RACE WARS
PART 11
FLAG CAPTURE MODE PART 1
Luigi and Timber walks into the main area both holding the thirteenth flag for both sides.
Diddy & Mario: What happened?
Luigi: We're both holding flags and you want to know what happened?
Timber: Get a clue you guys.
Diddy: Oh well, we tied. So now what happens?
DK: What happens is Flag Capture Mode. Listen carefully. Now, we didn't do all of the races for flags, so that's how everything will-
Darion: Hey, look at that rainbow...
Taj: What rainbow?
Yoshi: This one!
(Before them all, The Rainbow of ten colors showed itself)
Mario: Here we go.
Judges: Can somebody tell me what's going on here?
Toad: We're going to find out, here they come.
Darion: Who is they?
Toad: The Y Team.
The colorful display soon left and revealed Yoshi and his nine colorful brethren.
Yoshi: Hey, did I miss anything?
Toad: We're tied at thirteen.
Blaze: Good, then we'll take it from here.
Yoshi: Are you sure that the nine of you know what you're doing?
Blaze: Of course we are.
Taj: Wait just a minute. What's going on here?
Thunder: I'll handle this one. Goodman Kong over there had a specific way of dealing with this contest and that was to wager the flags you had against each other.
DK: (O_O) I didn't tell you that.
Thunder: Of course not, I overheard you planning this the night before everything went into fruition. Listen up you racers, there's been a change of plans. This capture mode works like so... every race you have from now on, you wager the flags that you hold.
Timber: Get to the point, pinkie.
Thunder: You won't be racing on the courses that you know and mastered, no. You will be racing on our tracks now.
Yoshi: What tracks?
Thunder: Sorry bro, but when I found out about the sudden death the DK was planning, I told the other Y Team members about this and designed our own courses.
Blaze: We kept this from you, since you were one of the racers for the MKR side. If we told you, you would've instantly practiced on these courses, giving yourself and your side the advantage. The nine courses you all are going to race will be from every other color of the Yoshi Rainbow.... except the green one of course.
Taj: And just what are you nine trying to prove here?
Yoshi: Yeah guys, what's up?
Umbra: This is to prove how good you race on a track you have no idea how to race.
Breeze: We're going to see how well you race each other and it will really prove which side is better. Unless of course, both sides are to scared to race them.
Mario: We aren't afraid of anyone's courses.
Diddy: We don't back down from anyone.
Captains: You're on!
Thunder: Good, then let's get this show on the road. To the Island.
*
On Yoster's Isle, both teams were at an urban area.
Quake: Welcome to Yoster's Isle. Here, the sudden death rules will be done here. You have nine courses to settle who is the better team.
Power: Now, I was able to swipe this coin forged from pure magic made by Taj, but the only problem was that it was blank, Well, I made sure that wasn't to be that way for long. On one side of the coin, the initials DKR are on it and MKR on the other side. The coin hits the ground and lands on one of the sides. Whatever side it lands on, chooses how many flags the race is for and the other side chooses the racer. The racer goes head up with his or her rival. Flag Mode continues until either side has all of the flags, there will be no more ties.
Timber: What about the racing?
Power: You lose the race, you lose your flags and they go to the other side. Should the race end in a draw, you will do one more lap until somebody wins.
Pipsy: How can we tell if there's a tie?
Power: These track are controlled by nine different computers and are all electronic. The track will tell you... (pushes a button)
?: One more lap!
Pipsy: Can't we just keep the flags we have?
Power: (\_/) Since you didn't hear me, I will tell you again so your big ears hear me this time... THERE WILL BE NO MORE TIES!!! (-_-) Now, are there any more questions?
(silence)
Power: Good. Breeze, get this show on the road.
Breeze: Okay, here's the first course... Towers of the Wind.
[Breeze lifted his arms to the sky and from the ground, the course rose. The towers were high above the ground.]
Timber: Those are really big towers.
Breeze: Here's how it works. You take this trail into the first tower, where you go up. then across that bridge and into the second tower, where you go down. Then you go through the end of the track, across the water and cross the line. Everyone of our races are four laps long, so enjoy it.
Taj: Could I flip the coin now?
Power: I place the coin in the flipper and it will tell us what.
(Power placed the coin on its edge in the flipper. Then the coin was flipped an it landed MKR up)
Power: Mario, what are we playing for?
Mario: Let's start out small, then go big. Three flags, Power.
Power: Taj, DK, three flags please. (Power was handed six flags) Diddy, who's racing?
Diddy: Drumstick, you're first.
Drumstick: Okay. Ready when you are, KT.
KT: Already there.
[KT and Drumstick take to their karts and went to the line.]
