RACE WARS
PART 3
MELON SIZES
Here in the second Odds Event, six racers rev up their karts on Vanilla Lake. The racers were lined up vertically and like so in place: Pipsy, Peach, Baby Mario, Bumper, Bowser and Krunch. Jugem sat before the six racers holding up the racing light on a pole as he explained this event to the racers.
Jugem: Okay everyone listen up, this isn't like the last event. This free- for-all is five laps long, but this time, a three on one Flag Event is at stake here. In addition to that, the winner gets to choose to be in the next or following Flag event on the Royal Raceway. You only have Slicks and Mine Boxes to work with, so it does make this icy course even more challenging. Remember, any signs of team effort will give the three man advantage to the other side in the next point match to break the tie.
Baby Mario: Does the winner get to choose his three man team if he or she wins and his team isn't disqualified?
Jugem: Hold on, let me check...
Jugem flies in his cloud over to Taj and DK and tells the two about Baby Mario's question. Both nod and Jugem flies back to the awaiting racers.
Jugem: Yes, the winner get to pick his or her "pawns" for the point.
Krunch: Even who the team faces?
[Jugem looks over to the judges with confusion. Taj nods in approval and Jugem turns back to the awaiting racers.]
Jugem: Rivals too.
Krunch: Oh yeah. Now there's more at stake here.
Jugem: Okay. Gentlemen and gentlebaby, are you ready?
Baby Mario, Bowser, Bumper & Krunch: Yeah.
Jugem: Ladies, are you ready to settle the score?
Peach & Pipsy: Oh yes!
Jugem: All right. the five laps start on the green light.
Jugem held the light steady and went the green light sounded, all six racers shot off like bullets. Peach and Pipsy were neck and neck around the first three turns with Baby Mario closing behind them. It seemed like the two females were like a moving brick wall, but that didn't stop the young baby from trying to pass them. It was the many Slicks that trailed the two leaders the made it hard for him, since Peach and Pipsy were trying to spin each other out on her Slicks and take the lead. Baby Mario spun out and hit the wall, making him drop ot sixth place.
Baby Mario: I have four laps after this one man. Get a grip, there's plenty of time.
Peach: I'm not going to let you cheap me out like in the previous event, Pipsy. You're going to work for first this time.
Pipsy: You said it just how I would have, princess.
The girls stayed like this for the entire race, but Baby Mario noticed a line of islands on the fourth lap that go across the lake and end near the start/finish line.
Baby Mario: I wonder why none of the racers have tried the island shortcut yet... Maybe they're afraid of falling into the cold waters of the lake. By the looks of things, those girls are going to be a moving screen and tie the race. But if I can take the shortcut...
The final lap came up and the baby's assumption was correct, the female rivals didn't change in the slightest. Baby Mario managed to get into third again, but this time something happened. Peach slipped on a Slick and rammed into a wall. When our princess was starting to back up, Baby Mario zoomed right on by.
Peach: Go, Baby, get her!
Baby Mario, as well as Jugem, were a little confused about Peach's cheer for her teammate. But since cheering wasn't a sign of teamwork, it was fair game. Pipsy, who had pole for some time and was ahead of all of the other racers, felt victory in her grasp.
Pipsy: I wonder why no one has come to take first place from... me..?
The racing mouse just saw Baby Mario hopping from isle to isle on the shortcut.
Pipsy: That little brat's got guts. He's taking the island shortcut which ends near the line. I would have tried it myself, though advantageous, but it's way too risky. One miscalculation while hopping from island to island and you're going into the arctic-like drink, which can cause pneumonia. I'm a skilled driver, but I prefer to go around.
Baby Mario: So far, so good. I just hope that I don't fall in the water.
[Baby had two near falls when it came to the "S" in the islands. He made a misjudgment landed him two islands ahead and on the turn. But since he was going too fast, he couldn't turn to the next island.] Everyone on the sidelines saw Baby Mario on the cuts.
Luigi: Baby Mario's gonna' land in the water!
Everyone's agasp as they watched and expected the baby to fall into the water, but Baby jumped over the gap. When he landed, both sides were cheering on Baby Mario. It's too bad that he overshot the last island and landed in the cold water just as Pipsy was heading down the home stretch.
Mario: Jugem, get him out of there now!
Jugem: I'm already on it, Mario.
Jugem rushed to where Baby fell into the water as Pipsy was zooming down the stretch.
Pipsy: Man I wish I had a boost!
Jugem: Baby, where are you?
Mario: Jugem, what's taking so long?
Jugem: I don't see him, but I'll keep looking.
Jugem looked for his teammate some more, but it was no use. Jugem couldn't find him and went back to the group sadly. It looked as though Pipsy had this race won, but Baby Mario hopped out of the water and over the line, stealing first from Pipsy. Jugem was relieved to see the little baby, even though his body had turned blizzard blue. Peach wrapped the cold Baby in her blanket, which rested on her shoulders.
Peach: You poor baby, are you all right?
Baby Mario: I feel sleepy... very sleepy.
Peach: You can't go to sleep now, not when you're this cold.
Baby Mario: But isn't sleep good?
Peach: Baby Mario, you can't sleep right now. If you do, you're going to die.
Peach stopped talking and headed over to the water and dunked his face in. After he was squirming, the princess pulled him out of the water.
Baby Mario: Okay, I'm up. I'm up, just don't put me in the water.
Pipsy: Oh well, I tried guys.
Timber: Don't feel bad, Pipsy.
Diddy: Yeah. No one can win all of the time, including your boyfriend.
Tip Tup: That was great kid, I'm impressed.
Baby Mario: Thanks.
TT: No prob. I mean, you had both sides cheering for you. That's quite an accomplishment for someone your age.
*
That evening, everyone celebrated how things turned out at Vanilla Lake.
Yoshi: Let's have a toast for Baby Mario, the little guy that could.
All: (clinging glasses) Cheers!!
The eighteen racers and the two judges had a nice dinner in the Mushroom Kingdom. They all ate like knights of the round table, happily and heartily. If it was the only thing the rivals of Race Wars could agree on, it was how the food tasted.
Diddy: I have to admit it, that kid had a lot of guts taking that shortcut and winning the race for you guys. I sure as hell wouldn't have taken it.
Timber: Me neither.
Pipsy: I thought about taking it, but what had happened to the little guy was the reason why I chose not to.
Yoshi: So how does it feel to be robbed?
Pipsy: I can't really be upset about it, 'cause... 'cause... I can't really think of the reason why, but at least I didn't fall in the water.
TT: Say, where is the little guy anyway?
(at Peach's castle)
Baby Mario: Ah, ah, ah, ahh-choo!
Peach: You poor guy, caught a cold during that race.
Baby Mario: A cold? Ah man.
Peach: You're lucky that a baby like you is still living.
Baby Mario: I guess I am lucky, aren't I?
Peach: Yes you are. Since you have a cold, there's no way you can participate in tonight's flag event. But the good news is you can choose who can.
Daisy suddenly walks into the room.
Daisy: Is everything okay?
Peach: Baby just has a cold, that's all.
Daisy: Oh you poor baby, how do you feel?
Baby Mario: I fell in water that was twenty degrees below zero, I'm miserable!
Daisy: I'll watch him while you go and eat with the team, Peach.
Peach: I know, but Baby has to do something before I go.
Baby Mario was given a red pen and a piece of paper. Knowing what to do, the baby wrote down his wishes for the flag point which was going to happen later on tonight.
Peach: I'll bring you back a plate, Baby.
Daisy: What about me?
Peach: I'll tell Mario to fix you one. Are you done Baby?
Baby Mario: Yeah, here. Ah-choo!
Peach: Ewww! I have a better idea about this...
Meanwhile back at the dinner party, Mario was bragging about "Mini him".
Mario: I told you that he had big melons like the rest of us.
Diddy: Melons, yeah right.
Luigi: Don't get mad because he has melons and you have to settle for grapefruits.
Timber: My melons are bigger than yours are, Luigi.
Bowser: Yeah, but they're hangin' from a small tree I bet.
(KT, Toad and Yoshi snicker under their breaths)
Timber: I never knew you looked at another guy's tree, Bowser.
(Diddy, Krunch and TT snicker under their breaths)
Bowser: No, I don't do that "cubby," but thanks for telling us how small you are.
DK: Okay, that's enough. I see where this is getting and I don't like it, so let's move on. As you all well know, the score is tied at one flag each thanks to Toad and TT's draw at Darkwater Beach. Now the next flag will be three on one in MKR's favor.
Peach: Hey everyone, did I miss anything?
DK: Ah, princess.
Peach: (\_/) Don't call me that!
DK: What's up?
Peach: I just got back from the castle and I recorded this little thing pertaining to what's to come.
Mario: Who's watching Baby?
Peach: Daisy is Mario, she wants you to make her a plate. Anyhoo, listen up.
Peach pulled out the tape player from her pocket and pressed play. The recording began to explain about what will happen next.
Baby Mario: I, Baby Mario, in sound mind and (sneeze) sick body, have no choice but to sit this next flag out. But I will have my race against Tip Tup on the Royal Raceway on the next flag point. In this event, Conker will take on Waluigi, KT and um.. Bowser on top of the skyscraper for the next flag event that will happen tonight. Well, (sneeze) I better rest now. See you in two flags Tip Tup. (sneeze thrice) Oops, my snot's on the recorder...
[The tape recorder clicks over and Peach puts it back into her pocket. Then, she heads over to the food to Make Baby Mario a plate. Conker seems unpleased as his adversaries smile devilishly]
Bowser: How can I say this simply? You're getting your ass kicked.
Conker: Whatever.
KT: You just don't get it, so let me explain. The three of us have practiced there earlier this morning and have planned our strategies. You're in the Master's Territory now.
Conker: "Masters", humph. You don't scare me.
Bowser: Open your ears, rookie. You don't have a chance of winning to all three of us, especially not on our turf, so you might as well throw in the towel now and save us time.
Conker: (sarcastically) Could you repeat that, I wasn't listening?
Waluigi: Okay, listen to this. If you don't surrender now and give us the flag, we'll beat it out of you!
Conker: (sarcastically) I still don't know what you're all talking about.
