(AN: I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that I named my nickel Philip! Wait… wrong news. Homecoming was last night, and the football team actually won! That's the first time they've won their homecoming game in more than twenty years. And the band did pretty good, actually! Now for the bad news. The band has a competition every weekend in October. Which means, I can't guarantee that I'll be able to update this till November. Anyway… thanks again for the reviews. And special thanks to JediWanda and CosmoGal14. Thanks to them, I can do this! Ñ ñ © ® ™ á é í ó ú and so on. And to Samgirl, go to www.dragonfare.com/AL. It's Animated Lust (Rated PG!) and when you look at the fantasy harems (mine's in there too, under CommanderD), you will see that many other people crush on both animated humans and animals! Anyway, here we go!)
"Jeez, that was quick," said Timmy.
"What was?" asked Wanda. "The author's note?"
"Well, yeah, but that's not what I was talking about," said Timmy. "I mean, you and Juandissimo! You weren't dating for very long."
"It was twenty years, you know. Actually, that isn't all that long for a fairy. But we did date and stuff during those years… and I got to know just how conceited he is."
Timmy laughed. "Like I said last chapter, he hasn't changed much." His smile faded. "But Pluto died? Commander, why do have to kill off so many characters?"
"This is my life, you know," said Wanda. "People die."
"Besides," said Commander, "I couldn't really accept the fact that Cosmo's father remained a fly for the rest of his life. But he also had to disappear somehow! It also gives Mama Cosma a reason for being so overprotective of Cosmo."
Timmy looked at Wanda. "Is that why Mama Cosma doesn't want Cosmo to be a godparent?"
Wanda nodded. "Part of it, at least."
"Hey, Timmy," said Commander suddenly. "Helgoth11 won't tell anyone about your godparents if you give her twenty dollars."
"Twenty dollars?" asked Timmy. "I don't know if Cosmo and Wanda are worth that much."
"If I didn't know that you were just kidding, I'd be really upset," said Wanda.
"Well, Helgoth11 was just kidding, too," said Commander.
"I knew that," said Timmy uneasily. He shifted Castle a bit, who was amusing herself by making spit bubbles. "So what happened after that?" asked Timmy.
Wanda shrugged. "I went back to godparenting. Actually, my next assignment was right next to Davy's. He's my brother, remember."
"Yeah, I remember," said Timmy.
"The next fifty years or so of my life were pretty uneventful, so I'll just skip to a certain Christmas."
"Does something interesting happen there?"
"Something annoying," muttered Wanda. "I was talking with some of my old classmates and…"
***
Wanda and some of her old friends were sitting at this big, open air Fairy World park. (AN: You know those fairies that Wanda talked with in the episode where Timmy switches with Vicky's dog? Well, they're in this group here. Nyah.) They were making light conversation and enjoying their week off from godparenting.
"So, how have you been, Jill?" Wanda asked one of her friends.
Jill, a fairy with light blonde hair pulled in a ponytail, greenish-blue eyes, and glasses, pulled out a roll of duct tape. "Great! Do you know that I've found seven hundred and fifty-six uses for this?" She hugged the duct tape happily.
"Uh… yeah," muttered Wanda.
"How about you, Wanda?" asked Jill. "How's life been treating you?" All the other fairies with them looked at Wanda expectantly.
Wanda hesitated. "…Okay, I guess." She didn't want to tell them how she often had strange feelings of… loneliness. And often accompanied with those feelings of loneliness were thoughts of Cougar. Wanda knew that she still loved him, but what could she do about it? Date someone else?
"WANDA!" cried a voice suddenly. Wanda turned around and saw Juandissimo. She groaned in displeasure. "Wanda, you must date me!" he cried.
"Um… excuse me for a second," said Wanda to her friends, who were all staring in disbelief at Juandissimo's sexiness. Wanda flew over to him.
"Look, Juan," she said getting right to the point, "I don't love you, and I think you're a conceited jerk, so no, I will not date you again! Besides, why do you want me? I'm not at all the prettiest fairy around. And even if I was, that shouldn't matter. You should judge people on their character, not appearance. What do you see in me?"
"Well, you're beautiful and sexy!" said Juandissimo. "What else should there be?"