Breeze: This race will take the lead, so good luck. And watch your step on the way up... and down. Get ready... get set... go!
(The racers blazed off and now playing, "Twister Season".)
Diddy: Good luck.
Drumstick and KT began the race going down the straight-away. Neither of them knew what to expect on this course, so they'll find out after the first lap.
[The racers went off the first turn and then into the first tower.]
KT: Whoa, this is nasty.
Drumstick: Jumping giblets.
[The racers soon went into the hard turn going up the tower.] Going up the tower was no easy task, seeing as there were a lot of gaps in the guardrail. This seemed like a tough track to complete.... Well Yoshi Breeze, you really did your homework. Outside, the other teammates could only watch.
Mario: When are they getting out of this tower?
Breeze: It's going to be a long while, maybe longer if you fall from the top of the tower.
Timber: Hey everybody, there they go.
(Both racers are atop of the bridge and entered the second tower)
Toad: Are there any shortcuts in there?
Breeze: Nope. In the first tower, the winds go down and in the second tower, the winds go up. If you try to cut through the opened guardrail to try to hit the cut, chances are that the wind will catch you.
Toad: I see.
On the way down, KT has the lead thanks to Drumstick's mishap in trying to cut the jump and was whisked upward.
KT: This is cool, I can go down... but, going up's a bitch.
Drumstick: Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!
[Out of the tower, and across the water, KT had a good lead.]
KT: What a racetrack, this is a good one indeed.
At the end of the race, KT took the win.
Drumstick: What a tough course, Diddy. Did this had to be so tough?
Breeze: Winds aren't always calm, my feathered friend. And if you think that was tough, wait until Power gets done with you.
Diddy: Now this sucks.
Breeze: Winds don't suck, they blow. {That didn't sound right.}
RACE WARS TALLY
DKR-10 MKR-16
*
The next day, the racers woke up to thunder... Yoshi Thunder, that is.
Timber: Hey, what's the big idea, you scared me half to death?
Thunder: Lightning can be scary, but it could also be comforting. Now get up, it's time for the next race.
Krunch: (yawn) haven't you ever heard about breakfast?
Mario: Breakfast was an hour ago.
DKR: What?
Mario: Wake up on time and you'll get breakfast.
Diddy: But it's eight a.m. now.
Thunder: Breakfast is at seven, now off your asses and let's go!
[Scene, a dark place with a black sky.]
Thunder: Welcome to Speed Way.
Mario: Speedway, what kind of a name is that?
Thunder: Not Speedway, Speed Way! It's two words, not one. Anyway, this is your race of pure speed, just like this name implies. There is only one problem... Falling and lots of it. There is nothing to keep you from falling on this course, and to make things worse... this course has streakers.
Pipsy: What's a streaker?
Thunder: Look at this table, it will answer your question.
(Our pink Yoshi placed a model car onto the table and pushed it, but halfway across the table, the car stopped cold then was shot quickly across the table)
Pipsy: (O_O) Whoa.
Timber: So that's a streaker?
Mario: That makes a sure in for constant falling, and that makes for tough turns.
Power: Diddy, what are we playing for?
Diddy: I'm ready to change this war. Seven flags!
Bumper: Diddy, are you out of your mind?
Diddy: I have faith in my team.
Mario: We'll see about that. Ladies, to the line.
Berri: You have to be a little more specific on that one.
Mario: Peach, you're racing this one.
Peach: Got it, Mario.
[Peach and Pipsy took to the line and Yoshi Thunder was given fourteen flags.]
Diddy: Go get 'em, Pipsy.
Timber: Yeah, go girl.
Berri: Keep rollin', Pipsy.
Thunder: Ladies, before you race, take this word of advice.
Peach & Pipsy: And what might that be?
Thunder: If you don't know now, or don't know how to use them, This track will tell you... use your brakes. Get ready... get set... go!
[The girls carefully drove off. Now playing, "Pink Lightning".]
And the race is on. Not only was the first stretch long, but the girls hit the first streaker and fell off of the first turn. the two girls were lifted back onto the first turn where the race continued. [After that, the two girls were tied up as they hit the next turn.]
Pipsy: Hey, how does he expect us to cross that gap?
Peach: That's no gap, it's more like a ravine. Wait a minute, there's a streaker there. Get ready to break, Peach.
[A couple of seconds passed by and the girls were launched from the second streaker and shot across the ravine-like gap as if going off of a dash zone. Peach saw her wheels touch the ground and began to brake as she hit the next turn. Pipsy caught on too late and fell off the third turn.] (Peach laughed as she watched Pipsy fall off turn three, but soon fell off of turn four)
Diddy: Serves her right.
