Chapter 39 - Rebellion
Thank you to those who are still out there reading, and particularly to Snapefan51 who read and reviewed both the PG-13 version and the R version. Much appreciated. Thanks also to those who commented that posting separate versions was a good idea. I appreciate your feedback.
Just some comments about this chapter: It is a fairly large leap. I was a little stuck on how to progress from the last chapter. I could have things continue as normal for a few chapters, but really that just seemed to be a waste of words. Although now I think about it I may have been able to add a few fluff chapters before this. Oh, well. The other thing I want you to realise is that Jane is used to being master of her destiny. She has been her on her own for most of her life, and any sort of significant restrictions are likely to become tiresome for her. This would explain her reactions and behaviour. I tried to get that across in this chapter and hope I succeeded.
Sorry in advance for editorialising in this chapter :) Now that I read this, I am not so happy with it, but I don't wish to hold the whole story up until Christmas waiting for a re-write, and I simply won't have a chance until then.
Oh, my this is so not good enough. The orders are that you must forgive me. I am terribly sorry.
Take care everyone, and please enjoy if it is possible. As always read and review if you so wish. Flames will be accepted as appropriate for this chapter. Perhaps I should burn it now?!
*************************************************
After the episode in the forest, security around the school was increased, but with magic still barely affecting Jane, alternative methods of protection had to be devised for her. That resulted in her being restricted to the school buildings - a situation that didn't please her in the slightest, and one that came to impact almost everyone involved with her presence at Hogwarts.
In an attempt to fight against the tough new restrictions, her behaviour became more erratic as her imprisonment forced her to act out in an attempt to make her unhappiness known. At first she started with simple rudeness. No one would escape her attacks, not even Hermione, and in the end, the Gryffindor witch spent more effort trying to avoid Jane than teaching her.
Snape tried to talk to Jane about her behaviour, but she ignored him before responding with a stream of words that almost made him blush. The problem was that he understood her anger. He had felt the same way for a good deal of his life - trapped with no chance of escape.
In the end, he gave up, and instead of convincing Jane to modify her behaviour, he decided to change tacks and explain the situation to Hermione. The girl said she understood, but Snape could tell that she didn't really comprehend Jane's rebellion or the reason for it because he had withheld much of the information about her father's abuse. He hoped the girl would find it in her heart to forgive Jane when she finally learned the truth. If they all survived the final battle, she would need all the friends she could get if she was to work her way through the trauma of her life to that point.
As for himself, Snape was weary of the fight. The constant stream of difficulties was wearing him down. If it wasn't some problem with Jane, a moment of emotional torment or some episode of obnoxious behaviour he had to deal with, it was some problem with the Order. He wondered just how much strength people thought he had. HE wondered how much strength he had.
As often as not, he would fall into bed at the end of each day exhausted and unconvinced that anything he did would make a difference. The futility of his life began to wear him down. At least he hadn't been called since his birthday - he doubted he would survive his next audience with the Dark Lord, particularly after thwarting Lucius' efforts to deliver Jane. Even if Voldemort didn't kill him immediately, Snape knew he didn't have the energy to fight against the usual onslaught of torture he faced at the hands of the Death Eaters, and it would only be a matter of time until their antics brought about his demise.
As hard as everything was though, he almost managed to maintain an even temper with the troubled girl. He understood her behaviour and realised that the trauma he would cause by loosing control would far outweigh the punishment she deserved for her temporary misconduct. He trusted her to know the limits of what was acceptable, and to adjust to the restrictive, but temporary situation. Unfortunately for both Jane and Snape, that wasn't necessarily the case, and his error in judgment was almost catastrophic.
**********
Jane looked around, bored. Just what did he expect her to do. It was a beautiful Saturday evening. Harry, Ron and Hermione were outside enjoying the pleasant weather as the last of the sun's rays disappeared and he was with the Headmaster dealing with matters pertaining to the 'Final Battle'. It seemed like that was all he ever did now, and it was all she ever heard.