"What values and beliefs do I hold true to myself?" asked Wanda.
"Uh… well, let's see, there's…"
"Right. You don't know. So you cannot possibly love me," said Wanda quickly. "And I can't love someone until they've accepted me for what I am and still will even if my whole body is mutilated. Some women don't think that though, and many of them are beautiful, so why don't you date them?" Wanda then turned around and flew away quickly.
"But I am sexy!" cried Juandissimo. "Every female fairy in the universe wants to date me! And do more… he he he!" he chuckled mischievously. "Why don't you?"
Juandissimo stopped talking suddenly. All of Wanda's friends she had been with were hovering around him.
Jill pulled out her duct tape and wrapped it around Juandissimo seductively. "Hey, I'M single and appreciate your looks."
Juandissimo tried to pull the duct tape off, but… you can guess what happened. "OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!" he screamed in pain. Jill and the other fairies giggled.
***
"Jill seems kinda weird," said Timmy.
"She seems kinda familiar, too," said Commander. "Did I base her off of anyone I know?"
"Duh, you did," said Wanda. "Don't you have a friend named Jill who lives across the street from you, goes to your church, went to Cambridge, England with you for three weeks for that program thing, and is never seen without her roll of duct tape?"
"Oh yeah!" said Commander. "Jill! Of course! Although I don't know if she should be the basis of a fairy. I don't even think she watches FOP."
"We'll make her watch it," threatened Timmy, clenching his fists. "But did you base anyone else off people you know?"
"Well, Jill's got a sister named Sarah, but Wanda's sister Sarah isn't much like her. Well, she is in some ways…"
"Anyone else?" asked Timmy.
Commander shrugged. "There's Leslie, too. She's in the same grade as Sarah and my younger brother Davy. But she isn't much like the Leslie in this story, either. I just used the name because I liked it."
"ANYWAY, back to the story," said Wanda loudly. Timmy and Commander both shut up and listened to Wanda. "There's more that happened that day."
"Like what?" asked Timmy.
"Well, I was flying off as far away from Juan as I could get, when…"
***
"You want to share a malt?" asked a fairy that Wanda didn't even know. Wanda looked at him strangely.
~Forget it,~ something inside of her said. ~You've had nothing but disaster with the guys you've dated… but he could be different, you never know…~
Wanda finally shrugged. "Sure, why not," she muttered. The fairy poofed up a shake.
"Great!" he said. "My name's Sean, by the way. What's yours?"
"Wanda."
"Hey, Wanda. I guess we're boyfriend and girlfriend now, right?"
"Guess so," muttered Wanda. ~Well, here I am on number four,~ she thought. ~Let's see how he turns out.~
***
Unfortunately, Wanda got her answer that very night. She was still talking with her old friends. Cosmo was there too, but he was somewhat quiet and was near the edge of the group, since he wasn't really friends with all of Wanda's friends.
Jill was doing nothing but talking about Juandissimo. "Man, Wanda, he is sooooo hot. Why did you dump him?"
"Because he's a conceited jerk," muttered Wanda.
"I could overlook that and just take his body," said one of Wanda's other friends. "Mmmm-mmmm!"
"I like cheese!" Cosmo suddenly yelled out. The women all chuckled a little.
Wanda smiled at Cosmo. "Yes, we know that," she said as gently as she could.
"Okay, so you think that Juan is a jerk," said Jill, picking their conversation back up. "So what's this I hear about you dating again?"
"I don't know, it was a whim," said Wanda. "Maybe he'll be different…"
The fairies stopped and let a large group of fairies pass by. Wanda noticed that Sean was in this group. Sean didn't notice Wanda, however. A young female fairy was tugging on Sean's shirt.
"Sean, did you do anything with my purse?" she asked him.
"I don't know," muttered Sean.
"You don't know?" yelled the fairy. "I'm your wife! You should respect me more!"
Wanda didn't move, even though the other fairies had. They all turned around and looked at her strangely. "Are you okay, Wanda?" Cosmo finally asked.
"I need to go to the bathroom," said Wanda quickly, flying off towards the public restrooms, which were fortunately in the same direction the other fairies were going. She noticed Sean's wife had fallen behind the group and was looking discouraged.