Mario: Whatever.
[Pipsy rolled off and passed by Peach, who just made it onto the track.] On they went down the line. The girls hit the final streaker, that hit the final gap and after a couple of seconds, went across the final turn and headed across the line ending their first lap. As the second lap began, things were starting to heat up.
Pipsy: I am the Racing Queen, victor of all tracks.
Peach: Well pardon me for proving you wrong, "your majesty."
Timber: I hope this goes by quickly.
Thunder: That's the whole idea my cub friend.
Halfway into the second lap, Pipsy had the lead for a while until the end of the second lap, where Peach caught up and took the lead.
Krunch: This is interesting. I can't believe that a race like this is so exciting, I hope I don't have to kick your ass, Diddy.
Diddy: Relax, Krunch. As long as you don't jinks us, we can take this.
Luigi: This is one tough course, huh Mario?
Mario: Yeah. Thunder did his homework.
As the girls went on, both seemed eager to win.
Pipsy: I'm not going to let you win this race.
Peach: That's what I was going to say. Well, it's time to take seven more flags.
(Both girls went around each turn with precision) It seemed like the girls would be going through another lap, but when the next streaker come up...
Pipsy: Not this time!
[Pipsy fired a Missile at Peach, causing her to fall into the pit and Pipsy streaked across it.] After all of this time, Pipsy has finally done the one thing that no one else on her team could do, take the lead for the DKR side. At the line, Yoshi Thunder delivered the fourteen flags to Pipsy.
Pipsy: That's it... Thank goodness that's over with. I'm really happy to take the lead for us.
Mario: Not to ba, Pipsy. You actually, after all of this time, finally took the lead.
Blaze: It's not over yet you guys. Let's take a break and after it, you will race through fire... and brim-stone.
RACE WARS TALLY
DKR-17 MKR-9
*
After the break, Yoshi Blaze took the racers to a literally hot spot.
Timber: Boy, it sure is hot out here.
Luigi: Hel-lo, this is a desert here. It kinda' reminds ya' of the climate in Desert Land huh?
Peach: You said it. (whew) It's times like this that I'm happy that I'm wearing this mini instead of my long gown.
Berri: I can work on my tan line out here.
Blaze: This is my cue to insult, but that's not why I'm here. Besides, I'm glad that you like the heat, because we're headed for the "Rock". You see that mountain over there?
Diddy: Yeah, what about it?
Yoshi: It leads to Magma Valley. It's past that mountain where the valley begins.
Baby Mario: You mean your track is inside of a valley where lava ceases to flow?
Blaze: You don't have to race it, kid. But hey, you've a diaper to fill...
Baby Mario: Very funny.
Blaze: Now as I say in the IWF, "It's time to turn the heat up."
Timber: What's the IWF?
Blaze: The Island Wrestling Federation. I didn't bring it though, but I'm the IWF X-Treme Champion. But enough about me. Mario, what are we going for?
Mario: I know how to deal with this... Five flags, Blaze (handing the flags over. Diddy does the same).
Blaze: Diddy...
Diddy: One more time, Mario. If you want the lead back, you're going to have to earn it.
Mario: Good, Diddy. I hope you brought you hovercraft.
Diddy: Shucks, I only brought my plane...
Blaze: This is a hover-only course.
Taj: Gotcha' covered.
(Using his magic, Taj teleported Diddy's hovercraft onto the starting line)
Blaze: And now, we can get this race started.
[The two captains lined up in their hovercrafts and stared at the line]
Blaze: Get ready... get set... GO!
(both racers went off. Now playing, "Turn the Heat Up!") Yoshi Blaze was smart when he did this course, because the only weapons here were shields. and by the looks of the course, you're going to be needing a lot of them.
Mario: This is a long course... at least that's how it seems.
Diddy: Long or not, I'm gonna' beat you.
[Around the first hard left turn, both racers crashed into the wall and adjusted themselves After the second right turn, there were a series of turn that lead into a gauntlet.] Outside, the others awaited them with Yoshi Blaze.
Conker: How is this course set up?
Blaze: Well, after the first ninety degree left, they enter a tunnel and hit the second easy right. From there, it's a gauntlet that stews through the whole valley, so each lap is going to take a while. The gauntlet is set up somewhat like Yoshi Valley, but with more hazards and a few dark pathways. Sometimes, you might be going around in circles thanks to the tricky turn signs. Let's see how long it takes to go through one lap.
Pipsy: What kind of weapons are in the course?
Blaze: This course tests your endurance and drafting skills, sister. Only shields can help you here... and you will need them!
Taj: This is interesting, but having only the Shield to protect you and the Speed Shield-
Blaze: Excuse me?
