Yes, she's back. You can run now. Just remember to review! *cheeky grin* And yes, it's a cold day in hell, 'cause I'm posting lots! Check out all my recent updates!
Again, thanks to my betas for their hard work!
* * *
Chi to Ase to Namida, Part 11
Cloud entered the main area of his barracks wearily. He'd spent most of the day at Midgar University, and his current state of weariness showed it. He'd gone in to pick up his books for this semester's classes (though, he had promised Zack he would take it easy this semester, so he only had one class), but when he'd gotten there, one of the councilors had been waiting. Cloud had discovered that the College had decided to request he help teach—teach!—a class in elementary gene sequencing theory. He'd decided to take the position, especially since they were going to count it as a 3-credit lecture class for him, even though he'd already taken the course. He wouldn't be required to show up more than once per week, but it had still blown him away. Sure, GST-100 was only an eight week course, but if he got involved in 100, he'd undoubtedly get roped into 101, 102, and 103. Which would be all year.
But those were some damn easy extra credit hours. And he didn't have to pay for them. Hell, he was being paid for them!
After he'd finished that up, he went and said hello to Dr. Souryuu, who was teaching the class with him, and had been the professor he'd taken GST-100 with (via correspondence, from Nibelheim). Souryuu had been absolutely amazed that this was the student who had blown the roof off his curve two years earlier, then he'd been delighted to welcome Cloud to the teaching world. He had congratulated Cloud on earning his degree, understood about him joining the military to fund his education, and been horrified that Cloud had wound up fighting in the Wutai Uprising. Cloud had sat and talked with him (mostly about the upcoming class) for almost a whole hour, before the entire genetic sciences department had shown up and said hello. Dr. Bokowski, who had been the teacher in his just-finished gene manipulation class, had wanted to ask him about some of the things he'd done on his last project, and most of the rest of the department had been interested, too. Two hours later, Cloud had, regretfully, extracted himself from the conversation, and only with a promise to continue it later.
After that, Cloud had decided to do some shopping. It was Saturday, he had no duty tomorrow, and, most importantly, it was his birthday. Having taken Galen's advice to heart, he decided he would do something wild for his birthday. (He had seen the red head at graduation, and he had seemed delighted that Cloud was enjoying his gifts.) He had considered getting smashed, but he'd seen too many hangovers during his time in the military (especially in Wutai) to want to deal with one himself. Besides, the Mako in his system would probably make getting drunk a bit difficult. He'd considered asking someone to sleep with him, just to teach him how, but he didn't trust anyone enough to go through with it.
Well, not quite. If Sephiroth or Zack had shown an interest in him, he would have jumped at the opportunity, but…now that he thought of it, he didn't think they realized what fifteen meant for him.
So he'd settled on going out and buying some 'picture books'.
Yeah, he felt a little guilty, but flipping through the stuff in the store, without worry of getting in any sort of trouble, had been…liberating. Even if the store clerk had demanded three forms of ID, and then propositioned him once he was sure he was legal.
He felt the weight of his purchases in their plastic bag, and couldn't help the self-satisfied grin that appeared on his face. Then he heard the silence of the surrounding area, and immediately scrunched to the side of the doorway, so as not to silhouette himself against the weak outside light. A hand went automatically for his knife, and he forced his Mako eyes to adjust, lowering his lashes to hide the glow in his blue eyes. Just then, the lights snapped on.
"Surprise!!!!" cried a room filled to capacity with his company-mates and what seemed like every SOLDIER on the continent. Zack was at the front of the crowd, and his smile looked like it would split his face any moment now.
"Cloud! Happy Birthday!" he said sauntering up to the surprised (and mortified) blond with a big hug. "You didn't think we'd forget, did you?" the beaming SOLDIER asked.
"No," Cloud muttered. "But I could hope, couldn't I?" At Zack's wounded expression, Cloud smiled. "Yanking your chain, Zack. Ease up, ne?"
Zack's smile returned full-force. "Damn straight! I hope you're not planning on sleeping tonight! We've got food, drinks, games, music, presents…And we're not letting you run off until at least midnight!"
Cloud resigned himself to not getting the sleep he wanted, but he figured having war-buddies there ought to liven things up. Not to mention SOLDIER. There was a table set aside for the SOLDIERs' drinks; since they needed such potent stuff just to get buzzed, Cloud figured that was only good sense, but he was willing to bet money that some poor regular got dared into trying some of the SOLDIER stuff. That would certainly make the unfortunate fool's world a sight more interesting!
There was a chocolate cake with chocolate icing and 15 candles he was forced to blow out, mint chocolate chip ice cream (his favorite! And how had Zack discovered that?), and several small gifts. Most everyone had gotten him something, but most of it was candy (for which Cloud was grateful; he always seemed to need a sugar hit). Only his closest friends got him anything any more complicated.
