"I'm sorry." Jane looked at Snape from across the room. "You've done
nothing but help me as best you can and all I seem to do is upset you."
Snape rarely saw the need to apologise and he wondered if it showed.
Jane looked at him saying nothing. After a couple of minutes she nodded. "That's ok. It's not like you belong here, it's not like you should understand."
"No one belongs here."
"Some of us have no choice."
She was back on the defensive, he had done it again!
"What if you had a choice?"
Jane laughed, but it was a joyless sound. "What, go back home you mean? I don't think so."
"No, I meant come with me." Gods, what had compelled him to say that? He had not idea. It was impossible. Mind racing, he tried desperately to find a way to take back the words, but he needn't have worried.
If Jane had noticed his discomfort at the suggestion or not, he couldn't be sure, but the girl shook her head. "I doubt that would be a good idea."
Slightly taken aback, Snape was shocked that she hadn't jumped at the opportunity to escape her pitiful existence. "Why do you say that?"
Jane sat down, watching him. "Look at you. Look at your clothes. I know nothing about you but I do know that whatever you do, wherever you live, there probably isn't room for a gutter brat like me."
"A gutter brat?"
"We prefer it to street kid. We live in the gutters and people think we are brats. Less politically correct. More down and dirty just like us."
"I don't think you are a brat."
"You hardly know me."
"I know you well enough to know you aren't a brat. I teach worse brats than you and they have fewer excuses."
"You teach?!" Jane asked, somewhat incredulously.
"Yes, why are you so surprised?"
Jane shrugged. "I guess I never really thought about it. You just don't look like a teacher. Not that I'd really know." She paused, considering, "What do you teach?"
"Potions," Snape answered without thinking. He felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Oh Gods, he thought, what was he doing? If he couldn't think straight, he should take the advice he often gave his students and keep his mouth shut.
"Potions, what sort of subject is that?"
Snape sighed. What did he have to loose? He would never see her again, once he was well, no one would believe her if she tried to tell, he could easily wipe her memories if he got his wand back and he would need her help to get that back anyway. "It is a subject about how to brew different combinations of ingredients, kind of like chemistry. All witches and wizards learn it at school."
He watched as Jane looked at him. She blinked a couple of times, thinking, then burst into laughter. "You know, that's the funniest thing I have heard in ages." She managed through the laughter. "Witches and Wizards indeed!"
Snape was slightly offended by her reaction, but overcame his natural desire to snap at the girl. "So you don't believe in magic?" He asked as calmly as he could.
Jane looked at him seriously now. "What do you think? I live on the streets and steal food to survive. I've been abused and raped. I'll probably end up freezing to death or being attacked and murdered, and you ask me if I believe in magic. Are you kidding? Magic belongs in fairy tales and believe me, last time I checked I wasn't living a fairy tale, I didn't have a fairy godmother and my name wasn't Cinderella." She smiled as she remembered her mother telling her stories as a child, it was the only truly happy memory she had.
Snape found himself almost enjoying Jane's reaction. It wasn't what he expected. "What if I told you I was a wizard?"
"Severus, I think you have been damaged by some of the blows you received." She moved to him suddenly, looking worried. "You don't feel sick again do you?"
"No, I feel alright." Reaching out quickly, he grabbed her hand. Startled, Jane tried to pull away but Snape didn't relax his grip. He watched as terror briefly flashed across her face. "I don't want to hurt you, I want you to believe," he hissed. "I need you to try and find something for me. I think those boys may have it."
Aware that she was no longer trying to pull away, Snape released the Jane's hand. She stayed fixed to the spot, frozen by fear at his sudden, unprovoked attack. "I want you to find my wand."
Cautious now, Jane looked at him, trying to figure out if he was serious. There was no hint of amusement on his face, not even in his eyes. She decided to humour him. "What wand?"
"My wand. It's about thirteen inches long." Snape held his hands apart indicating it's approximate length, "and it is made of dark wood, with a silver handle."
"Why do you think Adam has it?"
"Because I remember having it when I arrived," Snape lied. He didn't remember, but he needed to know if the boys had it before he returned if possible. It would be dangerous to leave it behind and he needed it to wipe Jane's memory of him.
Jane watched Snape carefully. He was acting strangely. She decided to indulge him, he needed to rest and recover, not stress out. He was healing slowly but he wouldn't if he continued to be so agitated. Weakness was vulnerability here and he was weak. That made her weak. "Yes, all right, I will look for it." She pushed him back down and replaced the blanket. "Now, please rest."
"My wand.."
