Meeting Love, Finding Despair
Chapter Eight
Of Life and Love?
Quistis Trepe stood on the balcony, a thin wisp of smoke trailing from one hand as she leaned out over the railing. She took a drag of the cigarette, inhaling its sweet taste. Her whole life was spinning out of control.
The chemotherapy took a lot out of her, when she wasn't in chemo; she was racing around trying to run the department of defence and foreign affairs and raising her daughter.
Seifer was inside. If she didn't make her choice when to tell him, she knew he'd be bitter when she was next admitted to hospital. That's it, she decided, I'll tell him.
On the horizon, she could see the first of the stars. She stubbed out the cigarette, placing the butt in the bin before walking into the kitchen.
"Seifer?" She called as she washed her hands at the sink. He appeared then, with a tea towel over his shoulder and a goofy grin that would have suited Zell a lot better than it did Seifer.
Seifer placed a gentle arm around her waist as he kissed her on the cheek. "How's my queen this fine day?" he asked with a smirk.
A frown appeared on his face as he caught a whiff of stale cigarette smoke. "You've been smoking."
She sighed. It was now or never that she would have to tell him. Deep inside, she regretted not being straightforward about her illness. "So? I've been smoking for eighteen months."
His frown deepened. "I know you never smoked when we were at Garden. What gives, Quistis?"
Quistis made an exasperated movement with her left hand. Her right hand flew to her mouth, covering ruby red lips with frightening quickness.
She felt the pain come in spasms, so hard and fast that it was as intense as it had been when she gave birth to Shira. Except then, she'd had the painkiller to relieve the pain.
Quistis stumbled forwards, gasping for breath. Seifer looked on confused, until Shira cried out, "Mummy!" in her childlike voice.
As though time moved in slow motion, Seifer saw Quistis stumble headfirst into the hard shining surface of the kitchen bench. He felt his body move into action as the adrenaline kicked in. All he could hear was Shira's screams.
He caught Quistis just before her head connected with the black marble bench-top. She was very light in his arms, almost too light for comfort.
"Shira, call Laguna," he said to Quistis's daughter, "Tell him its an emergency!"
He was frightened. Scared of losing the woman he loved so dearly, who was his entire reason for being in this Hyne-forsaken place. If Quistis died, he would always blame himself.
Shira knew what had happened. She nodded to Seifer, her big eyes wider with fright and yet there was something in those eyes that suggested to him that she knew what was going on, that he could trust her to make the right choice. Her legs carried her faster than the phone call would be answered. Shira ran for Laguna.
Laguna looked up from the mountain of paperwork that had become even greater. He heard the urgent, hurried footsteps of a child. Placing his head in his hands, he knew who it was.
The guard stopped the girl at the door. "You can't come in," he said with a monotone that suggested he hated his job.
Shira looked up at the guard. "Let me in, you big meanie," she said with her most intimidating voice.
Laguna heard the exchange, deciding to step in and resolve the matter. "Shira," he said, walking past his guard, towards the girl standing there in her Moogle pyjamas.
She was so frail and childlike in the moonlight, he reflected, but then again, Shira was only six. "Mummy's fainted, and Seifer's gone bananas," she said to Laguna as he lifted her up to his shoulders.
Together they ran to the apartment. Just as Shira had said, Seifer was bewildered by the sudden fainting spell of Quistis's.
In the time it had taken Shira to get Laguna, Seifer had placed Quistis on the couch, walked into their bedroom, packed a bag of her clothes and was ready to rush to the Royal Estharian Hospital.
"Laguna!" Seifer exclaimed with obvious relief, "Thank Hyne you're here!"
Laguna wasted no time in summoning paramedics to the scene. By the time the paramedics arrived at the door, Quistis's condition worsened.
Her normally creamy skin had gone blue with lack of oxygen getting through to the brain. A ghostly pallor seemed to have taken over the woman's face. Seifer watched as the paramedics stuck an IV drip into her arm, wincing as they did so.
If there was one secret Seifer had, it was that he hated needles. He absolutely detested them. Gently, he stroked Quistis's hair back from her face with his hand, the paramedics lowering the stretcher onto the hovering vehicle that was outside the apartment. They followed in silence, following the hovercraft to the hospital.
