(AN: So much for the "not updating till November" thing. But I'm SOOOO HAPPY! Mainly because yesterday (Saturday, October 4, 2003) WE GOT A ONE! WE GOT A ONE! Yay! I told you that the band was looking pretty good! And some of the freshmen, the class that didn't seem to care a while ago, were crying, they were so happy! I'm not all that tired today, for two reasons. One, the competition was in my hometown, so it's not like I had to endure a long bus trip. No, that's the next three weeks! Also, the awards ceremony was at 4:30. Some of them aren't until 9:30 and then it takes an hour and a half to get home. The other reason I'm happy is because this is now my most reviewed story! It finally beat out the cruddy Origins! I'm so happy, I hardly know where to begin the story, but I'll try!
Notes: Thanks for the offer, JediWanda. Since I'm too uncreative, Wanda's next boyfriend will indeed be called Stellar. And to Sara, you have my full permission to sponsor Greg. Actually, I wasn't even planning to have him in the story after Wanda broke up with him, but after reading your review I thought, "Yeah, that would be funny, wouldn't it?")
Timmy chuckled. "A one day relationship? How long is the next one going to be, two hours?" Timmy suddenly stopped and counted on his fingers as best he could, since Castle seemed to like to grab them. "That's four now, right? Is Cosmo number five?"
Wanda shook her head. "Remember what I told you? I don't count Cosmo as one of my ex-boyfriends."
"So you've still got one more?" asked Timmy. "Jeez, are you unlucky in relationships."
Wanda laughed. "That's what I was starting to think then. Besides, I was still in love with Cougar, remember."
"Get over him, already!" cried Timmy.
"It would've made my life a lot easier," muttered Wanda. "But to top that off, I started having these terribly clichéd dreams. Thanks a lot, Commander."
"Hey, this whole story is clichéd," said Commander. "But do tell. What were your terribly clichéd dreams?"
"As if you don't know, you're the author," said Wanda with a sigh.
"But I don't know," said Timmy. "And neither do the readers."
"Alright," said Wanda finally, in resignation. "I would be flying through this forest and I'd go behind this tree. When I had this dream over and over again I'd try to stop myself because I knew what was behind there, but I couldn't."
"What was it?" cried Timmy.
"It was Cougar, DUH," said Wanda. "And I'd try to hug him but he'd say, 'I need to go', and then he'd fly over to his wife and ignore me. Then a bunch of people would come out from behind trees and laugh at me, while I just cried out for help, but no one would help me."
"That is clichéd," muttered Timmy.
"And I'm so tired of typing the word clichéd," muttered Commander. "I have to use the ALT code billions of times!"
"Five, actually," said Wanda. "Stop complaining. At least you didn't have this same dream almost every night for nearly one hundred years."
"That probably got old," said Timmy.
"Gaa!" cried Castle, reaching out for Timmy's hands, which he had moved away from the infant.
"Cassie's getting kind of hyper," said Timmy to Wanda. "Could you poof up a rattle for her or something?"
Wanda waved her wand and a teddy bear appeared in Timmy's lap. "There. I thought a rattle could get kinda loud."
"Got it. So, are you going to continue now?" asked Timmy.
"Yes, I guess so. When I was… three hundred and fifty-two years old, I think, I started dating again. Although, considering my previous dating experiences, I have no clue why I did."
"Was this Stellar?" asked Timmy.
Wanda looked confused. "How did you know his name?"
"I read the author's notes," said Timmy with a shrug. "So, how did this one go?"
"Not great," admitted Wanda. "We eventually showed up late or didn't show up at all for our dates. We didn't really care. I was pretty apathetic. But we hadn't officially broken up yet."
"So when did you?" asked Timmy.
Wanda sighed. "Well, I have to go to when I was waiting for him to show up for a date, even though I got to the meeting spot half an hour late. And this is the part that everyone's been waiting for…"
"What is it?" asked Timmy.
"Well, listen…"
***
"I guess he's not going to show up," muttered Wanda. "And I don't really care." She stretched out her wings, readjusted her crown, and got ready to fly back home. It was Christmas break, of course, and she could think of better ways to spend her break. (AN: When Wanda was dating, remember, she could really only see her boyfriend once a year, during the Christmas break that all fairies have.)
