(AN: The band state competition is tomorrow… and I hope we get a one! We've done okay this whole season, but we've been getting pretty low ones. I thought I'd get this up early before my birthday celebration and the last home football game tonight. Hmmm… better change my age on my info page! I'm seventeen now and don't feel a bit different…)
"Finally!" said Timmy. "You and Cosmo finally got engaged! But did he seriously create a ton of stars?"
"Why do you think it's called the cosmos?" asked Wanda, smiling lovingly.
"Wait," said Timmy. "Lemme get this straight. Randy loved Leslie, but Leslie loved Cosmo, but Cosmo loved you, but you loved Cougar, but Cougar loved… his girlfriend?"
"Confusing, isn't it?" Wanda smiled. Castle, whom Timmy was still holding, dropped her teddy bear and whimpered pitifully. Wanda picked the bear up and gave it back to her daughter.
"That was really touching!" admitted Timmy. "I mean, it even got Commander choked up!"
Commander sniffled. "I'm sorry, but… it just makes me miss Marvin, that's all."
Timmy raised his eyebrow. "Commander, do you think it's healthy to be completely obsessed with Marvin like that?"
"He's not my only obsession," snorted Commander.
"Oh really?" asked Wanda. "What's another?"
"Oh, I don't know if I should tell you…" started Commander.
"TELL THEM!" forty-two voices suddenly cried out.
Timmy and Wanda looked shocked. "Who were those?" they asked.
"Oh, alright. I'm obsessed with all of the American presidents! And I'm holding them all captive!"
"But Commander, only about five of them are still alive," pointed out Timmy.
"Hey! I'm the author and I can make anyone appear who I want to!" cried Commander.
Barney appeared out of nowhere. "Hey kids! I love you, you love me--"
"AAAAAUUUUUUGGGHHH!" screamed Timmy, Wanda, and Castle. Wanda managed to lift her wand and poof Barney out of sight.
Timmy took in gasping breaths. "Don't ever do that again!" he begged.
Wanda seemed to have recovered quickly. "Commander, I think maybe you'd better let the presidents go."
"Well… OKAY," Commander said grudgingly. "But I'll keep my favorite."
"I speak softly but I carry a big stick! And I'm gonna use it to hurt you!" cried Teddy Roosevelt.
"Let TR go too," said Wanda. She smiled. "Hey, TR, do you remember me? Cosmo and I were your fairy godparents!"
"Uh… no," said TR.
"Didn't think so," said Wanda sadly. "Your memory of us is erased, just like everyone's is once they hit eighteen--"
"WHAT?" cried Timmy. "Are you saying that when I'm eighteen, I won't remember you and Cosmo… and Cassie?"
Wanda shook her head sadly. "I'm sorry, sport, but that's just the way things go. But I don't want to think about that right now."
"I'm ready to go now," said TR.
"Party at my place!" cried George Washington.
All the presidents ran out. Commander sighed. "Why do I have to give up all my obsessions?" she asked.
"Let's get on with the story," said Timmy with a sigh. "Thank goodness there'll be only one more chapter after this." He gasped. "Only one more chapter till my baby sibling is born!"
He ran to his door and leaned his head out. "Is my mom in labor yet?" he asked.
"No, just wait," said Commander.
"Let's stay focused," said Wanda.
"Right," said Timmy. "So how did your parents take the news of your engagement?"
"They were happy for me, of course… but Sarah was ecstatic. Tony and Davy were pretty happy, too."
"So then, when did you get married?"
"About four years after that," said Wanda.
Timmy looked surprised. "That's a long engagement!"
"Fairies stay engaged longer… because they live longer, you know. Besides, I wanted to finish my godparenting duties with Cassandra. But when our wedding rehearsal came along… oh boy, was THAT strange…"
"Why?" asked Timmy.
"Well, let me tell you--"
"Wait!" cried Commander. "I want to do the fade out thing! It was a dark and stormy day…"
***
It really was a dark and stormy day. Sarah flew inside the church, looking like a drowned rat.
"He isn't out here! Jeez, Wanda, I never know where that boy will fly off to next!"
"He's probably in here somewhere hiding," said Wanda reassuringly.
"He'd better be. LUDEN! WHERE ARE YOU?" cried Sarah.