Taj: I said that it was-
Blaze: What were the last two words that left your mouth before I cut you off?
Taj: Speed Shield.
Blaze: That won't help them.
Taj: Why not?
Blaze: Because they aren't in there. This is just a shield course and nothing more.
Mario was having a bit of trouble going down a black tunnel.
Mario: Sheesh, where are the lights in these tunnels? I can't see a thi-- OW, I bumped into another wall again. I hope Diddy is doing better than I am. Diddy was having problems of his own.
Diddy: I hate this course, I hate this course, I hate this course! I can't take another lap of this, I quit!
Five minutes after going through the whole valley, both racers met up again.
Mario: So how are you holding up?
Diddy: I fell after my third turn. And you?
Mario: I fell once I left the first of three black tunnels. I-I don't know about you, but I would never wish this course on anyone, including my enemies.
Diddy: Same here.
[The two finally crossed the line with the tip of their vehicles and came to a full stop. Blaze stood next to them.]
Blaze: What's wrong you guys, you still have three more laps to do?
Captains: What are you, crazy? I'm not goin' through that again. I quit!
Blaze: If that's the case, then there's only one thing left for me to do then... (heads towards the flags)
Mario: (whispers to Diddy) He's going to give us our five flags back.
Diddy: (whispers to Mario) Thank goodness.
Blaze: (\_o) That's what you think, but it's time for you to learn a lesson... All of you.
Yoshi Blaze takes the ten flags and walks over to the two racers, who are now out of harms way and heads towards them.
Blaze: Watch carefully everyone, this is a once in a lifetime experience.
Toad: Hmmm, something's not right with this picture.
Shadow: You can sense it as well? Good, you should.
When the Yoshi Blaze approached the teams, he then turned away and tossed them into the air.
Blaze: Rising Fire!
[Blaze takes his pose as he raised his right hand palm faced up into the air, then channeled a flamethrower into the air which submerged all ten flags. When the flags hit the ground, they turned into ash.]
Judges: (\_/) What the hell is wrong with you!?
Blaze: Listen carefully, when we said that "There will be no more ties", we meant it. Since you both quit, you both lost your flags. Let this be a lesson for the rest of you, now let's get the hell out of here... Unless you want to be around when the volcano erupts.
RACE WARS TALLY
DKR-12
MKR-4
*
(Mario paced around the floor as the rest of the gang sat at the castle)
Mario: I can't believe he did that.
Fuchsia: Me neither.
Peach: Mario, this is all your fault. If you wouldn't have said that you quit, we would've been in the lead.
Mario: How was I supposed to know that Blaze would burn the flags, Diddy and I thought Blaze was going to give them back?
Yoshi: That's brother Blaze for you, a real hothead.
Toad: I should've saw this coming.
Yoshi: Me too, Toad. But we didn't know what was going to happen. Don't feel too bad about it.
Shadow: (teleports in) Of course you shouldn't everyone, don't worry. At least now you know what to expect if another double quit.
Fuchsia: Shadow, are you back for another race with Darion?
Shadow: Perhaps, Fuchsia. Are you still acting like a-
Fuchsia: No, not anymore.
Shadow: You really need to let go of your morals more often. Give him some ass every now and then.
Toad: She gets that from her mother.
DKR
Diddy: He burned our flags up, I can't believe that!
Krunch: What was the course like?
Diddy: Terrible! I would never wish that kind of torture on any of you.
Timber: It was that bad, huh?
Diddy: It was horrible! You guys would've quit too... Well, except Darion. He doesn't back down from any race... right Pipsy?
Pipsy: I don't know.
Darion: I wonder... Where is Shadow?
MKR
Shadow: So the other nine member of the Y Team have taken over the contest? Where does the time fly?
Toad: I don't know.
Shadow: Of course not. Anyway, what is your new year's resolution?
Luigi: To get more than I had last year.
Peach: And what does that mean?
Luigi: Look, last year I got a good remodeled house, my own room and a lot of coins. This year, I got the princess as a girlfriend and enough sex to send me to heaven.
Mario: That's a good example. I mean last year, I made a new time on my raceway and fixed up the house. This year, I got Daisy as a lady and enough sex to make a legion of adversaries.
Toad: I guess I can contribute to that. Last year I got a raise and souped my house, and this year... I got my world. Maybe next year I can create it.
Yoshi: Aw, ain't 'dat sweet?
Mario: How did you improve on the year?
Yoshi: Wanted a pool last year, got one this year.
Mario: Well, let's just kick it and rethink the rest of Race Wars.
Luigi: Yeah, well let's think it over.
Shadow: Good. This time, we'll be at full strength.
to be continued.....
