Chapter Three: Not Like Before (restored: August 14th, 2004)

I walk down the stairs and try to remember where the dining room is. I know it's off the kitchen. So I just have to find the kitchen now.

Dana should really hand out maps, that way no one'll get lost in this place and be found nine years later, dead and nothing but a skeleton. Actually might not be a bad way to go. How many losers get lost in a huge house and starve to death?

When I finally do find the dining room Dana is sitting down and letting the mounds of food get cold.

"I was getting worried about you," she says.

"I got lost," I admit, shuffling over to the table and sitting down. I look at the food, piping hot and steaming. "This all looks very good."

Dana smiles. "You got lost again?"

I nod. "It's a huge house. I took a left at the formal living room the other night. Tonight I took a right at the stairs and then a left, not a left and then another left," I explain. "You have to make too many lefts in the place," I add with a chuckle.

We begin to load our plates with food, myself more than her. I still haven't gotten used to the fact that I don't have to share my breakfasts, lunches, and dinners with twenty other kids. I haven't been able to entirely break the habit of shoving as much food on my plate as possible with the speed of a rabbit running away from a loud noise.

The first night here, Dana stared at me while I ate like a horse. I guess, with all the money she has she's never seen anyone act like a wild animal. You have to do that at the homes, with all the other runts there you have to act fast. Orphanages aren't as bad as they were years ago, but the main instincts still remain; passed on through the mattresses along with the old sent of sweat that won't go away no matter how many times you clean them.

"How was your first day?" Dana asks. "It must've been hard, seeing as how you transferred in the middle of the year."

"It wasn't that bad, actually," I say after swallowing a swig of water. "I met a lot of nice people. One boy, Marco, volunteered to help me with math." I sound much like a giddy child.

Dana chuckles. "That's good to hear. I bet you were beating the girls off with a stick, eh?"

"Day seven, not bad. I might as well tell her now, see what kind of reaction I get."

"I have to tell you something. The orphanage rarely tells you these things even if they're suppose to."

"Tell me what?" Dana asks, concerned.

"It's nothing bad, but you're going to have to know sooner or later. I'm homosexual."

"Now to wait for the screaming to start."

Surprisingly Dana smiles. She looks completely comfortable. Maybe she didn't hear me. "I'm sorry. Did you see any interesting boys?"

Nope, she heard me.

I blink.

"What the Hell?"

"I…uh…yeah. Marco Del Rossi, the guy I mentioned earlier. He's really attractive."

"You seem surprised," Dana points out the obvious. "My eldest daughter is lesbian. I'm used to these kind of things."

"Is everyone here like you are?"

"If only…." Dana sighs, starting to eat again.

For some reason I've made friends here quickly. Maybe it's a gay thing, I don't know. I'm going to lose most, if not all, of them once they start to question me and I tell them more about myself.

The lunch table's packed due to the half day, all of us waiting for the school day to end and our long weekend to begin.

I've been here five or so weeks now and it's not as bad as I thought it would be. I still haven't gotten completely used to it here, but I'm getting there. Marco and I are pretty close now, but I keep getting odd and confusing vibes from him which I'm not about to try and strip down.

"So," Hazel looks at me. "How is it that a cutie like you doesn't have a girlfriend yet?" she asks me eagerly.

I'm pretty sure that every head at the table turns to stare at me, making me look down at my chili.

"How should I tell them?"

"Maybe because I'm not into girls."

It seems to get ten times easier ever time I come out, though I need a better way of doing it. I have to stop being so passively aggressive and blunt. I wonder if it's even possible to be passively aggressive? Most likely not, but those are my thoughts for you.

The table becomes dead silent and I raise my eyes. Confusion and shock hang in a mist over us, it's almost palpable.

When no one says anything for thirty seconds, I grip my tray and stand up, the chair screeching behind me.

"Right. I'll be going now."

I walk over to the trash can and empty my tray, place the slab of plastic into the holder, and walk out of the cafeteria. Deciding to hang around by my locker I walk down the baron hallways and sit on the floor, letting my head rest against the door of my locker.

That could've played out a little better. I never got complete and utter silence before…. First time for everything, I guess. Maybe if I close my eyes I can go into a fantasy world or something, chase a purple elephant in the land of fancy.

"Cyril?" Ellie tries to get my attention, she must have followed me.

"Oh well. I've been in that imagined world before."

I open my eyes and see Ellie standing over me. "Ellie," I reply nonchalantly.

"You left us in a shock back there." She sits down next to me.

"People need to know sooner or later. Did I scare anyone off?" I ask eagerly, tying to lighten the mood a little.

Ellie shrugs. "All but two of us maybe."

"'Two of us?'"

She nods. "Marco and I. Something like that would never scare us off." Her eyes grow wide, as if she said something that she shouldn't have.

"How do you mean?"

"N—nothing. Class starts soon. We should get going." Ellie rises to her feet and walks off. There's still a good fifteen minutes before classes start.