Hicky: Hi everyone! My name is Hicky and I'm playing Zelda: OoT for the 1, 2, 3, 4, 5th time I think!

Trent: I'm her writer's block... but I suck at my job...

Hicky: Okay. Note. I've wanted to write this for a while and I just got off the game so, looky I wrote my first chapter. I have another fic that's rather long and is top priority, so it beats this one.

Trent: I'm sure some of you may be very surprised, but please don't voice it through flames. E-mail Hicky if you must. Hicky does not own the characters or any story line from Zelda: OoT.... so enjoy.

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The Shocking Beginning

My father wanted a daughter so badly and then I came along, and I was named Princess Zelda. My mother died giving birth to me, which is actually very sad. But what is sadder is that my father never told me this. I learned about my mother's death from my body guard, Impa. Now, Impa used to play me music to put me to sleep and read me stories, and until I was five I thought she was my mother.

My father never read to me. All he wanted was a little girl to place on a pedestal for all of Hyrule to see. As long as I was wearing a pretty dress and a big smile he was proud of me. I could get away with murder in the castle, but let's not bother talking about that cook right now... I'm kidding! I never killed the cook. Impa killed him for me. See, Impa loves me and would do anything for me.

Alright, now I'm sure everyone is interested in why exactly I had the cook killed. Well, that's very easy. He was working for someone, and was trying to kill my father by poisoning his food. I knew this because I was trying to sneak some sweets when the idiot, also know as Cook, decided to talk to his poison while he was making dinner. So there he was, stirring the soup and murmuring something like, "You're such good poison. You'll kill that silly king dead." Now, I was only seven at the time, but I knew this guy was nuts, and was looking to make my father keel over. So, off I ran to find Impa and I told her what I heard. Now, most adults would think that I was telling a story because I wanted attention, but Impa believed me. She marched right down to the kitchen and poured the cook's poison right down his throat. But you see, I wasn't allowed to watch. Impa told me how she killed him when I was a little older.

So, I'm sure I've done a wonderful job of scaring everyone. Some probably more than others. There are probably a few sadistic people out there. Well, enough about me getting away with murder. As I was saying, as long as I acted like a princess my father loved me. But it's rather hard, sometimes, to act like a princess, especially when you're really a prince. Crazy old bastard...

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Hicky: *snickers and points to the review button*