KT: Listen roadkill, you have two choices: You can give us the flag now, or you can get your ass kicked and still give us the flag.
Conker lifted his nose.
KT: Does anyone here know how to speak Jackass, 'cause Conker can't understand English?
MKR
Now it was time for the second flag point to be decided. Conker was all alone against three Mario Kart battlers, on top of the Skyscraper and everyone else was inside the building watching the battle.
DK: I told you that this was going to backfire on you Taj, but nooo, you didn't listen.
Taj: I have faith in Conker's abilities, Donkey Kong. He may be by himself, but he will do his best.
Pipsy: It's a good thing you came to watch this, Berri.
Berri: Well you how the saying goes Pipsy, "Stand by your man."
Timber: (worried) Diddy, do you really think that Conker will be able to win?
Diddy: I really don't know and I really can't say.
Tip Tup: I can't believe this is going on at the top of this building.
Mario: Believe it, Tip Tup. You don't have much of a choice, seeing as it's right before your eyes. Literally!
TT: I want to know what happens if he falls?
Yoshi: That all depends, TT. If Conker falls in the center of the arena, he'll land in a black pit. But if he falls off the side... that's where the Lakitu Bros. come in.
TT: You mean there's no safety net?
Mario Bros.: What's a safety net?
TT: You're kidding me, right?
Luigi: Nope. There is no such thing as a safety net here in Mario Kart, just a Lakitu to catch you.
Toad: This is why we have melons and you have grapefruits.
Diddy: You guys mix guts and stupidity up too much, either that or you're all crazy.
Team MKR and DK eye Diddy in resent.
Diddy: Ew. Okay, I take it back.
The battle was ready to begin and the MKR players were set, but Conker was a little bit scared.
Conker: 'Ey Jugem, a quick question.
Jugem: Shoot.
Conker: How high are we?
Jugem: Oh, about a hundred twenty or so stories up. Why? You don't have acrophobia, do you?
Conker: No, I just don't want to fall.
Jugem: If you have to fall, do it in the pit located in the middle of the arena. That way, I'll pull you out of it. But If you fall off the side, my three brothers and I will catch you.
Conker: How long have you been doing this?
Jugem: Catching things is one of the skills we Lakitu Bros. are taught after three months of life. Don't worry, we won't let you fall.
Conker: Exactly where will you be?
Jugem: Right behind you. Okay bros, sound off!
LB2: LB2 here. All set.
LB4: LB4 here. Good to go!
Bobby: LB3 here. Get into place, Jugem.
Jugem: Okay. Listen up everyone, I'm only saying this once. This is a three on one event to determine which team will take the lead. The rules are simple, with the three balloons you have, you must be able to pop the other players balloons without popping your own. Whichever team is left standing will take the flag and the lead. Gentlemen, are you ready?
Bowser, KT & Waluigi: Yeah!
Conker: (sigh) Let's get this over with.
Jugem: Good. Begin battling on the green light and good luck to both teams.
Jugem held four lights on his pole so each of the four battlers can see them out ot their respected places. Once the green light sounded off, Jugem took his place, ready to catch whoever fell on his side of the building. Conker went in reverse and decided to drive around the outside and get the advantage on his opponents. Team MKR were all in the middle and filed out like soldiers after Conker. Conker managed to Pick up a Bouncy Missile.
Conker: There aren't any walls here, what good is this weapon?
Conker fired the weapon behind him and just missed Waluigi, who was tailing the DKR driver. Conker knew who was behind him and decided to ditch his pursuer and succeeded. However, Bowser was now on his tail with a 10pak on hand and was firing away at him. Luckily for the lone driver, every last missile missed him, but a few threw his kart off balance.
Conker: Why do I have a funny feeling that he was missing on purpose?
Bowser: That's right Conker, keep ditching one of us. You just don't know that whoever you ditch, someone else gets the chance to toy with you. You really need to do something else besides run away, Conker. If you keep this up, you're gonna' get 'conkered' man. Haha!
Conker: Don't tell me how to drive. I know what I'm doing you crazy turtle, so leave me alone.
Bowser: All you had to do was ask Conker...
With that said, Bowser stopped tailing Conker, but now it was KT's turn. Both of them picked up Slickpaks and were using them. Conker was dropping them, trying to slip KT up and KT was shooting them ahead, trying to mess Conker up. Conker slid on one of them, but was able to save himself from losing a balloon.
KT: I don't know about you pal, but I can do this all night.
Inside the building, everyone else was trying to figure out what Conker's opponents were doing. Mario: Does anyone else have any ideas?
Yoshi: Four blue coins says they're gonna' 'gangbang' him.
Toad: The three of them knock Conker off of the building? You're on Yoshi. (shakes Yoshi's hand)
Yoshi: It's a pleasure doing business with you Toad.
Ten minutes later, after the three-way game of 'Cat and Mouse', Team MKR have cornered Conker. And to make things worse, Conker is unarmed.
Conker: This can't be good.
Bowser and KT charged at Conker, But Conker got away for the moment. It only took a few seconds for his three adversaries to catch up to him.
Bowser, KT & Waluigi: (impersonating the Ripping Friends) It's ripping time! {boy that was cheesy}
KT and Waluigi let Bowser tail Conker as they set up Mine Boxes on all the entrances to the tunnels. It took a while, but they did it, except for the one where Conker started at. Conker tried to get in, but didn't want to take a Mine Box.
Conker: Great, they trapped me out here. Oh well, I guess I have no choice now. I'll take your advice now Bowser and do something new.
Bowser: It's too late for that now, 'son'.
Conker: It's never too late.
KT: You're right about one thing.
Conker: What the...
But before he could react, Conker was knocked hard by Team MKR, causing him ot spin out and lose a balloon, and the force had also knocked him off of the building, which costs another balloon. Team DKR was agasp at how the MKR racers executed a well thought plan. Berri had covered her eyes and turned away from the monitor.
Berri: I can't watch, I can't watch!
Conker: This is gonna' HURT!!!!!
[The MKR battlers watched Conker fall off the building for a few seconds, then went through Conker's spot and returned to their spots. Twelve stories down, Conker was being lifted up to his spot.
Bobby: You can open your eyes now man.
Conker: (opening eyes) Am I dead?
Bobby: No, you're alive.
Conker: I saw my whole life flash before my eyes.... I need to get laid.
Conker was placed right back where he started and gazed Waluigi who had an evil grin on his face. Then, the thoughts of being knocked off the building flashed into his mind again. After seeing what just happened to himself a few moments ago, he comes up with a simple suggestion.
Conker: This isn't going to happen again... No, not twice.
KT: Hey guys, are you ready to seal the deal?
Waluigi: Oh yeah.
Bowser: Do I really have to answer this question?
KT: Hey, what's he doing?
Bowser & Waluigi: Huh?
(inside the building)
Mario: I don't get it. Why isn't Conker in his kart?
Diddy: That's a good question.
Yoshi: (^_^) You guys are clueless.
Toad: What's that around his neck?
Conker had walked to the middle of the arena with a stick in hand and a white towel around his neck. He then removed the towel, fixed it to the stick and began waving it around. Yoshi had a half smile on his face.
Yoshi: Just as I thought.
Waluigi: Conker, what's going on here?
Conker: What does it look like, idiot?
KT: You're giving up aren't you?
Conker: I'm not waving this thing like a flag for nothing...
The MKR players grinned at Conker's conceding display.
Bowser: As much as I wanted to whoop your ass, we'll take your surrender.
Waluigi: What do you mean 'we?'
Bowser: It's like his friends said. "A win's a win." And I'm taking it, as well as you two are.
KT: Why should we have to take a win like this?
Bowser: (whispers to his allies) Because we can always beat him up later.
KT & Waluigi: I see.
[KT gets out of his kart and starts walking over to Conker. With his allies behind him, they approached Conker.]
KT: (extending left hand) Even though I don't want to do it, as well as Waluigi the same, we'll except your defeat Conker. All you have to do now is shake our hands and seal it, unless you want us to knock you off again...
Conker: (swallowing pride) Sorry Diddy, Berri, my friends, I let you all down. Forgive me for what I'm about to do...
Conker shook his opponents' hands and made his forfeit legit.
RACE WARS TALLY DKR-1 MKR-2
*
DKR
Team DKR headed back to the island to call it a night. Once they were there, everyone had a talk about what had happened.
Conker: Listen guys, I want to say that I'm sorry for letting the team down tonight. Can you forgive me?
Pipsy: Why, you didn't do anything wrong.
Conker: Yes I did, I quit the match.
Darion: That's not what I saw....
TT: (turns to Darion) You saw the match?
Darion: Yes I did. And I'm quite pleased with what you did Conker. Since you look confused, I will tell you what you really did.
Conker: Please do.
Darion: You see Conk, you realized that winning isn't worth dying for. You wanted to win so badly, even with the odds against you, that you almost lost a more important game than the one you're in now... life. When you got knocked off, you told yourself, "Forget it. I want to win, but I don't want to die.", or something like that. Either way, you didn't want to let your team down. Conker, it takes guts to do an impossible feat, but it takes more guts to admit you can't do that and have to swallow your pride in front of your competition. Racer K once said, "There is no shame in making a challenge, unless you can't admit that the challenge can't be done." Even if you felt like you let a lot of yourself, or anyone else down, take pride in winning and losing. Besides, it's better to quit than to die trying.
Conker: Berri, what do you have to say about this?
Berri: I'm just happy you're still with me.
Conker: If it's all right with you Diddy, I'm going to sit out for a while.
Timber: Will you come back and compete in the rest of Race Wars?
Conker: Maybe and maybe not. But I want to get over this now, even though it will take some time.
Diddy: Sure, Conker. Take all the time you need.
Conker: Thanks.
TT: Well Darion, it looks like you're going to be filling in for Conker.
Diddy: No, not yet.
Darion: What do you mean!
Diddy: I have a plan for you in the future Darion. If the other side races you now, DKR's trump card...
(TT and Drumstick eye Diddy oddly)
Diddy: The highest trump card, we won't stand a chance.
TT: What are we, liver and onions?
Diddy: No disrespect guys, but Darion is our 'Joker' in our deck of queen, kings and aces. If you throw out your highest card now, you may lose it later.
Conker: But who's going to fill in for me?
