Guilty

By Strawberry Gashes

I was perfect. In every way. Every aspect of my life was perfect. Perfect student, perfect friend, perfect boyfriend. Then there was her.

She always made me feel as if it wasn't all, as I had imagined it. She made me feel like she was the only thing missing to make it perfect. She made me feel like never before. She made me feel.

And she felt. Oh, yes, she felt … Anger, annoyance, perhaps hatred. All for me. She was as pretty and pure as a flower. A rose. She let me see her beauty, but as soon as I got close she would show her thorns.

And as I said, I felt. Love. Love for her.

Have you ever been in love?

I know that sounds terribly cliched. But not that kind of love where you get butterflies in your stomach. I was not the kind of person to love like that.

What I'm talking about is a feeling that's just there! Spring through winter, day and night, hour by hour. That feeling that became a part of you so much that you can't live without it. If you try to get rid of it, you lose a vital part of your heart. A love that keeps you immobile in it's arms. Cause if you move, you fall.

That's how I can describe what I feel for Lily Evans. And besides that love, I live with a deafening pain in my heart. The pain of knowing she feels exactly the opposite.

I once tried to tell her. I will never forget the look in her eyes. I know she hates me. More than any other person, she hates me. And more than any other person, I love her.

She's disciplined, well mannered, no matter what, loses her temper only when it comes to me.

She is everything I'm not.

Opposites attract. Or so I've been told.

And still … day after day, night after night, I live with my love and sorrow. With my joys and pains. And the only medicine I find for my wounds is bleeding upon touching the thorns of my rose. My Lily … My rose … my love.

Author Notes:

Yes! I am in fact alive! Just having writer's block!

Monologue that occurred to me while chatting to a lot of people.

I've been a bit busy, but the next chapter of BTS is coming along nicely.

Review and motivate me to go on!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. JK owns all.