TITLE: A Bad Few Days
AUTHOR: Jacinta
SUMMARY: Donna's worried about Josh, Margaret's worried about Leo
SPOILERS: Up to Constituency Of One
CHARACTERS: Josh, Ryan, Donna, Leo and Margaret
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: They're John Wells
"Are you old enough to drink?" Josh asks Ryan.
"I'm 23."
"Okay. You want another then?"
Ryan shakes his head. "We should go home."
"Why?"
"Because it's late and you're very drunk."
"Who made you my probation officer?"
"Donna."
"She could have come herself."
"You've been yelling at her all day, she sent me. Come on. How far is it to your place?"
Josh follows Ryan out of the bar. "Donna knows the way."
"Okay," Ryan sighs. " Just give me your address."
"Pretty bad few days, huh?" Ryan asks as they walk from the cab to Josh's apartment.
"It's that time of year," Josh replies. "Shit always happens to me at this time of year."
"Is that why you don't celebrate your birthday, 'cos it's so close to the anniversary? "
"It's on the anniversary," Josh amends.
Ryan looks a little confused. "Rosslyn was August 7th."
"Yeh it was."
"Then what are you talking about?"
"Joanie."
"Who?"
"This is my building and you're not coming in. I'll see you tomorrow."
Ryan watches as Josh walks a little unsteadily up the front steps and into the building. He'd been looking forward to his internship, but the reality isn't living up to the dream. At first he thought it was a case of ' never meet your heroes because they'll only disappoint'. But as he watched the other staff being berated by Leo, as he noticed their concern and confusion, he began to realize that something's wrong and Leo's attitude is rubbing off on everyone, especially Josh.
The following morning Ryan's sorting through some files when Donna grabs him and ushers him in to a quiet corner. "How was Josh last night?"
"Making no sense."
Donna sighs, "He was drunk then?"
"Very. Who's Joanie?"
"Why?"
"Because, he said shit always happens at this time of year. I though he meant the shooting, I thought he didn't celebrate his birthday because it's so close to the anniversary. But he said it was on the anniversary, the anniversary of Joanie. I don't know what he meant?"
"Okay," Donna replies, stunned by that piece of information. "Thanks. Can you take those files over to the OEOB now?"
"What did he mean?" Ryan persists.
"Just take the files, and don't go asking about it okay." Donna fixes Ryan with a warning gaze and he nods and walks off with his files. Donna goes to find Josh.
"How's your head?" she asks as she walks into Josh's office
"You didn't have to send Ryan to look after me," Josh complains, without bothering to look away from his monitor.
"He wanted to. For some reason he likes you."
"I'm glad someone does."
Donna shuts the door and walks over to Josh.
"What?" he asks.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Tell you what?"
"Why you don't celebrate your birthday. If I'd known I wouldn't have let them......."
"I told you, at my seventh....."
"You were really drunk last night you know."
"Donna, I do still have some work to do, I haven't got time for cryptic....."
"Ryan asked me who Joanie was?"
Josh stops what he's doing and looks at her. "What did I say to him?"
"That your birthday is on the anniversary, you didn't tell him what happened. Josh if I'd known that, I'm sorry."
"Yeh. I don't know why I never told you," he frowns.
"It's okay. You've got senior staff in five, we can talk later."
By 9.30 that evening Josh decides that he probably owes Donna some kind of explanation. In fact he knows he owes her more than that. He owes her an apology for the way he's been acting the last few days. He has no right to take his bad mood out on her.
Donna glances towards her boss's office and wonders whether to go and check on him. She's not sure she wants yelling at again though, so she hesitates. The trouble is she knows he's going to get worse before he gets better. It's the anniversary of the shooting in three days.
"Donna, have you got a minute?" Josh asks from the doorway, before walking back into the office.
Donna steals herself for more confrontation and follows him inside.
"Close the door," Josh tells her. " I'm sorry. I've been a complete bastard the last few days."
"Yeh you have," Donna agrees.
"You know I'm only going to get worse."
"Yeh."
"If you want to go work somewhere else........"
"Don't do that. I know you've had a shit few days, but don't start trying to play to my emotions. You say that when you're like this. I don't know why. I don't whether you mean it, whether you're trying to appease me or just push me away. I'm not going anywhere."
"Right. Thanks, I think." He sighs and sits down. "I should have told you. Sam was always here, he stopped anyone doing anything or asking why. But I should have told you, I'm sorry."
"I don't expect you to tell me everything about yourself. Doesn't Leo know?"
"I don't know. I mean he knows about Joanie, he knows about the fire. I assumed my dad would have told him everything, but I don't know."
Donna sits in one of the spare chairs. "She died on your birthday?" she asks quietly.
"Yeh. My mom and dad had gone out for a couple of hours. The popcorn maker was one of my presents, it was from someone my dad worked with. We decided to try it out."
"God," is all Donna can think to say. How does a family move on from that? How does a nine year old boy? No wonder he hates his birthday. "Let's go home."
"I've stuff to do. Leo wants......."
"Leave it. It'll still be here tomorrow. Stop trying to kill yourself to get back into Leo's good books. He's been like this with everyone lately you know, it's not just you."
"I know. But if I can help him......."
"You can't help him if you're ill. Leo's an adult, you need to look after yourself not him. I'm taking you home and we're going to order takeout because you need to eat."
Part of Josh desperately wants to stay. He knows Leo's still here and he wants to wait, just in case Leo needs him. But Leo hasn't needed him for days now, in fact Leo's done nothing but glare and yell at him since his birthday. So he stands, picks up his jacket and backpack and turns off the desk lamp.
Donna smiles. "Chinese?"
"Yeh."
As Donna and Josh walk out of the building Leo stands and watches. He isn't sure what's going on anymore. He's managed to alienate all the senior staff, and he isn't sure why or how. Maybe he shouldn't have made CJ write that memo, perhaps he should have fought harder to keep Will. He knows he should be listening to Toby, because they are drifting. Maybe he shouldn't have let Josh meet with Carrick. But he sure as hell should have remembered why Josh doesn't celebrate his birthday. How in God's name had he forgotten that?
And while Leo watches Josh and Donna, Margaret watches him. She's scared. She's scared he's letting everything slip away. She scared he's alienating everyone in a vain attempt to protect the president from God knows what. But most of all she's scared because he's started smoking again and the next step after that is drink. The way he is at the moment, if he starts drinking again she's not sure he could ever stop.