Kazooie: I can do it. Darion: You're going to let the 'Little red hen' drive before me? Come on now!
Banjo: (chuckling) Little red hen.
Kazooie: Banjo?!
Diddy: No offense Darion, but we all know they aren't ready for you. Berri, I want you to fill in for Conker.
Berri: No offense Diddy, but X should do the honors, not me.
Diddy: Haven't you been practicing?
Berri: Yeah, but-
Diddy: But you're a part of our team.
Pipsy: Come on girl, I need another female to race with me. And don't worry, I'll give you a few pointers.
Berri: Really? Well...
Conker: Go on Berri. You've always wanted to shine on your own, and now's the time to shine on your own.
Berri: Okay, okay, I'll do it.
Darion: Okay Berri, now it's time to give you a few basics. Come on, I will show you some moves. You too Pip, come see a few more things.
Darion took Berri and Pipsy to learn a few more tricks so he would have something to do before his time came to race.
Timber: Darion seems disappointed.
Diddy: He is, but it's the right thing to do.
Timber: Are you sure about that?
Diddy: Sure. If my uncle's friends want to race against Darion, they're going to have to work for it.
TT: I agree. Let's see if they're worthy of a duel with Racer X.
Meanwhile, Taj and DK are figuring out what to do next. [Taj is spinning a wheel with all of the courses on it to determine where the next Odds race will be, while DK rolls a D4 {four-sided die} with four colors to decide how this race or battle will turn out. The D4 turned up blue, which meant three on one.]
DK: So how many racers are there in this next run?
Taj: Six.
DK: And where is this going to be at?
Taj: Frosty Village. Now how did the die turn up?
DK: Blue.
Taj: Okay, that means four on two.
DK: But which team gets two racers?
Taj: That will be determined by the roll of the dice.
MKR
Peach: How are you feeling now, Baby?
Baby Mario: I'm as fresh as spring air. (sneeze) At least mentally anyway.
Peach: If you're like this later on, you won't be able to race against Tip Tup.
Baby Mario: Aww Peach?
Peach: No Baby, I'm not going to let you race like this.
Mario: Is something wrong here?
Peach: Baby's still a little under the weather right now.
Baby Mario: But I wanna' race tomorrow.
Mario: Then I guess you should try to get better before the flag race then.
[Mario left the room and signaled Peach to follow. Before leaving the room, she put Baby Mario down for the night. She placed his bottle to his right and his Link Doll {yes Link from "The Legend of Zelda"} to his left.]
Peach: Is something wrong, Mario?
Mario: Luigi seems down about something, but he won't tell me.
Peach: I knew this was about the ring. As usual, my instincts are right again. Everybody goes through the motions now and then, Mario. This is normal, besides, it's not like it's going to affect his performance on the track.
Yoshi: Not that I mind, but I just found out a bit of info on what's going on for the Odds race tomorrow.
Mario: What's up?
Yoshi: DK said that the next one is going to be in the Frosty Village.
Peach: What about the odds.
Yoshi: Four on two and dice will tell us who gets the four racers. I don't know about you, but I'm going to the other side to practice.
Mario: At this hour?
Yoshi: Is there a problem?
Mario: No, but you can do this after breakfast...
Yoshi: (shrug) Your call Mario. Since you want me to wait for the 'morrow, I will wait. Well, I better let you two sleep, see ya' tomorrow.
Mario & Peach: Good night Yoshi.
Yoshi leaves and Mario decides he should do the same.
Mario: Bye.
Peach: Bye... And Mario?
Mario: Yes?
Peach: Tell your brother not to worry, I'm still thinking about it.
Mario: Thinking about what?
Peach: Luigi knows.
Mario: All right.
Mario leaves the castle and Peach locks up behind him. She then heads to her quarters to rest for the day ahead of her.
*
The next day, the racers met up at Snowflake Mountain. Everyone was in the lobby right in front of the Icicle Pyramid entrance. Taj: Okay everyone, this next Odds Event is four on two and they will be decided by the substitute racers. So ladies, please step forward. (Berri and Fuchsia stepped forward) Okay ladies, the two D10s in front of you will determine how your side will fare in this race. The highest roll gets the four racers. Are there any questions?
Fuchsia: Yeah. One of these die are in multiples of ten, why is that?
Taj: So you can get a higher number.
Fuchsia: So what happens if I roll a "0" on this die and a "00" on the other one?
Taj: That equals a hundred.
Berri: Don't you know your die, girl?
Fuchsia: Only the six-sided ones. You roll first.
Berri takes the dice and rolls them, giving her a total of twenty-four. Fuchsia did the same thing and ended up with a total of sixty.
Berri: You're just lucky that I'm a bad Craps player.
Fuchsia: Luck is for the supers.
KT: Once again, you guys are outnumbered.
TT: Maybe, but you're on our turf now.
KT: (sarcastically) Ooh, I'm so scared.
Diddy & Mario: Knock it off.
Taj: Now we will determine who will be racing for each side.
[Taj rolled two of the four D10s to decide who would race from his side and was happy with the results.]
Taj: Berri and Krunch will race for Team DKR.
Taj passed his dice to DK.
DK: Thank you. (rolls all four D10s) Bowser, Peach, Yoshi and Wario will be racing for Team MKR.
Bowser: Ready to race, "son"?
Krunch: Whenever you are, "old man".
Bowser: (*-_-) Hey!
Diddy: Make us proud, Berri.
Berri: Right.
The racers went into the village and Darion was filling them in on things.
Darion: Okay people, you know the deal here. This is a traditional three lap race around the village. Your teammate, or teammates are able to help you in this race. Are you ready?
All racers: Yes!
Darion: Line up two by two.
Darion, as well as Diddy didn't like how the six racers lined up, but they had no choice but to accept the fact that their friends were sandwiched between their rivals. Berri was the only oddball in this race, since she decided to race in her hovercraft.
Darion: Racers ready? GO!
And off they all went. Around the first turn, all of the racers missed the first set of item boxes and zoomed off the boost down the hill. By the time came for the racers to enter the tunnel, Krunch and Berri were behind the MKR racers. From the watching area, Diddy watched in concern.
Diddy: What are they up to? whatever it is, I don't like it one bit.
TT: I hope we win.
Timber: Me too.
Inside of the tunnel, the four MKR racers were lined up like a wall.
Yoshi: Did anyone get a weapon besides me before entering the tunnel?
Bowser: I got a 10pak.
Yoshi: Me too. Bowser, when the four of us exit the tunnel, let Peach and Wario finish the race.
Bowser: Why?
Yoshi: We have missiles man, the two of us can set up an ambush near the end of the tunnel and blast Krunch and Berri as they leave.
Bowser: I get it. This way, Peach and Wario can finish the race while we stall time for them.
Yoshi: can you two do that?
Peach & Wario: No problem.
Yoshi: Good. This way, we can still win the race.
As they exited the tunnel, Peach and Wario went on while Yoshi and Bowser waited for Krunch and Berri on the sides. Bowser: So how will this work?
Yoshi: Wait for Krunch and or Berri to leave the tunnel, and as they head down the track, we'll fire at them.
Bowser: How will we know who's who in this fog?
Yoshi: We're right next--Here they come. Don't waste any more than four rounds each lap.
As Krunch and Berri exited the tunnel, Yoshi and Bowser saw them and fired four missiles at them. But due to the fog, the eight missiles barely missed the DKR racers.
Krunch: That was close huh Berri?
Berri: How did they get behind us?
Krunch: Good question, but we can't worry about that now. We need to win this one, so let's catch up to the other racers.
It didn't take long for Krunch and Berri to find Peach and Wario, and at the end of the first lap, the four racers were neck and neck.
TT: Something's rotten here. where are Bowser and Yoshi?
Timber: Maybe they're lost in the fog?
Diddy: No way. You don't get lost in a race course like this, it's a trap. But where is it?
Darion also smelled the trap and decided to radio one of his friends.
Darion: Hey Krunch, can you hear me?
Krunch: What's up?
Darion: Bowser and Yoshi haven't crossed the line yet and I don't hear their karts.
Krunch: So that's who was firing at us near the end of the tunnel. Thanks for telling me, I just struck lightning.
Darion: No prob, now take this home.
Krunch: Gotcha'. Berri, how are you doing up there?
Berri: Good, why? Krunch: There's a trap at the end of the tunnel. Bowser and Yoshi were firing at us when we left if on the first lap. Do you have a Shield?
Berri: Yeah, and I'm halfway through the tunnel.
Krunch: Use it now, I'm right behind ya'.
Berri: But why?
Krunch: Just trust me.
Berri: Shield's up.
Krunch: Good, now it's Thunder time.
Krunch used the Thunder Bullet he had which shrunk the other racers and Berri turned to the right side after she smashed Wario and smashed Yoshi. Krunch had smashed Peach on his way out and flattened Bowser on the way.
Krunch: Go Berri, I'll take care of the trap and make sure that you have a clear way out on the next lap. Peach had managed to evade Krunch's blockade and pursued Berri, while Wario helped out with the ambush. It didn't take long before Peach caught up with Berri.
Peach: You may have found out about our trap, but this race is far from over.
Berri: True Peach, but you can't take the water shortcut like I can.
[Berri cut off the track and under the waterfall as peach went around the track, it's too bad Peach didn't know about the Slick trap Berri made on the previous lap. The final lap was now clear sailing for Berri since Peach spun out and landed so far into the lake on the left.] As she finished her second lap, Darion cheered her on.
Darion: Go Berri, go! One more lap!
Berri: Thanks, X!
Berri seemed to have it won going into the final lap seeing as Peach was far behind her as she entered the tunnel with a Stealth Steal in hand.
Krunch: Berri, I'm outside the tunnel and I gotcha' covered. It's time for you to shine.
Berri: Thanks Krunch.
Krunch: Take it home, girlfriend. As Berri exited the tunnel, she saw krunch and waved to him. Peach was now on her way out of the tunnel and Krunch wailed his 10pak.
Krunch: Here's a taste of your nasty medicine.
Peach: Nasty huh? Maybe this will taste better.
