Caroline in Richard's Mother's Womb
Chapter 13
That Monday morning, Richard arrived at their Cassidy Greeting Cards office early, as he had planned. He did as much work as he could, without the instructions that he had tried to get from Caroline last night. But the real reason for his arriving early was, he wanted to confront Caroline as soon as she walked through the door.
Caroline entered, and was surprised to see Richard at the partners desk. "Hey Richard! You're here early."
"It's exactly nine o'clock, our scheduled start time" replied Richard.
"That's what I mean" smirked Caroline.
"I wanted to catch up some. Work has piled up."
"Well, good" said Caroline, as she settled into her partners desk chair.
"Uh… Caroline, how was your weekend?" asked Richard, a bit awkwardly. He never was the one to initiate small talk.
"Fine, Richard. How was yours?" she asked.
"Interesting… I discovered something new this weekend. But tell me, how did your AA meetings go on Saturday and Sunday?"
Caroline grimaced for a split second, which she always did before she had to lie to a friend. "Oh… they were okay, nothing special. Oh, I take that back, it's always special when people help each other fight off that tremendous craving for a drink, if just for one more day. But, it was nothing unusual."
"So you went to meetings on both nights?" asked Richard.
"Y – Y – Yessss… Why do you ask?"
"I stopped by Remo's last night, Caroline."
"Oh god! Let me explain…"
"You don't have to explain anything to me Caroline. We work together, we're friends, there's no other attachment. I just don't understand why you had to lie to me about it. You made a big deal about "not being ready" to meet anyone. You could have told me the truth."
"You don't understand! Mark and I didn't go out! I mean, it wasn't a date!"
"Oh… 'Mark', huh? Well, Caroline, I watched you for awhile. You laughed together, you shared secrets, he comforted you. It seems like Mark is pretty special to you."
"He is… It's just not what you think… Mark is my sponsor" answered Caroline.
"Your sponsor?" asked Richard.
"Yes… another recovering alcoholic that's been through the program before. Somebody that understands what you're going through. Someone that you can talk to about anything and everything, 'cause when you're an alcoholic, anything in your life can affect whether you drink or not. Someone who will be there, anytime, day or night, to talk with you, if you get that urge to drink. Everybody in AA has a sponsor."
"Caroline, I understand. But why did you lie? Why did you feel you had to hide this from me?"
"I didn't know if you would understand. We… we… had feelings for each other once. I didn't know how you would feel about me sharing all my feelings and secrets with another man. I mean, some men get jealous because their partner has a woman best friend that she shares all her secrets with. There are things I talk with Annie about, because she's a woman, and things I talk with Mark about, because he's an alcoholic."
Richard looked directly into Caroline's eyes. "Caroline, there's never any reason you need to lie to me. I'm always here to help you."
"Thank you, Richard. I'm sorry."
******
It was two weeks later, Caroline had just entered their office. She looked very sharp, wearing a business dress suit and high heels. "I can't wait to get off my feet and out of these shoes" said Caroline.
Richard, who had been pensive all day, quickly hid some papers he had been looking at inside the partners desk. Hoping she hadn't noticed, Richard eyed her figure and dress appreciatively, then commented "Things went well this afternoon?" Caroline nodded. "You've been doing very well at these business lunches by yourself. I'm proud of you."
Caroline's face glowed because of the compliment "Well, thank you Richard". Caroline plopped down on the office couch, kicked off her shoes, and wiggled her toes. "Ahh… that feels good!"
Richard went back to coloring the strip that he had been working on. But Caroline had noticed that Richard was trying to hide something, and came up to him and teased "Richard, I saw you trying to hide something. What was it?"
"Nothing important, Caroline. Can we get back to work?"
"C'mon Richard, you know you're gonna tell me eventually anyway, you always do" Caroline pouted. "Please?" she pleaded as her had reached for the desk drawer.
"Caroline! No!" Richard nearly shouted, angrily.
"Fine! Just because we spend every day sitting across a desk from each other, it doesn't mean we have to share what's important in our lives!" Caroline stewed.
"Caroline, it's just that..." Richard could continue, his voiced choked with emotion.
Caroline went over behind Richard, and put her arm around him "What is it Richard, what's wrong?"
He sighed and pulled out the papers from the desk. "It's from Italy, from Julia's lawyer. It's our divorce papers. I've been thinking about them all day" Richard replied despondently.
"Oh Richard, I'm sorry. But sometimes these things just happen."
"No Caroline, no. this isn't a lightning storm or an earthquake. A divorce happens because two people failed to make a marriage work. I'm a failure."
"Richard, you don't have to talk about it, but I'm sure whatever happened was Julia's fault" Caroline said, trying to console him.
"No Caroline. It wasn't Julia's fault, it was my fault. I never told you why or when Julia left, did I?" Caroline shook her head. "It was the evening that Charlie found you, and brought you to my apartment. Although you wouldn't remember, because you had passed out. Julia left because she was jealous of you, and rightfully so. She wanted me to have nothing to do with you, to let others take care of you, if you needed help. She gave me a choice: you or her. But I couldn't just leave you for someone else to take care of. I couldn't because I was… I do… care about you. I have to know that you're alright."
"Oh Richard..." Caroline whispered, as she gazed deeply into his beautiful brown eyes.
"Caroline…"
"Richard, we've been 'just friends' long enough" Caroline murmured, as she started to kiss Richard tenderly…