"I'm sure he's fine," said Wanda, hiding a smile. It was interesting how quickly Sarah had become a worried mother.
Sarah waved her wand and dried herself off in an instant. "He'd better be around here somewhere. The rehearsal starts any minute now, and since he's a part of your wedding--"
Sarah was interrupted when a small, three and a half-year-old fairy with mahogany brown hair and eyes flew in the sanctuary, giggling madly. Sarah put her hands on her hips and glared at her son, although she did seem relieved to see him.
"Luden! Where were you?" she asked.
"Hi, Mommy!" said Luden happily, avoiding the question.
Then Cosmo flew in. "Hmm, now where could he be…"
Luden's giggle gave him away. Cosmo zoomed up towards him and grabbed him. "Ha ha, gotcha!" he said.
Luden kicked and playfully tried to escape. "Aargh, let me go, Uncle Cosmo!" he said, giggling.
"Never!" laughed Cosmo. But Sarah grabbed Luden away from Cosmo.
"Luden, I had no clue where you were! Next time tell me where you are before you go off and play, okay?"
"But Mommy, Uncle Cosmo was chasing me!" cried Luden.
Cosmo gave Sarah a somewhat ashamed grin. "Sorry, Sarah, but he was bored!"
Sarah smiled. "That's okay, Cosmo, no harm done."
Wanda smiled too. Sarah could tell how much Luden and Cosmo liked to play together. In fact, at that very moment Luden struggled out of his mother's arms and flew over towards Cosmo.
"Uncle Cosmo, I'm hungry!" he cried.
"No time to eat!" said Davy, who had suddenly appeared. "We'll have the rehearsal now, but you can eat how much you want at the rehearsal dinner right after this, okay?"
"Okay, Uncle Davy!" said Luden happily.
"Alright, let's get ready," Sarah began. "Cosmo, go the back of the--"
"Uh, Sarah, it's not like this has to go perfect," reminded Wanda. "It is just the rehearsal, after all."
"I'm hungry too!" said Cosmo suddenly.
"We'll eat after this is done!" cried Sarah, Wanda, and Davy all at once. Cosmo just laughed.
"YOU ALL SAID THE SAME THING AT THE SAME TIME! HA HA HA!"
Luden, who was flying around the room and still looking rather hungry, looked out into the hallway and gasped. "Yay!" he said suddenly, flying out into the hallway.
Sarah started to fly after him, then stopped. With her jaw dropped and eyes popped, she stared out into the hallway.
"What is it?" asked Wanda.
"That's the biggest hunk of cheese I've ever seen," said Sarah. Everyone else in the room stared out into the hallway with her.
A hunk of cheese, almost scrapping the ceiling and touching both walls on either side of it, was blocking the hallway. Luden was taking a huge bite out of it.
"Yay!" said Cosmo happily. "My cheese appeared!"
Wanda stared at Cosmo. "YOU made this?"
"Of course!" said Cosmo. "Did you see me wave my wand and hear the poof? Cheese for everyone!"
"Wait!" cried Sarah, grabbing Cosmo before he could fly towards the cheese. "Let's have this at the wedding reception tomorrow night. A big hunk of cheese!"
"Interesting idea," said Wanda with a smile.
"Aww, but I wanted cheese now!" said Cosmo and Luden simultaneously.
***
"At your wedding reception, you had a huge hunk of cheese?" asked Timmy in disbelief.
"Gaah!" cried Castle, stretching her arms out at the mere mention of cheese.
Wanda laughed. "My family still talks about that… and it's been nine thousand, eight hundred ninety-five years."
"So how did the wedding go?" asked Timmy.
"Under the, uh, cheese circumstances, pretty well. At the rehearsal Cosmo kept forgetting his lines--"
"How do you forget your lines at a wedding if you're the GROOM?" cried Timmy. "Don't you just repeat after the minister?"
"Hey, he was nervous," said Wanda. "But he said everything perfectly at the wedding. Then we had our reception and ate cheese."
"So how many people went to your wedding?"
"Just my close friends and family. And they weren't divided by bride side and groom side, mainly because Cosmo didn't invite anyone."
"Really?" asked Timmy.
"Of course," said Wanda, "isn't it obvious? His only family was his mother, and I was his only friend."