He could remember so much that he had tried to block out from his memory. Times when they were young- Shira's age, playing happily in the water at the Orphanage. It was the worst twenty hours of his life.
As the doctors came and went in the hospital, the waiting seemed eternal. Nobody came and spoke with him, nobody informed him. He was a face in a sea of thousands, eternally lost in the void. As he took a sip of his coffee in its Styrofoam cup, he realised, with a sigh, that it had gone cold hours ago.
At last, he looked up to see a salvation. An old, wizened woman stood there wearing a white lab coat and a nametag identifying her as Dr. Helena Moriarty.
"Are you the man who came in with Ms. Trepe?" she asked kindly, as she took a seat next to him. Seifer nodded numbly.
Helena patted Seifer's hand as she prepared her words for the young man sitting beside her. She had heard of Seifer's fame and the rise and fall that had led to his demise as a knight. Yet the grandmotherly instinct in her was strong.
"Is Quistis ok?" Seifer's words gushed out in a slurred jumble. With all the waiting and anxiety, the lack of sleep had gotten the better of him.
"Her condition is stable, but we'll need to keep her in for a few more days. She's due for chemotherapy in a few weeks, but we might as well do it now." Helena chose her words carefully.
"Chemotherapy?" Seifer choked out the words as a blind rush of anger hit him. She was sick, sicker than either of them knew, but yet she refused to tell him? It made no sense to the bewildered man.
He stood up in a rage, startling the old and kindly Helena. Not waiting for an answer, he stormed out of the hospital. Seifer stormed down the bridge connecting the hospital to the palace, into the Training Facilities.
He had his Gunblade with him. It was a good day to die for any wandering monster species that might happen to stray across the irate blonde's path that day.
He ran headfirst into a T-Rexaur. Without looking up, Seifer slashed the T-Rexaur directly where the tough as iron skin was the weakest. The giant prehistoric beast roared with pain as it fell. Seifer laughed sardonically. Even the mightiest of mighty enemies had fallen with one stroke.
As he worked his way through the various VR levels, he found himself calming down. A plan began to formulate as he exited the room, feeling refreshed and slightly hazed.
He would visit Quistis later, just to see how she was. But for now, he knew he had to see Giani Allibrandi, an old Trabian merchant.
A meandering alleyway led Seifer to his location. A stall, just outside the high court of Esthar held only enough jewellery for a simple merchant.
"Seifer!" Giani exclaimed with a chuckle, "Thought I'd never see you again, no?" he said.
"Actually, Giani, I came to ask of you a small favour," Seifer was grovelling for Giani to give him a bouquet of lilies for Quistis.
"A favour? Ask me anything, Seifer, you know I'm always a-willing to give you a favour," he said.
"Can you give me a bunch of Calla Lilies?" Seifer asked with a hint of embarrassment. At the touch of embarrassment Seifer showed, Giani laughed.
"Flowers for the special girl, no?" He asked with such perception that it was hard for Seifer not to break out into genuine laughter for the first time in months.
"Yes, flowers for Quistis," Seifer replied.
Giani handed Seifer the bouquet, nodding only briefly before the old wizened man vanished from sight.
He was standing alone on a stage of crowded people as he stood on the platform waiting for the bus to take him back to the hospital.
As the large oblong vehicle pulled into view, Seifer's smile broadened. He had the bouquet of Calla Lilies in his hand as he boarded the bus. As the bus pulled away from the station, he felt a wave of relief wash over him.
He knew what he would do. He spent the next ten minutes planning what he was going to do when Quistis was released from hospital.
He would propose.
The bus screeched to a halt outside the visitor's entrance to the hospital. A smirk worked its way onto his features as he asked at the front desk where a certain Ms. Quistis Trepe's room was.
As he walked down the hallway, towards her ward, he thought about all the cruel things he had done in the past, regretting them when it was too late to do anything.
He pushed the door open, looking at the blonde head of hair in the sea of dark haired people in the ward.
Quistis saw Seifer, and smiled wistfully. He knew she was sick, and he loved her, his gaze seemed to say when she caught his eye.
Seifer walked over to her bedside, planting a gentle kiss on her lips as he sat down beside her on the bed.
"Hello, Quistis," he said awkwardly, feeling the accusing stares of the other patients on his back.
"Hey, Seif," she said weakly, as he presented her with the flowers. "I suppose you know I have cancer?"