Summary: What John thinks of their 'ritual' and how it develops into something, uh, more… Also, kinda tells what happened before the food court incident at the beginning of X2. This story takes place from the events described in chapter 1 up until right before the attack on Xavier's in X2.

Pairing: Hehehe, John/Rogue definitely!!! I'm acknowledging the Bobby/Rogue thing though.

Disclaimer: Damn, if I could go back in time and claim ownership of the X-Men before Stan Lee and Marvel got their paws on it, I'd be one happy camper. But since no such time machine existed just yet, I'd just have to resort to posting my stories on here. I make no money out of this gig.

A/N: I can't believe I got so many positive reviews for Ritual!! Coz when I wrote it, I seriously thought that it was weird and crap. So yeah, thanks guys!!! *hugs all my reviewers*

Anywhoo, Ritual WAS supposed to be a standalone, but then I got this great idea, which kinda fits with Ritual. Plus, I just wanna write something in John's POV. His is a tricky mind to get into so I hope I'm doing him justice. Also, there is a bit of Bobby-bashing (in John's voice), but I just wanna say that I love Bobby. The guy's gorgeous and sweet, but I just don't think he's right for Rogue.

A/N2: All things in brackets are still John's thoughts. They're like little quips that he came up with. I just figure him to be a quip-maker.

Dedication: I notice that there is a serious lack of new ryro stories. Come on, guys!! We need to keep the fight goin'! So yeah, this story's for all those who ship John/Rogue or basically anyone who doesn't mind reading them together.

AFFAIR

I hate her.

I totally hate her.

But I can't bring myself to resist her.

***

At the beginning, it was a game, you know. A sick and twisted mind game we both played when Bobby was not around. Then, over time, it developed into something more 'dangerous' that I couldn't help myself but become hooked on her. We were playing with fire and it was only a matter of time before we got burned.

The first time I came to her bed, I was sure that she'd reject me immediately (or freak out even). When she didn't, and relaxed into my hold instead, I knew that I got her.

I was right about her. And I felt proud of it. I KNEW from the first time I ever saw her that she was way more than the quiet weird shy girl everyone thought she was. I KNEW that she was holding back her power and was just CRAVING for someone to lure it out of her. When she got together with Drake, I knew that she wouldn't be satisfied with plain safe perfect Bobby. She wanted danger and I knew that I'd be the one to provide her with a fire to play with (pardon my very self-promoting metaphor, but, hey, is it my fault if my power totally rocks?).

At first she didn't want to acknowledge this side of her. That was why she never spoke about our 'ritual'. I went along with it because I wanted her to admit that she liked it. I wanted her to realize that our embrace was about more than just comfort; that it was about two thrill-addicts seeking excitement and the chance to experiment with their full potential powers.

When she finally confronted me about our little 'ritual', I was ecstatic. I had to show her what I was willing to offer her. When she let me kiss her, I knew that she wasn't going to give me up anytime soon. She was addicted and I wasn't letting her off the hook. I kept coming to her bed and she never once rejected me, despite her so-called 'guilt' over Bobby. I decided to play with her by making rude wisecracks about her relationship with Drake or by deliberately brushing myself against her in class. It was harmless and it stayed like that for a quite a while.

That is until Bobby went away for a long time.

It was during the last month of our summer break. Bobby had just received a phone call from his perfect little family, telling him to come home for the holidays. They'd booked tickets for a ski trip to Goddamn Aspen, for Christ's sake!!

I could not help but feel bitter about his good luck. But, of course, Bobby – perfect boyfriend that he was – didn't want to leave Rogue alone on her first holiday in a new school (never mind that they'd been together everyday for 2.5 months!). Excuse me while I roll my eyes and send a little fireball over to Bobby's neat stack of clean white boxers. Whatever…

Anyway, since Bobby was as much a perfect son as he was boyfriend, he agreed to come home for a few weeks. He promised Rogue that he'd call her everyday and that he'd be back before school started.