"Right," said Timmy. "So what did you do after the reception?"
"We went to my house--technically OUR house now. We still have it, you know. We spend our Christmas breaks there."
"And…?" prodded Timmy.
"Well, not much, but apparently Commander wants me to tell it, so I guess I will…"
***
Cosmo lay on the couch, moaning pitifully. "I ate way too much cheese," he managed to say. He winced a bit. "And I never thought I'd say that--ever!"
"Well, you know, dear, I told you after the fifteenth serving of cheese you got that you should stop…"
"But Wanda!" moaned Cosmo. "It was sooooo good!"
"Do you want something to settle your stomach?" asked Wanda.
Cosmo looked up at her gratefully. "A glass of water would be nice."
Wanda poofed up a glass of water and sat down next to Cosmo with it. "I can't believe you got sick on our wedding night--from eating cheese. I mean, most people if they get sick drink too much, but… I guess getting sick from cheese is a better option." Cosmo sipped his water thankfully while Wanda ran her fingers through his hair. "Are you going to be okay, puddin?"
Cosmo brightened considerably. "Pudding! That's what I want!"
Wanda laughed. "I guess that's a yes," she said, leaning in close towards him and gazing softly into his eyes.
Cosmo returned the gaze. "I feel better now," he said quietly.
Wanda smiled. "I love you."
"I love you too," said Cosmo, also smiling.
They kissed and held each other tightly. Cosmo's arms slid up Wanda's back, right to where her wings were. He broke away from the kiss and stroked Wanda's wings, down right to the joint to where they connected to her back.
Wanda started giggling insanely. "Oh, ha ha, stop it, Cosmo! That tickles! Ha ha ha!"
"That's weird!" said Cosmo, looking confused while examining her wings. He let go of them, and Wanda gasped for breath.
"What's weird?" she managed to ask.
"Your wings!" said Cosmo. "They look like fairy wings!"
Wanda chuckled. "Cosmo, I AM a fairy!"
"No you're not!" said Cosmo, shaking his head solemnly. "You're an angel, and you should have angel wings!"
Wanda could feel her heart swell with love. She hugged her husband tightly; so tightly, in fact, that she pushed him down on the couch and she was lying on top of him.
"You really think I'm an angel?" she asked him.
"Yeah…" said Cosmo slowly, "is that the right thing to say?"
"You bet it is," said Wanda with a smile, kissing Cosmo again.
"Wow, I actually think I'm getting pretty good at this husband thing!" said Cosmo with a grin.
Wanda shifted a bit. She was still in her wedding dress and it was feeling very uncomfortable on her. She kicked her shoes off, eagerly wanting to get all her clothes off of her. Cosmo gave her a strange smile, not seeming to know what she was doing but liking it anyway.
But then Wanda suddenly stopped. "Cosmo… I'll tell you what I think."
"Oh boy, me too!" said Cosmo. He paused for a moment. "Okay. What do YOU think?"
Wanda grinned. "Well, it's about… do you ever want to have children?"
Cosmo's eyes grew wide. "Ooooh! You mean like Sarah and Tony had Luden? Yeah! I want to have little babies that are all ours!"
"Good, me too," said Wanda. "But I want us to take on our godparenting duties first. I want to wait to have a baby… probably about five hundred years, so we can focus on being fairy godparents for awhile."
Cosmo looked surprised. "I get to be a godparent?"
"Of course," said Wanda. "We're going to go down there tomorrow and get you registered, and I'm sure they'll let you be a godparent. If I am, then you have to be one, too."
***
"What do you mean that even though I'm a godparent, Cosmo might not be able to be one?"
The fairy at the godparenting office in Fairy World shrugged. "He's got to take that test, you know. If he doesn't pass, then I'm sorry, but we can't trust him with a child," she said.
"But we're married!" cried Wanda. "And I don't want to give up my job!"
"I like cheese!" blurted out Cosmo.
"Your husband will just have to take the same tests you did… and a new one we just added. Nothing special, though."
"What is it?" asked Wanda.
"An IQ test. It measures your intelligence quotient. Humans won't come up with the concept for almost ten thousand years. But let's get started. Come with me, Cosmo!"
"Do I get cheese?" asked Cosmo, following the fairy.