Peach let her Hyper Missile fly and Krunch took it head-on. He got hurt, but didn't care. He knew even if the missile hit Berri, his ally would still win the race. Meanwhile at the line, Darion heard Berri coming' down the stretch and was cheering for her. A happy Berri was waving to Darion as she came down the line, but...
Darion: Berri, look out!
Berri: Huh?
Peach's Hyper caught up to her and it knocked the chipmunk high into the air.
Mario Bros.: Damn!
Timber: I don't like the looks of this.
Timber had a reason not to. Because even though Berri's 'craft crossed the line with her in it, it landed in the water upside down. Peach crossed the line and saw Darion out in the water to fetch Berri.
Peach: (sigh) I better go help him.
After Berri was out of the water and safely chugging on cocoa, everyone had a talk about what had happened.
Conker: That Hyper Missile is dangerous Taj. I say we take it out for the rest of Race Wars.
Mario: No way! It's no one's fault how that missile hits anyone, I say we keep it.
DK: You both bring up good points about the weapon, but I'm going to side with Conker on this Mario. We're taking out the Hyper Missile, but to make things fair, we're taking out the 10pak too.
Pipsy & Yoshi: Not the 10pak. Noooo!
Taj: I agree. Now that this is settled, let's have lunch and have our flag match afterwards.
MKR
Everyone was now having lunch and enjoying things. Krunch: Hey "old man", that was a nice plan at the tunnel you made.
Yoshi: I'm glad you liked my expertise.
Krunch: That was your plan?
Yoshi: Of course! I'm bad huh?
Tip Tup: That was kind of cool. Anyway, do you feel a lot better now Berri?
Berri: Yup. I'm glad that I had my chance to shine.
Darion: The spotlight rarely shows up in life, but those who earn it get to shine under it.
Daisy: Hey, come back here!
Diddy & Timber: Huh?
Baby Mario: Mario, help!
[Baby Mario ran to the sight with Daisy following him. the baby jumped into Peach's arms and clung to her.] Peach: Hey, I'm not a koala. Get off of me!
Daisy: Baby, come here.
Tip Tup: Well, well, well, are we ready to race?
Baby Mario: No, I'm hungry.
Daisy: You're also still sick, Baby.
Baby Mario: Forget you Daisy, I'm racing this afternoon.
Yoshi: Anxious, isn't he?
Bumper: Of course.
Peach felt Baby Mario's forehead.
Peach: You're burning up, Baby. Go back to bed, you aren't going to race like this.
Baby Mario: But Peach...
Peach: No way. Fuchsia's going to race for you, while you get better.
Mario: Listen Baby, I know you want to race, but I'm not going to let you if you're sick.
Baby Mario: I said I want to race and I'm not leaving until I race Tip Tup for the next flag.
Mario: What's the use, he's never going to learn? Well it's time you learned you lesson. Okay Baby, if you want to race, then I'm going to let you race.
Princesses: No way, he's not racing.
Mario: Ladies, I'm not changing my mind. If he wants to race so badly, then I'm going to let him.
Tip Tup: You're going to let a sick baby race? What are you, crazy?
Mario: No. But that's your problem since he's your rival Tip Tup. Are you afraid to race a baby?
Tip Tup: (*\_/) I am not afraid to race anybody! Let's go kid.
So Tip Tup and Baby mario were ready to go on the Royal Raceway. Everyone watch from the booths, the princesses weren't pleased.
Peach: I'm never going to forgive you on this decision, Mario.
Daisy: I agree.
Mario: Sorry ladies, but I have to prove my point.
Princesses: (\_/) And what point is that?!
Mario: (U_U) "A hard head makes a soft bottom." Since he won't listen, he will learn the hard way.
Jugem: Uh, you don't look so well squirt, are you sure you wouldn't want Fuchsia to race for you?
Baby Mario: I'm fine. Now let's get this over with.
Jugem: Okay. Well you know what's going on here, three laps and a flag. Are you ready Tip Tup.
Tip Tup: I'm ready to show everyone that I've no fear for this baby.
Jugem: Okay, then be careful, especially you squirt and start blazing' on the green light.
When the green light sounded, both racers zoomed off. The race was close for the first five turns. When the second set of items came up, Baby Mario used a Super Boost to whip around the u-turn and head for the jump. Tip Tup answered back with his Speed Shield and took the lead as the two racers passed the first dash zone.
Tip Tup: So far, so good. I'll give him some credit, for a sick little guy he doesn't have fear over his health. Mario was right after all, that baby does have melons.
Tip Tup hit the jump, but he crashed into the mountain and Baby Mario took the lead. Around the next series of turns, his ailment was starting to get to him. Baby Mario: I feel so light-headed, like I'm floating on air. Maybe I should have let Fuchsia take this race. Come on man, focus... but how can I focus when I have to piss?
Baby Mario continued to have his dizzy spells but managed to shake them off as he crossed his first lap and Tip Tup wasn't too far behind.
Baby Mario: I can't hold it anymore, I gotta go. But I don't want to stop... I know.
Baby Mario put his right foot on the gas and his right hand on the wheel, then while standing to the driver's side, he relieved himself while he was driving. {Isn't that a bitch?} Tip Tup saw he display of relief and was dumbfounded.
Tip Tup: He can pee and drive at the same time? Now I've seen everything!
everyone else was shocked about this too.
Jugem: That little squirt.
KT: Talk about taking a piss on royal property.
Daisy: Yes, (stares at Mario) and I wonder where he gets it from...
Mario: (!^_^) I can't imagine the thought of it.
Toad: (!U_U) When Nature calls.....
TT's eyes were covered by his hands.
TT: Is he done being obscene yet?
Bowser: (removing TT's hands) Quit acting like you've never seen a baby's dick before. {Nooooooo, I can't believe he said that. LOL}
Yoshi: That is both twisted and wrong.
Fuchsia: He's not as innocent as we think he is and that just proved it. {That reminds me of the last line of that Pepto Bismol commercial: "Because, you never know."}
After relieving himself, Baby mario sat back into his kart and went back to racing. However, he passed out at the wheel on the third turn and fell into the drink.
Mario: He's starting to learn now.
Jugem pulled him out and Baby Mario's Time Boost helped him get back in place. {Lucky little shit}
Diddy: When did he get that?
Luigi: I don't know.
Timber: I swear he gets all the luck.
Fuchsia: No, that's his guardian angel.
Timber & TT: Guardian angel my ass.
The baby caught up to Tip Tup, who was a bit worried about him.
Tip Tup: You really look bad, kid. Are you sure you can hang on for one more lap?
Baby Mario: I don't need your sympathy. Just worry about the race.
After the two hit the u-turn, Baby Mario Passed out at the wheel again, but luckily for him, he was in the middle lane. Tip Tup saw this and began to worry.
Tip Tup: You can't go on... Hey kid, wake up!
Baby Mario: ......
[Tip Tup shrugged as he took the lead again off the jump and this time, he made it perfectly. As for Baby Mario, he landed with a bounce, which made him come to.] While conscious, he steered perfectly until the s-turn in which both racers fell into the drink, however, our little hero passed out again. He came to after Bobby pulled him out of the water.
Bobby: Forget it kid, you're not racing anymore.
Baby Mario: I can go one more lap, man. Just let me try...
Bobby: Fine, but if this keeps up, I'm pulling you out of the race.
Tip Tup: Ready when you are, kid.
Baby Mario: (sniffle) Ready.
Jugem: Okay, GO!
The two left off at the s-turn and finished the lap. Now, the race was coming to an end and Baby Mario was pushing himself to finish his race. Stubborn, sick and seeing the chariots, Baby Mario decided to make himself endure for the last lap. He Picked up a Speed shield and saved it for his soon to come rainy day. The two racers were neck and neck, but Baby Mario passed out just before the first dash zone. He knew he couldn't go on, but he made himself endure his sickness and was rewarded when he came to. He managed to thwart a Slick that Tip Tup shot in front of him and made the jump, but Tip Tup hit his own weapon and he took a drink as his rival made it safely. Baby Mario was clear for the win and decided to blaze in glory, so he used his savored weapon. Once he came off the final turn, he passed out. his kart zoomed by, but Yoshi saw his pal was out cold. [Yoshi jumped from the booth and ran after the baby's speeding kart.]
Mario: Yoshi wait!
Yoshi: Can't.
Yoshi knew how fast he was going and knew if he were to hit the wall, Baby mario was headed for the playground in the sky, and not in Sky World, mind you.
Yoshi: I have to save him. Gotta' haul tail.
Yoshi ran at full speed after the runaway kart. He managed to pull his friend out of the kart and dive to safety. When the kart hit the wall, it exploded and everyone was in shock. [Tip Tup had finally crossed the line and saw the fire that Jugem and Bobby were putting out and walked over to the people in the booths.]
Tip Tup: Hey, is Baby Mario all right?
Mario: I don't know. Yoshi ran after him in an attempt to save him.
Timber: Look everybody, there's Yoshi.
Yoshi was walking down the track, but he didn't make it back to his friends. He passed out after running after Baby Mario's kart, and the babe was on his back. Everyone sighed in relief as they rushed to the two good friends.
Yoshi: Hey kid (huff, puff), are you awake?
Baby Mario: Did I win?
Yoshi: Yeah, but you've pushed yourself too hard man. Next time stay in bed.
*
[At the castle, Baby Mario was resting in his little bed with his Link Doll by his side and a compress on his head. Peach had the thermometer in her hand which read 112.]
Peach: I hope you're happy, Baby. You won the race, but you almost lost your young life today.
Baby Mario: I'm sorry that I worried you today.
Peach: Just don't scare me like that again.
Mario: Here are some popsicles for you Baby, eat up and break your fever.
Baby Mario: Thank you Mario, for everything. I've learned my lesson today and believe me... I'm staying here until I'm fully recovered.
Peach: At least now you won't be as stubborn as you are now.
Baby Mario: (taking a pop) Yeah. Good night you guys, sleep well.
Peach: You better eat all of those freezer pops too, Baby.
Baby Mario: Don't worry, I will.
[Peach and Mario closed the door]
Peach: As much as I don't want to, I'm going to anyway. You told me so, Mario.
Mario: I know. Maybe now you can have a little more faith in me.
(Baby Mario sighed as he ate his pops)
RACE WARS TALLY DKR-1 MKR-3
To be continued.....