I decided to deal with my bitterness by being an asshole on his last day at the manor. The three of us stood outside the entrance hall as Bobby loaded the last of his trunks to the bus. He turned to face Rogue with this sad and hesitant look on his face. Geez, could the guy BE any more dramatic? I shouldn't have been surprised, though, considering he cried like a baby during Moulin Rouge.

Unable to stand the waterworks that were about to unfold before me, I casually put my hand around Rogue's shoulders and smirked at Bobby, "Now, don't start crying on me, Drake. I'll keep your girl company while you're gone. You just make sure you don't get froze-bite on those nuggets, otherwise Rogue here will be really disappointed."

Rogue just looked at me like I'd grown a second head (hey, with all the mutations I've seen, who knows?) but said nothing. I did notice, however, that she was slightly nudging my hand off her shoulders. Determined to piss both of them off, I tightened my hold instead.

Bobby blew out an exasperated breath, "John, you're a jackass. Tell you what, I'll bring back a nice little mountain goat to keep you company on those cold, lonely nights. Whaddya say, huh?"

"Oh, don't worry, Drake. I'm sure your girlfriend here won't mind keeping me warm at nights."

Rogue glared at me and looked as if she'd like to grab hold of my neck. Barehanded. Bobby looked annoyed but said nothing. Instead, he turned to Rogue, grabbed one of her hands, and pulled her towards him. Both of them kind of gave me a look that told me to scram. I was going to ignore it at first, pretending I didn't catch it, but finally I relented. I turned around and threw up my hands, "Fine. Go do your dramatic goodbye scene. I promise I won't look."

But I did sneak a glance. Bobby carefully brought her gloved hands to his mouth and kissed them (Could he be more white frickin' knight in shining armor?) while Rogue had this dazed look on her face. Then suddenly, he pressed two of her fingers to her lips and leaned in to kiss their leathery surface.

I didn't know whether to gag or revel at my best friend's romantic gesture.

I turned around to see Bobby putting one hand on Rogue's head and saying, "I'll call you as soon as I get there, okay?"

He then picked up his bag, punched me in the shoulders, and said, "Light up a fire if you're cold, Allerdyce. Whatever… Just don't burn the room or set any more of my stuff on fire. And I do expect you to take care of my girl while I'm gone."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, yeah. Get on that thing already so Rogue and I can leave."

He walked towards the bus and added before getting on, "Bye, Rogue. See you later… burned balls."

Gotta admit that that was a good one.

"Bye, Bobby," Rogue said quietly.

I plastered a jeering smile at the departing bus, leaned over to Rogue, and mumbled, "So… leather-coated kiss, huh? Score."

She looked annoyed but I could tell that she was holding back a smile, "You're such an ass, John." She punched my shoulders and added as we were walking back to the house, "And don't ever say something like that in front of Bobby."

"What? The keep-me-warm thing? Don't worry, he thinks his perfect little girlfriend will never ever go for scruffy, rude, reckless me." Then I put my arm around her shoulders and breathed in her ear, "But we both know that that's not true, right, Rogue?"

Kitty or someone came down the hallway then, so Rogue responded by pushing me to the walls. She'd never denied it, though, and, that night, she tiptoed to my bed before I got the chance to come to her room. When I woke up in the morning, I found that she was still there.

Bobby or someone equally moronic would say that the feeling of seeing her beautiful sleeping face, framed by the morning sunlight, was the stuff of poems. But since that ain't my style, I'd just say that it was pretty sweet.

As we spent more and more time together, and with every morning that she woke up in my arms, I grew increasingly attached to her. I hated it.

I hated feeling attached and I hated the fact that she could have such a strong hold of me. I never wanted to look out for anyone but myself, but now I felt like I'd do anything for her. No matter what I did, I could not bring myself to stop it.

Then one night in front of the fireplace completely pushed me over the edge.

