied evidence that he's the genetic reincarnation of Colin Museveni, come to reunite the Nietzschean prides and restore the empire.

EPHRAM: An empire ruled by a moron like him?! That's insane!

CARL: Oh, you might think he's a moron, but you'd be sooo wrong. He shoots nothing but net, just like me back when I … yeah. Besides, we have HMOs!

NINA: Shut up, Carl!

***

[Cut to room on Bucks Rock. Mist swirls ominously in background, like leftover fog machine from last (we wish) Kiss tour. Portal in ceiling shows Koma-Kastoff home world. Bright stands in front of Colin's coffin, which sits in middle of circle of pillars. Andy walks in behind him.]

BRIGHT: I expected you sooner.

ANDY: I expected your loyalty.

BRIGHT (turning to face Andy): Oh, sure! Just because I'm attractive, no one takes me seriously! I've spent years grooming myself for this moment. Hell, I've spent years just … grooming …

ANDY: If you force me to make this choice, we can only meet again as enemies.

BRIGHT (irritated): Hey, you have a chance to get out of here alive! And I have a chance to reunite the prides and … and bend the universe to my will! Or something that sounds even more bad-ass than whatever the hell I just said!

NINA'S VOICE ON ANDY'S COMMUNICATOR BADGE: Andy? Our big problem just went giant. Known enemies of the Commonwealth are entering the system and converging on the Koma-Kastoff. If the slip core ejects, we can't be sure we'll escape. We no longer have a choice.

ANDY: We're coming back.

***

[Cut to engine room of starship. Ephram pokes at console in frustration, as if playing that Lizst piece he plays when he's frustrated. Bright walks in.]

EPHRAM: What the hell did you do to this thing, Ana-sleazy?

BRIGHT (pushing Ephram aside): Out of my way, annoying little man! (Enters codes, taps icons, plays screen like video game. You knew those things were good for something, right? Besides an excuse not to do homework? Oh. Story.) There. All yours, dude.

EPHRAM (smiling): Thanks, uber.

BRIGHT (smiling): No problem, kludge. (Wraps hand around back of Ephram's head.)

EPHRAM: So. Is this the part where we look deeply in each other's eyes and French-kiss and start groping each other?

BRIGHT (pulling back and looking sideways): Dude, you've been reading too much of that fan fiction stuff that people who don't get sex read. (Laughs.) Of course, when I become emperor, I could make you chief eunuch of my imperial harem.

EPHRAM (pulling back and putting hands over groin): Overshare.

BRIGHT (smirking): Hey, it's not my fault I'm shallow. The universe made me that way. Besides, chicks dig the bone blades. (Rubs forearm, then puts hand on Ephram's shoulder as they exit engine room.)

***

[Cut to command deck. Andy, Amy, and Trance face view screen, which shows multitude of alien ships converging.]

AMY: The Demians, the Wendolans, the Saerrs … all targeting the planet! It's anarchy!

ANDY (sighs, shakes head): It's never easy.

ROSE (appearing on right half of view screen): The admiral's hailing us again.

BRENDA (appearing on left half of screen): We're engaging the enemy. Stand by for further orders.

ANDY: But admiral! You're walking into -

BRENDA: I said stand by for - [Visual of Brenda breaks up with apparent explosions in background. Various ships fire on each other and planet, then collide, then fire some more, then collide some more … you get the idea. Universe FUBAR.]

ROSE: I detect a slip fighter leaving. It's Bright again.

ANDY: We don't have time to follow him. If the core is fixed, go to slip stream.

AMY: But captain -

ANDY: Go! To slip stream!

[Lights, colors, etc.]

[Cut to commercial.]