PART 3
MELON SIZES
Here in the second Odds Event, six racers rev up their karts on Vanilla Lake. The racers were lined up vertically and like so in place: Pipsy, Peach, Baby Mario, Bumper, Bowser and Krunch. Jugem sat before the six racers holding up the racing light on a pole as he explained this event to the racers.
Jugem: Okay everyone listen up, this isn't like the last event. This free- for-all is five laps long, but this time, a three on one Flag Event is at stake here. In addition to that, the winner gets to choose to be in the next or following Flag event on the Royal Raceway. You only have Slicks and Mine Boxes to work with, so it does make this icy course even more challenging. Remember, any signs of team effort will give the three man advantage to the other side in the next point match to break the tie.
Baby Mario: Does the winner get to choose his three man team if he or she wins and his team isn't disqualified?
Jugem: Hold on, let me check...
Jugem flies in his cloud over to Taj and DK and tells the two about Baby Mario's question. Both nod and Jugem flies back to the awaiting racers.
Jugem: Yes, the winner get to pick his or her "pawns" for the point.
Krunch: Even who the team faces?
[Jugem looks over to the judges with confusion. Taj nods in approval and Jugem turns back to the awaiting racers.]
Jugem: Rivals too.
Krunch: Oh yeah. Now there's more at stake here.
Jugem: Okay. Gentlemen and gentlebaby, are you ready?
Baby Mario, Bowser, Bumper & Krunch: Yeah.
Jugem: Ladies, are you ready to settle the score?
Peach & Pipsy: Oh yes!
Jugem: All right. the five laps start on the green light.
Jugem held the light steady and went the green light sounded, all six racers shot off like bullets. Peach and Pipsy were neck and neck around the first three turns with Baby Mario closing behind them. It seemed like the two females were like a moving brick wall, but that didn't stop the young baby from trying to pass them. It was the many Slicks that trailed the two leaders the made it hard for him, since Peach and Pipsy were trying to spin each other out on her Slicks and take the lead. Baby Mario spun out and hit the wall, making him drop ot sixth place.
Baby Mario: I have four laps after this one man. Get a grip, there's plenty of time.
Peach: I'm not going to let you cheap me out like in the previous event, Pipsy. You're going to work for first this time.
Pipsy: You said it just how I would have, princess.
The girls stayed like this for the entire race, but Baby Mario noticed a line of islands on the fourth lap that go across the lake and end near the start/finish line.
Baby Mario: I wonder why none of the racers have tried the island shortcut yet... Maybe they're afraid of falling into the cold waters of the lake. By the looks of things, those girls are going to be a moving screen and tie the race. But if I can take the shortcut...
The final lap came up and the baby's assumption was correct, the female rivals didn't change in the slightest. Baby Mario managed to get into third again, but this time something happened. Peach slipped on a Slick and rammed into a wall. When our princess was starting to back up, Baby Mario zoomed right on by.
Peach: Go, Baby, get her!
Baby Mario, as well as Jugem, were a little confused about Peach's cheer for her teammate. But since cheering wasn't a sign of teamwork, it was fair game. Pipsy, who had pole for some time and was ahead of all of the other racers, felt victory in her grasp.
Pipsy: I wonder why no one has come to take first place from... me..?
The racing mouse just saw Baby Mario hopping from isle to isle on the shortcut.
Pipsy: That little brat's got guts. He's taking the island shortcut which ends near the line. I would have tried it myself, though advantageous, but it's way too risky. One miscalculation while hopping from island to island and you're going into the arctic-like drink, which can cause pneumonia. I'm a skilled driver, but I prefer to go around.
Baby Mario: So far, so good. I just hope that I don't fall in the water.
[Baby had two near falls when it came to the "S" in the islands. He made a misjudgment landed him two islands ahead and on the turn. But since he was going too fast, he couldn't turn to the next island.] Everyone on the sidelines saw Baby Mario on the cuts.
Luigi: Baby Mario's gonna' land in the water!
Everyone's agasp as they watched and expected the baby to fall into the water, but Baby jumped over the gap. When he landed, both sides were cheering on Baby Mario. It's too bad that he overshot the last island and landed in the cold water just as Pipsy was heading down the home stretch.
Mario: Jugem, get him out of there now!
Jugem: I'm already on it, Mario.
Jugem rushed to where Baby fell into the water as Pipsy was zooming down the stretch.
Pipsy: Man I wish I had a boost!
Jugem: Baby, where are you?
Mario: Jugem, what's taking so long?
Jugem: I don't see him, but I'll keep looking.
Jugem looked for his teammate some more, but it was no use. Jugem couldn't find him and went back to the group sadly. It looked as though Pipsy had this race won, but Baby Mario hopped out of the water and over the line, stealing first from Pipsy. Jugem was relieved to see the little baby, even though his body had turned blizzard blue. Peach wrapped the cold Baby in her blanket, which rested on her shoulders.
Peach: You poor baby, are you all right?
Baby Mario: I feel sleepy... very sleepy.
Peach: You can't go to sleep now, not when you're this cold.
Baby Mario: But isn't sleep good?
Peach: Baby Mario, you can't sleep right now. If you do, you're going to die.
Peach stopped talking and headed over to the water and dunked his face in. After he was squirming, the princess pulled him out of the water.
Baby Mario: Okay, I'm up. I'm up, just don't put me in the water.
Pipsy: Oh well, I tried guys.
Timber: Don't feel bad, Pipsy.
Diddy: Yeah. No one can win all of the time, including your boyfriend.
Tip Tup: That was great kid, I'm impressed.
Baby Mario: Thanks.
TT: No prob. I mean, you had both sides cheering for you. That's quite an accomplishment for someone your age.
*
That evening, everyone celebrated how things turned out at Vanilla Lake.
Yoshi: Let's have a toast for Baby Mario, the little guy that could.
All: (clinging glasses) Cheers!!
The eighteen racers and the two judges had a nice dinner in the Mushroom Kingdom. They all ate like knights of the round table, happily and heartily. If it was the only thing the rivals of Race Wars could agree on, it was how the food tasted.
Diddy: I have to admit it, that kid had a lot of guts taking that shortcut and winning the race for you guys. I sure as hell wouldn't have taken it.
Timber: Me neither.
Pipsy: I thought about taking it, but what had happened to the little guy was the reason why I chose not to.
Yoshi: So how does it feel to be robbed?
Pipsy: I can't really be upset about it, 'cause... 'cause... I can't really think of the reason why, but at least I didn't fall in the water.
TT: Say, where is the little guy anyway?
(at Peach's castle)
Baby Mario: Ah, ah, ah, ahh-choo!
Peach: You poor guy, caught a cold during that race.
Baby Mario: A cold? Ah man.
Peach: You're lucky that a baby like you is still living.
Baby Mario: I guess I am lucky, aren't I?
Peach: Yes you are. Since you have a cold, there's no way you can participate in tonight's flag event. But the good news is you can choose who can.
Daisy suddenly walks into the room.
Daisy: Is everything okay?
Peach: Baby just has a cold, that's all.
Daisy: Oh you poor baby, how do you feel?
Baby Mario: I fell in water that was twenty degrees below zero, I'm miserable!
Daisy: I'll watch him while you go and eat with the team, Peach.
Peach: I know, but Baby has to do something before I go.
Baby Mario was given a red pen and a piece of paper. Knowing what to do, the baby wrote down his wishes for the flag point which was going to happen later on tonight.
Peach: I'll bring you back a plate, Baby.
Daisy: What about me?
Peach: I'll tell Mario to fix you one. Are you done Baby?
Baby Mario: Yeah, here. Ah-choo!
Peach: Ewww! I have a better idea about this...
Meanwhile back at the dinner party, Mario was bragging about "Mini him".
Mario: I told you that he had big melons like the rest of us.
Diddy: Melons, yeah right.
Luigi: Don't get mad because he has melons and you have to settle for grapefruits.
Timber: My melons are bigger than yours are, Luigi.
Bowser: Yeah, but they're hangin' from a small tree I bet.
(KT, Toad and Yoshi snicker under their breaths)
Timber: I never knew you looked at another guy's tree, Bowser.
(Diddy, Krunch and TT snicker under their breaths)
Bowser: No, I don't do that "cubby," but thanks for telling us how small you are.
DK: Okay, that's enough. I see where this is getting and I don't like it, so let's move on. As you all well know, the score is tied at one flag each thanks to Toad and TT's draw at Darkwater Beach. Now the next flag will be three on one in MKR's favor.
Peach: Hey everyone, did I miss anything?
DK: Ah, princess.
Peach: (\_/) Don't call me that!
DK: What's up?
Peach: I just got back from the castle and I recorded this little thing pertaining to what's to come.
Mario: Who's watching Baby?
Peach: Daisy is Mario, she wants you to make her a plate. Anyhoo, listen up.
Peach pulled out the tape player from her pocket and pressed play. The recording began to explain about what will happen next.
Baby Mario: I, Baby Mario, in sound mind and (sneeze) sick body, have no choice but to sit this next flag out. But I will have my race against Tip Tup on the Royal Raceway on the next flag point. In this event, Conker will take on Waluigi, KT and um.. Bowser on top of the skyscraper for the next flag event that will happen tonight. Well, (sneeze) I better rest now. See you in two flags Tip Tup. (sneeze thrice) Oops, my snot's on the recorder...
[The tape recorder clicks over and Peach puts it back into her pocket. Then, she heads over to the food to Make Baby Mario a plate. Conker seems unpleased as his adversaries smile devilishly]
Bowser: How can I say this simply? You're getting your ass kicked.
Conker: Whatever.
KT: You just don't get it, so let me explain. The three of us have practiced there earlier this morning and have planned our strategies. You're in the Master's Territory now.
Conker: "Masters", humph. You don't scare me.
Bowser: Open your ears, rookie. You don't have a chance of winning to all three of us, especially not on our turf, so you might as well throw in the towel now and save us time.
Conker: (sarcastically) Could you repeat that, I wasn't listening?
Waluigi: Okay, listen to this. If you don't surrender now and give us the flag, we'll beat it out of you!
Conker: (sarcastically) I still don't know what you're all talking about.