It was late and mostly everyone was asleep. We were both sprawled on the sofa with her feet propped on my lap. I was flicking my zippo and Rogue was playing with the white strand of her hair. I was just about to ask her if she was dozing off when she popped her question.

"How does it feel?"

"How does what feel?"

"Well, you know, to be able to touch fire when everyone else gets burned?"

"Well, you've tried it before, Rogue, you should know how it feels," I replied, referring to the time I put that fire figurine on her hand. "Or do you want another demonstration?" I raised my eyebrows at her and smirked.

She kicked me lightly on the side of my thigh, "You know what I mean, John."

"Well, I don't know." I drew some fire from the burning hearth and formed a nice little ball in my hand. "I guess it just feels warm. Like my skin has this invisible protective coating that prevents me from getting burned. SPF-one-million."

"Must be nice, isn't it? To be able to touch something untouchable? Doesn't it make you feel special?"

"Hmm, that IS true. You're untouchable and I get to touch you… Kind of. Well, at least way more than Bobby dares to. Hey, you're right. It does make me feel special."

"John! Can't you just answer my question straight?"

"Okay, what do you want to know, Rogue?"

"Well, besides your hands, are any other parts of your body fireproof?"

I shaped the fire into a glove and fit my arm into it. Hmm, nice and toasty. "Yup."

"What about your face? And, uh, your mouth?"

I turned the glove into a mask and pressed it against my face. I imagined that it'd look quite freaky to her. But she actually seemed fascinated.

"Yeah," I replied through the flame. "Why?"

"Uh, no reason." She seemed nervous and started to devote a substantial amount of focus on her hair.

I crossed my arms and waited.

After about five minutes of zippo-flicking and hair-staring, Rogue finally threw her hair aside and started fidgeting. "It's nothing, really. I was just wondering… Well, I've tried this with Bobby but it didn't quite work. It was his power, you know. It was too cold and, uh, solid. So I was just thinking about how fire is so not, uh, cold or solid…" She was blabbering away and I wasn't about to stop her. She's cute when she does that.

"Yeah…"

"I guess what I'm trying to say is… How long do you think I can hold your power if I touched you without making you pass out?"

"I don't know… Five minutes?"

"That's more than enough," she said more to herself.

"What are you up to, Rogue?"

"Ok, I'll show you. Just don't freak out, okay?" She kind of glanced around to make sure that we were completely alone, then carefully moved to sit on my lap, straddling my hip. I was surprised that she'd risk such a, uh, risqué position in a public place, but I definitely wasn't complaining.

She pulled out both of her gloves and looked at me straight in the eyes, "Trust me." Then she put both hands on my cheeks. Immediately, I felt my power (essence? life force?) coursed from my cheeks to her hands. It was probably the same feeling as being sucked through a drain (okay, I'm using water metaphor now, but whatever). It definitely wasn't pleasant, but somehow I didn't care because I also felt this rush that I got every time I was close to her (shut up, I know it's a cliché).

Then, as soon as it begun, it was over. Rogue turned to look at the fireball that was still hovering on my palm. She drew it to her hands, shaped it into some kind of sash, and draped it over her lips. She looked quite delighted of having fire touched her skin. She smiled at me, "I hope this works."

I was pleasantly surprised for the second time that night when she plastered her lips to mine. This time, though, I didn't feel the sucking force of her mutation. What I felt, instead, was the nice toasty warmth of the fire enveloping her very soft lips.

Now I understood why it didn't work with Bobby. How fun would it be to make out through a sheet of ice?

She started to pull back but I kept her in place by entangling my hands in her hair. I could see a slight reluctance in her eyes before she decided to give in by placing her hands on my shoulders and pulling me closer.

I definitely took advantage of the situation. I deepened the kiss and by the way she kissed me back… well, let's just say that I knew she was into it. I put my hands on her waist and started to bite at her bottom lip. It was such a turn-on to hear her gasp my name. I didn't want to stop kissing her. I was just… gone. COMPLETELY to the deep end.