Wanda sighed. "I hope Cosmo doesn't fail that IQ test," she murmured.
***
"I'm done!" said Cosmo happily, flying out of the building in which he had been taking the tests. Wanda smiled at him.
"How did it go?" she asked.
Cosmo held Wanda's hands happily. "They gave me cheese!" he exclaimed.
The other fairy flew out too. "I'm going to go talk with her, okay?" said Wanda.
"Okay," said Cosmo. "I'll eat some more cheese." He pulled some cheese out of his pocket and munched on it happily.
The fairy gave Wanda some papers. "Well, he passed all the tests--"
"That's great!" said Wanda.
"--but we do have a problem with the IQ test."
Wanda looked confused. "I thought you said he passed all the tests."
"The IQ test isn't pass or fail. It simply gives you a rating. Let me show you the chart." The fairy pulled out a chart and pointed to it. "If you have an IQ of one hundred, you have average intelligence. When you get higher than that, you get into quick learner, gifted, and genius levels, but I need to talk about lower than one hundred." She pointed down at seventy. "That's the drop-off for mental retardation."
Wanda bit her lip and swallowed nervously. "What did Cosmo get?" she managed to ask.
"I'm actually surprsied," admitted the fairy, "but he got a seventy-five. And I always thought he was mentally retarded. The problem is that we require at least an IQ of eighty to become a fairy."
Wanda sighed. "Look, he'll be with me. I can teach him. And I can fix his mistakes."
"Well…" said the fairy hesitatingly.
"Look, I love my job and don't want to quit, but I love my husband too and don't want to be separated from him. If I have to chose between the two of them… then I guess I'll just have to quit godparenting."
"You're one of the best!" cried the fairy. "Fine… I lie on his official records and say he got an eighty." The fairy scowled a bit. "You should be thankful, I wouldn't do that for just anybody!"
"Thank you so much!" said Wanda.
"No problem," muttered the fairy.
***
"Okay, what's with all the inconsistencies with your story?" asked Timmy tactlessly.
Wanda looked confused. "What do you mean?"
"You and Cosmo were going to wait only five hundred years before having a kid, but… or do you have other kids besides Cassie?"
"No, Castle's our only child," said Wanda.
"Seems to me like you waited more like nine thousand, eight hundred ninety-five years!"
"Well, after we had been married five hundred years or so, we did try to have a child, but it never worked," admitted Wanda. "We went to the doctor, because I assumed one of us must've been sterile."
"What does that mean?"
"Unable to have children," said Wanda. "And I was right, the doctor said that Cosmo was. I wasn't too surprised, though, since Mama Cosma said that she had that shot of vodka when she was pregnant with him. It must've affected his reproductive system. But anyway, I didn't really care too much at that point. I enjoyed our godchildren so much that I didn't think we needed children."
Timmy crossed his arms and stared at Wanda coldly. "Wanda, when you got pregnant with Cassie, you didn't let us know until right before she was born. She doesn't really look like either of you, and now you tell me that Cosmo's sterile? I think maybe Castle's dad isn't Cosmo…"
Wanda groaned. "Oh, don't get on this again. Castle is Cosmo's daughter and I can prove it." Wanda waved her wand and poofed up a hunk of cheese.
Upon seeing the cheese, Castle crawled straight out of Timmy's lap and to the cheese, devouring it ravenously.
Timmy laughed. "Okay, okay, she is most certainly Cosmo's daughter."
"I don't really know how I got pregnant, but I guess Cosmo's sterility must've corrected itself. And since I married him, Cosmo's been the only person that I… well, you know."
"Yeah, don't make this R-rated," muttered Timmy. He looked at Wanda expectantly. "So then what?"
"Well, we had a bunch of other godchildren, like Teddy Roosevelt, Bill Gates, and Crocker--and he was such an intelligent boy, too--but that's about it, I guess."
"You're done with your story?" cried Timmy in shock.
"Yes," said Wanda, looking confused, "why?"
"Because that means--"
And from downstairs, Mrs. Turner suddenly cried out in pain, "Honey, I think it's time!"
"Oh, crud," muttered Timmy.
