In the dim room, few sounds echoed on the smooth, white walls. One of the hissing life-supporter, another of the beeping heart monitor and the small green line showing his heat beating at a healthy pace, and the last and above all most depressing sound was of Tora's siren-like song.
She was singing to Kurt, whether or not he could hear was unimportant to her. For two days she gave her beautiful voice to him, no one else heard but her and Kurt. For two days he had been on the mercy of medical science and the hopes of others, so many wires were poking from his neck to keep it from caving in on the open wound, a stiff ace-bandage had itself wrapped neatly over the wound, and for final touch, the commonly known cup-shaped item was stripped to his mouth and pushing air to lungs.
Each day she'd sing him something new, the first song was the primary slice of music she heard in her lifetime, a song one of the woman scientists sung to her when she would strive to sleep in China, the second was one Fyer taught her, the language of Japanese not exactly far from Chinese, and it was easy to learn. The one she spoke now was one he had taught her, a simple one he had sung many times when she would cry for her motherlands.
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine… you make me happy, when skies are gray..." she would never look directly at his face… God how utterly miserable it was to see so many wires sprouting from his body and to know that's what was holding him away from the river of Styx. Tora could only look at his hand, the one she would tightly grip as her voice produced soft music, "…So don't take my sunshine away."
Though she had been taught many-a-song, she never been taught to sing. She just knew, she could feel it in her body. The ability had been put within her body when she was created, it had always been there. Her voice was to be a weapon, as was her skill to produce flashy and erotic dances. She was made to be as dazzling as she could… she had to be to collect a certain someone's attention and fulfill her whole creation of assassination.
No living creature had listened to her voice, no one had ever been with her as she poured her heart into musical form and released it in breaths. For all intensive purposes, Kurt couldn't hear in this case either, but it didn't seem to strike Tora in any way. She just kept calling in song, a new one each day, as if trying to please his soul to stay with it's body.
Every-so-often Oasis, Remy or the professor would drop in and be with her, trying to set her free of this slump by assuring her he would live a long and healthy life… but just one look at his face… his neck… something about that entire picture screamed at her otherwise.
What surprised her was how Logan treated the whole matter. She never left the room, the only reason she would was to put the restroom to good use and rush herself back to Kurt's bedside, continuing her songs (which would last all day). She never got herself food or water and didn't have the expectation of anyone else to get it for her, but every morning, evening and night, there was Logan with a dish and cup. Even if she had fallen asleep, her waking would be by the smell of food and the echo of foot steps.
She didn't understand why him, of all people, brought her these things. She couldn't picture him actually putting his sense of pride away and giving her the essence to keep from growing weak. Was there no answer? Surely he hated every inch of her and waited impatiently for the day to see her give in to his arrogance… so why the act of kindness? It was out of his nature… at least when Tigress was included.
Having trouble lingering on the subject, she just dismissed at as Charles forcing him to do it-he said no words when coming and going, it was a logical answer.
Her voice began again, like a record stuck on a striking song, she sang for Kurt, her fair way of prying, her small hope that the closest thing to family for her would survive.
Mysteries were a great part of life, even for these mutants. It was a mystery to Tora why Logan had such an unexpected stroke of sympathy to his ways, and it was a mystery for Logan why Tora would put so much heart into Kurt. All he ever did was annoy the hell out of people, mostly just to do it for the attention. He could be seen quite a bit around that woman, making her smile and laugh, giving her flowers… being there for her awful memories and comforting her when she was treated so insolently… by none other than himself.
He taught her English, he showed her the city, he did everything Logan wanted to, but his damned ignorance told him not to. She had said so many times before how she loved that fuzz ball, she told stories of their sporting games and bragged on how adorable he was. Sure it was annoying to hear her drone on about that idiot elf… yet, there was something about the way she became attached to him the most, for whatever type of relationship, that couldn't keep him from feeling he missed out on getting a treasure and keeping it to himself.
If he had stepped in, did every little thing Kurt had done down to letting her brush and style his hair, would she cry at his bedside and pray to a God she didn't even believe in to spare his soul? Would she come to him with the stories of her past looking for comfort? Would she have let him lovingly kiss her on the cheek? …Just as Kurt did?
Such things ate viciously at his mind, not only for reasons of wanting the answers… but he didn't want to think of Tora that way. He didn't want her close to him, like she was to Nightcrawler, he didn't want to see her weep for his life… he needed it.
Why wouldn't she sing for anyone else? Why wouldn't she dance in sight of others? Why did she hide so many damn sexual things about herself? What was she afraid of?
He could hear muffled things when he'd bring her dinner to eat, no words could be made out, but it didn't matter. The way she let her breath flow from her when she sang, the way her eyes would glaze with saltwater as she let the words pour from her spirit… he want to hear her, fully. That was something he did want from her, her voice. He wanted to listen to what a true song is, one from a broken heart… none of this modern shit were rappers foolishly sing like idiots about getting laid, or rockers bitching about how their punk girl ran off. He wanted to hear song that came from a wishful mind, he desired to hear something pure, something composed of untainted thoughts and sensation.