KT: Listen roadkill, you have two choices: You can give us the flag now, or you can get your ass kicked and still give us the flag.
Conker lifted his nose.
KT: Does anyone here know how to speak Jackass, 'cause Conker can't understand English?
MKR
Now it was time for the second flag point to be decided. Conker was all alone against three Mario Kart battlers, on top of the Skyscraper and everyone else was inside the building watching the battle.
DK: I told you that this was going to backfire on you Taj, but nooo, you didn't listen.
Taj: I have faith in Conker's abilities, Donkey Kong. He may be by himself, but he will do his best.
Pipsy: It's a good thing you came to watch this, Berri.
Berri: Well you how the saying goes Pipsy, "Stand by your man."
Timber: (worried) Diddy, do you really think that Conker will be able to win?
Diddy: I really don't know and I really can't say.
Tip Tup: I can't believe this is going on at the top of this building.
Mario: Believe it, Tip Tup. You don't have much of a choice, seeing as it's right before your eyes. Literally!
TT: I want to know what happens if he falls?
Yoshi: That all depends, TT. If Conker falls in the center of the arena, he'll land in a black pit. But if he falls off the side... that's where the Lakitu Bros. come in.
TT: You mean there's no safety net?
Mario Bros.: What's a safety net?
TT: You're kidding me, right?
Luigi: Nope. There is no such thing as a safety net here in Mario Kart, just a Lakitu to catch you.
Toad: This is why we have melons and you have grapefruits.
Diddy: You guys mix guts and stupidity up too much, either that or you're all crazy.
Team MKR and DK eye Diddy in resent.
Diddy: Ew. Okay, I take it back.
The battle was ready to begin and the MKR players were set, but Conker was a little bit scared.
Conker: 'Ey Jugem, a quick question.
Jugem: Shoot.
Conker: How high are we?
Jugem: Oh, about a hundred twenty or so stories up. Why? You don't have acrophobia, do you?
Conker: No, I just don't want to fall.
Jugem: If you have to fall, do it in the pit located in the middle of the arena. That way, I'll pull you out of it. But If you fall off the side, my three brothers and I will catch you.
Conker: How long have you been doing this?
Jugem: Catching things is one of the skills we Lakitu Bros. are taught after three months of life. Don't worry, we won't let you fall.
Conker: Exactly where will you be?
Jugem: Right behind you. Okay bros, sound off!
LB2: LB2 here. All set.
LB4: LB4 here. Good to go!
Bobby: LB3 here. Get into place, Jugem.
Jugem: Okay. Listen up everyone, I'm only saying this once. This is a three on one event to determine which team will take the lead. The rules are simple, with the three balloons you have, you must be able to pop the other players balloons without popping your own. Whichever team is left standing will take the flag and the lead. Gentlemen, are you ready?
Bowser, KT & Waluigi: Yeah!
Conker: (sigh) Let's get this over with.
Jugem: Good. Begin battling on the green light and good luck to both teams.
Jugem held four lights on his pole so each of the four battlers can see them out ot their respected places. Once the green light sounded off, Jugem took his place, ready to catch whoever fell on his side of the building. Conker went in reverse and decided to drive around the outside and get the advantage on his opponents. Team MKR were all in the middle and filed out like soldiers after Conker. Conker managed to Pick up a Bouncy Missile.
Conker: There aren't any walls here, what good is this weapon?
Conker fired the weapon behind him and just missed Waluigi, who was tailing the DKR driver. Conker knew who was behind him and decided to ditch his pursuer and succeeded. However, Bowser was now on his tail with a 10pak on hand and was firing away at him. Luckily for the lone driver, every last missile missed him, but a few threw his kart off balance.
Conker: Why do I have a funny feeling that he was missing on purpose?
Bowser: That's right Conker, keep ditching one of us. You just don't know that whoever you ditch, someone else gets the chance to toy with you. You really need to do something else besides run away, Conker. If you keep this up, you're gonna' get 'conkered' man. Haha!
Conker: Don't tell me how to drive. I know what I'm doing you crazy turtle, so leave me alone.
Bowser: All you had to do was ask Conker...
With that said, Bowser stopped tailing Conker, but now it was KT's turn. Both of them picked up Slickpaks and were using them. Conker was dropping them, trying to slip KT up and KT was shooting them ahead, trying to mess Conker up. Conker slid on one of them, but was able to save himself from losing a balloon.
KT: I don't know about you pal, but I can do this all night.
Inside the building, everyone else was trying to figure out what Conker's opponents were doing. Mario: Does anyone else have any ideas?
Yoshi: Four blue coins says they're gonna' 'gangbang' him.
Toad: The three of them knock Conker off of the building? You're on Yoshi. (shakes Yoshi's hand)
Yoshi: It's a pleasure doing business with you Toad.
Ten minutes later, after the three-way game of 'Cat and Mouse', Team MKR have cornered Conker. And to make things worse, Conker is unarmed.
Conker: This can't be good.
Bowser and KT charged at Conker, But Conker got away for the moment. It only took a few seconds for his three adversaries to catch up to him.
Bowser, KT & Waluigi: (impersonating the Ripping Friends) It's ripping time! {boy that was cheesy}
KT and Waluigi let Bowser tail Conker as they set up Mine Boxes on all the entrances to the tunnels. It took a while, but they did it, except for the one where Conker started at. Conker tried to get in, but didn't want to take a Mine Box.
Conker: Great, they trapped me out here. Oh well, I guess I have no choice now. I'll take your advice now Bowser and do something new.
Bowser: It's too late for that now, 'son'.
Conker: It's never too late.
KT: You're right about one thing.
Conker: What the...
But before he could react, Conker was knocked hard by Team MKR, causing him ot spin out and lose a balloon, and the force had also knocked him off of the building, which costs another balloon. Team DKR was agasp at how the MKR racers executed a well thought plan. Berri had covered her eyes and turned away from the monitor.
Berri: I can't watch, I can't watch!
Conker: This is gonna' HURT!!!!!
[The MKR battlers watched Conker fall off the building for a few seconds, then went through Conker's spot and returned to their spots. Twelve stories down, Conker was being lifted up to his spot.
Bobby: You can open your eyes now man.
Conker: (opening eyes) Am I dead?
Bobby: No, you're alive.
Conker: I saw my whole life flash before my eyes.... I need to get laid.
Conker was placed right back where he started and gazed Waluigi who had an evil grin on his face. Then, the thoughts of being knocked off the building flashed into his mind again. After seeing what just happened to himself a few moments ago, he comes up with a simple suggestion.
Conker: This isn't going to happen again... No, not twice.
KT: Hey guys, are you ready to seal the deal?
Waluigi: Oh yeah.
Bowser: Do I really have to answer this question?
KT: Hey, what's he doing?
Bowser & Waluigi: Huh?
(inside the building)
Mario: I don't get it. Why isn't Conker in his kart?
Diddy: That's a good question.
Yoshi: (^_^) You guys are clueless.
Toad: What's that around his neck?
Conker had walked to the middle of the arena with a stick in hand and a white towel around his neck. He then removed the towel, fixed it to the stick and began waving it around. Yoshi had a half smile on his face.
Yoshi: Just as I thought.
Waluigi: Conker, what's going on here?
Conker: What does it look like, idiot?
KT: You're giving up aren't you?
Conker: I'm not waving this thing like a flag for nothing...
The MKR players grinned at Conker's conceding display.
Bowser: As much as I wanted to whoop your ass, we'll take your surrender.
Waluigi: What do you mean 'we?'
Bowser: It's like his friends said. "A win's a win." And I'm taking it, as well as you two are.
KT: Why should we have to take a win like this?
Bowser: (whispers to his allies) Because we can always beat him up later.
KT & Waluigi: I see.
[KT gets out of his kart and starts walking over to Conker. With his allies behind him, they approached Conker.]
KT: (extending left hand) Even though I don't want to do it, as well as Waluigi the same, we'll except your defeat Conker. All you have to do now is shake our hands and seal it, unless you want us to knock you off again...
Conker: (swallowing pride) Sorry Diddy, Berri, my friends, I let you all down. Forgive me for what I'm about to do...
Conker shook his opponents' hands and made his forfeit legit.
RACE WARS TALLY DKR-1 MKR-2
*
DKR
Team DKR headed back to the island to call it a night. Once they were there, everyone had a talk about what had happened.
Conker: Listen guys, I want to say that I'm sorry for letting the team down tonight. Can you forgive me?
Pipsy: Why, you didn't do anything wrong.
Conker: Yes I did, I quit the match.
Darion: That's not what I saw....
TT: (turns to Darion) You saw the match?
Darion: Yes I did. And I'm quite pleased with what you did Conker. Since you look confused, I will tell you what you really did.
Conker: Please do.
Darion: You see Conk, you realized that winning isn't worth dying for. You wanted to win so badly, even with the odds against you, that you almost lost a more important game than the one you're in now... life. When you got knocked off, you told yourself, "Forget it. I want to win, but I don't want to die.", or something like that. Either way, you didn't want to let your team down. Conker, it takes guts to do an impossible feat, but it takes more guts to admit you can't do that and have to swallow your pride in front of your competition. Racer K once said, "There is no shame in making a challenge, unless you can't admit that the challenge can't be done." Even if you felt like you let a lot of yourself, or anyone else down, take pride in winning and losing. Besides, it's better to quit than to die trying.
Conker: Berri, what do you have to say about this?
Berri: I'm just happy you're still with me.
Conker: If it's all right with you Diddy, I'm going to sit out for a while.
Timber: Will you come back and compete in the rest of Race Wars?
Conker: Maybe and maybe not. But I want to get over this now, even though it will take some time.
Diddy: Sure, Conker. Take all the time you need.
Conker: Thanks.
TT: Well Darion, it looks like you're going to be filling in for Conker.
Diddy: No, not yet.
Darion: What do you mean!
Diddy: I have a plan for you in the future Darion. If the other side races you now, DKR's trump card...
(TT and Drumstick eye Diddy oddly)
Diddy: The highest trump card, we won't stand a chance.
TT: What are we, liver and onions?
Diddy: No disrespect guys, but Darion is our 'Joker' in our deck of queen, kings and aces. If you throw out your highest card now, you may lose it later.
Conker: But who's going to fill in for me?