Jane would be glad when it was over, and didn't really give a rat's arse about the outcome at that particular point in time. She was alone and bored, having been restricted to his quarters all day. That was her life now unless escorted by one of the staff or senior students, and her most recent behaviour had made that unlikely to happen any time soon. Prowling around his chambers, like the caged animal she had become, she looked for something to amuse herself.
She considered writing practice, but she discounted the idea. What was the point? Prisoners hardly needed to be able to write, and it wasn't likely that Hermione would be in any hurry to help her anyway, not after some of the things she had said. Jane felt kind of bad for that, but what did it matter? It wasn't like she ever really cared.
Jane threw herself onto her bed. Magic sucked, she decided. It could do everything except protect her. She remembered something that Lucius had said, that Snape was really powerful, but lazy - well he hadn't actually said lazy, but that was what he inferred. Smiling suddenly, a new concept creeping into her brain, she sat up.
She would test him! She nodded to herself and smiled. Excellent! This would be fun! It would test his magic and patience, and if he resorted to physical punishment for what she was about to do, she would at least be glad for the change in routine. Right now she was so bored even a good beating would be better than nothing, and it wasn't like he would be the first to hit her. At least she would be able to vent her anger at him if he did and she could always use her knife if he got carried away. After the episode in the forest she never let it out of her sight anymore. If she was ever in that situation again, she was going to use every tool at her disposal to protect herself.
Standing quickly, she moved into the living area of his chambers and searched for what she wanted. Spying the crystal cauldron, she smirked with anticipation, but then decided to try a few other things first.
Picking up a plate from the table, she looked at it. It would be a start. Holding it above her head, she let it go. It dropped to the floor and smashed. Hmm, yes, that was satisfying. She picked up another plate and repeated the process. By the time she had worked her way through the entire set, she was laughing hysterically. She couldn't wait until he came back - the look on his face would be priceless.
Jane worked her way around the room, smashing every breakable object on the floor. She was disappointed when she had nothing left except the crystal cauldron. She wanted to save that for when he returned. Just watching his face when he realised what she was about to do would be pleasing.
She picked it up and looked at it carefully. It really was beautiful. Somewhere deep inside, a feeling of guilt overwhelmed her at what she had done and she decided she had been foolish. He would be irate. When she had formulated her plan she hadn't particularly cared about his reaction, but now she wasn't so sure. As her guilt continued to build, Jane realised he had done nothing but try and protect her, and she had been a bitch and destroyed all his stuff.
For the first time in a few days, Jane considered Severus carefully. He seemed so tired all the time now, yet he never complained, and he never lost his temper with her either. He really was trying to protect her as best he could, and now she had added to his burden - he would have to repair all his stuff. Suddenly she felt terrible, and wanted to undo the damage she had done, but it was too late.
She decided the cauldron could survive, and was about to replace it on the table, when she heard the click of the door opening. She froze, and in that moment, the prized item slipped from her hands and shattered on the floor. Shocked, she looked up, and found herself facing the Potions Master. He didn't look angry - he looked shattered at the devastation, as shattered as his most prized possession now was.
**********
Snape opened the door in time to watch his prized crystal cauldron fall to the floor for the second time. Quickly surveying the room, his face fell at the destruction Jane had wrought - the destruction was clearly deliberate. Stepping into the room, he closed the door, and looked at her sadly. He understood her rebellion, but that didn't stop anger from rising in him unchecked. He had tolerated her misbehaviour to this point, but this time she had gone too far. Every one of his possessions was in pieces on the floor. He realised she had only meant to test him - after all, he could easily repair everything, but her inconsiderate actions upset him - particularly when he really didn't have the energy to waste fixing everything.
Taking deep breaths to calm himself he tried to fight the desire to hit the child - something neither of them would recover from. Looking at Jane, he saw that the look of delight she had worn when he had first arrived was now gone, replaced with a look of fear and remorse. "Why?" Was all he could manage to say, the pain at her betrayal overwhelming him.