Her eyes scanned the ground as she started to fly back to her house. ~Maybe I could spend time with Sarah and Tony,~ she thought to herself. ~Or maybe Davy. Or all of us could go to Mom and Dad's--~
SMACK!
Since Wanda wasn't watching where she was going, she had run smack dab into another fairy. "Sorry," she mumbled, rubbing her head. She then noticed that the fairy she had run into was none other than her childhood friend, Cosmo.
"Oh, jeez, Cosmo, I'm really sorry," she said. "Does your head hurt as much as mine?"
Cosmo looked a little confused. "But I don't know how much yours hurts! So how could I know if that's how much mine hurts?"
"Good point," said Wanda with a smile. Her apathetic mood was starting to lift. She always seemed to be happiest when she was with her best friend, she thought.
"How come I never see you anymore?" asked Cosmo, looking a little hurt. "Aren't we still friends?"
"Of course, Cosmo!" said Wanda. "We're best friends! But I've just been… busy with other things."
"Are you dating again?" Cosmo blurted out suddenly. He looked embarrassed right after he said it.
"Well… sorta," said Wanda. She looked at the ground sadly. "We're not putting much effort into our relationship. And I don't really care, to tell you the truth. Maybe I should just stop dating. After five boyfriends, I'm not sure if I can make any relationship work."
"You can't say that!" said Cosmo. "There's got to be someone that you like who likes you! In fact, I don't see how anyone COULDN'T like you!"
Wanda smiled and blushed a little. "Thanks, Cos," she said as her smile faded, "but I'm so sad nowadays that I just don't care about much at all anymore!"
Cosmo's brow crinkled in thought. Wanda smiled to herself, poofed up a light bulb, and held it over Cosmo's head.
"I know how to make you happy, Wanda!" said Cosmo suddenly. He waved his wand and poofed up some cheese.
"Cheese?" asked Wanda in confusion.
"Yeah!" said Cosmo happily, taking a big bite out of a hunk of cheese. "Cheese makes EVERYTHING better!"
Wanda laughed, in spite of herself. Cosmo, sensing that he had made Wanda happy, smiled at her gently.
"I told you cheese makes everything better," he said, almost softly.
Wanda smiled and hugged Cosmo tightly. "I don't think it's the cheese, Cosmo, I think it's just you."
Cosmo pulled away from Wanda a bit to look into her eyes. "…What do you mean?" he asked finally.
"I think… just being around you makes me happy," said Wanda.
Cosmo grinned. "Well then, I need to be with you every day!"
Wanda's smile faded. "We can't," she said. "I have my godparenting duties, and you…clean toilets!"
"Some of them are really gross, too!" said Cosmo. "But I did find cheese in one of them."
"Yuck!" cried Wanda. "I hope you didn't eat it!"
"Of course I ate it! It was cheese! That was right before I was in the hospital for a week," he added.
Wanda's thoughts trailed off in a different direction than Cosmo's were, apparently. "Cosmo? Do you remember that time you made me and Leslie those flowers?"
Cosmo nodded. "Yeah."
"They're still alive," said Wanda quietly. "And you made them more than two hundred and fifty years ago. You're very talented."
Cosmo looked surprised. "You think I'm talented?" he asked in shock.
Wanda smiled and nodded. Cosmo hugged her again. Neither one said anything, until Cosmo finally said, slowly, "You're… you're my best friend."
Wanda clutched Cosmo tightly. Just as she had been thinking that no one really cared about her, she ran into Cosmo. Literally. She pulled away from him again. "Cosmo, we need to spend everyday of my break together."
"When do you have to go back?" asked Cosmo.
"In a week," said Wanda. Cosmo looked upset.
"I wish I could spend more than a week with you!" he cried.
"I wish we could, too," said Wanda. "But meet me here tomorrow at about 10:00 A.M. or so, okay? Then we can spend the whole day together."
Cosmo sighed. "But I don't know if Mama will let me."
"Who cares?" asked Wanda. She then looked at him, somewhat confused. "You still live with your mom?"
Cosmo grinned. "Yeah! Someone told my mama that I can't live by myself. And I like living with her, anyway!"