PART 11
FLAG CAPTURE MODE PART 1
Luigi and Timber walks into the main area both holding the thirteenth flag for both sides.
Diddy & Mario: What happened?
Luigi: We're both holding flags and you want to know what happened?
Timber: Get a clue you guys.
Diddy: Oh well, we tied. So now what happens?
DK: What happens is Flag Capture Mode. Listen carefully. Now, we didn't do all of the races for flags, so that's how everything will-
Darion: Hey, look at that rainbow...
Taj: What rainbow?
Yoshi: This one!
(Before them all, The Rainbow of ten colors showed itself)
Mario: Here we go.
Judges: Can somebody tell me what's going on here?
Toad: We're going to find out, here they come.
Darion: Who is they?
Toad: The Y Team.
The colorful display soon left and revealed Yoshi and his nine colorful brethren.
Yoshi: Hey, did I miss anything?
Toad: We're tied at thirteen.
Blaze: Good, then we'll take it from here.
Yoshi: Are you sure that the nine of you know what you're doing?
Blaze: Of course we are.
Taj: Wait just a minute. What's going on here?
Thunder: I'll handle this one. Goodman Kong over there had a specific way of dealing with this contest and that was to wager the flags you had against each other.
DK: (O_O) I didn't tell you that.
Thunder: Of course not, I overheard you planning this the night before everything went into fruition. Listen up you racers, there's been a change of plans. This capture mode works like so... every race you have from now on, you wager the flags that you hold.
Timber: Get to the point, pinkie.
Thunder: You won't be racing on the courses that you know and mastered, no. You will be racing on our tracks now.
Yoshi: What tracks?
Thunder: Sorry bro, but when I found out about the sudden death the DK was planning, I told the other Y Team members about this and designed our own courses.
Blaze: We kept this from you, since you were one of the racers for the MKR side. If we told you, you would've instantly practiced on these courses, giving yourself and your side the advantage. The nine courses you all are going to race will be from every other color of the Yoshi Rainbow.... except the green one of course.
Taj: And just what are you nine trying to prove here?
Yoshi: Yeah guys, what's up?
Umbra: This is to prove how good you race on a track you have no idea how to race.
Breeze: We're going to see how well you race each other and it will really prove which side is better. Unless of course, both sides are to scared to race them.
Mario: We aren't afraid of anyone's courses.
Diddy: We don't back down from anyone.
Captains: You're on!
Thunder: Good, then let's get this show on the road. To the Island.
*
On Yoster's Isle, both teams were at an urban area.
Quake: Welcome to Yoster's Isle. Here, the sudden death rules will be done here. You have nine courses to settle who is the better team.
Power: Now, I was able to swipe this coin forged from pure magic made by Taj, but the only problem was that it was blank, Well, I made sure that wasn't to be that way for long. On one side of the coin, the initials DKR are on it and MKR on the other side. The coin hits the ground and lands on one of the sides. Whatever side it lands on, chooses how many flags the race is for and the other side chooses the racer. The racer goes head up with his or her rival. Flag Mode continues until either side has all of the flags, there will be no more ties.
Timber: What about the racing?
Power: You lose the race, you lose your flags and they go to the other side. Should the race end in a draw, you will do one more lap until somebody wins.
Pipsy: How can we tell if there's a tie?
Power: These track are controlled by nine different computers and are all electronic. The track will tell you... (pushes a button)
?: One more lap!
Pipsy: Can't we just keep the flags we have?
Power: (\_/) Since you didn't hear me, I will tell you again so your big ears hear me this time... THERE WILL BE NO MORE TIES!!! (-_-) Now, are there any more questions?
(silence)
Power: Good. Breeze, get this show on the road.
Breeze: Okay, here's the first course... Towers of the Wind.
[Breeze lifted his arms to the sky and from the ground, the course rose. The towers were high above the ground.]
Timber: Those are really big towers.
Breeze: Here's how it works. You take this trail into the first tower, where you go up. then across that bridge and into the second tower, where you go down. Then you go through the end of the track, across the water and cross the line. Everyone of our races are four laps long, so enjoy it.
Taj: Could I flip the coin now?
Power: I place the coin in the flipper and it will tell us what.
(Power placed the coin on its edge in the flipper. Then the coin was flipped an it landed MKR up)
Power: Mario, what are we playing for?
Mario: Let's start out small, then go big. Three flags, Power.
Power: Taj, DK, three flags please. (Power was handed six flags) Diddy, who's racing?
Diddy: Drumstick, you're first.
Drumstick: Okay. Ready when you are, KT.
KT: Already there.
[KT and Drumstick take to their karts and went to the line.]