Wanda flew up to her. "Excuse me, but is Sean your husband?" she asked her.
The fairy looked confused. "Yes… why?"
Wanda shook a bit with anger. "Why, WHY do people do this kind of stuff to me?"
"What did I do?" asked the young woman in shock.
"Oh no, not you, hun," said Wanda. (AN: This fairy was only about 50 years or so, which is why Wanda used a generic term of endearment.) "Your husband. He asked me out on a date today, and I didn't know that he was married, so I said yes."
The other fairy gasped, but her shock quickly turned to anger. "Why, that no good, double crossing--"
"I'm going to go break up with him now," muttered Wanda. "Jeez, my relationships keep getting shorter and shorter! One day! The next one will be for about two hours, I bet."
"Hey!" said the other fairy. "Thanks for telling me that. You're very… noble." She smiled at Wanda sadly.
"You're welcome," said Wanda. She then flew up to catch up with Sean.
"Hey, Sean!" she yelled. Sean turned around and looked at Wanda. "When you asked me out today, you neglected to mention that you're already married."
Sean tried to look confused. "What? No I'm not!"
"I have this little belief. Maybe it's weird, but it's just what I think. And that is I don't want to date a married man. Goodbye," she said, flying off.
She leaned up against a tree and sighed. Four boyfriends down the drain! And she had only been really happy with the first. How come other men couldn't be like Cougar?
Wanda's eyes lit up. Perhaps… they had been apart for so long that he might want to be back with her now. Wanda straightened up, fully ready to fly off to his house.
Gentle laughter stopped her. She turned and saw none other than Cougar himself, and he was with a woman and… a small boy.
Wanda studied them for a while, but finally accepted the bitter reality: Cougar was married and had a small child! She turned behind the tree so that they couldn't see her. "So much for that idea," she said to herself. "Now you can never have him…" Her voice trailed off and a single tear slid down her cheek.
(AN: Sorry it's kinda short, but the next chapter will definitely be longer and more interesting. I promise. Maybe I can get it up on October 24, since we don't have school that day. It also happens to be my birthday, though, so I might be busy that day anyway. (I don't have school on my birthday! YAY!) If I don't get it up by then, I probably will the on the first weekend in November. Sorry about the wait, but those marching competitions take the whole day, and on Sunday I need the full day just to rest up from them. Be safe, don't do drugs, and see you in November at the latest!)
"Jeez, that was quick," said Timmy.
"What was?" asked Wanda. "The author's note?"
"Well, yeah, but that's not what I was talking about," said Timmy. "I mean, you and Juandissimo! You weren't dating for very long."
"It was twenty years, you know. Actually, that isn't all that long for a fairy. But we did date and stuff during those years… and I got to know just how conceited he is."
Timmy laughed. "Like I said last chapter, he hasn't changed much." His smile faded. "But Pluto died? Commander, why do have to kill off so many characters?"
"This is my life, you know," said Wanda. "People die."
"Besides," said Commander, "I couldn't really accept the fact that Cosmo's father remained a fly for the rest of his life. But he also had to disappear somehow! It also gives Mama Cosma a reason for being so overprotective of Cosmo."
Timmy looked at Wanda. "Is that why Mama Cosma doesn't want Cosmo to be a godparent?"
Wanda nodded. "Part of it, at least."
"Hey, Timmy," said Commander suddenly. "Helgoth11 won't tell anyone about your godparents if you give her twenty dollars."
"Twenty dollars?" asked Timmy. "I don't know if Cosmo and Wanda are worth that much."
"If I didn't know that you were just kidding, I'd be really upset," said Wanda.
"Well, Helgoth11 was just kidding, too," said Commander.
"I knew that," said Timmy uneasily. He shifted Castle a bit, who was amusing herself by making spit bubbles. "So what happened after that?" asked Timmy.
Wanda shrugged. "I went back to godparenting. Actually, my next assignment was right next to Davy's. He's my brother, remember."
"Yeah, I remember," said Timmy.
"The next fifty years or so of my life were pretty uneventful, so I'll just skip to a certain Christmas."