Jane felt terrible. This wasn't what she had expected. She had expected anger, not sadness, and now she felt even guiltier, but there was still a small part of her that still wanted to revolt against the strict controls he had placed on her. "Because I was bored."
"Bored?"
"Yes." She answered defiantly even though her voice wavered slightly.
"And you think that is a good enough excuse for what you have done? What do you expect me to do now? Or didn't you think of the consequences of your actions?
Jane looked at him feeling guilty but still a little rebellious. "Who cares what you do? I am already your prisoner." She accused.
Hurt by Jane's accusation, and weary from his ongoing battles with the Headmaster over the preparations for the final battle, Jane's statement was the final straw. Sitting tiredly in his chair he looked at the girl, seeing her remorse, but also her frustration. He gave up. "Fine," he answered wearily. "If that is the way you feel, go. I don't care, and after your recent behaviour I doubt anyone else will either. I'm sorry Jane, but I don't have the energy to continue fighting with you, so you can do as you wish." He surveyed the room and shook is head. What had she been thinking?
Jane looked at him, shocked; he had been the only one who had ever cared.
"Fine!" She snapped trying to use the last of her antagonism to beat the tears of remorse that threatened to flow, "I will go tomorrow morning. I would rather die than stay here as a prisoner any longer anyway. I always knew you didn't care." Jane knew that the last words she said had been a lie but it no longer mattered because she had destroyed his faith in her and he would never care for her again. Turning quickly, she burst into tears, thinking of her loss, and fled to her room, slamming the door behind her.
Snape slumped in the chair and surveyed the destruction. He had to admit she had done an impressive job. Obviously he had miscalculated her ability to cope with the new, tighter restrictions. He sighed. He was exhausted - the continual battles on every front were going to kill him one of these days. Drawing his wand, he waved it around, repairing his belongings wordlessly, punishing himself for his foolishness by doing it the hard way. It exhausted him more than it should have, and by the time he had finished he barely had the energy to drag himself to bed.
Thank you to those who are still out there reading, and particularly to Snapefan51 who read and reviewed both the PG-13 version and the R version. Much appreciated. Thanks also to those who commented that posting separate versions was a good idea. I appreciate your feedback.
Just some comments about this chapter: It is a fairly large leap. I was a little stuck on how to progress from the last chapter. I could have things continue as normal for a few chapters, but really that just seemed to be a waste of words. Although now I think about it I may have been able to add a few fluff chapters before this. Oh, well. The other thing I want you to realise is that Jane is used to being master of her destiny. She has been her on her own for most of her life, and any sort of significant restrictions are likely to become tiresome for her. This would explain her reactions and behaviour. I tried to get that across in this chapter and hope I succeeded.
Sorry in advance for editorialising in this chapter :) Now that I read this, I am not so happy with it, but I don't wish to hold the whole story up until Christmas waiting for a re-write, and I simply won't have a chance until then.
Oh, my this is so not good enough. The orders are that you must forgive me. I am terribly sorry.
Take care everyone, and please enjoy if it is possible. As always read and review if you so wish. Flames will be accepted as appropriate for this chapter. Perhaps I should burn it now?!
*************************************************
After the episode in the forest, security around the school was increased, but with magic still barely affecting Jane, alternative methods of protection had to be devised for her. That resulted in her being restricted to the school buildings - a situation that didn't please her in the slightest, and one that came to impact almost everyone involved with her presence at Hogwarts.
In an attempt to fight against the tough new restrictions, her behaviour became more erratic as her imprisonment forced her to act out in an attempt to make her unhappiness known. At first she started with simple rudeness. No one would escape her attacks, not even Hermione, and in the end, the Gryffindor witch spent more effort trying to avoid Jane than teaching her.
Snape tried to talk to Jane about her behaviour, but she ignored him before responding with a stream of words that almost made him blush. The problem was that he understood her anger. He had felt the same way for a good deal of his life - trapped with no chance of escape.
