Adam never did get a new roommate, and Guy kind of moved in on his own. While the extra bed never had sheets, Guy moved his books to Adam's room, always telling Charlie that they were studying. But Guy began to think that Charlie was catching on.
The two desks were against opposite walls, so the two would not get distracted by looking up and seeing each other. It wasn't their planning, the school had them like that, and when Charlie and Adam moved in, they never bothered to change it. Why start now when finals were a week away?
The room was silent, with only the occasional turn of a page for some noise. Both boys were studying for their upcoming finals. However, Guy's mind wasn't completely on his work.
"Adam, can I ask you something?" he turned around in his chair only to look at Adam's back.
"What's up?" Adam didn't look up at all. He was trying to work through some practice math problems.
"What are we doing?"
Adam was silent for a half a second, "Studying."
"No Adam, I know right now we're studying," Guy got up from the desk and moved to sit on Adam's bed. He was now in Adam's peripheral vision.
"I'm asking what we're doing, me and you doing, together," Guy could not stop thinking about this for the past two weeks. School was over in a week, graduation was around the corner.
That caught Adam's attention, and he rotated slowly in his seat. He eyed Guy carefully.
"What do you mean?"
"Ever since championships, us, being together almost every day and night," Guy stammered. He was frustrated. He wanted to know if he was just wasting his time, or if this was going anywhere. He was leaving for the summer in a month, and he wanted to know if there was going to be someone to come home to. He wanted to know if he made the right decision.
Adam effortlessly ended up next to him, and reached for both his hands.
He moved in slowly, letting their lips crash in a sweet symphony. He slipped his tongue not once, but twice, tracing Guy's lips. Guy parted them to allow Adam's tongue access. It felt so good, so right.
"Adam," he breathed, when their mouths parted for a moment.
"Shh," Adam responded and kissed him deeper.
Guy gave in, but quickly retracted, "No Adam, I want to know, I deserve to know."
"Truth?"
"Honest truth."
"I love you Guy. I love everything about you. I loved you since that day when I broke down over Charlie and you were right there for me," Adam began to tear, "I don't know how I would have survived that break up if it weren't for you. And I'm so glad it was you Guy. I wouldn't have wanted anyone else there beside me," Adam paused, " But as of what we're doing? I don't know. I love being with you, but I don't know if I'm ready for another relationship."
"And what we've been doing isn't a relationship?" Guy asked quietly.
"I haven't been putting all of me into this. I want to, but there's a part of me that just won't."
Guy kept quiet. He knew that Adam would continue his thinking out loud.
"I mean, it feels like a part of me died when Charlie left. He meant so much to me during a crucial part of growing up. He was there for me when the Hawks dropped me like flies. But when he left me like that, I felt exactly the same way I did years ago. He took a part of me, that same part the Hawks took, that he'd worked to rebuild in me. Trust of others. When he left," Adam was laying down now, and Guy pulled his feet into his lap, and traced circles on his ankles, but still listening attentively, "When he left, I felt so alone. But then there was you. There was always you. I'd seen the way you'd follow me, especially in class. Not watch me in a stalking kind of way, just watch me because you cared. And that's why I went to you after my injury. I felt something between us. It's coming back to me Guy, because of you. But right now, it's not here. I don't know what it is that I'm waiting for, maybe, I don't know. Maybe I need time away from you. Maybe I need time to think about what happened."
Guy looked up when he stopped speaking, "I'm going away for three months. I'll be back in the fall," he whispered, not knowing if it would make a difference.
Adam sat up and scooted down towards Guy, enveloping him with his arms, "I know, and I'm going to miss you like crazy. But I think this is what we need," he pulled back, leaving little kisses on Guy's neck and check, the last one on his nose.
"I need to know though, if I have someone worth coming back for. I mean, it's not like I'm not going to come back, because I will, I have school, I'm saying that, I want to know if you'll still be here, waiting for me."
Adam's vision was blurred, and he fought to see through the tears, "I don't know Guy, I don't know. I can't make any promises. But we'll always be friends, I can promise that."
Guy hugged him hard, and managed an "I love you," through his clenched teeth.
Adam pulled away first, "Come on, we've got finals to study for."
Graduation came and went, and before they knew it, they were saying goodbye.
"Three months, that's a long time," Adam noted, as the two strolled in the night.
"I've got a lot of family, and they all want a piece of Guy Germaine, what can I say?"