Wanda sighed. "Well… meet me here anyway, okay?" She picked up some cheese. "And now I'll eat some of this."
"That's it!" said Cosmo happily, breaking completely away from Wanda and flying over to the big pile of cheese.
Wanda smiled and gazed at Cosmo, who was happily eating the cheese. It was odd that her strange little childhood friend, dismissed as stupid by so many people, could be so funny, and caring, and sweet. Cosmo looked up at her, and Wanda gazed into his gentle green eyes, realizing again how beautiful they were.
"Don't you want some more cheese?" asked Cosmo, holding out some cheese to her.
Wanda nodded and flew over to the pile of cheese, not breaking eye contact with Cosmo. Even as she grabbed some cheese, she continued to look into his eyes. Cosmo finished his hunk of cheese but continued keeping eye contact with Wanda, gazing at her gently.
"I'd better go," said Wanda quietly. "I want to go see my sister and brother-in-law."
Cosmo nodded, somewhat sadly. "Okay," he said, looking away from her.
"I'll see you tomorrow," she said, flying over to him and touching his shoulder gently. Cosmo looked up at her and she smiled.
Cosmo smiled, too. "Okay! See you tomorrow!"
Wanda continued to smile as she poofed off.
***
Her week off was the most fun Wanda had had in a long time. She and Cosmo explored everywhere, sometimes even going to Earth and disguising themselves as humans. Unfortunately, she soon found herself back being a godmother.
Well, not so unfortunately. Wanda was awfully fond of her goddaughter, a remarkably perceptive eight-year-old girl named Cassandra. Wanda had confided in her how she often felt lonely and still hadn't gotten over her first boyfriend.
Her goddaughter looked happy to see her. "Hi, Wanda. How was your break?"
Wanda smiled. "I actually had a lot of fun."
"Really?" asked Cassandra. "See, I told you that you could be happy again. Did you spend time with your boyfriend?"
"I didn't even see him," said Wanda. "My best friend Cosmo and I spent the whole week together, actually. We had a blast!"
"So now you're happy?" said Cassandra. "Looks like you finally figured out how."
"Yes…" said Wanda, her voice trailing off sadly, "but I won't see him again till next year. And he's stuck cleaning toilets."
"Cleaning toilets? What'd he do, anyway?"
"He accidentally burned off Jorgen von Strangle's wings," said Wanda. "Accidentally. Cosmo wouldn't mean to hurt anybody."
"He sounds nice," said Cassandra.
"He's really sweet," said Wanda with a smile. "And he cares a lot about me, and he wants to make me happy. Some people think he's stupid… and, well… he's not. He's different, but he understands things that I don't, and… he's really funny too. And…"
"Jeez, Wanda," said Cassandra with a smile, "break up with Stellar and date Cosmo! You obviously like him a lot."
Wanda felt her stomach knot up, but she managed to say, "Cosmo and I are just friends, nothing more."
"Sure," said Cassandra. "You're blushing. You're bright red. You should see yourself."
"Yeah right," muttered Wanda, but she could feel her face get even hotter.
***
A few nights later, Wanda, disguised as Cassandra's pet dog, found her self dreaming her terribly clichéd dream again. She was flying behind a tree and…
~No, don't do it!~ she thought to herself. ~You know what will happen!~
Her efforts to stop herself were in vain, for she suddenly found herself behind the tree and looking straight into the eyes of…
"Cosmo?" asked Wanda in shock.
"Yep!" said Cosmo.
"But Cougar's always behind this tree, not you!" cried Wanda.
"Yep," said Cosmo. "So why do you think that this time I'm here?"
"Uh…" said Wanda dully. "I don't know. This dream was confusing enough before, but now it's-"
"Making a whole lot of sense," said Cosmo. "Look, this dream before symbolized that even though it was past time for you to get over Cougar, you were still in love with him and unable to let him go."
Wanda nodded. "Okay, I'll buy that."
"Okay. Now, why do you think that I've replaced Cougar?"
"Because…" Wanda slowly drew in her breath in realization. "Because I love you."
"Great!" said Cosmo happily. "I knew you could figure it out!"
"Oh my gosh," whispered Wanda. "I really do! I really love you, Cosmo!"
