At 4.50 Sara ran to the river near the bridge and looked for Carter. He wasn't there. She waited a while and checked her watch. It was 4.58. Sara looked toward either end of the river, trying to spot Carter through the midst of people. 5.00
Sara decided to sit down on the bench, she'd been on her feet all day and she was tired. Sara looked up toward the bridge to see if she could spot Carter, no not a sign of him. Sara began getting apprehensive, it was now 5.10 and Carter still hadn't reached the river yet.
Sara was distracted by a couple sitting at the opposite side of the river, together. They were holding hands and were leaning against each other while they were talking. Sara couldn't help but wish that she would one day have a relationship similar to the one she was witnessing across the river. They seemed so in love, so content.
Sara turned her head away in order to avoid looking noisy and she spotted Carter who standing a few feet away. They made eye contact as Sara got up and Carter slowly walked toward the bench. The couple opposite had disappeared.
Carter: Hey
Sara: Hey
Carter: What happened to your eye?
Sara: Sharp object, fluky hit
Carter: Ouch, does it hurt?
Sara: A little. Do you want to go for a walk?
Carter: Yeah sure.
Sara and Carter began walking down the river. The sound of the river soothed Sara's nerves while the people created a useful distraction if Sara needed to look away to hide her emotions. Perfect Sara thought.
Sara: I'll be the first to admit I've been less that honest with you about a lot of things, which I guess isn't the best base to start a relationship if that's where we are heading. But the reason I'm telling you this, is because I hate lying to you because you mean so much to me.
Carter could sense that what she was about to say was difficult for her and that she didn't need any interuptions. Instead he nodded which was code for continue.
Sara: I'm attracted to you, I have been for months now… That night when I was ill and the evening at the ball I was so close to show you how I felt about you but I couldn't. Half of me didn't want us to be together because I was scared. I was scared of hurting you.
Carter: Hurting me? You could never hurt me.
Sara: Yes I could. John theres a lot about me and my life that you don't know. Anway after I've told you, I don't expect you to continue wanting to be with me, so don't feel obliged to, I don't mind if you want to take a few days to think about things. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if you never wanted to speak to me again.
Sara's eyes began to well up thinking of the possibility of loosing everything. Carter could sense it. He held her hand and turned her to look at him
Carter: Sara, whatever it is, you can tell me. Trust me, just like I trusted you, telling you about what happened to Lucy.
Sara nodded and looked away. Carter led her over to a bench and directed her to sit down. He held her hand, just like she had done when he was at her house after the GSW victims had rolled in.
Sara: I don't know where to start. If I explain everything it's going to take ages.
Carter: Take your time, I'm in no hurry. Just start from the beginning. (he said gently)
Sara: Well it all began when I was born I guess. (she began looking at the river, apparently paying close attention to the movement of the ripples)
My dad and J were really good friends, best friends in fact. J was a little younger than my Dad though. When I was born they asked J to be my Godfather if anything were to happen, he accepted.
My Dad and J were well known in the rough neighbourhood, they lived in. There were shootings and stabbings all the time because of feuding gangs. There were 2 main gangs in the neighbourhood and when the fought, all hell broke loose. They ended up injuring and often killing more passerby's and innocent people than each other. They did it to show their power and to keep everyone in line. However there were a large number of people who hated them for it but were to scared to fight. (Sara looked down at her feet carefully examining the interlocking laces while Carter's glance was concentrating on her expression. She was hurting, he knew it. He let her continue by gently squeesing her hand)
My Dad and J however thought that enough was enough. The police were either corrupt or too scared to intervene and the gangs were getting worse.
My Dad and J decided to get a few of the neighbourhood members together and start a team, which would protect the innocent. They began training hard, learning how to defend and fight. Well it worked to an extent. Each time there was trouble my dad, J and the rest of the members would go out and get the innocent out of the way, defend themselves and their families. But in turn they would risk their lives. The gangs were not exactly pleased about the interference and tried to get them to back down. It didn't work.
(Sara closed her eyes, took a deep breathe and continued, while Carter began rhymically stroking her hand with his thumb)
About two years later my Dad and mother died in a car accident. I was too young to remember, J was distraught but he took me in. J also had Ty living with him and Omarion. Ty was new too, his mum and dad had died in a similar accident. J thinks that the accidents were planned, you know to scare them, into backing down. But it made the other members even more determined and more people joined up. Omarion had lived with J for a while. (A smile vaguely appeared on Sara's lips) I've told you before, I had a wild childhood, but it was the best. I had more fun then you could ever imagine. We would do some stupid things in our neighborhood but everyone respected me because I was J and my dad's girl. Everyone knew everyone else, so when a kid gets in trouble the parents know who to complain to. (Sara looked at Carter, smiling)
Sara: When Omarion was old enough, he too joined J and the other members to help protect the community. Now they were even more determined. There had been a few more timely deaths yet it caused more people to join up. But the members never killed, nor did they ever start a fight or fight for revenge. Those were the rules and no one ever broke them.