Ray got him a new whetstone, which Cloud examined critically, since Ray was not horribly proficient with blades, and found very much to his liking, and a choker as a gag gift. He said that it was to keep any lurking Wutaian Rebels from having a clear shot at his throat. Cloud grinned at the reference to the Uprising and hugged the guy who was probably his best friend in the Regulars, once again thanking fate that Ray had made it through the last charge against the massed forces of Wutai.
Reggie, Ricky, and the rest of the 13th Street gang got him a whole stack of new textbooks from the SOLDIER training facility, mostly on tactics, and Cloud spent several minutes flipping through them, before hugging the guys (well, and Amy, who insisted on being called Artemis, and she may as well have been one of the guys. She even discussed girls with them!) and thanking them profusely.
Then Zack presented him with his gift. It was a new Comet Materia, and Zack snapped it into one of Cloud's Materia slots, cheekily admonishing him not to lose this one. A round of laughter swept around the room. They all knew what had happened to the previous Materia (roughly, anyway), and eventually conceded that he could lose it for a cause like saving their asses again anytime. He hugged Zack, too, but also gave him a quick peck on the cheek. More laughter resulted, and Cloud just stuck out his tongue at the room at large.
Eventually, the focus of the party shifted from Cloud specifically, to just enjoying Cloud's party in general. Cloud managed to catch Zack on the impromptu dance floor, and they shared a couple of dances. Despite the fact that many others were trying to coax him into dancing with them, Cloud waved them off temporarily. He had something he needed to ask Zack.
"Hey, Zack?"
The larger man looked at him, silvery-blue eyes questioning. "What's up, Spike? Why are you turning down all those dances. You're pretty good, and it's your birthday; you oughta have fun."
Cloud shrugged. "I just was wondering where Sephiroth was. I mean, every other friend, acquaintance, and ally I've ever had—except in Wutai, and Galen, and Reno—is here, but not Seph. What's up?"
Zack shrugged. "He had to work late. I don't know when, or if, he'll be in. He was planning on coming right up to the last minute. You should have seen the fit he pitched when they called him in at the last minute. I'm going to have to fix the wall behind the door now. He slammed the door open so hard, the knob imbedded itself in the wall. I got it out before I came to help set this up, but the hole still needs to be filled."
Cloud's lips twitched. He could practically see Sephiroth's exact reaction, and could just imagine the terror that must have gone before him when he entered the offices. Then Cloud's impending smile faded. No matter how hilarious the reactions of terrified Shinra execs might have been, it still meant that Sephiroth was not here.
Zack patted his smaller friend's shoulder. "Don't worry. Bahamut himself couldn't stop Seph from at least showing up. He may be ill-tempered and out for blood, but he'll show."
Cloud nodded gratefully at Zack, and rose to take up the offers of dances.
* * *
Cloud stood on the deserted balcony, breathing the cool night air, his drink forgotten beside him. It might have been dirty Midgar air, but at least it didn't smell as strongly of too many people in too small a space. He gazed up at the sky, straining his eyes for a sight of the stars through Midgar's light pollution and smog. That was what he missed most about Nibelheim. There you could see every star imaginable, and their exact colors. He sometimes thought he should have gone into astronomy or Planet studies, not biological Mako science. He heard Cosmo Canyon was a sight to behold at this time of year, or any other.
He cocked his head, listening to the night, knowing that most of the sounds he could have sworn he heard were just the phantom noises Mako enhanced hearing produced. He listened anyway, imagining that the stars and the Planet and the whole of the world around him was singing to him; a soft lullaby only he could hear, sad and slow as only something eternal could be sad and slow.
He heard another song weave itself into the music, and smiled. This one he knew. He waited until the half-sensed presence behind him brushed upon his space bubble, and his whole mind was forced into awareness of the other, before turning and smiling at the tall man he knew to be there.
"Good evening, Sephiroth."
Pale green eyes glowed out of the shadows at him for a moment, then the general stepped out into the starlight. His hair was practically aglow with the faint light, and his fair skin was only incrementally less so. His black clothes were darker than anything else could have been, so even in the darkness he was still clearly visible.
"Hello, Cloud," the other said, moving to lean against the rail beside him. They stood in comfortable silence for a small eternity, staring quietly out into the unending depths of the sky. Finally, Sephiroth broke their lingering silence. "I see you're not inside enjoying your party."
Cloud sighed. "It was fun for a while, but eventually the noise got to me. Too many people. Besides, I figure no one will notice I'm missing for a few minutes, yet."
Sephiroth nodded somberly, then indicated Cloud's drink. "May I?" Cloud nodded absently, and the tall general picked it up and took a small sip. He then stared accusingly at Cloud. "This is alcoholic!"