"Does something interesting happen there?"
"Something annoying," muttered Wanda. "I was talking with some of my old classmates and…"
***
Wanda and some of her old friends were sitting at this big, open air Fairy World park. (AN: You know those fairies that Wanda talked with in the episode where Timmy switches with Vicky's dog? Well, they're in this group here. Nyah.) They were making light conversation and enjoying their week off from godparenting.
"So, how have you been, Jill?" Wanda asked one of her friends.
Jill, a fairy with light blonde hair pulled in a ponytail, greenish-blue eyes, and glasses, pulled out a roll of duct tape. "Great! Do you know that I've found seven hundred and fifty-six uses for this?" She hugged the duct tape happily.
"Uh… yeah," muttered Wanda.
"How about you, Wanda?" asked Jill. "How's life been treating you?" All the other fairies with them looked at Wanda expectantly.
Wanda hesitated. "…Okay, I guess." She didn't want to tell them how she often had strange feelings of… loneliness. And often accompanied with those feelings of loneliness were thoughts of Cougar. Wanda knew that she still loved him, but what could she do about it? Date someone else?
"WANDA!" cried a voice suddenly. Wanda turned around and saw Juandissimo. She groaned in displeasure. "Wanda, you must date me!" he cried.
"Um… excuse me for a second," said Wanda to her friends, who were all staring in disbelief at Juandissimo's sexiness. Wanda flew over to him.
"Look, Juan," she said getting right to the point, "I don't love you, and I think you're a conceited jerk, so no, I will not date you again! Besides, why do you want me? I'm not at all the prettiest fairy around. And even if I was, that shouldn't matter. You should judge people on their character, not appearance. What do you see in me?"
"Well, you're beautiful and sexy!" said Juandissimo. "What else should there be?"
"What values and beliefs do I hold true to myself?" asked Wanda.
"Uh… well, let's see, there's…"
"Right. You don't know. So you cannot possibly love me," said Wanda quickly. "And I can't love someone until they've accepted me for what I am and still will even if my whole body is mutilated. Some women don't think that though, and many of them are beautiful, so why don't you date them?" Wanda then turned around and flew away quickly.
"But I am sexy!" cried Juandissimo. "Every female fairy in the universe wants to date me! And do more… he he he!" he chuckled mischievously. "Why don't you?"
Juandissimo stopped talking suddenly. All of Wanda's friends she had been with were hovering around him.
Jill pulled out her duct tape and wrapped it around Juandissimo seductively. "Hey, I'M single and appreciate your looks."
Juandissimo tried to pull the duct tape off, but… you can guess what happened. "OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!" he screamed in pain. Jill and the other fairies giggled.
***
"Jill seems kinda weird," said Timmy.
"She seems kinda familiar, too," said Commander. "Did I base her off of anyone I know?"
"Duh, you did," said Wanda. "Don't you have a friend named Jill who lives across the street from you, goes to your church, went to Cambridge, England with you for three weeks for that program thing, and is never seen without her roll of duct tape?"
"Oh yeah!" said Commander. "Jill! Of course! Although I don't know if she should be the basis of a fairy. I don't even think she watches FOP."
"We'll make her watch it," threatened Timmy, clenching his fists. "But did you base anyone else off people you know?"
"Well, Jill's got a sister named Sarah, but Wanda's sister Sarah isn't much like her. Well, she is in some ways…"
"Anyone else?" asked Timmy.
Commander shrugged. "There's Leslie, too. She's in the same grade as Sarah and my younger brother Davy. But she isn't much like the Leslie in this story, either. I just used the name because I liked it."
"ANYWAY, back to the story," said Wanda loudly. Timmy and Commander both shut up and listened to Wanda. "There's more that happened that day."
"Like what?" asked Timmy.
"Well, I was flying off as far away from Juan as I could get, when…"
***
"You want to share a malt?" asked a fairy that Wanda didn't even know. Wanda looked at him strangely.
~Forget it,~ something inside of her said. ~You've had nothing but disaster with the guys you've dated… but he could be different, you never know…~
Wanda finally shrugged. "Sure, why not," she muttered. The fairy poofed up a shake.