Whether or not she wanted to, he was going to get her to sing. For Kurt, for him, for herself, it didn't matter… as long as her voice rang softly.
A cup of water in one palm, a petite plate of Vegetable Egg Foo Young Fyer especially made in the other, Logan drew to the door closely, knowing it was always slightly ajar for emergency such reasons, but rather than barging in as he generally would, he held the plates and food, taking note to her chant such a simple song with such emotion emphasized within it.
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…"
He could remember Kurt singing that to her when she would watch rain fall outside with him. It was an ironic time to sing it… but, Logan supposed, since it was Kurt, it didn't have to make total sense.
Just as her voice lowered and her song seemed to draw an end, she began it up once from, right from the beginning. Would she sing the same thing to him all day? Didn't it matter that there was no way he could hear? She was wasting such a Goddess-like voice on someone who wouldn't even hear it. It didn't make one bit of damn sense to him… he understood people coming to see those under life-support, he could understand why they might talk to them in a whisper, pray to them, or even shortly sing to them… but that was all she would spend her days doing? Sing to him and squeeze his hand, as if she were to let go, he'd die?
As soon as he shoved the door open with his shoulder, she stopped dead in the very middle of the song. Her chin was resting on the cotton bed sheets, an arm in her lap, an one front of her face, fingers clutched to his hand.
She looked outright miserable, which was to be expected. Only after did he set the cup and plate down on a small silver table beside the bed, did he speak to her, the first time in two days, "Do you sing to him all day?"
Nothing about her moved, and she wasn't planning on giving an answer… still, his query was quiet and kind. He deserved an answer, "Yes, I do."
Well, he had proof right from her mouth to fill in one question, all that was left was her reasoning behind it, "Why? He can't hear you."
"Yes he can. Physically… no… he can't. His mind is asleep… I want to wake it without hurting him more," Her voice was lightly hoarse, three days of endless song would do that to a human's throat.
"That's the most imbecilic thing I've heard all day…" he muttered the sentence without really thinking it through first, this becoming apparent as Tora grunted softly and tilts her face more towards the sheets. Her shoulders were scrunching together and jittering a tiny bit ever other second… normally these unplanned sentences were met with a head-snapping, this case was much more different for Tora had a broken spirit, "…But… whatever makes you feel better, works…"
His guilt for causing her further tears was a bit more strange than the usually guilt-trip the professor might lay upon him. Perhaps it was the fact he was accustomed to getting into a verbal brawl, but now must be set with the reasonability of pushing more stress weight on her breaching collar bones. Perchance the problem wasn't anything, just the current moment of sadness reaching to everyone. Whatever the cause, he couldn't place a finger on it, and figured it was better left by it's lonesome.
Her shoulder was cold, he learned this promptly as he placed his thick palm over it for comfort and a thin layer of apology. It didn't bother her, in fact, her head lifted and the small jerks of her shoulder stopped completely.
"You and I both know it does not do shit…" This came out in a profound sigh, the reasoning behind Tora's sight resting on the neck and wires for the first time since the first day.
Surprise took Logan as Tora spoke. Was she actually proclaiming about an idea of giving up? Tora, the stubborn bitch known for her unending temper and will never to lose a roaring blood-lust fight was truly saying she had given in?
…Just how much of her heart did that elf take?
"It's not like you to quit out on something…"
"Is it like humans to riot…?" The question was out of sincerity, the feline having little to no contact with city-folk in a time of anarchy limited her understand on why they choose to point fingers and quest for their heads.
"Normal people are stupid to us… they find us monsters and at times hunt us down. Most want to rid the world of us… why you were a created mutant, I don't know," his explanation for a human wasn't so far off, a human has stages of panic in which when each stage is reached, the person will only lose more sense of thinking logically and reverting to basic (stupid) instinct.
Humans wanted to rid all of her kind? She was created to be a mutant, yet the normal society of life wanted to wipe the Earth clean of mutants? As if that made any sense… humans were so overwhelmingly dense that they'd rather kill what they couldn't understand than try to peacefully make logic out of it? Is that the ignorance of a normal human? Jesus… that kind of arrogance surpassed even the pride of Logan… what kind of creature with the supposed highest-intelligence goes out of it's personal way to strike down something new, offering happiness and tranquility?
This school was based upon trying to make peace with those humans… and on that thought and the memory of rioting crowds, it became clear to Tora on what an idiot she was to think this was her place in life. If all humans would act this way to her and the ones she held dear in her beating heart, there was no point to fighting for mutant freedom. People would never respect them, love them, treat them as equal. They would never damage their huge blanket of pride by admitting to their equality with mutants… if such similar things couldn't even happen between human races, how the hell could it ever happen between normal and mutant?
It had become apparent: she was on a team fighting for a lost cause.
"Logan… would you mind if I be alone?"
"No… just keep a level head, alright?" His hand patted her shoulder as he drew himself away, the same hand curling on the copper door knob and closing it behind him.
Moments passed before her head pulling straight up, the lower part of her right arm swept away tears and left a damp trail behind, "I can't stay here… this team will never win… I can't watch my family die…"
To be concluded…