"You can say no, because I'm the only one that gets a piece of you," Adam laughed, slipping his hand into Guy's. It was dark out, no one would notice.
"It's gonna be weird without you," Adam admitted, "Do you have to go?"
"Ad-," Guy smiled, "I do. I want to stay, hell, my parents even said I don't have to go, but we need time apart. You need time to yourself. Just promise me you won't spend the summer sitting in your room."
He rubbed thumb along Adam's wrist, tracing the scar. It was something he always did. And he remembered Adam telling him once that he liked it. By now, it was a subconscious action.
"Done," Adam grinned.
They walked for a little while longer in the dark, and came upon the pond the boys, excluding Adam, played on back when they were district 5. But it was summer now, hardly iced over.
Adam let go of Guy's hand, and nearly ran to the middle of the bridge. He leaned over the bridge's railings, looking over the creek that led to the pond.
Guy came up behind him, wrapping his arms around Adam's waist in the crisp night air, pressing his body to Adam's. He left random little kisses along Adam's neck.
Guy didn't want to leave Adam behind - he wanted to take Adam with him. He loved Adam.
"I gotta go back Adam. My mom doesn't want me out too late because we're leaving early in the morning," Guy pulled away just enough so Adam could spin around in his arms.
"Don't," Adam whispered. He felt himself on the brink of loneliness. He dropped his forehead to rest on Guy's chin.
Guy puckered his lips to leave a tender kiss on the skin.
"I'm still going to love you when I get back Adam, you're stuck with me," Guy smiled into Adam's forehead.
Adam let the tears flow freely. Why was he so upset? He was the one that wanted the time apart. Besides, Guy would be back, they'd see each other again. Oh yea, not until Christmas. Guy was going to University of Minnesota, and by the time he returned, Adam would be in Baltimore. They'd be worlds away, or so it would seem.
"I can't say can't goodbye to you yet Guy, it's not time."
"You'll see me at Christmas. Who knows, maybe we'll get a chance to visit in the fall," Guy sounded so detached about it, but Adam, too lost in his own emotions, wasn't hearing that in his voice.
"I wanna be able to see you every day Guy, I want to be able to hold you when I want to, to kiss you when I want to. I want to be able to crawl into your bed when I can't sleep at night. I need you. I know I said before that I didn't think there was an us, that I needed time to find myself. I found me, I found what I was looking for, you can't leave."
Guy was heartbroken. He got what he wanted, Adam's love in return.
Guy couldn't take it to be genuine though. When he and Adam talked weeks ago, Adam was sincere. He meant what he said, Guy could read it in his eyes.
Now, all he saw was empty promises. He didn't doubt Adam's love for himself, but he knew that Adam had come down with a little cold, and wasn't sleeping right for the past days, and when it's noted as not sleeping right, it's not sleeping at all. Guy knew better, and he would go through with going to Canada. He could only hope to hear those words when he saw Adam in the fall.
Guy pulled away and looked at Adam, "Look at me," he asked, pushing Adam's chin up with his thumb, "Everything's going to work out in the end. I have faith in us. It's just going to be a hard summer. I'll call every day, and write every other. I'm not going to forget about you."
Adam nodded, never breaking his eye contact with Guy.
"I love you Adam, sometimes I'm afraid of the way that I love you, because it's so powerful to me. Just," Guy paused, "Give it time."
Adam nodded again, his bottom lip trembling.
"No crying," Guy said playfully, kissing Adam's closed eyelids, and then moving in for the real kiss.
"I love you," Adam murmured into the kiss.
Guy pulled away, and squeezed Adam's hand, "You wanna walk me back, or are you gonna stay here under the stars."
"The stars are looking pretty good right now," Adam looked up.
Guy nodded, he wasn't offended the Adam didn't want to walk him home. He wouldn't have even asked except it was the polite thing to do. He knew that the answer would be for Adam to watch the skies. It was a past time of his, sit, watch, think. It was one of those times that Guy would just scoot up next to him and be with him.
"Be careful, watch that wrist, okay?" Guy smiled, "Don't break too many hearts while I'm gone. Let them down easy," he let his hands slip from Adam's as he walked backwards slowly.
"Heh, I'll try," Adam chuckled through his crying.
Guy turned and started to walk away. The further he got the faster he walked, he wanted to get away quick. He didn't trust himself to not turn around and crash his body into Adam's, and take him right there.