Cosmo put his hands on his hips. "Okay, that's great and all, but you do realize that I'm not the real Cosmo."
"Huh?" asked Wanda.
"I'm just in your dream!" said Cosmo. "The real Cosmo has no clue of how you feel about him! So you've gotta tell him!"
"Good point," admitted Wanda. "You know, you seem awfully smart."
Cosmo shrugged. "How could I have gotten my point across if I was as idiotic as my real self?"
Wanda suddenly noticed Cougar and his wife flying by. Cougar smiled at Wanda and Wanda smiled back, feeling no pain in her heart.
"You know, Cosmo," she said, "I still love Cougar, but I've accepted the fact that he's with someone else now. I love him, but I don't want him anymore."
Cosmo grinned. "You've finally figured out how to be happy!" he said.
"May I hug you, Cosmo?" Wanda suddenly asked.
Cosmo shrugged. "I'm not the real Cosmo," he said.
"I don't care," said Wanda, hugging him tightly and kissing him on the cheek.
The two hugged each other for a few moments, then Cosmo gently pulled away. "You have to wake up now. Remember everything I told you!"
The sunlight pried open Wanda's eyes. She poofed herself into a fairy and leaned up against the wall, feeling overwhelmed with her finally realized love for Cosmo. Cassandra woke up.
"Jeez, Wanda, are you okay?" she asked. "Did you have that dream again?"
"Yes, but it was different," said Wanda quietly. "I finally realized that I love Cosmo."
Cassandra grinned. "Took you long enough."
"I can't believe how long it took!" cried Wanda. "And I can't believe I finally realized it in a terribly clichéd way!" She looked at Cassandra. "I have to wail all year to tell him, too!"
Cassandra thought for a moment. "What about what you were telling me? About how you wanted to take a short break to celebrate your parents' five hundredth wedding anniversary? You could tell him then."
Wanda smiled. "You're right. But that means I have to wait until August…"
(AN: Aha! The plot thickens! Will Wanda get a chance to tell Cosmo how she feels? What about Stellar? Will Commander actually be able to write a chapter without talking in it? Will she write author's notes that are actually shorter than the chapter itself? Will the band continue to get ones throughout the season? Find out in the next exciting chapter of A Fish Called Wanda! P.S. If you happen to be in Nebraska (why you would be, I have no clue) and you see this totally awesome band playing George Gershwin music (he's Mr. I've Got Rhythm!) that's my band! Cheer for us! In the mean time, hasta la vista, baby!)
Notes: Thanks for the offer, JediWanda. Since I'm too uncreative, Wanda's next boyfriend will indeed be called Stellar. And to Sara, you have my full permission to sponsor Greg. Actually, I wasn't even planning to have him in the story after Wanda broke up with him, but after reading your review I thought, "Yeah, that would be funny, wouldn't it?")
Timmy chuckled. "A one day relationship? How long is the next one going to be, two hours?" Timmy suddenly stopped and counted on his fingers as best he could, since Castle seemed to like to grab them. "That's four now, right? Is Cosmo number five?"
Wanda shook her head. "Remember what I told you? I don't count Cosmo as one of my ex-boyfriends."
"So you've still got one more?" asked Timmy. "Jeez, are you unlucky in relationships."
Wanda laughed. "That's what I was starting to think then. Besides, I was still in love with Cougar, remember."
"Get over him, already!" cried Timmy.
"It would've made my life a lot easier," muttered Wanda. "But to top that off, I started having these terribly clichéd dreams. Thanks a lot, Commander."
"Hey, this whole story is clichéd," said Commander. "But do tell. What were your terribly clichéd dreams?"
"As if you don't know, you're the author," said Wanda with a sigh.
"But I don't know," said Timmy. "And neither do the readers."
"Alright," said Wanda finally, in resignation. "I would be flying through this forest and I'd go behind this tree. When I had this dream over and over again I'd try to stop myself because I knew what was behind there, but I couldn't."
"What was it?" cried Timmy.
"It was Cougar, DUH," said Wanda. "And I'd try to hug him but he'd say, 'I need to go', and then he'd fly over to his wife and ignore me. Then a bunch of people would come out from behind trees and laugh at me, while I just cried out for help, but no one would help me."