Breeze: This race will take the lead, so good luck. And watch your step on the way up... and down. Get ready... get set... go!
(The racers blazed off and now playing, "Twister Season".)
Diddy: Good luck.
Drumstick and KT began the race going down the straight-away. Neither of them knew what to expect on this course, so they'll find out after the first lap.
[The racers went off the first turn and then into the first tower.]
KT: Whoa, this is nasty.
Drumstick: Jumping giblets.
[The racers soon went into the hard turn going up the tower.] Going up the tower was no easy task, seeing as there were a lot of gaps in the guardrail. This seemed like a tough track to complete.... Well Yoshi Breeze, you really did your homework. Outside, the other teammates could only watch.
Mario: When are they getting out of this tower?
Breeze: It's going to be a long while, maybe longer if you fall from the top of the tower.
Timber: Hey everybody, there they go.
(Both racers are atop of the bridge and entered the second tower)
Toad: Are there any shortcuts in there?
Breeze: Nope. In the first tower, the winds go down and in the second tower, the winds go up. If you try to cut through the opened guardrail to try to hit the cut, chances are that the wind will catch you.
Toad: I see.
On the way down, KT has the lead thanks to Drumstick's mishap in trying to cut the jump and was whisked upward.
KT: This is cool, I can go down... but, going up's a bitch.
Drumstick: Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!
[Out of the tower, and across the water, KT had a good lead.]
KT: What a racetrack, this is a good one indeed.
At the end of the race, KT took the win.
Drumstick: What a tough course, Diddy. Did this had to be so tough?
Breeze: Winds aren't always calm, my feathered friend. And if you think that was tough, wait until Power gets done with you.
Diddy: Now this sucks.
Breeze: Winds don't suck, they blow. {That didn't sound right.}
RACE WARS TALLY
DKR-10 MKR-16
*
The next day, the racers woke up to thunder... Yoshi Thunder, that is.
Timber: Hey, what's the big idea, you scared me half to death?
Thunder: Lightning can be scary, but it could also be comforting. Now get up, it's time for the next race.
Krunch: (yawn) haven't you ever heard about breakfast?
Mario: Breakfast was an hour ago.
DKR: What?
Mario: Wake up on time and you'll get breakfast.
Diddy: But it's eight a.m. now.
Thunder: Breakfast is at seven, now off your asses and let's go!
[Scene, a dark place with a black sky.]
Thunder: Welcome to Speed Way.
Mario: Speedway, what kind of a name is that?
Thunder: Not Speedway, Speed Way! It's two words, not one. Anyway, this is your race of pure speed, just like this name implies. There is only one problem... Falling and lots of it. There is nothing to keep you from falling on this course, and to make things worse... this course has streakers.
Pipsy: What's a streaker?
Thunder: Look at this table, it will answer your question.
(Our pink Yoshi placed a model car onto the table and pushed it, but halfway across the table, the car stopped cold then was shot quickly across the table)
Pipsy: (O_O) Whoa.
Timber: So that's a streaker?
Mario: That makes a sure in for constant falling, and that makes for tough turns.
Power: Diddy, what are we playing for?
Diddy: I'm ready to change this war. Seven flags!
Bumper: Diddy, are you out of your mind?
Diddy: I have faith in my team.
Mario: We'll see about that. Ladies, to the line.
Berri: You have to be a little more specific on that one.
Mario: Peach, you're racing this one.
Peach: Got it, Mario.
[Peach and Pipsy took to the line and Yoshi Thunder was given fourteen flags.]
Diddy: Go get 'em, Pipsy.
Timber: Yeah, go girl.
Berri: Keep rollin', Pipsy.
Thunder: Ladies, before you race, take this word of advice.
Peach & Pipsy: And what might that be?
Thunder: If you don't know now, or don't know how to use them, This track will tell you... use your brakes. Get ready... get set... go!
[The girls carefully drove off. Now playing, "Pink Lightning".]
And the race is on. Not only was the first stretch long, but the girls hit the first streaker and fell off of the first turn. the two girls were lifted back onto the first turn where the race continued. [After that, the two girls were tied up as they hit the next turn.]
Pipsy: Hey, how does he expect us to cross that gap?
Peach: That's no gap, it's more like a ravine. Wait a minute, there's a streaker there. Get ready to break, Peach.
[A couple of seconds passed by and the girls were launched from the second streaker and shot across the ravine-like gap as if going off of a dash zone. Peach saw her wheels touch the ground and began to brake as she hit the next turn. Pipsy caught on too late and fell off the third turn.] (Peach laughed as she watched Pipsy fall off turn three, but soon fell off of turn four)
Diddy: Serves her right.