Cloud shrugged. "Yeah, and I frankly don't see what the big deal about the stuff is. It tastes almost as bad as coffee."
Sephiroth shook his head. "Are you even allowed to drink, Cloud?"
Cloud finally looked back at the other. "Well, yeah. I'm fifteen, Seph." At Sephiroth's blank look, Cloud sighed, resigning himself to having to explain this to everyone he saw for the next several days. /Maybe I should just send out a memo,/ he thought wearily. "Look, I'm from Nibelheim. In the Nibel area, you can drink, vote, smoke, and marry at fifteen. Midgar accepts all regional rules governing that kind of stuff, so yeah, I can drink. And smoke, vote, and marry, too."
Sephiroth blinked. "You mean…you're legal?"
Cloud rolled his eyes. "That's generally what people would call it. What, do I have 'will die a perfect innocent' stamped on my forehead, or something?"
"You're legal…" Sephiroth murmured again, and something in his voice made Cloud look at him. He discovered, to his surprise, that Sephiroth was studying him intently, his eyes raking over him from the soles of his boots to the top of the tallest spike of his hair. Cloud felt himself flush, but not from embarrassment. He felt a rush of adrenaline that felt much like the rush of battle, but more pleasant and lacking the fear built into a war.
"S-Sephiroth?" he stammered, cursing himself for the weakness that allowed his unease to manifest itself in his voice. The silver general suddenly twitched, as if shaken from a deep daydream. He suddenly tore his eyes away, his every muscle going taut. Pivoting on his heel, Sephiroth stalked toward the door to the inside.
"Good night, Cloud," he said, and his tone was so cold, matter would cease to exist when faced with it. Cloud felt as if he had ceased to be, also; those few moments of heart-pounding feeling had had more aliveness packed into them than all of his life up to that point. He had to make a last effort to reclaim that sensation.
"Does it matter so much to you how old I am?" he asked quietly. Sephiroth stopped, but did not turn, and Cloud felt irrational anger well up in him. He knew he'd regret opening his mouth if he did, but it was too late. He just had too many questions, and getting blown off was not an option. "Is Nibel so backward that you doubt the wisdom of laws that have supported it for hundreds of years? Do you doubt me so much, that you don't think I can choose for myself, think for myself? Am I old enough to fight, but not to think? And why the hell won't you face me when I'm talking to you?!" He was really working himself into a fine rage, now, and it cooled only incrementally when the General turned back to him with wide eyes. "Now, what were you finding so interesting about me?"
Sephiroth suddenly became guarded again. "If you don't know, maybe you still need a few years."
Cloud felt himself cross the rage threshold at last. The temperature of his anger plummeted to something that would have given even Sephiroth a run for his money. He suddenly had the ability to reason through his rage, and all that mattered was beating his meaning through Sephiroth's thick, beloved skull. He stepped close to Sephiroth, speaking directly to him, barely an inch separating their bodies. "I don't know what you meant by it, but I know how I want to take it." With that, he stood on his toes, reached a hand into Sephiroth's long hair, and yanked his head down for a kiss.
Sephiroth felt paralyzed against him, but Cloud pressed their lips together, hard, until he felt the other's lips part slightly. Then, he slipped his tongue into his friend's mouth, trying to copy whatever he'd done that Galen had liked so much. He felt more than heard Sephiroth groan into his mouth, and suddenly found himself crushed to the much taller man's chest. Then Sephiroth's tongue was plundering his own mouth, and he finally realized what Galen had so liked…
Finally, the burning in his lungs forced Cloud to struggle away for air. But he kept a hand fisted in Sephiroth's hair. He felt Sephiroth's hands resting low on his hips; his warm breath in his hair; and the gentle heaving of his chest, as he, too, gulped down oxygen. Cloud couldn't pull himself away, so he just whispered against the other's chest, "Trust me, Seph. I know what I want…even if I don't know how to get it."
Sephiroth's hands were suddenly on his shoulders, pushing him back to arms reach. Cloud felt the cold where their bodies had been pressed together far too keenly, but Sephiroth's glowing eyes demanded he meet them. He lifted his gaze, feeling more vulnerable than he had ever imagined he would, even though he knew it was his friend, perhaps his best friend standing before him with naked desire aglow in the emerald facets of his eyes. Perhaps, that was what made it so bad. What if Sephiroth didn't really want him? What if he wasn't good enough? Could they be friends and lovers? What would Zack think?
He didn't think about it for much longer, because Sephiroth stepped in and kissed him again. Relaxed against his friend, Cloud allowed himself to be slowly coaxed inside. They avoided the party, in favor of finding a nice semi-private spot; Cloud's own bed, as it turned out.
