(AN: Wow.two years later, and I've got a page.er.sorry?.yeah)
And God did proclaim to God's self, watching the Earth from heaven, that existence was boring, and contention the spice of life.
And God's alternate personality did speak, and said, that's only because your TV is broken and there's nothing else to watch.
And God did say, shut the hell up.
And God did therefore proceed to harden the Pharaoh's heart against the people of Israel.
And Pharaoh, who held the people of Israel in bondage but also provided a full coverage insurance plan, did cackle diabolically and proclaim a proclamation over the land.
And Pharaoh did proclaimeth that from that moment hence, dental coverage would no longer be provided.
And Moses did wax wrathful, and did complain to God in the manner of a whiny little civil servant.
And Moses whineth, are the people of Israel not thine own people? and do the people of Israel not deserve to reap the benefits of a full coverage health plan, and do so without the evil influence of bureaucratic HMO's?
And God did sayeth, okay. Go to Egypt, Moses, and perform magic tricks in front of the Pharaoh will pleading with him to let your people go.
And Moses did sayeth, that's not what I wanted. There's no health insurance in a self-employed company.
And God did say, shut the hell up and do what I said, for I AM THE LORD.
And Moses did scampereth away, and did sit astride an ass, and did giggle at the word ass.
And Moses did ride to Pharaoh's palace with his long-lost brother Aaron, and did seeketh audience with Pharaoh, and it was granted, etc., etc.
Pharaoh did receiveth Moses, and did ask his former kin what was transpiring in the land of Israel.
And Moses did respondeth with the perennial answer, nothing.
And Moses did begineth an attempt to dazzle Pharaoh with many magical tricks. Moses did turneth his staff into a snake, and Pharaoh did not wonder at this transformation, but did snicker at the juvenile innuendo of the phrasing.
And Pharaoh, mightily amused, did ask Moses what Moses did want.
And Moses did say, we want full dental coverage.
But God did worketh in Moses' mind, and did say, shut the hell up, for that's not what I said, and I AM THE LORD.
And Moses did cringe, and did correcteth his speech, and did demand the Pharaoh let his people go.
And Pharaoh, with God's mischievous wrath working in him, did answereth, no.
And when Moses did persisteth, Pharaoh did mocketh Moses' God, and God did let it pass, so as to increase the escalating dramatic tension.
And when Moses did persisteth yet again the next morning, Pharaoh did yet refuse.
And God did put a script into Moses' head, and Moses did readeth in the manner of a newscaster with a teleprompter.
And Moses saideth, if you do not let my people go, I will turn the water into blood.
And Pharaoh did asketh, so?
And ponder this (hopefully not for the next two years.urg): "Thank you, but I'm afraid I can't accept your compliment.
You see, I'm an atheist, so if I'm also God, that would mean
that I don't believe in myself, and at this point in my life,
I don't need the added insecurity."
-J. Michael Straczynski, the producer of Babylon 5,
when a fan of Babylon 5 told Straczynski that he was
God
And God did proclaim to God's self, watching the Earth from heaven, that existence was boring, and contention the spice of life.
And God's alternate personality did speak, and said, that's only because your TV is broken and there's nothing else to watch.
And God did say, shut the hell up.
And God did therefore proceed to harden the Pharaoh's heart against the people of Israel.
And Pharaoh, who held the people of Israel in bondage but also provided a full coverage insurance plan, did cackle diabolically and proclaim a proclamation over the land.
And Pharaoh did proclaimeth that from that moment hence, dental coverage would no longer be provided.
And Moses did wax wrathful, and did complain to God in the manner of a whiny little civil servant.
And Moses whineth, are the people of Israel not thine own people? and do the people of Israel not deserve to reap the benefits of a full coverage health plan, and do so without the evil influence of bureaucratic HMO's?
And God did sayeth, okay. Go to Egypt, Moses, and perform magic tricks in front of the Pharaoh will pleading with him to let your people go.
And Moses did sayeth, that's not what I wanted. There's no health insurance in a self-employed company.
And God did say, shut the hell up and do what I said, for I AM THE LORD.
And Moses did scampereth away, and did sit astride an ass, and did giggle at the word ass.
And Moses did ride to Pharaoh's palace with his long-lost brother Aaron, and did seeketh audience with Pharaoh, and it was granted, etc., etc.
Pharaoh did receiveth Moses, and did ask his former kin what was transpiring in the land of Israel.
And Moses did respondeth with the perennial answer, nothing.
And Moses did begineth an attempt to dazzle Pharaoh with many magical tricks. Moses did turneth his staff into a snake, and Pharaoh did not wonder at this transformation, but did snicker at the juvenile innuendo of the phrasing.
And Pharaoh, mightily amused, did ask Moses what Moses did want.
And Moses did say, we want full dental coverage.
But God did worketh in Moses' mind, and did say, shut the hell up, for that's not what I said, and I AM THE LORD.
And Moses did cringe, and did correcteth his speech, and did demand the Pharaoh let his people go.
And Pharaoh, with God's mischievous wrath working in him, did answereth, no.
And when Moses did persisteth, Pharaoh did mocketh Moses' God, and God did let it pass, so as to increase the escalating dramatic tension.
And when Moses did persisteth yet again the next morning, Pharaoh did yet refuse.
And God did put a script into Moses' head, and Moses did readeth in the manner of a newscaster with a teleprompter.
And Moses saideth, if you do not let my people go, I will turn the water into blood.
And Pharaoh did asketh, so?
And ponder this (hopefully not for the next two years.urg): "Thank you, but I'm afraid I can't accept your compliment.
You see, I'm an atheist, so if I'm also God, that would mean
that I don't believe in myself, and at this point in my life,
I don't need the added insecurity."
-J. Michael Straczynski, the producer of Babylon 5,
when a fan of Babylon 5 told Straczynski that he was
God