We finally had to stop when the fire sash started to die out. Rogue pulled back with one last peck on my lips. She placed her forehead near – but not quite touching – mine, still breathless, "I can't believe I just did that."

"You should do that more, Rogue."

She looked up at me and sat up, "John…"

I put my fingers on her lips, ignoring the draining feeling of her power, "Don't. Don't start with the guilt trip now. You were curious, it happened, we both enjoyed it. Let's leave it at that."

She pulled on her gloves. "Fine. Uh, good. 'Cause I wouldn't want you thinking, you know… So that was a one-time thing, right?"

I decided to play along. "Sure. But you gotta admit… You liked it, didn't you?"

She stood up with a blush threatening to creep up her cheeks. "John… I'm not going to answer that!"

I leaned back, throwing my arms carelessly across the sofa, "Fine, don't tell me. Your lips have spoken volumes anyway."

"Whatever… Let's just go to bed, okay?" She extended one gloved hand toward me and pulled me up.

"If you wish, Roguey." I followed her as she walked toward her room.

"Don't call me that!"

"So you prefer MARIE now?"

"How do you know?"

"I'm Bobby's roommate, remember?"

"Right, Bobby."

Before Rogue could start her miserable lil' trip to guilt-land, I quipped, "Yeah. So I'm guessing that an ice-coated make-out was about as much fun as getting an ice-cream headache, huh?"

She looked at me wearily but went to grab my hand, "Just shut up, SAINT John."

She didn't kiss me again that night, but it wasn't long until she did. Our ritual had finally developed into a full-fledged affair (if you want to put it that way).

We kept it up even after Bobby came back. And it wasn't as if Rogue were holding herself back much. One time when Bobby and everyone were playing basketball, Rogue came over to me. I was sitting under this tree and she just sort of propped herself against me, sitting in between my legs. She didn't really say anything, but I knew that she just wanted me to touch her. It was in full daylight and Bobby was just yards away. I knew she liked the rush.

There were other times when we'd meet up in the bathroom in the middle of class or when I would wait for her in the greenhouse before everyone woke up. Ms. Munroe almost caught us once, but Rogue just gave some crappy – but I guess, believable – excuse about how she was just taking a morning walk when she found me in the greenhouse. Ms. Munroe kind of looked at me suspiciously and asked if I were going to set more of her plants on fire. I ended up with detention that week.

We even met up when we were outside of school. A while ago, the teachers decided to do this little 'school trip' to the museum ('cause God knows how much we NEED to blend with ORDINARY humans). It was hell boring and I wouldn't have gone if Xavier hadn't invaded my mind with his old man essence. Anyway, the three of us were standing outside this cave man exhibit… I remember it well cause I distinctly recall making this comment to Bobby as he stood next to a display of this ape-man-look-a-like standing on blocks of ice (I guess they were trying to show that it was the ice age or something), "Hey, Drake. Check it out. It's your ancestors."

Bobby replied smugly, pointing to the exhibit behind me, "And I'm guessing those are yours, Allerdyce."

I turned around to see a display of three very-more-apelike-and-less-human statues, depicting what I'm guessing was the discovery of the first flame. Hmm, neat.

Rogue rolled her eyes, "Oh, honestly…" She walked over to Bobby and took his hand, "I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Wait for me here?"

Bobby replied by giving his ever famous smile (the dumb-ass got voted 'best smile' last year. Go figure). "Of course."

Before she went, however, she sneaked me one of those 'looks', which I had come to recognize well. That was my cue.

I waited like fifteen seconds after she left before announcing to Bobby, "This blows. I'm gonna look for food."

Bobby didn't even give me a second look as I hightailed it after Rogue. What I tell ya? Dumb-ass.

When I came in the restroom, I found her sitting on the sink bench, swinging her legs.

"What took you so long?"