(AN: One chapter left! In case you're wondering, I named Sarah and Tony's son--and Cosmo and Wanda's nephew--after my favorite brand of cough drops! Because cough drops are the best. Take care, and see you at the last chapter! God, I'm going to miss this story…)
"Finally!" said Timmy. "You and Cosmo finally got engaged! But did he seriously create a ton of stars?"
"Why do you think it's called the cosmos?" asked Wanda, smiling lovingly.
"Wait," said Timmy. "Lemme get this straight. Randy loved Leslie, but Leslie loved Cosmo, but Cosmo loved you, but you loved Cougar, but Cougar loved… his girlfriend?"
"Confusing, isn't it?" Wanda smiled. Castle, whom Timmy was still holding, dropped her teddy bear and whimpered pitifully. Wanda picked the bear up and gave it back to her daughter.
"That was really touching!" admitted Timmy. "I mean, it even got Commander choked up!"
Commander sniffled. "I'm sorry, but… it just makes me miss Marvin, that's all."
Timmy raised his eyebrow. "Commander, do you think it's healthy to be completely obsessed with Marvin like that?"
"He's not my only obsession," snorted Commander.
"Oh really?" asked Wanda. "What's another?"
"Oh, I don't know if I should tell you…" started Commander.
"TELL THEM!" forty-two voices suddenly cried out.
Timmy and Wanda looked shocked. "Who were those?" they asked.
"Oh, alright. I'm obsessed with all of the American presidents! And I'm holding them all captive!"
"But Commander, only about five of them are still alive," pointed out Timmy.
"Hey! I'm the author and I can make anyone appear who I want to!" cried Commander.
Barney appeared out of nowhere. "Hey kids! I love you, you love me--"
"AAAAAUUUUUUGGGHHH!" screamed Timmy, Wanda, and Castle. Wanda managed to lift her wand and poof Barney out of sight.
Timmy took in gasping breaths. "Don't ever do that again!" he begged.
Wanda seemed to have recovered quickly. "Commander, I think maybe you'd better let the presidents go."
"Well… OKAY," Commander said grudgingly. "But I'll keep my favorite."
"I speak softly but I carry a big stick! And I'm gonna use it to hurt you!" cried Teddy Roosevelt.
"Let TR go too," said Wanda. She smiled. "Hey, TR, do you remember me? Cosmo and I were your fairy godparents!"
"Uh… no," said TR.
"Didn't think so," said Wanda sadly. "Your memory of us is erased, just like everyone's is once they hit eighteen--"
"WHAT?" cried Timmy. "Are you saying that when I'm eighteen, I won't remember you and Cosmo… and Cassie?"
Wanda shook her head sadly. "I'm sorry, sport, but that's just the way things go. But I don't want to think about that right now."
"I'm ready to go now," said TR.
"Party at my place!" cried George Washington.
All the presidents ran out. Commander sighed. "Why do I have to give up all my obsessions?" she asked.
"Let's get on with the story," said Timmy with a sigh. "Thank goodness there'll be only one more chapter after this." He gasped. "Only one more chapter till my baby sibling is born!"
He ran to his door and leaned his head out. "Is my mom in labor yet?" he asked.
"No, just wait," said Commander.
"Let's stay focused," said Wanda.
"Right," said Timmy. "So how did your parents take the news of your engagement?"
"They were happy for me, of course… but Sarah was ecstatic. Tony and Davy were pretty happy, too."
"So then, when did you get married?"
"About four years after that," said Wanda.
Timmy looked surprised. "That's a long engagement!"
"Fairies stay engaged longer… because they live longer, you know. Besides, I wanted to finish my godparenting duties with Cassandra. But when our wedding rehearsal came along… oh boy, was THAT strange…"
"Why?" asked Timmy.
"Well, let me tell you--"
"Wait!" cried Commander. "I want to do the fade out thing! It was a dark and stormy day…"
***
It really was a dark and stormy day. Sarah flew inside the church, looking like a drowned rat.
"He isn't out here! Jeez, Wanda, I never know where that boy will fly off to next!"
"He's probably in here somewhere hiding," said Wanda reassuringly.
"He'd better be. LUDEN! WHERE ARE YOU?" cried Sarah.
"I'm sure he's fine," said Wanda, hiding a smile. It was interesting how quickly Sarah had become a worried mother.