When I got older, me and Ty used to do everything together. We even got into trouble together, the neighbours would know that if Ty got caught for throwing water bombs at their kids that I was involved too. (sara laughed to herself)
When I was about 10 me and Ty decided that we would join the members as well and we started training. When we told J he said no. He said he didn't want me out there nor did he want Ty out there. He was supposed to protect us and he wanted us to have normal lives. Well that didn't stop us, me and Ty used to train hard. We spied on the guys and copied what they would do, sit ups, kicks, punches everything. We practiced for hours, pretending we were learning more steps.
When I was about 12, I came home from school to find J and Omarion gone. We knew what this meant and the old lady next door, Mrs Murphy confirmed our worst fears by telling us where they were. Without hesistation, we got changed and headed towards the fight. On our way we knocked on some doors of guys who were members but were not on duty. They came with us. We worked out where it was because of the noise. As we got there we saw everyone fighting. We spotted J fighting against two guys who were holding him down. Me and Ty stepped in. We worked like a team and got J up. Then we helped Omarion. Our side became stronger with reinforcements and me and Ty. We took J and Omarion home. We had a few cuts but we were fine compared to them. After that J said he didn't want us to fight anymore, even though the rest of the members were shocked at how good we were. But we continued training any way.
When we were around 14 the gangs were fighting in full force. That year there must have been about 8 big fights and me and Ty went too. At first J tried to stop us but after a while he realised he was wasting his breath. Most of all they needed us. We were really good and had began training with Omarion too. Throughout this time we began getting a reputation. I was named babygal, because I was the youngest and one of the only females out there. In our neighbourhood, they loved us. They'd ask how we were doing, if we would like to come to dinner. J too got used to the idea. The gangs stopped involving the community, for a while. They even stopped giving out drugs to young people in our neighbourhood. Kids from the gangs themselves started to come to us. We understood why they did what they did. The main bangers gave out drugs to them. They became addicted and the price went up. In order to repay their debts the young ones had to join up and deal themselves. If they didn't they would either get beaten or their families would get beaten, their sisters would be attacked and their fathers killed.
J and Omarion helped the young bangers get normal jobs to repay their debts. If then they were threatened by the other members then the members of our side would step in and mark the person as protected. We gave loads of people a new life, a chance to live again. Our community started changing, it was safer.
The stories spread throughout America, through every messed up town, giving them hope. For a while everything was good.
(Sara decided to fix her stare at the tree that two kids were sitting under, because if she looked at Carter she was sure her emotions would get the better of her. She didn't want to look at him, she was too scared to see his reaction. But he was still holding her hand, as tight as ever)
Me and Omarion became close. When we were together, we'd pull pranks or laugh or stick up for each other. By this time he had two kids and was married. He was happy with Lisa and he loved his kids more than anything. Anytime I was down about a guy or anything he'd cheer me up. Ty used to get jealous, he'd ask why I never spoke to him about the really important stuff, I'd laugh. I guess Omarion just understood me. I never had to explain what I was feeling, he'd just know. Everything was perfect, there were no fights, we were doing well financially and our lives were back on track.
Until August 4th 1995. I came back from basketball practise. J was out with a girl and Ty was at a friends house. Omarion said he was out with Lisa and the kids.
I headed for the shower. Then the phone started ringing. I picked it up, it was Lisa, she said Omarion hadn't showed up at the café near the park like he was supposed to. He was two hours late and hadn't rung. She was worried. I told her not to panic even though inside my heart was pounding. I rang his phone, it was a brick but he carried it around anyway. He'd brought it when Lisa was pregnant, so she could phone him if she needed to. No one picked up until finally some one spoke. It wasn't him, it was a deeper raspier voice, and I recognised it. It was the voice of Q, a leading banger from Chicago. I asked where he was and Q hang up. I knew Omarion was in trouble. I called J and Ty and told them I need their help. All the other memebers were at work. I ran into the gangs territory, it wasn't far. I knew where they would be. They always carried out their dirty business behind a restaurant which had a back garden of a dump site. When I got there I saw Omarion pinned down on the floor with two guys holding him down and one guy shouting at him. They saw me there. I began defending myself, Omarion got up and joined me once the two guys holding him down released him. He looked terrible. He had bruises on his face and his legs.