Mario: Whatever.
[Pipsy rolled off and passed by Peach, who just made it onto the track.] On they went down the line. The girls hit the final streaker, that hit the final gap and after a couple of seconds, went across the final turn and headed across the line ending their first lap. As the second lap began, things were starting to heat up.
Pipsy: I am the Racing Queen, victor of all tracks.
Peach: Well pardon me for proving you wrong, "your majesty."
Timber: I hope this goes by quickly.
Thunder: That's the whole idea my cub friend.
Halfway into the second lap, Pipsy had the lead for a while until the end of the second lap, where Peach caught up and took the lead.
Krunch: This is interesting. I can't believe that a race like this is so exciting, I hope I don't have to kick your ass, Diddy.
Diddy: Relax, Krunch. As long as you don't jinks us, we can take this.
Luigi: This is one tough course, huh Mario?
Mario: Yeah. Thunder did his homework.
As the girls went on, both seemed eager to win.
Pipsy: I'm not going to let you win this race.
Peach: That's what I was going to say. Well, it's time to take seven more flags.
(Both girls went around each turn with precision) It seemed like the girls would be going through another lap, but when the next streaker come up...
Pipsy: Not this time!
[Pipsy fired a Missile at Peach, causing her to fall into the pit and Pipsy streaked across it.] After all of this time, Pipsy has finally done the one thing that no one else on her team could do, take the lead for the DKR side. At the line, Yoshi Thunder delivered the fourteen flags to Pipsy.
Pipsy: That's it... Thank goodness that's over with. I'm really happy to take the lead for us.
Mario: Not to ba, Pipsy. You actually, after all of this time, finally took the lead.
Blaze: It's not over yet you guys. Let's take a break and after it, you will race through fire... and brim-stone.
RACE WARS TALLY
DKR-17 MKR-9
*
After the break, Yoshi Blaze took the racers to a literally hot spot.
Timber: Boy, it sure is hot out here.
Luigi: Hel-lo, this is a desert here. It kinda' reminds ya' of the climate in Desert Land huh?
Peach: You said it. (whew) It's times like this that I'm happy that I'm wearing this mini instead of my long gown.
Berri: I can work on my tan line out here.
Blaze: This is my cue to insult, but that's not why I'm here. Besides, I'm glad that you like the heat, because we're headed for the "Rock". You see that mountain over there?
Diddy: Yeah, what about it?
Yoshi: It leads to Magma Valley. It's past that mountain where the valley begins.
Baby Mario: You mean your track is inside of a valley where lava ceases to flow?
Blaze: You don't have to race it, kid. But hey, you've a diaper to fill...
Baby Mario: Very funny.
Blaze: Now as I say in the IWF, "It's time to turn the heat up."
Timber: What's the IWF?
Blaze: The Island Wrestling Federation. I didn't bring it though, but I'm the IWF X-Treme Champion. But enough about me. Mario, what are we going for?
Mario: I know how to deal with this... Five flags, Blaze (handing the flags over. Diddy does the same).
Blaze: Diddy...
Diddy: One more time, Mario. If you want the lead back, you're going to have to earn it.
Mario: Good, Diddy. I hope you brought you hovercraft.
Diddy: Shucks, I only brought my plane...
Blaze: This is a hover-only course.
Taj: Gotcha' covered.
(Using his magic, Taj teleported Diddy's hovercraft onto the starting line)
Blaze: And now, we can get this race started.
[The two captains lined up in their hovercrafts and stared at the line]
Blaze: Get ready... get set... GO!
(both racers went off. Now playing, "Turn the Heat Up!") Yoshi Blaze was smart when he did this course, because the only weapons here were shields. and by the looks of the course, you're going to be needing a lot of them.
Mario: This is a long course... at least that's how it seems.
Diddy: Long or not, I'm gonna' beat you.
[Around the first hard left turn, both racers crashed into the wall and adjusted themselves After the second right turn, there were a series of turn that lead into a gauntlet.] Outside, the others awaited them with Yoshi Blaze.
Conker: How is this course set up?
Blaze: Well, after the first ninety degree left, they enter a tunnel and hit the second easy right. From there, it's a gauntlet that stews through the whole valley, so each lap is going to take a while. The gauntlet is set up somewhat like Yoshi Valley, but with more hazards and a few dark pathways. Sometimes, you might be going around in circles thanks to the tricky turn signs. Let's see how long it takes to go through one lap.
Pipsy: What kind of weapons are in the course?
Blaze: This course tests your endurance and drafting skills, sister. Only shields can help you here... and you will need them!
Taj: This is interesting, but having only the Shield to protect you and the Speed Shield-
Blaze: Excuse me?