"That is clichéd," muttered Timmy.
"And I'm so tired of typing the word clichéd," muttered Commander. "I have to use the ALT code billions of times!"
"Five, actually," said Wanda. "Stop complaining. At least you didn't have this same dream almost every night for nearly one hundred years."
"That probably got old," said Timmy.
"Gaa!" cried Castle, reaching out for Timmy's hands, which he had moved away from the infant.
"Cassie's getting kind of hyper," said Timmy to Wanda. "Could you poof up a rattle for her or something?"
Wanda waved her wand and a teddy bear appeared in Timmy's lap. "There. I thought a rattle could get kinda loud."
"Got it. So, are you going to continue now?" asked Timmy.
"Yes, I guess so. When I was… three hundred and fifty-two years old, I think, I started dating again. Although, considering my previous dating experiences, I have no clue why I did."
"Was this Stellar?" asked Timmy.
Wanda looked confused. "How did you know his name?"
"I read the author's notes," said Timmy with a shrug. "So, how did this one go?"
"Not great," admitted Wanda. "We eventually showed up late or didn't show up at all for our dates. We didn't really care. I was pretty apathetic. But we hadn't officially broken up yet."
"So when did you?" asked Timmy.
Wanda sighed. "Well, I have to go to when I was waiting for him to show up for a date, even though I got to the meeting spot half an hour late. And this is the part that everyone's been waiting for…"
"What is it?" asked Timmy.
"Well, listen…"
***
"I guess he's not going to show up," muttered Wanda. "And I don't really care." She stretched out her wings, readjusted her crown, and got ready to fly back home. It was Christmas break, of course, and she could think of better ways to spend her break. (AN: When Wanda was dating, remember, she could really only see her boyfriend once a year, during the Christmas break that all fairies have.)
Her eyes scanned the ground as she started to fly back to her house. ~Maybe I could spend time with Sarah and Tony,~ she thought to herself. ~Or maybe Davy. Or all of us could go to Mom and Dad's--~
SMACK!
Since Wanda wasn't watching where she was going, she had run smack dab into another fairy. "Sorry," she mumbled, rubbing her head. She then noticed that the fairy she had run into was none other than her childhood friend, Cosmo.
"Oh, jeez, Cosmo, I'm really sorry," she said. "Does your head hurt as much as mine?"
Cosmo looked a little confused. "But I don't know how much yours hurts! So how could I know if that's how much mine hurts?"
"Good point," said Wanda with a smile. Her apathetic mood was starting to lift. She always seemed to be happiest when she was with her best friend, she thought.
"How come I never see you anymore?" asked Cosmo, looking a little hurt. "Aren't we still friends?"
"Of course, Cosmo!" said Wanda. "We're best friends! But I've just been… busy with other things."
"Are you dating again?" Cosmo blurted out suddenly. He looked embarrassed right after he said it.
"Well… sorta," said Wanda. She looked at the ground sadly. "We're not putting much effort into our relationship. And I don't really care, to tell you the truth. Maybe I should just stop dating. After five boyfriends, I'm not sure if I can make any relationship work."
"You can't say that!" said Cosmo. "There's got to be someone that you like who likes you! In fact, I don't see how anyone COULDN'T like you!"
Wanda smiled and blushed a little. "Thanks, Cos," she said as her smile faded, "but I'm so sad nowadays that I just don't care about much at all anymore!"
Cosmo's brow crinkled in thought. Wanda smiled to herself, poofed up a light bulb, and held it over Cosmo's head.
"I know how to make you happy, Wanda!" said Cosmo suddenly. He waved his wand and poofed up some cheese.
"Cheese?" asked Wanda in confusion.
"Yeah!" said Cosmo happily, taking a big bite out of a hunk of cheese. "Cheese makes EVERYTHING better!"
Wanda laughed, in spite of herself. Cosmo, sensing that he had made Wanda happy, smiled at her gently.
"I told you cheese makes everything better," he said, almost softly.
Wanda smiled and hugged Cosmo tightly. "I don't think it's the cheese, Cosmo, I think it's just you."
Cosmo pulled away from Wanda a bit to look into her eyes. "…What do you mean?" he asked finally.