Sarah waved her wand and dried herself off in an instant. "He'd better be around here somewhere. The rehearsal starts any minute now, and since he's a part of your wedding--"
Sarah was interrupted when a small, three and a half-year-old fairy with mahogany brown hair and eyes flew in the sanctuary, giggling madly. Sarah put her hands on her hips and glared at her son, although she did seem relieved to see him.
"Luden! Where were you?" she asked.
"Hi, Mommy!" said Luden happily, avoiding the question.
Then Cosmo flew in. "Hmm, now where could he be…"
Luden's giggle gave him away. Cosmo zoomed up towards him and grabbed him. "Ha ha, gotcha!" he said.
Luden kicked and playfully tried to escape. "Aargh, let me go, Uncle Cosmo!" he said, giggling.
"Never!" laughed Cosmo. But Sarah grabbed Luden away from Cosmo.
"Luden, I had no clue where you were! Next time tell me where you are before you go off and play, okay?"
"But Mommy, Uncle Cosmo was chasing me!" cried Luden.
Cosmo gave Sarah a somewhat ashamed grin. "Sorry, Sarah, but he was bored!"
Sarah smiled. "That's okay, Cosmo, no harm done."
Wanda smiled too. Sarah could tell how much Luden and Cosmo liked to play together. In fact, at that very moment Luden struggled out of his mother's arms and flew over towards Cosmo.
"Uncle Cosmo, I'm hungry!" he cried.
"No time to eat!" said Davy, who had suddenly appeared. "We'll have the rehearsal now, but you can eat how much you want at the rehearsal dinner right after this, okay?"
"Okay, Uncle Davy!" said Luden happily.
"Alright, let's get ready," Sarah began. "Cosmo, go the back of the--"
"Uh, Sarah, it's not like this has to go perfect," reminded Wanda. "It is just the rehearsal, after all."
"I'm hungry too!" said Cosmo suddenly.
"We'll eat after this is done!" cried Sarah, Wanda, and Davy all at once. Cosmo just laughed.
"YOU ALL SAID THE SAME THING AT THE SAME TIME! HA HA HA!"
Luden, who was flying around the room and still looking rather hungry, looked out into the hallway and gasped. "Yay!" he said suddenly, flying out into the hallway.
Sarah started to fly after him, then stopped. With her jaw dropped and eyes popped, she stared out into the hallway.
"What is it?" asked Wanda.
"That's the biggest hunk of cheese I've ever seen," said Sarah. Everyone else in the room stared out into the hallway with her.
A hunk of cheese, almost scrapping the ceiling and touching both walls on either side of it, was blocking the hallway. Luden was taking a huge bite out of it.
"Yay!" said Cosmo happily. "My cheese appeared!"
Wanda stared at Cosmo. "YOU made this?"
"Of course!" said Cosmo. "Did you see me wave my wand and hear the poof? Cheese for everyone!"
"Wait!" cried Sarah, grabbing Cosmo before he could fly towards the cheese. "Let's have this at the wedding reception tomorrow night. A big hunk of cheese!"
"Interesting idea," said Wanda with a smile.
"Aww, but I wanted cheese now!" said Cosmo and Luden simultaneously.
***
"At your wedding reception, you had a huge hunk of cheese?" asked Timmy in disbelief.
"Gaah!" cried Castle, stretching her arms out at the mere mention of cheese.
Wanda laughed. "My family still talks about that… and it's been nine thousand, eight hundred ninety-five years."
"So how did the wedding go?" asked Timmy.
"Under the, uh, cheese circumstances, pretty well. At the rehearsal Cosmo kept forgetting his lines--"
"How do you forget your lines at a wedding if you're the GROOM?" cried Timmy. "Don't you just repeat after the minister?"
"Hey, he was nervous," said Wanda. "But he said everything perfectly at the wedding. Then we had our reception and ate cheese."
"So how many people went to your wedding?"
"Just my close friends and family. And they weren't divided by bride side and groom side, mainly because Cosmo didn't invite anyone."
"Really?" asked Timmy.
"Of course," said Wanda, "isn't it obvious? His only family was his mother, and I was his only friend."
"Right," said Timmy. "So what did you do after the reception?"
"We went to my house--technically OUR house now. We still have it, you know. We spend our Christmas breaks there."