Taj: I said that it was-
Blaze: What were the last two words that left your mouth before I cut you off?
Taj: Speed Shield.
Blaze: That won't help them.
Taj: Why not?
Blaze: Because they aren't in there. This is just a shield course and nothing more.
Mario was having a bit of trouble going down a black tunnel.
Mario: Sheesh, where are the lights in these tunnels? I can't see a thi-- OW, I bumped into another wall again. I hope Diddy is doing better than I am. Diddy was having problems of his own.
Diddy: I hate this course, I hate this course, I hate this course! I can't take another lap of this, I quit!
Five minutes after going through the whole valley, both racers met up again.
Mario: So how are you holding up?
Diddy: I fell after my third turn. And you?
Mario: I fell once I left the first of three black tunnels. I-I don't know about you, but I would never wish this course on anyone, including my enemies.
Diddy: Same here.
[The two finally crossed the line with the tip of their vehicles and came to a full stop. Blaze stood next to them.]
Blaze: What's wrong you guys, you still have three more laps to do?
Captains: What are you, crazy? I'm not goin' through that again. I quit!
Blaze: If that's the case, then there's only one thing left for me to do then... (heads towards the flags)
Mario: (whispers to Diddy) He's going to give us our five flags back.
Diddy: (whispers to Mario) Thank goodness.
Blaze: (\_o) That's what you think, but it's time for you to learn a lesson... All of you.
Yoshi Blaze takes the ten flags and walks over to the two racers, who are now out of harms way and heads towards them.
Blaze: Watch carefully everyone, this is a once in a lifetime experience.
Toad: Hmmm, something's not right with this picture.
Shadow: You can sense it as well? Good, you should.
When the Yoshi Blaze approached the teams, he then turned away and tossed them into the air.
Blaze: Rising Fire!
[Blaze takes his pose as he raised his right hand palm faced up into the air, then channeled a flamethrower into the air which submerged all ten flags. When the flags hit the ground, they turned into ash.]
Judges: (\_/) What the hell is wrong with you!?
Blaze: Listen carefully, when we said that "There will be no more ties", we meant it. Since you both quit, you both lost your flags. Let this be a lesson for the rest of you, now let's get the hell out of here... Unless you want to be around when the volcano erupts.
RACE WARS TALLY
DKR-12
MKR-4
*
(Mario paced around the floor as the rest of the gang sat at the castle)
Mario: I can't believe he did that.
Fuchsia: Me neither.
Peach: Mario, this is all your fault. If you wouldn't have said that you quit, we would've been in the lead.
Mario: How was I supposed to know that Blaze would burn the flags, Diddy and I thought Blaze was going to give them back?
Yoshi: That's brother Blaze for you, a real hothead.
Toad: I should've saw this coming.
Yoshi: Me too, Toad. But we didn't know what was going to happen. Don't feel too bad about it.
Shadow: (teleports in) Of course you shouldn't everyone, don't worry. At least now you know what to expect if another double quit.
Fuchsia: Shadow, are you back for another race with Darion?
Shadow: Perhaps, Fuchsia. Are you still acting like a-
Fuchsia: No, not anymore.
Shadow: You really need to let go of your morals more often. Give him some ass every now and then.
Toad: She gets that from her mother.
DKR
Diddy: He burned our flags up, I can't believe that!
Krunch: What was the course like?
Diddy: Terrible! I would never wish that kind of torture on any of you.
Timber: It was that bad, huh?
Diddy: It was horrible! You guys would've quit too... Well, except Darion. He doesn't back down from any race... right Pipsy?
Pipsy: I don't know.
Darion: I wonder... Where is Shadow?
MKR
Shadow: So the other nine member of the Y Team have taken over the contest? Where does the time fly?
Toad: I don't know.
Shadow: Of course not. Anyway, what is your new year's resolution?
Luigi: To get more than I had last year.
Peach: And what does that mean?
Luigi: Look, last year I got a good remodeled house, my own room and a lot of coins. This year, I got the princess as a girlfriend and enough sex to send me to heaven.
Mario: That's a good example. I mean last year, I made a new time on my raceway and fixed up the house. This year, I got Daisy as a lady and enough sex to make a legion of adversaries.
Toad: I guess I can contribute to that. Last year I got a raise and souped my house, and this year... I got my world. Maybe next year I can create it.
Yoshi: Aw, ain't 'dat sweet?
Mario: How did you improve on the year?
Yoshi: Wanted a pool last year, got one this year.
Mario: Well, let's just kick it and rethink the rest of Race Wars.
Luigi: Yeah, well let's think it over.
Shadow: Good. This time, we'll be at full strength.
to be continued.....