"I think… just being around you makes me happy," said Wanda.
Cosmo grinned. "Well then, I need to be with you every day!"
Wanda's smile faded. "We can't," she said. "I have my godparenting duties, and you…clean toilets!"
"Some of them are really gross, too!" said Cosmo. "But I did find cheese in one of them."
"Yuck!" cried Wanda. "I hope you didn't eat it!"
"Of course I ate it! It was cheese! That was right before I was in the hospital for a week," he added.
Wanda's thoughts trailed off in a different direction than Cosmo's were, apparently. "Cosmo? Do you remember that time you made me and Leslie those flowers?"
Cosmo nodded. "Yeah."
"They're still alive," said Wanda quietly. "And you made them more than two hundred and fifty years ago. You're very talented."
Cosmo looked surprised. "You think I'm talented?" he asked in shock.
Wanda smiled and nodded. Cosmo hugged her again. Neither one said anything, until Cosmo finally said, slowly, "You're… you're my best friend."
Wanda clutched Cosmo tightly. Just as she had been thinking that no one really cared about her, she ran into Cosmo. Literally. She pulled away from him again. "Cosmo, we need to spend everyday of my break together."
"When do you have to go back?" asked Cosmo.
"In a week," said Wanda. Cosmo looked upset.
"I wish I could spend more than a week with you!" he cried.
"I wish we could, too," said Wanda. "But meet me here tomorrow at about 10:00 A.M. or so, okay? Then we can spend the whole day together."
Cosmo sighed. "But I don't know if Mama will let me."
"Who cares?" asked Wanda. She then looked at him, somewhat confused. "You still live with your mom?"
Cosmo grinned. "Yeah! Someone told my mama that I can't live by myself. And I like living with her, anyway!"
Wanda sighed. "Well… meet me here anyway, okay?" She picked up some cheese. "And now I'll eat some of this."
"That's it!" said Cosmo happily, breaking completely away from Wanda and flying over to the big pile of cheese.
Wanda smiled and gazed at Cosmo, who was happily eating the cheese. It was odd that her strange little childhood friend, dismissed as stupid by so many people, could be so funny, and caring, and sweet. Cosmo looked up at her, and Wanda gazed into his gentle green eyes, realizing again how beautiful they were.
"Don't you want some more cheese?" asked Cosmo, holding out some cheese to her.
Wanda nodded and flew over to the pile of cheese, not breaking eye contact with Cosmo. Even as she grabbed some cheese, she continued to look into his eyes. Cosmo finished his hunk of cheese but continued keeping eye contact with Wanda, gazing at her gently.
"I'd better go," said Wanda quietly. "I want to go see my sister and brother-in-law."
Cosmo nodded, somewhat sadly. "Okay," he said, looking away from her.
"I'll see you tomorrow," she said, flying over to him and touching his shoulder gently. Cosmo looked up at her and she smiled.
Cosmo smiled, too. "Okay! See you tomorrow!"
Wanda continued to smile as she poofed off.
***
Her week off was the most fun Wanda had had in a long time. She and Cosmo explored everywhere, sometimes even going to Earth and disguising themselves as humans. Unfortunately, she soon found herself back being a godmother.
Well, not so unfortunately. Wanda was awfully fond of her goddaughter, a remarkably perceptive eight-year-old girl named Cassandra. Wanda had confided in her how she often felt lonely and still hadn't gotten over her first boyfriend.
Her goddaughter looked happy to see her. "Hi, Wanda. How was your break?"
Wanda smiled. "I actually had a lot of fun."
"Really?" asked Cassandra. "See, I told you that you could be happy again. Did you spend time with your boyfriend?"
"I didn't even see him," said Wanda. "My best friend Cosmo and I spent the whole week together, actually. We had a blast!"
"So now you're happy?" said Cassandra. "Looks like you finally figured out how."
"Yes…" said Wanda, her voice trailing off sadly, "but I won't see him again till next year. And he's stuck cleaning toilets."
"Cleaning toilets? What'd he do, anyway?"
"He accidentally burned off Jorgen von Strangle's wings," said Wanda. "Accidentally. Cosmo wouldn't mean to hurt anybody."
"He sounds nice," said Cassandra.