Adam watched Guy walk away until he faded into the darkness. He frowned for a moment, before turning his attention back to the sky.
The two desks were against opposite walls, so the two would not get distracted by looking up and seeing each other. It wasn't their planning, the school had them like that, and when Charlie and Adam moved in, they never bothered to change it. Why start now when finals were a week away?
The room was silent, with only the occasional turn of a page for some noise. Both boys were studying for their upcoming finals. However, Guy's mind wasn't completely on his work.
"Adam, can I ask you something?" he turned around in his chair only to look at Adam's back.
"What's up?" Adam didn't look up at all. He was trying to work through some practice math problems.
"What are we doing?"
Adam was silent for a half a second, "Studying."
"No Adam, I know right now we're studying," Guy got up from the desk and moved to sit on Adam's bed. He was now in Adam's peripheral vision.
"I'm asking what we're doing, me and you doing, together," Guy could not stop thinking about this for the past two weeks. School was over in a week, graduation was around the corner.
That caught Adam's attention, and he rotated slowly in his seat. He eyed Guy carefully.
"What do you mean?"
"Ever since championships, us, being together almost every day and night," Guy stammered. He was frustrated. He wanted to know if he was just wasting his time, or if this was going anywhere. He was leaving for the summer in a month, and he wanted to know if there was going to be someone to come home to. He wanted to know if he made the right decision.
Adam effortlessly ended up next to him, and reached for both his hands.
He moved in slowly, letting their lips crash in a sweet symphony. He slipped his tongue not once, but twice, tracing Guy's lips. Guy parted them to allow Adam's tongue access. It felt so good, so right.
"Adam," he breathed, when their mouths parted for a moment.
"Shh," Adam responded and kissed him deeper.
Guy gave in, but quickly retracted, "No Adam, I want to know, I deserve to know."
"Truth?"
"Honest truth."
"I love you Guy. I love everything about you. I loved you since that day when I broke down over Charlie and you were right there for me," Adam began to tear, "I don't know how I would have survived that break up if it weren't for you. And I'm so glad it was you Guy. I wouldn't have wanted anyone else there beside me," Adam paused, " But as of what we're doing? I don't know. I love being with you, but I don't know if I'm ready for another relationship."
"And what we've been doing isn't a relationship?" Guy asked quietly.
"I haven't been putting all of me into this. I want to, but there's a part of me that just won't."
Guy kept quiet. He knew that Adam would continue his thinking out loud.
"I mean, it feels like a part of me died when Charlie left. He meant so much to me during a crucial part of growing up. He was there for me when the Hawks dropped me like flies. But when he left me like that, I felt exactly the same way I did years ago. He took a part of me, that same part the Hawks took, that he'd worked to rebuild in me. Trust of others. When he left," Adam was laying down now, and Guy pulled his feet into his lap, and traced circles on his ankles, but still listening attentively, "When he left, I felt so alone. But then there was you. There was always you. I'd seen the way you'd follow me, especially in class. Not watch me in a stalking kind of way, just watch me because you cared. And that's why I went to you after my injury. I felt something between us. It's coming back to me Guy, because of you. But right now, it's not here. I don't know what it is that I'm waiting for, maybe, I don't know. Maybe I need time away from you. Maybe I need time to think about what happened."
Guy looked up when he stopped speaking, "I'm going away for three months. I'll be back in the fall," he whispered, not knowing if it would make a difference.
Adam sat up and scooted down towards Guy, enveloping him with his arms, "I know, and I'm going to miss you like crazy. But I think this is what we need," he pulled back, leaving little kisses on Guy's neck and check, the last one on his nose.
"I need to know though, if I have someone worth coming back for. I mean, it's not like I'm not going to come back, because I will, I have school, I'm saying that, I want to know if you'll still be here, waiting for me."
Adam's vision was blurred, and he fought to see through the tears, "I don't know Guy, I don't know. I can't make any promises. But we'll always be friends, I can promise that."
Guy hugged him hard, and managed an "I love you," through his clenched teeth.
Adam pulled away first, "Come on, we've got finals to study for."
Graduation came and went, and before they knew it, they were saying goodbye.
"Three months, that's a long time," Adam noted, as the two strolled in the night.
"I've got a lot of family, and they all want a piece of Guy Germaine, what can I say?"
"You can say no, because I'm the only one that gets a piece of you," Adam laughed, slipping his hand into Guy's. It was dark out, no one would notice.