"Yes Severus, yes. I will look for it in the morning. Please, just lie down and get some rest."
Snape closed his eyes, relieved.
Jane looked at him saying nothing. After a couple of minutes she nodded. "That's ok. It's not like you belong here, it's not like you should understand."
"No one belongs here."
"Some of us have no choice."
She was back on the defensive, he had done it again!
"What if you had a choice?"
Jane laughed, but it was a joyless sound. "What, go back home you mean? I don't think so."
"No, I meant come with me." Gods, what had compelled him to say that? He had not idea. It was impossible. Mind racing, he tried desperately to find a way to take back the words, but he needn't have worried.
If Jane had noticed his discomfort at the suggestion or not, he couldn't be sure, but the girl shook her head. "I doubt that would be a good idea."
Slightly taken aback, Snape was shocked that she hadn't jumped at the opportunity to escape her pitiful existence. "Why do you say that?"
Jane sat down, watching him. "Look at you. Look at your clothes. I know nothing about you but I do know that whatever you do, wherever you live, there probably isn't room for a gutter brat like me."
"A gutter brat?"
"We prefer it to street kid. We live in the gutters and people think we are brats. Less politically correct. More down and dirty just like us."
"I don't think you are a brat."
"You hardly know me."
"I know you well enough to know you aren't a brat. I teach worse brats than you and they have fewer excuses."
"You teach?!" Jane asked, somewhat incredulously.
"Yes, why are you so surprised?"
Jane shrugged. "I guess I never really thought about it. You just don't look like a teacher. Not that I'd really know." She paused, considering, "What do you teach?"
"Potions," Snape answered without thinking. He felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Oh Gods, he thought, what was he doing? If he couldn't think straight, he should take the advice he often gave his students and keep his mouth shut.
"Potions, what sort of subject is that?"
Snape sighed. What did he have to loose? He would never see her again, once he was well, no one would believe her if she tried to tell, he could easily wipe her memories if he got his wand back and he would need her help to get that back anyway. "It is a subject about how to brew different combinations of ingredients, kind of like chemistry. All witches and wizards learn it at school."
He watched as Jane looked at him. She blinked a couple of times, thinking, then burst into laughter. "You know, that's the funniest thing I have heard in ages." She managed through the laughter. "Witches and Wizards indeed!"
Snape was slightly offended by her reaction, but overcame his natural desire to snap at the girl. "So you don't believe in magic?" He asked as calmly as he could.
Jane looked at him seriously now. "What do you think? I live on the streets and steal food to survive. I've been abused and raped. I'll probably end up freezing to death or being attacked and murdered, and you ask me if I believe in magic. Are you kidding? Magic belongs in fairy tales and believe me, last time I checked I wasn't living a fairy tale, I didn't have a fairy godmother and my name wasn't Cinderella." She smiled as she remembered her mother telling her stories as a child, it was the only truly happy memory she had.
Snape found himself almost enjoying Jane's reaction. It wasn't what he expected. "What if I told you I was a wizard?"
"Severus, I think you have been damaged by some of the blows you received." She moved to him suddenly, looking worried. "You don't feel sick again do you?"
"No, I feel alright." Reaching out quickly, he grabbed her hand. Startled, Jane tried to pull away but Snape didn't relax his grip. He watched as terror briefly flashed across her face. "I don't want to hurt you, I want you to believe," he hissed. "I need you to try and find something for me. I think those boys may have it."
Aware that she was no longer trying to pull away, Snape released the Jane's hand. She stayed fixed to the spot, frozen by fear at his sudden, unprovoked attack. "I want you to find my wand."
Cautious now, Jane looked at him, trying to figure out if he was serious. There was no hint of amusement on his face, not even in his eyes. She decided to humour him. "What wand?"
"My wand. It's about thirteen inches long." Snape held his hands apart indicating it's approximate length, "and it is made of dark wood, with a silver handle."
"Why do you think Adam has it?"
"Because I remember having it when I arrived," Snape lied. He didn't remember, but he needed to know if the boys had it before he returned if possible. It would be dangerous to leave it behind and he needed it to wipe Jane's memory of him.
Jane watched Snape carefully. He was acting strangely. She decided to indulge him, he needed to rest and recover, not stress out. He was healing slowly but he wouldn't if he continued to be so agitated. Weakness was vulnerability here and he was weak. That made her weak. "Yes, all right, I will look for it." She pushed him back down and replaced the blanket. "Now, please rest."
"My wand.."
"Yes Severus, yes. I will look for it in the morning. Please, just lie down and get some rest."
Snape closed his eyes, relieved.