"And…?" prodded Timmy.
"Well, not much, but apparently Commander wants me to tell it, so I guess I will…"
***
Cosmo lay on the couch, moaning pitifully. "I ate way too much cheese," he managed to say. He winced a bit. "And I never thought I'd say that--ever!"
"Well, you know, dear, I told you after the fifteenth serving of cheese you got that you should stop…"
"But Wanda!" moaned Cosmo. "It was sooooo good!"
"Do you want something to settle your stomach?" asked Wanda.
Cosmo looked up at her gratefully. "A glass of water would be nice."
Wanda poofed up a glass of water and sat down next to Cosmo with it. "I can't believe you got sick on our wedding night--from eating cheese. I mean, most people if they get sick drink too much, but… I guess getting sick from cheese is a better option." Cosmo sipped his water thankfully while Wanda ran her fingers through his hair. "Are you going to be okay, puddin?"
Cosmo brightened considerably. "Pudding! That's what I want!"
Wanda laughed. "I guess that's a yes," she said, leaning in close towards him and gazing softly into his eyes.
Cosmo returned the gaze. "I feel better now," he said quietly.
Wanda smiled. "I love you."
"I love you too," said Cosmo, also smiling.
They kissed and held each other tightly. Cosmo's arms slid up Wanda's back, right to where her wings were. He broke away from the kiss and stroked Wanda's wings, down right to the joint to where they connected to her back.
Wanda started giggling insanely. "Oh, ha ha, stop it, Cosmo! That tickles! Ha ha ha!"
"That's weird!" said Cosmo, looking confused while examining her wings. He let go of them, and Wanda gasped for breath.
"What's weird?" she managed to ask.
"Your wings!" said Cosmo. "They look like fairy wings!"
Wanda chuckled. "Cosmo, I AM a fairy!"
"No you're not!" said Cosmo, shaking his head solemnly. "You're an angel, and you should have angel wings!"
Wanda could feel her heart swell with love. She hugged her husband tightly; so tightly, in fact, that she pushed him down on the couch and she was lying on top of him.
"You really think I'm an angel?" she asked him.
"Yeah…" said Cosmo slowly, "is that the right thing to say?"
"You bet it is," said Wanda with a smile, kissing Cosmo again.
"Wow, I actually think I'm getting pretty good at this husband thing!" said Cosmo with a grin.
Wanda shifted a bit. She was still in her wedding dress and it was feeling very uncomfortable on her. She kicked her shoes off, eagerly wanting to get all her clothes off of her. Cosmo gave her a strange smile, not seeming to know what she was doing but liking it anyway.
But then Wanda suddenly stopped. "Cosmo… I'll tell you what I think."
"Oh boy, me too!" said Cosmo. He paused for a moment. "Okay. What do YOU think?"
Wanda grinned. "Well, it's about… do you ever want to have children?"
Cosmo's eyes grew wide. "Ooooh! You mean like Sarah and Tony had Luden? Yeah! I want to have little babies that are all ours!"
"Good, me too," said Wanda. "But I want us to take on our godparenting duties first. I want to wait to have a baby… probably about five hundred years, so we can focus on being fairy godparents for awhile."
Cosmo looked surprised. "I get to be a godparent?"
"Of course," said Wanda. "We're going to go down there tomorrow and get you registered, and I'm sure they'll let you be a godparent. If I am, then you have to be one, too."
***
"What do you mean that even though I'm a godparent, Cosmo might not be able to be one?"
The fairy at the godparenting office in Fairy World shrugged. "He's got to take that test, you know. If he doesn't pass, then I'm sorry, but we can't trust him with a child," she said.
"But we're married!" cried Wanda. "And I don't want to give up my job!"
"I like cheese!" blurted out Cosmo.
"Your husband will just have to take the same tests you did… and a new one we just added. Nothing special, though."
"What is it?" asked Wanda.
"An IQ test. It measures your intelligence quotient. Humans won't come up with the concept for almost ten thousand years. But let's get started. Come with me, Cosmo!"
"Do I get cheese?" asked Cosmo, following the fairy.
Wanda sighed. "I hope Cosmo doesn't fail that IQ test," she murmured.