Kazooie: I can do it. Darion: You're going to let the 'Little red hen' drive before me? Come on now!
Banjo: (chuckling) Little red hen.
Kazooie: Banjo?!
Diddy: No offense Darion, but we all know they aren't ready for you. Berri, I want you to fill in for Conker.
Berri: No offense Diddy, but X should do the honors, not me.
Diddy: Haven't you been practicing?
Berri: Yeah, but-
Diddy: But you're a part of our team.
Pipsy: Come on girl, I need another female to race with me. And don't worry, I'll give you a few pointers.
Berri: Really? Well...
Conker: Go on Berri. You've always wanted to shine on your own, and now's the time to shine on your own.
Berri: Okay, okay, I'll do it.
Darion: Okay Berri, now it's time to give you a few basics. Come on, I will show you some moves. You too Pip, come see a few more things.
Darion took Berri and Pipsy to learn a few more tricks so he would have something to do before his time came to race.
Timber: Darion seems disappointed.
Diddy: He is, but it's the right thing to do.
Timber: Are you sure about that?
Diddy: Sure. If my uncle's friends want to race against Darion, they're going to have to work for it.
TT: I agree. Let's see if they're worthy of a duel with Racer X.
Meanwhile, Taj and DK are figuring out what to do next. [Taj is spinning a wheel with all of the courses on it to determine where the next Odds race will be, while DK rolls a D4 {four-sided die} with four colors to decide how this race or battle will turn out. The D4 turned up blue, which meant three on one.]
DK: So how many racers are there in this next run?
Taj: Six.
DK: And where is this going to be at?
Taj: Frosty Village. Now how did the die turn up?
DK: Blue.
Taj: Okay, that means four on two.
DK: But which team gets two racers?
Taj: That will be determined by the roll of the dice.
MKR
Peach: How are you feeling now, Baby?
Baby Mario: I'm as fresh as spring air. (sneeze) At least mentally anyway.
Peach: If you're like this later on, you won't be able to race against Tip Tup.
Baby Mario: Aww Peach?
Peach: No Baby, I'm not going to let you race like this.
Mario: Is something wrong here?
Peach: Baby's still a little under the weather right now.
Baby Mario: But I wanna' race tomorrow.
Mario: Then I guess you should try to get better before the flag race then.
[Mario left the room and signaled Peach to follow. Before leaving the room, she put Baby Mario down for the night. She placed his bottle to his right and his Link Doll {yes Link from "The Legend of Zelda"} to his left.]
Peach: Is something wrong, Mario?
Mario: Luigi seems down about something, but he won't tell me.
Peach: I knew this was about the ring. As usual, my instincts are right again. Everybody goes through the motions now and then, Mario. This is normal, besides, it's not like it's going to affect his performance on the track.
Yoshi: Not that I mind, but I just found out a bit of info on what's going on for the Odds race tomorrow.
Mario: What's up?
Yoshi: DK said that the next one is going to be in the Frosty Village.
Peach: What about the odds.
Yoshi: Four on two and dice will tell us who gets the four racers. I don't know about you, but I'm going to the other side to practice.
Mario: At this hour?
Yoshi: Is there a problem?
Mario: No, but you can do this after breakfast...
Yoshi: (shrug) Your call Mario. Since you want me to wait for the 'morrow, I will wait. Well, I better let you two sleep, see ya' tomorrow.
Mario & Peach: Good night Yoshi.
Yoshi leaves and Mario decides he should do the same.
Mario: Bye.
Peach: Bye... And Mario?
Mario: Yes?
Peach: Tell your brother not to worry, I'm still thinking about it.
Mario: Thinking about what?
Peach: Luigi knows.
Mario: All right.
Mario leaves the castle and Peach locks up behind him. She then heads to her quarters to rest for the day ahead of her.
*
The next day, the racers met up at Snowflake Mountain. Everyone was in the lobby right in front of the Icicle Pyramid entrance. Taj: Okay everyone, this next Odds Event is four on two and they will be decided by the substitute racers. So ladies, please step forward. (Berri and Fuchsia stepped forward) Okay ladies, the two D10s in front of you will determine how your side will fare in this race. The highest roll gets the four racers. Are there any questions?
Fuchsia: Yeah. One of these die are in multiples of ten, why is that?
Taj: So you can get a higher number.
Fuchsia: So what happens if I roll a "0" on this die and a "00" on the other one?
Taj: That equals a hundred.
Berri: Don't you know your die, girl?
Fuchsia: Only the six-sided ones. You roll first.
Berri takes the dice and rolls them, giving her a total of twenty-four. Fuchsia did the same thing and ended up with a total of sixty.
Berri: You're just lucky that I'm a bad Craps player.
Fuchsia: Luck is for the supers.
KT: Once again, you guys are outnumbered.
TT: Maybe, but you're on our turf now.
KT: (sarcastically) Ooh, I'm so scared.
Diddy & Mario: Knock it off.
Taj: Now we will determine who will be racing for each side.
[Taj rolled two of the four D10s to decide who would race from his side and was happy with the results.]
Taj: Berri and Krunch will race for Team DKR.
Taj passed his dice to DK.
DK: Thank you. (rolls all four D10s) Bowser, Peach, Yoshi and Wario will be racing for Team MKR.
Bowser: Ready to race, "son"?
Krunch: Whenever you are, "old man".
Bowser: (*-_-) Hey!
Diddy: Make us proud, Berri.
Berri: Right.
The racers went into the village and Darion was filling them in on things.
Darion: Okay people, you know the deal here. This is a traditional three lap race around the village. Your teammate, or teammates are able to help you in this race. Are you ready?
All racers: Yes!
Darion: Line up two by two.
Darion, as well as Diddy didn't like how the six racers lined up, but they had no choice but to accept the fact that their friends were sandwiched between their rivals. Berri was the only oddball in this race, since she decided to race in her hovercraft.
Darion: Racers ready? GO!
And off they all went. Around the first turn, all of the racers missed the first set of item boxes and zoomed off the boost down the hill. By the time came for the racers to enter the tunnel, Krunch and Berri were behind the MKR racers. From the watching area, Diddy watched in concern.
Diddy: What are they up to? whatever it is, I don't like it one bit.
TT: I hope we win.
Timber: Me too.
Inside of the tunnel, the four MKR racers were lined up like a wall.
Yoshi: Did anyone get a weapon besides me before entering the tunnel?
Bowser: I got a 10pak.
Yoshi: Me too. Bowser, when the four of us exit the tunnel, let Peach and Wario finish the race.
Bowser: Why?
Yoshi: We have missiles man, the two of us can set up an ambush near the end of the tunnel and blast Krunch and Berri as they leave.
Bowser: I get it. This way, Peach and Wario can finish the race while we stall time for them.
Yoshi: can you two do that?
Peach & Wario: No problem.
Yoshi: Good. This way, we can still win the race.
As they exited the tunnel, Peach and Wario went on while Yoshi and Bowser waited for Krunch and Berri on the sides. Bowser: So how will this work?
Yoshi: Wait for Krunch and or Berri to leave the tunnel, and as they head down the track, we'll fire at them.
Bowser: How will we know who's who in this fog?
Yoshi: We're right next--Here they come. Don't waste any more than four rounds each lap.
As Krunch and Berri exited the tunnel, Yoshi and Bowser saw them and fired four missiles at them. But due to the fog, the eight missiles barely missed the DKR racers.
Krunch: That was close huh Berri?
Berri: How did they get behind us?
Krunch: Good question, but we can't worry about that now. We need to win this one, so let's catch up to the other racers.
It didn't take long for Krunch and Berri to find Peach and Wario, and at the end of the first lap, the four racers were neck and neck.
TT: Something's rotten here. where are Bowser and Yoshi?
Timber: Maybe they're lost in the fog?
Diddy: No way. You don't get lost in a race course like this, it's a trap. But where is it?
Darion also smelled the trap and decided to radio one of his friends.
Darion: Hey Krunch, can you hear me?
Krunch: What's up?
Darion: Bowser and Yoshi haven't crossed the line yet and I don't hear their karts.
Krunch: So that's who was firing at us near the end of the tunnel. Thanks for telling me, I just struck lightning.
Darion: No prob, now take this home.
Krunch: Gotcha'. Berri, how are you doing up there?
Berri: Good, why? Krunch: There's a trap at the end of the tunnel. Bowser and Yoshi were firing at us when we left if on the first lap. Do you have a Shield?
Berri: Yeah, and I'm halfway through the tunnel.
Krunch: Use it now, I'm right behind ya'.
Berri: But why?
Krunch: Just trust me.
Berri: Shield's up.
Krunch: Good, now it's Thunder time.
Krunch used the Thunder Bullet he had which shrunk the other racers and Berri turned to the right side after she smashed Wario and smashed Yoshi. Krunch had smashed Peach on his way out and flattened Bowser on the way.
Krunch: Go Berri, I'll take care of the trap and make sure that you have a clear way out on the next lap. Peach had managed to evade Krunch's blockade and pursued Berri, while Wario helped out with the ambush. It didn't take long before Peach caught up with Berri.
Peach: You may have found out about our trap, but this race is far from over.
Berri: True Peach, but you can't take the water shortcut like I can.
[Berri cut off the track and under the waterfall as peach went around the track, it's too bad Peach didn't know about the Slick trap Berri made on the previous lap. The final lap was now clear sailing for Berri since Peach spun out and landed so far into the lake on the left.] As she finished her second lap, Darion cheered her on.
Darion: Go Berri, go! One more lap!
Berri: Thanks, X!
Berri seemed to have it won going into the final lap seeing as Peach was far behind her as she entered the tunnel with a Stealth Steal in hand.
Krunch: Berri, I'm outside the tunnel and I gotcha' covered. It's time for you to shine.
Berri: Thanks Krunch.
Krunch: Take it home, girlfriend. As Berri exited the tunnel, she saw krunch and waved to him. Peach was now on her way out of the tunnel and Krunch wailed his 10pak.
Krunch: Here's a taste of your nasty medicine.
Peach: Nasty huh? Maybe this will taste better.