Then it was me and J versus the 3 other guys, but two mintues later another 3 guys joined the other side and we began our battle. It was all a blur really, I just remember doing my best to keep them at bay and causing injury if I could. I was doing well.
In the midst of it all I turned around to find Omarion on the floor. He had blood pouring down his shirt. Someone had stabbed him but he was awake, he was panting and his attacker was lurking over him. J and Ty arrived with some other people, they saw what was happening and ran over. I became distracted and then I felt a piercing pain in my stomach. The guy ran away as did the other members of his group. I fell down and all I remember seeing was Omarion lying next to me.
(Tears were at the brink of falling down Sara's face. She blinked them away fiercely. She wasn't going to let Carter see her cry, she hadn't even let J or Ty see her cry over what had happened that night.
Carter saw her dilemma. He gave her a few seconds to compose her self while he continued keeping his grip on her hand.
Carter couldn't believe it. He always thought that Omarion had died from a disease or an accident. He never thought that his death was as graphic as Sara had described it. Carter felt a wave of guilt pass over him; he realised he'd never asked Sara how it happened.)
When I came around in the hospital, Ty was sitting next to me crying. He hugged and said he was so glad I was alright and that he loved me so much. I knew something had happened. After a few minutes Ty left and J came in and he looked exactly how he had looked a few months after my dad had died. I asked him how Omarion was. I knew the answer wouldn't be one that I wanted to hear. He told me that he is dying and that he only has a few minutes left. I wanted to see him and I finally convinced the adament nurse to let me see him. They pushed me into the room in a wheelchair, even though I wasn't supposed to get out of bed. Lisa was in there, she left to give us time to talk. I wouldn't believe that he was going to leave me, but he told me to shut up while he spoke. Kinda typical really. He thanked me, for giving him time to say goodbye to his family and everyone he cared about. He thanked me for risking and nearly giving my life for him. He thanked me for giving him the chance to die with his family by his side. But he told me never to cry for him, but be happy that he lived a full and happy life. He said that he only wished good things for me and that one day I should find happiness with a guy who treats me like a princess. He told me to stay strong for Will, Tara and Lisa and to look after them for him.
Then it was my turn. I told him that I loved him and that he was my brother and that I'd take care of Will and Tara for them. I promised him that I would make sure that they would only receive happiness and that they would always remember their father for the hero he was. But as I was holding his hand, his grip loosened and he died. He had signed a DNR so they didn't try to get him back. I watched him slip away.
After that I kept most of my promises; I took care of Tara and Will. But Lisa was a wreck, she couldn't handle it. She hated him for leaving her alone. She hated him for hurting her. J and Ty tried to help but she was just too angry. She broke down eventually and she had to go and talk to someone while we looked after the kids.
After 2 years she started becoming herself again, but even now she finds it hard knowing that it should be Omarion picking up Tara and Will from school.
J and Ty helped me through it all. At first I blamed myself but they made me see that it wasn't my fault. They wanted me to cut back on training because of my stomach injury but I was determined to get back to full strength and eventually I did. Many people tried to get me to stop fighting as well but I wanted to continue. I knew that I was helping other people in my own way. The guys who killed Omarion have never been seen in these parts again, they moved away knowing that they would be hunted by the locals.
As time went on I started going out with guys again but like most of my boyfriends they couldn't handle it if I got hurt. So I just kept my distance. After the incident I didn't let any guy fall in love with me, because I knew that if something happened to like it did to Omarion it would crush them, just like it did Lisa. And each time I would get injured I knew that the guy would feel pain.
(she looked at John)
And that's why I ran away. You got close and I felt the same. But I know that if ever J and Ty went out to protect someone, even though it doesn't really happen a lot nowadays, that I would go with them, no matter what. If me and you got together and fell in love, then I didn't think you could handle it if you lost me especially after Lucy. Even if I came back with a few cuts and bruises you would fuss and get hurt. I didn't want you to go through that. But Ty made me see that, that you should know the truth and you should decide what is right for you and that I shouldn't make the decision for you… Look you know the truth now, and I'm going to give you time to think about it. Its a lot to take in. When your ready to talk, just come and find me.
Sara let go of Carters hand and started to walk away. She turned around.
Sara: Carter, what ever you decide, I'll. understand. Just make a decision that's right for you.