In the end, he gave up, and instead of convincing Jane to modify her behaviour, he decided to change tacks and explain the situation to Hermione. The girl said she understood, but Snape could tell that she didn't really comprehend Jane's rebellion or the reason for it because he had withheld much of the information about her father's abuse. He hoped the girl would find it in her heart to forgive Jane when she finally learned the truth. If they all survived the final battle, she would need all the friends she could get if she was to work her way through the trauma of her life to that point.
As for himself, Snape was weary of the fight. The constant stream of difficulties was wearing him down. If it wasn't some problem with Jane, a moment of emotional torment or some episode of obnoxious behaviour he had to deal with, it was some problem with the Order. He wondered just how much strength people thought he had. HE wondered how much strength he had.
As often as not, he would fall into bed at the end of each day exhausted and unconvinced that anything he did would make a difference. The futility of his life began to wear him down. At least he hadn't been called since his birthday - he doubted he would survive his next audience with the Dark Lord, particularly after thwarting Lucius' efforts to deliver Jane. Even if Voldemort didn't kill him immediately, Snape knew he didn't have the energy to fight against the usual onslaught of torture he faced at the hands of the Death Eaters, and it would only be a matter of time until their antics brought about his demise.
As hard as everything was though, he almost managed to maintain an even temper with the troubled girl. He understood her behaviour and realised that the trauma he would cause by loosing control would far outweigh the punishment she deserved for her temporary misconduct. He trusted her to know the limits of what was acceptable, and to adjust to the restrictive, but temporary situation. Unfortunately for both Jane and Snape, that wasn't necessarily the case, and his error in judgment was almost catastrophic.
**********
Jane looked around, bored. Just what did he expect her to do. It was a beautiful Saturday evening. Harry, Ron and Hermione were outside enjoying the pleasant weather as the last of the sun's rays disappeared and he was with the Headmaster dealing with matters pertaining to the 'Final Battle'. It seemed like that was all he ever did now, and it was all she ever heard.
Jane would be glad when it was over, and didn't really give a rat's arse about the outcome at that particular point in time. She was alone and bored, having been restricted to his quarters all day. That was her life now unless escorted by one of the staff or senior students, and her most recent behaviour had made that unlikely to happen any time soon. Prowling around his chambers, like the caged animal she had become, she looked for something to amuse herself.
She considered writing practice, but she discounted the idea. What was the point? Prisoners hardly needed to be able to write, and it wasn't likely that Hermione would be in any hurry to help her anyway, not after some of the things she had said. Jane felt kind of bad for that, but what did it matter? It wasn't like she ever really cared.
Jane threw herself onto her bed. Magic sucked, she decided. It could do everything except protect her. She remembered something that Lucius had said, that Snape was really powerful, but lazy - well he hadn't actually said lazy, but that was what he inferred. Smiling suddenly, a new concept creeping into her brain, she sat up.
She would test him! She nodded to herself and smiled. Excellent! This would be fun! It would test his magic and patience, and if he resorted to physical punishment for what she was about to do, she would at least be glad for the change in routine. Right now she was so bored even a good beating would be better than nothing, and it wasn't like he would be the first to hit her. At least she would be able to vent her anger at him if he did and she could always use her knife if he got carried away. After the episode in the forest she never let it out of her sight anymore. If she was ever in that situation again, she was going to use every tool at her disposal to protect herself.
Standing quickly, she moved into the living area of his chambers and searched for what she wanted. Spying the crystal cauldron, she smirked with anticipation, but then decided to try a few other things first.
Picking up a plate from the table, she looked at it. It would be a start. Holding it above her head, she let it go. It dropped to the floor and smashed. Hmm, yes, that was satisfying. She picked up another plate and repeated the process. By the time she had worked her way through the entire set, she was laughing hysterically. She couldn't wait until he came back - the look on his face would be priceless.
Jane worked her way around the room, smashing every breakable object on the floor. She was disappointed when she had nothing left except the crystal cauldron. She wanted to save that for when he returned. Just watching his face when he realised what she was about to do would be pleasing.
