Chapter Six: Overrated (restored: April 22, 2005)

swizzbeatz: I get that a lot, thanks. I have no experience with something like this. Maybe in past lives I've gone through these things, that or I just have a talent for writing things like this. I'll go for the past lives scenario. No, this isn't a true story, though I'm sure something like this has had to have happened in real life somewhere.

everyone else: Thank you so very much for reviewing! It means a lot to me.

Sometimes I wish that I was short.

Maybe if I was short I'd be able to swing my legs a lot better when I'm sitting on the examination table. Being tall has its advantages, though: when I swing my legs, my shoes graze the carpeting, making it easy to get a shock when touching the door knobs. Then again, it gets old very fast.

Doctor Stephens finally walks into the room, reading my chart, and shutting the heavy door behind her.

Why is it that guys get female doctors? But I'm sure the straight boys don't complain.

She looks up from the chart and smiles at me. "Hello, Cyril."

"Hey."

Walking up to me, Doctor Stephens sits in a swivel stool in front of me. "How've you been feeling since the last time I saw you?"

"Pretty good."

"Did you have any more spells?" she asks.

"A few days ago, yeah." I know what she'll ask next so I keep right on going. "It was about a five. My knees buckled and I got a bad head rush. I didn't collapse like the last time, though."

Writing things down on my chart, Doctor Stephens begins to ask me more questions. "What about your fatigue? Is that getting better or worse?"

"It's about the same, but it gets worse every now and then. I haven't fallen asleep in class again, so I think that's a good sign."

Doctor Stephens chuckles softly. "Maybe it is. I trust you've been staying healthy?"

"I'm trying my best. I'm like a paranoid freak about a lot of things now."

"That's good. We don't want you getting sick."

We continue on with the question and answer segment of the check up, then we get on to the exam, followed up by the blood test.

"You know the drill."

I roll up my sleeve and lift up my right arm. "I hate this part."

"I know you do, but it'll be over soon."

Doctor Stephens sticks the needle carefully in my arm, like so many times before, and extracts my blood. She takes the needle out, replacing a square piece of gauze where the needle entered my arm. I bend my arm so my forearm almost kisses my upper.

"Hopefully your T-cells haven't dropped again."

"I don't think they can," I joke.

"We'll get working on the blood work right away. Wish for the best."

I wait for what seems like hours, far past the point of memorizing every poster and detail of the office. I'm just about to fall asleep when the door opens.

"Finally!" I exclaim. "I was nearly dead of boredom. You should really learn to quicken up."

Doctor Stephens doesn't seem to hear me, she keeps staring at the clipboard in her hands like it's going out of style. "I've got some bad news and some good news."

"What?" This happens every time. I guess, I always hope that I'll somehow get better.

"The good news is, you haven't gotten progressively worse yet."

"And the bad news?"

Doctor Stephens hesitates. "Your T-cells have dropped dramatically and it seems like the virus isn't reacting to the medication anymore."

"How's that possible? I'm taking drugs up the bloody wazoo!"

"Dana tells us that you haven't been sticking to your regimen."

"I'm busy. I don't have the time to take the pills over the stretch of the day."

"But you know that if you don't stick to regimen the virus can become immune to the medication."

I sigh deeply. "How long before I get…." I can't help but trail off.

"If you stay healthy, which you are, you still have a few more years. But that's if we can get you back into the system. You need to stay strict with your meds, Cyril."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"There's an easier way of taking your medication. Why don't we fix you up with that way? You'll be able to take everything once a day."

I'm gratefully, but furious at the same time. "That's not going to buy me time, is it? Why can't I go my whole life with just this, like a lot of other people? I'm seventeen, this isn't fair."

"I know it's not fair, but you caught this in time. Hopefully you won't get AIDS. Hopefully you'll just live your life with HIV, it's still possible. You just have to take care of yourself, like you've always been doing. Just take your pills, young man."