Cloud landed on the bed, and stared up at Sephiroth's face, illuminated only by faint starlight and the light from their eyes. "Are you really sure?" Sephiroth's eyes were soft as he looked down at him, pleading for a positive answer, while accepting of any attempts to push him away.
Cloud silenced him with a kiss.
* * *
An only slightly hung-over Zack was looking for Cloud.
Moreover, he was also looking for Sephiroth.
He hadn't seen Cloud at all after he'd seen the blond sneaking off for some air, undoubtedly overcome with the racket of the lively party. He'd chatted a few minutes with Sephiroth a little while after he'd come in, then directed him to the birthday boy's hangout. After that…nothing. Zero. Zip, zilch, nada.
He thought maybe Cloud had gone to bed after seeing the pale-haired general, so here he was, peeking into the room that Cloud shared with the rest of his squad. It was surprisingly abandoned; the only people in the room were buried under a pile of blankets on one of the beds.
Cloud's bed.
Zack's first thought was: /Man, Cloud's gonna be so pissed!/ Then, as he stared at the familiar length of exposed leg sticking out of the nest of blankets his next bleary thought occurred to him. /What the hell is Sephiroth doing in Cloud's bed?/ Then, as he remembered what someone had mentioned in passing to him last night about the residents of Nibel being legal even before the people of Midgar, his no longer quite so hung-over third thought resounded through his head:
/HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!/
As though his mental shout had been audible, Sephiroth's head jerked up from under the covers. His sleepy green eyes fixed on Zack for several moments before recognition dawned in them. Then Sephiroth smiled at him, and stretched languidly, though he was careful not to jar the blond boy still cradled in his arms. "Mornin', Zack. What's up?"
Zack tried to come up with something coherent for several minutes, but all he managed was a choked-off sound of disbelief. At this, Cloud woke up, apparently, for he poked his head out.
"Mnnn, Seph?" He yawned. "Damn, is it morning already. We just got to sleep!" Sephiroth smiled down at him, and kissed him softly. As they pulled apart, Cloud seemed to notice Zack, and colored slightly. "Um…Hi Zack…"
It was so endearing to see Cloud, still bleary-eyed, and tussled from what appeared to have been quite the night/morning, that Zack's shock and impending anger bled away. He smiled at the two of them, finally able to feel truly happy for them, despite his lingering feelings for Sephiroth. Sephiroth gifted him with one of his rare true-smiles, and climbed out of bed. After a hesitation, Cloud followed, albeit more slowly and more stiffly. Zack grinned cheekily.
"You're moving like an old man, there, Spike! Seph already wear you out?"
Cloud stuck his tongue out at Zack. "Biidaa!"
Zack chuckled at the raspberry, then cocked an eyebrow as he discovered that neither of them was fully naked. Both still had earrings in, and Seph had on the armband Zack had given him for his birthday two years ago. Cloud had on the armlet that bore Zack's Comet Materia, and an anklet he had never seen before. As he caught his friend's stare, Cloud flushed a bit more.
"Sephiroth gave it to me," he said by way of explanation. Zack smiled. He was present on both sides of their relationship. He could see how happy they were. And he finally had no scrap of bitterness in him toward them. The great schism that had divided his heart the past several weeks was finally healed, and Zack could see nothing but happiness for the three of them, for the foreseeable future. He saw the openly evaluating stare Cloud was aiming at him, and could feel Sephiroth's longing to include him in what they had, but Zack shook his head just the tiniest bit, smile still in place.
/Not today,/ he thought. /Maybe some other time, but not on this day. Today is for the two of you./
"You guys look like you could use some more sleep," he said aloud. "Go back to bed. I'll deal with whatever comes up."
Sephiroth eyed him a moment longer, then sank back down on to the bed. Cloud, however, stepped forward and gave Zack a tight hug. "Whenever you want, Zack, you're welcome."
Zack stroked Cloud's hair (which was spiky even after sex and having been slept on), then cupped his cheek in one hand. He leaned in and gave Cloud a quick kiss, then stepped away. "Sleep, Cloud," he said, voice slightly husky with controlled longing. The blond nodded and climbed obediently back into bed.
Zack left, a smile on his face. He was looking forward to the next several months.
* * *
No, minna, no lemon. Sorry. I don't want to screw with rating any. Besides, some people get offended by gratuitous sex, sometimes, even me, depending on context. (Bet you never thought you'd hear that from me, huh, SVR? Heh heh heh.) I will write the lemon though, since it is Cloud's first time… But it's not crucial to the story, I'm going to post it separately.
Wow, I guess I have no other notes. Makes up for the novella I stuck on the end of the previous part!
Thanks for reading, and reviews are appreciated!
--Akuma no Tsubasa