"He's really sweet," said Wanda with a smile. "And he cares a lot about me, and he wants to make me happy. Some people think he's stupid… and, well… he's not. He's different, but he understands things that I don't, and… he's really funny too. And…"
"Jeez, Wanda," said Cassandra with a smile, "break up with Stellar and date Cosmo! You obviously like him a lot."
Wanda felt her stomach knot up, but she managed to say, "Cosmo and I are just friends, nothing more."
"Sure," said Cassandra. "You're blushing. You're bright red. You should see yourself."
"Yeah right," muttered Wanda, but she could feel her face get even hotter.
***
A few nights later, Wanda, disguised as Cassandra's pet dog, found her self dreaming her terribly clichéd dream again. She was flying behind a tree and…
~No, don't do it!~ she thought to herself. ~You know what will happen!~
Her efforts to stop herself were in vain, for she suddenly found herself behind the tree and looking straight into the eyes of…
"Cosmo?" asked Wanda in shock.
"Yep!" said Cosmo.
"But Cougar's always behind this tree, not you!" cried Wanda.
"Yep," said Cosmo. "So why do you think that this time I'm here?"
"Uh…" said Wanda dully. "I don't know. This dream was confusing enough before, but now it's-"
"Making a whole lot of sense," said Cosmo. "Look, this dream before symbolized that even though it was past time for you to get over Cougar, you were still in love with him and unable to let him go."
Wanda nodded. "Okay, I'll buy that."
"Okay. Now, why do you think that I've replaced Cougar?"
"Because…" Wanda slowly drew in her breath in realization. "Because I love you."
"Great!" said Cosmo happily. "I knew you could figure it out!"
"Oh my gosh," whispered Wanda. "I really do! I really love you, Cosmo!"
Cosmo put his hands on his hips. "Okay, that's great and all, but you do realize that I'm not the real Cosmo."
"Huh?" asked Wanda.
"I'm just in your dream!" said Cosmo. "The real Cosmo has no clue of how you feel about him! So you've gotta tell him!"
"Good point," admitted Wanda. "You know, you seem awfully smart."
Cosmo shrugged. "How could I have gotten my point across if I was as idiotic as my real self?"
Wanda suddenly noticed Cougar and his wife flying by. Cougar smiled at Wanda and Wanda smiled back, feeling no pain in her heart.
"You know, Cosmo," she said, "I still love Cougar, but I've accepted the fact that he's with someone else now. I love him, but I don't want him anymore."
Cosmo grinned. "You've finally figured out how to be happy!" he said.
"May I hug you, Cosmo?" Wanda suddenly asked.
Cosmo shrugged. "I'm not the real Cosmo," he said.
"I don't care," said Wanda, hugging him tightly and kissing him on the cheek.
The two hugged each other for a few moments, then Cosmo gently pulled away. "You have to wake up now. Remember everything I told you!"
The sunlight pried open Wanda's eyes. She poofed herself into a fairy and leaned up against the wall, feeling overwhelmed with her finally realized love for Cosmo. Cassandra woke up.
"Jeez, Wanda, are you okay?" she asked. "Did you have that dream again?"
"Yes, but it was different," said Wanda quietly. "I finally realized that I love Cosmo."
Cassandra grinned. "Took you long enough."
"I can't believe how long it took!" cried Wanda. "And I can't believe I finally realized it in a terribly clichéd way!" She looked at Cassandra. "I have to wail all year to tell him, too!"
Cassandra thought for a moment. "What about what you were telling me? About how you wanted to take a short break to celebrate your parents' five hundredth wedding anniversary? You could tell him then."
Wanda smiled. "You're right. But that means I have to wait until August…"
(AN: Aha! The plot thickens! Will Wanda get a chance to tell Cosmo how she feels? What about Stellar? Will Commander actually be able to write a chapter without talking in it? Will she write author's notes that are actually shorter than the chapter itself? Will the band continue to get ones throughout the season? Find out in the next exciting chapter of A Fish Called Wanda! P.S. If you happen to be in Nebraska (why you would be, I have no clue) and you see this totally awesome band playing George Gershwin music (he's Mr. I've Got Rhythm!) that's my band! Cheer for us! In the mean time, hasta la vista, baby!)