"It's gonna be weird without you," Adam admitted, "Do you have to go?"
"Ad-," Guy smiled, "I do. I want to stay, hell, my parents even said I don't have to go, but we need time apart. You need time to yourself. Just promise me you won't spend the summer sitting in your room."
He rubbed thumb along Adam's wrist, tracing the scar. It was something he always did. And he remembered Adam telling him once that he liked it. By now, it was a subconscious action.
"Done," Adam grinned.
They walked for a little while longer in the dark, and came upon the pond the boys, excluding Adam, played on back when they were district 5. But it was summer now, hardly iced over.
Adam let go of Guy's hand, and nearly ran to the middle of the bridge. He leaned over the bridge's railings, looking over the creek that led to the pond.
Guy came up behind him, wrapping his arms around Adam's waist in the crisp night air, pressing his body to Adam's. He left random little kisses along Adam's neck.
Guy didn't want to leave Adam behind - he wanted to take Adam with him. He loved Adam.
"I gotta go back Adam. My mom doesn't want me out too late because we're leaving early in the morning," Guy pulled away just enough so Adam could spin around in his arms.
"Don't," Adam whispered. He felt himself on the brink of loneliness. He dropped his forehead to rest on Guy's chin.
Guy puckered his lips to leave a tender kiss on the skin.
"I'm still going to love you when I get back Adam, you're stuck with me," Guy smiled into Adam's forehead.
Adam let the tears flow freely. Why was he so upset? He was the one that wanted the time apart. Besides, Guy would be back, they'd see each other again. Oh yea, not until Christmas. Guy was going to University of Minnesota, and by the time he returned, Adam would be in Baltimore. They'd be worlds away, or so it would seem.
"I can't say can't goodbye to you yet Guy, it's not time."
"You'll see me at Christmas. Who knows, maybe we'll get a chance to visit in the fall," Guy sounded so detached about it, but Adam, too lost in his own emotions, wasn't hearing that in his voice.
"I wanna be able to see you every day Guy, I want to be able to hold you when I want to, to kiss you when I want to. I want to be able to crawl into your bed when I can't sleep at night. I need you. I know I said before that I didn't think there was an us, that I needed time to find myself. I found me, I found what I was looking for, you can't leave."
Guy was heartbroken. He got what he wanted, Adam's love in return.
Guy couldn't take it to be genuine though. When he and Adam talked weeks ago, Adam was sincere. He meant what he said, Guy could read it in his eyes.
Now, all he saw was empty promises. He didn't doubt Adam's love for himself, but he knew that Adam had come down with a little cold, and wasn't sleeping right for the past days, and when it's noted as not sleeping right, it's not sleeping at all. Guy knew better, and he would go through with going to Canada. He could only hope to hear those words when he saw Adam in the fall.
Guy pulled away and looked at Adam, "Look at me," he asked, pushing Adam's chin up with his thumb, "Everything's going to work out in the end. I have faith in us. It's just going to be a hard summer. I'll call every day, and write every other. I'm not going to forget about you."
Adam nodded, never breaking his eye contact with Guy.
"I love you Adam, sometimes I'm afraid of the way that I love you, because it's so powerful to me. Just," Guy paused, "Give it time."
Adam nodded again, his bottom lip trembling.
"No crying," Guy said playfully, kissing Adam's closed eyelids, and then moving in for the real kiss.
"I love you," Adam murmured into the kiss.
Guy pulled away, and squeezed Adam's hand, "You wanna walk me back, or are you gonna stay here under the stars."
"The stars are looking pretty good right now," Adam looked up.
Guy nodded, he wasn't offended the Adam didn't want to walk him home. He wouldn't have even asked except it was the polite thing to do. He knew that the answer would be for Adam to watch the skies. It was a past time of his, sit, watch, think. It was one of those times that Guy would just scoot up next to him and be with him.
"Be careful, watch that wrist, okay?" Guy smiled, "Don't break too many hearts while I'm gone. Let them down easy," he let his hands slip from Adam's as he walked backwards slowly.
"Heh, I'll try," Adam chuckled through his crying.
Guy turned and started to walk away. The further he got the faster he walked, he wanted to get away quick. He didn't trust himself to not turn around and crash his body into Adam's, and take him right there.
Adam watched Guy walk away until he faded into the darkness. He frowned for a moment, before turning his attention back to the sky.