"Great!" he said. "My name's Sean, by the way. What's yours?"
"Wanda."
"Hey, Wanda. I guess we're boyfriend and girlfriend now, right?"
"Guess so," muttered Wanda. ~Well, here I am on number four,~ she thought. ~Let's see how he turns out.~
***
Unfortunately, Wanda got her answer that very night. She was still talking with her old friends. Cosmo was there too, but he was somewhat quiet and was near the edge of the group, since he wasn't really friends with all of Wanda's friends.
Jill was doing nothing but talking about Juandissimo. "Man, Wanda, he is sooooo hot. Why did you dump him?"
"Because he's a conceited jerk," muttered Wanda.
"I could overlook that and just take his body," said one of Wanda's other friends. "Mmmm-mmmm!"
"I like cheese!" Cosmo suddenly yelled out. The women all chuckled a little.
Wanda smiled at Cosmo. "Yes, we know that," she said as gently as she could.
"Okay, so you think that Juan is a jerk," said Jill, picking their conversation back up. "So what's this I hear about you dating again?"
"I don't know, it was a whim," said Wanda. "Maybe he'll be different…"
The fairies stopped and let a large group of fairies pass by. Wanda noticed that Sean was in this group. Sean didn't notice Wanda, however. A young female fairy was tugging on Sean's shirt.
"Sean, did you do anything with my purse?" she asked him.
"I don't know," muttered Sean.
"You don't know?" yelled the fairy. "I'm your wife! You should respect me more!"
Wanda didn't move, even though the other fairies had. They all turned around and looked at her strangely. "Are you okay, Wanda?" Cosmo finally asked.
"I need to go to the bathroom," said Wanda quickly, flying off towards the public restrooms, which were fortunately in the same direction the other fairies were going. She noticed Sean's wife had fallen behind the group and was looking discouraged.
Wanda flew up to her. "Excuse me, but is Sean your husband?" she asked her.
The fairy looked confused. "Yes… why?"
Wanda shook a bit with anger. "Why, WHY do people do this kind of stuff to me?"
"What did I do?" asked the young woman in shock.
"Oh no, not you, hun," said Wanda. (AN: This fairy was only about 50 years or so, which is why Wanda used a generic term of endearment.) "Your husband. He asked me out on a date today, and I didn't know that he was married, so I said yes."
The other fairy gasped, but her shock quickly turned to anger. "Why, that no good, double crossing--"
"I'm going to go break up with him now," muttered Wanda. "Jeez, my relationships keep getting shorter and shorter! One day! The next one will be for about two hours, I bet."
"Hey!" said the other fairy. "Thanks for telling me that. You're very… noble." She smiled at Wanda sadly.
"You're welcome," said Wanda. She then flew up to catch up with Sean.
"Hey, Sean!" she yelled. Sean turned around and looked at Wanda. "When you asked me out today, you neglected to mention that you're already married."
Sean tried to look confused. "What? No I'm not!"
"I have this little belief. Maybe it's weird, but it's just what I think. And that is I don't want to date a married man. Goodbye," she said, flying off.
She leaned up against a tree and sighed. Four boyfriends down the drain! And she had only been really happy with the first. How come other men couldn't be like Cougar?
Wanda's eyes lit up. Perhaps… they had been apart for so long that he might want to be back with her now. Wanda straightened up, fully ready to fly off to his house.
Gentle laughter stopped her. She turned and saw none other than Cougar himself, and he was with a woman and… a small boy.
Wanda studied them for a while, but finally accepted the bitter reality: Cougar was married and had a small child! She turned behind the tree so that they couldn't see her. "So much for that idea," she said to herself. "Now you can never have him…" Her voice trailed off and a single tear slid down her cheek.
(AN: Sorry it's kinda short, but the next chapter will definitely be longer and more interesting. I promise. Maybe I can get it up on October 24, since we don't have school that day. It also happens to be my birthday, though, so I might be busy that day anyway. (I don't have school on my birthday! YAY!) If I don't get it up by then, I probably will the on the first weekend in November. Sorry about the wait, but those marching competitions take the whole day, and on Sunday I need the full day just to rest up from them. Be safe, don't do drugs, and see you in November at the latest!)