She picked it up and looked at it carefully. It really was beautiful. Somewhere deep inside, a feeling of guilt overwhelmed her at what she had done and she decided she had been foolish. He would be irate. When she had formulated her plan she hadn't particularly cared about his reaction, but now she wasn't so sure. As her guilt continued to build, Jane realised he had done nothing but try and protect her, and she had been a bitch and destroyed all his stuff.
For the first time in a few days, Jane considered Severus carefully. He seemed so tired all the time now, yet he never complained, and he never lost his temper with her either. He really was trying to protect her as best he could, and now she had added to his burden - he would have to repair all his stuff. Suddenly she felt terrible, and wanted to undo the damage she had done, but it was too late.
She decided the cauldron could survive, and was about to replace it on the table, when she heard the click of the door opening. She froze, and in that moment, the prized item slipped from her hands and shattered on the floor. Shocked, she looked up, and found herself facing the Potions Master. He didn't look angry - he looked shattered at the devastation, as shattered as his most prized possession now was.
**********
Snape opened the door in time to watch his prized crystal cauldron fall to the floor for the second time. Quickly surveying the room, his face fell at the destruction Jane had wrought - the destruction was clearly deliberate. Stepping into the room, he closed the door, and looked at her sadly. He understood her rebellion, but that didn't stop anger from rising in him unchecked. He had tolerated her misbehaviour to this point, but this time she had gone too far. Every one of his possessions was in pieces on the floor. He realised she had only meant to test him - after all, he could easily repair everything, but her inconsiderate actions upset him - particularly when he really didn't have the energy to waste fixing everything.
Taking deep breaths to calm himself he tried to fight the desire to hit the child - something neither of them would recover from. Looking at Jane, he saw that the look of delight she had worn when he had first arrived was now gone, replaced with a look of fear and remorse. "Why?" Was all he could manage to say, the pain at her betrayal overwhelming him.
Jane felt terrible. This wasn't what she had expected. She had expected anger, not sadness, and now she felt even guiltier, but there was still a small part of her that still wanted to revolt against the strict controls he had placed on her. "Because I was bored."
"Bored?"
"Yes." She answered defiantly even though her voice wavered slightly.
"And you think that is a good enough excuse for what you have done? What do you expect me to do now? Or didn't you think of the consequences of your actions?
Jane looked at him feeling guilty but still a little rebellious. "Who cares what you do? I am already your prisoner." She accused.
Hurt by Jane's accusation, and weary from his ongoing battles with the Headmaster over the preparations for the final battle, Jane's statement was the final straw. Sitting tiredly in his chair he looked at the girl, seeing her remorse, but also her frustration. He gave up. "Fine," he answered wearily. "If that is the way you feel, go. I don't care, and after your recent behaviour I doubt anyone else will either. I'm sorry Jane, but I don't have the energy to continue fighting with you, so you can do as you wish." He surveyed the room and shook is head. What had she been thinking?
Jane looked at him, shocked; he had been the only one who had ever cared.
"Fine!" She snapped trying to use the last of her antagonism to beat the tears of remorse that threatened to flow, "I will go tomorrow morning. I would rather die than stay here as a prisoner any longer anyway. I always knew you didn't care." Jane knew that the last words she said had been a lie but it no longer mattered because she had destroyed his faith in her and he would never care for her again. Turning quickly, she burst into tears, thinking of her loss, and fled to her room, slamming the door behind her.
Snape slumped in the chair and surveyed the destruction. He had to admit she had done an impressive job. Obviously he had miscalculated her ability to cope with the new, tighter restrictions. He sighed. He was exhausted - the continual battles on every front were going to kill him one of these days. Drawing his wand, he waved it around, repairing his belongings wordlessly, punishing himself for his foolishness by doing it the hard way. It exhausted him more than it should have, and by the time he had finished he barely had the energy to drag himself to bed.