Peach let her Hyper Missile fly and Krunch took it head-on. He got hurt, but didn't care. He knew even if the missile hit Berri, his ally would still win the race. Meanwhile at the line, Darion heard Berri coming' down the stretch and was cheering for her. A happy Berri was waving to Darion as she came down the line, but...
Darion: Berri, look out!
Berri: Huh?
Peach's Hyper caught up to her and it knocked the chipmunk high into the air.
Mario Bros.: Damn!
Timber: I don't like the looks of this.
Timber had a reason not to. Because even though Berri's 'craft crossed the line with her in it, it landed in the water upside down. Peach crossed the line and saw Darion out in the water to fetch Berri.
Peach: (sigh) I better go help him.
After Berri was out of the water and safely chugging on cocoa, everyone had a talk about what had happened.
Conker: That Hyper Missile is dangerous Taj. I say we take it out for the rest of Race Wars.
Mario: No way! It's no one's fault how that missile hits anyone, I say we keep it.
DK: You both bring up good points about the weapon, but I'm going to side with Conker on this Mario. We're taking out the Hyper Missile, but to make things fair, we're taking out the 10pak too.
Pipsy & Yoshi: Not the 10pak. Noooo!
Taj: I agree. Now that this is settled, let's have lunch and have our flag match afterwards.
MKR
Everyone was now having lunch and enjoying things. Krunch: Hey "old man", that was a nice plan at the tunnel you made.
Yoshi: I'm glad you liked my expertise.
Krunch: That was your plan?
Yoshi: Of course! I'm bad huh?
Tip Tup: That was kind of cool. Anyway, do you feel a lot better now Berri?
Berri: Yup. I'm glad that I had my chance to shine.
Darion: The spotlight rarely shows up in life, but those who earn it get to shine under it.
Daisy: Hey, come back here!
Diddy & Timber: Huh?
Baby Mario: Mario, help!
[Baby Mario ran to the sight with Daisy following him. the baby jumped into Peach's arms and clung to her.] Peach: Hey, I'm not a koala. Get off of me!
Daisy: Baby, come here.
Tip Tup: Well, well, well, are we ready to race?
Baby Mario: No, I'm hungry.
Daisy: You're also still sick, Baby.
Baby Mario: Forget you Daisy, I'm racing this afternoon.
Yoshi: Anxious, isn't he?
Bumper: Of course.
Peach felt Baby Mario's forehead.
Peach: You're burning up, Baby. Go back to bed, you aren't going to race like this.
Baby Mario: But Peach...
Peach: No way. Fuchsia's going to race for you, while you get better.
Mario: Listen Baby, I know you want to race, but I'm not going to let you if you're sick.
Baby Mario: I said I want to race and I'm not leaving until I race Tip Tup for the next flag.
Mario: What's the use, he's never going to learn? Well it's time you learned you lesson. Okay Baby, if you want to race, then I'm going to let you race.
Princesses: No way, he's not racing.
Mario: Ladies, I'm not changing my mind. If he wants to race so badly, then I'm going to let him.
Tip Tup: You're going to let a sick baby race? What are you, crazy?
Mario: No. But that's your problem since he's your rival Tip Tup. Are you afraid to race a baby?
Tip Tup: (*\_/) I am not afraid to race anybody! Let's go kid.
So Tip Tup and Baby mario were ready to go on the Royal Raceway. Everyone watch from the booths, the princesses weren't pleased.
Peach: I'm never going to forgive you on this decision, Mario.
Daisy: I agree.
Mario: Sorry ladies, but I have to prove my point.
Princesses: (\_/) And what point is that?!
Mario: (U_U) "A hard head makes a soft bottom." Since he won't listen, he will learn the hard way.
Jugem: Uh, you don't look so well squirt, are you sure you wouldn't want Fuchsia to race for you?
Baby Mario: I'm fine. Now let's get this over with.
Jugem: Okay. Well you know what's going on here, three laps and a flag. Are you ready Tip Tup.
Tip Tup: I'm ready to show everyone that I've no fear for this baby.
Jugem: Okay, then be careful, especially you squirt and start blazing' on the green light.
When the green light sounded, both racers zoomed off. The race was close for the first five turns. When the second set of items came up, Baby Mario used a Super Boost to whip around the u-turn and head for the jump. Tip Tup answered back with his Speed Shield and took the lead as the two racers passed the first dash zone.
Tip Tup: So far, so good. I'll give him some credit, for a sick little guy he doesn't have fear over his health. Mario was right after all, that baby does have melons.
Tip Tup hit the jump, but he crashed into the mountain and Baby Mario took the lead. Around the next series of turns, his ailment was starting to get to him. Baby Mario: I feel so light-headed, like I'm floating on air. Maybe I should have let Fuchsia take this race. Come on man, focus... but how can I focus when I have to piss?
Baby Mario continued to have his dizzy spells but managed to shake them off as he crossed his first lap and Tip Tup wasn't too far behind.
Baby Mario: I can't hold it anymore, I gotta go. But I don't want to stop... I know.
Baby Mario put his right foot on the gas and his right hand on the wheel, then while standing to the driver's side, he relieved himself while he was driving. {Isn't that a bitch?} Tip Tup saw he display of relief and was dumbfounded.
Tip Tup: He can pee and drive at the same time? Now I've seen everything!
everyone else was shocked about this too.
Jugem: That little squirt.
KT: Talk about taking a piss on royal property.
Daisy: Yes, (stares at Mario) and I wonder where he gets it from...
Mario: (!^_^) I can't imagine the thought of it.
Toad: (!U_U) When Nature calls.....
TT's eyes were covered by his hands.
TT: Is he done being obscene yet?
Bowser: (removing TT's hands) Quit acting like you've never seen a baby's dick before. {Nooooooo, I can't believe he said that. LOL}
Yoshi: That is both twisted and wrong.
Fuchsia: He's not as innocent as we think he is and that just proved it. {That reminds me of the last line of that Pepto Bismol commercial: "Because, you never know."}
After relieving himself, Baby mario sat back into his kart and went back to racing. However, he passed out at the wheel on the third turn and fell into the drink.
Mario: He's starting to learn now.
Jugem pulled him out and Baby Mario's Time Boost helped him get back in place. {Lucky little shit}
Diddy: When did he get that?
Luigi: I don't know.
Timber: I swear he gets all the luck.
Fuchsia: No, that's his guardian angel.
Timber & TT: Guardian angel my ass.
The baby caught up to Tip Tup, who was a bit worried about him.
Tip Tup: You really look bad, kid. Are you sure you can hang on for one more lap?
Baby Mario: I don't need your sympathy. Just worry about the race.
After the two hit the u-turn, Baby Mario Passed out at the wheel again, but luckily for him, he was in the middle lane. Tip Tup saw this and began to worry.
Tip Tup: You can't go on... Hey kid, wake up!
Baby Mario: ......
[Tip Tup shrugged as he took the lead again off the jump and this time, he made it perfectly. As for Baby Mario, he landed with a bounce, which made him come to.] While conscious, he steered perfectly until the s-turn in which both racers fell into the drink, however, our little hero passed out again. He came to after Bobby pulled him out of the water.
Bobby: Forget it kid, you're not racing anymore.
Baby Mario: I can go one more lap, man. Just let me try...
Bobby: Fine, but if this keeps up, I'm pulling you out of the race.
Tip Tup: Ready when you are, kid.
Baby Mario: (sniffle) Ready.
Jugem: Okay, GO!
The two left off at the s-turn and finished the lap. Now, the race was coming to an end and Baby Mario was pushing himself to finish his race. Stubborn, sick and seeing the chariots, Baby Mario decided to make himself endure for the last lap. He Picked up a Speed shield and saved it for his soon to come rainy day. The two racers were neck and neck, but Baby Mario passed out just before the first dash zone. He knew he couldn't go on, but he made himself endure his sickness and was rewarded when he came to. He managed to thwart a Slick that Tip Tup shot in front of him and made the jump, but Tip Tup hit his own weapon and he took a drink as his rival made it safely. Baby Mario was clear for the win and decided to blaze in glory, so he used his savored weapon. Once he came off the final turn, he passed out. his kart zoomed by, but Yoshi saw his pal was out cold. [Yoshi jumped from the booth and ran after the baby's speeding kart.]
Mario: Yoshi wait!
Yoshi: Can't.
Yoshi knew how fast he was going and knew if he were to hit the wall, Baby mario was headed for the playground in the sky, and not in Sky World, mind you.
Yoshi: I have to save him. Gotta' haul tail.
Yoshi ran at full speed after the runaway kart. He managed to pull his friend out of the kart and dive to safety. When the kart hit the wall, it exploded and everyone was in shock. [Tip Tup had finally crossed the line and saw the fire that Jugem and Bobby were putting out and walked over to the people in the booths.]
Tip Tup: Hey, is Baby Mario all right?
Mario: I don't know. Yoshi ran after him in an attempt to save him.
Timber: Look everybody, there's Yoshi.
Yoshi was walking down the track, but he didn't make it back to his friends. He passed out after running after Baby Mario's kart, and the babe was on his back. Everyone sighed in relief as they rushed to the two good friends.
Yoshi: Hey kid (huff, puff), are you awake?
Baby Mario: Did I win?
Yoshi: Yeah, but you've pushed yourself too hard man. Next time stay in bed.
*
[At the castle, Baby Mario was resting in his little bed with his Link Doll by his side and a compress on his head. Peach had the thermometer in her hand which read 112.]
Peach: I hope you're happy, Baby. You won the race, but you almost lost your young life today.
Baby Mario: I'm sorry that I worried you today.
Peach: Just don't scare me like that again.
Mario: Here are some popsicles for you Baby, eat up and break your fever.
Baby Mario: Thank you Mario, for everything. I've learned my lesson today and believe me... I'm staying here until I'm fully recovered.
Peach: At least now you won't be as stubborn as you are now.
Baby Mario: (taking a pop) Yeah. Good night you guys, sleep well.
Peach: You better eat all of those freezer pops too, Baby.
Baby Mario: Don't worry, I will.
[Peach and Mario closed the door]
Peach: As much as I don't want to, I'm going to anyway. You told me so, Mario.
Mario: I know. Maybe now you can have a little more faith in me.
(Baby Mario sighed as he ate his pops)
RACE WARS TALLY DKR-1 MKR-3
To be continued.....