"Now, now, Rogue. You wouldn't want Bobby to sniff anything, would you? Or can I tell him now that I'm meeting his girlfriend for a little make-out session?" I walked right up to her until my waist bumped into her knees.

I was about to light my zippo when she stopped me. She pointed to the ceiling, "Fire alarm."

I hate smokers. They're just ruining it for everyone.

She pulled this thin shawl thing from her jeans pocket. "I got this though. I think it'll work." She smiled as she tied it around my mouth, "Why, John, I think this color suits you. You look absolutely lovely!"

I put my hands on her knees, parted her thighs, and moved my body in. Immediately, I felt her legs encircling my hip. I sneered at her, "Whatever rocks your boat, Roguey."

"I told you not to call me…"

I silenced her by covering her mouth with mine. Now I could go into the detail of our kiss, but let's just say that it felt good to get my tongue massaged. The shawl thing didn't work that well so I had to stop her after about two minutes. I was very much distracted, however, by the fact that her hands were still massaging WAY low on my back. Okay, I'm gonna sound like an idiot for saying this, but if I could, I'd stay in that bathroom with her forever.

Or, I guess, until Bobby barged in that door and turned me into a nice giant ice block…

Rogue, realizing the very potential of this scenario, began to untangle her legs from around my waist. She stripped the shawl from my mouth and pocketed it.

"So what did you tell Bobby?"

"I was looking for food."

"Hmm, good one. Why don't you go down to the food court? I'll go back to Bobby and we can meet you there."

I just nodded and followed her out of the bathroom.

Afterwards, I kinda caused a lil' scene in the food court. I don't even know what the big deal was. Those assholes deserved what they got. I didn't like the way they were looking at Rogue. I don't get Xavier's bullshit about hiding our powers and getting along with humans. We are obviously superior to them and what was it that that Darwin dude said? The strong will flourish while the weak perish? Survival of the species? Yeah, some crap like that. The way I figure, 'normal' humans are scared of us (as they should be) and I don't care jack squad for them. For me, that's no formula for a peaceful co-existence.

Rogue was a bit pissed at me though. She bombarded me with some crap about how someone might have been hurt and how I shouldn't have shown off. I just gave her a sneer but said nothing. I didn't tell her how her eyes had this tiny spark of excitement when I and – eventually – Bobby used our powers against the idiots.

Afterwards, that Logan dude came back. Rogue first came in with him so I guess they were quite tight. And I've heard about how he saved her during that Liberty Island thing. So, as expected, Bobby started acting territorial.

The idiot.

While he went around freezing the caps off Wolverine's sixer, Rogue was holed up with me in a broom closet.

Contrary to what Rogue might think, I did feel guilty about Bobby. After all, he was (still is, I guess) my best friend. He was the only guy in the manor who gave me a chance when I first arrived. That's really his biggest strength and weakness. He has too much faith in people. He fits them into these perfect little molds that makes him oblivious to what's right in front of him. He doesn't realize that Rogue is as much about danger and passion as she is about sweetness and innocence. That's why I think they're doomed together.

But, then again, so are we.

A great part of me wants to flee from our arrangement. I can't afford to become attached to her. I tend to lose people that way. I don't want to care about her. But I'm halfway there anyway.

And that's why I hate her.

I want her because I can't have her. But, yet, at the same time, I don't WANT to want her. I'm just caught in this big crap hole of contradictions.

One day, I know that I'll have to leave her. But for now, I can't – I won't – stop seeing her. I'm as much addicted to this as she is. And there's nothing either of us can do about it.

A/N: God, the ending was so hard to do!! That's why I apologized if it's so muddled and crazy. So yeah, whaddya think about it? When I wrote it, I never realized that I'd write so much for John! Well, I hope I don't make you guys hate John or Rogue for what they're doing to poor Bobby. Also I hope I'm not ruining Ritual by writing this (coz some stories are really better off as standalones). So yeah, please tell me what you think!!!