***
"I'm done!" said Cosmo happily, flying out of the building in which he had been taking the tests. Wanda smiled at him.
"How did it go?" she asked.
Cosmo held Wanda's hands happily. "They gave me cheese!" he exclaimed.
The other fairy flew out too. "I'm going to go talk with her, okay?" said Wanda.
"Okay," said Cosmo. "I'll eat some more cheese." He pulled some cheese out of his pocket and munched on it happily.
The fairy gave Wanda some papers. "Well, he passed all the tests--"
"That's great!" said Wanda.
"--but we do have a problem with the IQ test."
Wanda looked confused. "I thought you said he passed all the tests."
"The IQ test isn't pass or fail. It simply gives you a rating. Let me show you the chart." The fairy pulled out a chart and pointed to it. "If you have an IQ of one hundred, you have average intelligence. When you get higher than that, you get into quick learner, gifted, and genius levels, but I need to talk about lower than one hundred." She pointed down at seventy. "That's the drop-off for mental retardation."
Wanda bit her lip and swallowed nervously. "What did Cosmo get?" she managed to ask.
"I'm actually surprsied," admitted the fairy, "but he got a seventy-five. And I always thought he was mentally retarded. The problem is that we require at least an IQ of eighty to become a fairy."
Wanda sighed. "Look, he'll be with me. I can teach him. And I can fix his mistakes."
"Well…" said the fairy hesitatingly.
"Look, I love my job and don't want to quit, but I love my husband too and don't want to be separated from him. If I have to chose between the two of them… then I guess I'll just have to quit godparenting."
"You're one of the best!" cried the fairy. "Fine… I lie on his official records and say he got an eighty." The fairy scowled a bit. "You should be thankful, I wouldn't do that for just anybody!"
"Thank you so much!" said Wanda.
"No problem," muttered the fairy.
***
"Okay, what's with all the inconsistencies with your story?" asked Timmy tactlessly.
Wanda looked confused. "What do you mean?"
"You and Cosmo were going to wait only five hundred years before having a kid, but… or do you have other kids besides Cassie?"
"No, Castle's our only child," said Wanda.
"Seems to me like you waited more like nine thousand, eight hundred ninety-five years!"
"Well, after we had been married five hundred years or so, we did try to have a child, but it never worked," admitted Wanda. "We went to the doctor, because I assumed one of us must've been sterile."
"What does that mean?"
"Unable to have children," said Wanda. "And I was right, the doctor said that Cosmo was. I wasn't too surprised, though, since Mama Cosma said that she had that shot of vodka when she was pregnant with him. It must've affected his reproductive system. But anyway, I didn't really care too much at that point. I enjoyed our godchildren so much that I didn't think we needed children."
Timmy crossed his arms and stared at Wanda coldly. "Wanda, when you got pregnant with Cassie, you didn't let us know until right before she was born. She doesn't really look like either of you, and now you tell me that Cosmo's sterile? I think maybe Castle's dad isn't Cosmo…"
Wanda groaned. "Oh, don't get on this again. Castle is Cosmo's daughter and I can prove it." Wanda waved her wand and poofed up a hunk of cheese.
Upon seeing the cheese, Castle crawled straight out of Timmy's lap and to the cheese, devouring it ravenously.
Timmy laughed. "Okay, okay, she is most certainly Cosmo's daughter."
"I don't really know how I got pregnant, but I guess Cosmo's sterility must've corrected itself. And since I married him, Cosmo's been the only person that I… well, you know."
"Yeah, don't make this R-rated," muttered Timmy. He looked at Wanda expectantly. "So then what?"
"Well, we had a bunch of other godchildren, like Teddy Roosevelt, Bill Gates, and Crocker--and he was such an intelligent boy, too--but that's about it, I guess."
"You're done with your story?" cried Timmy in shock.
"Yes," said Wanda, looking confused, "why?"
"Because that means--"
And from downstairs, Mrs. Turner suddenly cried out in pain, "Honey, I think it's time!"
"Oh, crud," muttered Timmy.
(AN: One chapter left! In case you're wondering, I named Sarah and Tony's son--and Cosmo and Wanda's nephew--after my favorite brand of cough drops! Because cough drops are the best. Take care, and see you at the last chapter! God, I'm going to miss this story…)