Disclaimers: I don't own any of the characters, places, or things…well, maybe the things and my own characters.
Author's Notes: Well, since most of you requested a chapter four…ta-da! Here I am! Back again with chapter four of Once and always!!! Are you happy now? Yay! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter and the rest to come!!! Haha! So, without further a due, here's chapter four of Once and Always!!! Read, review and enjoy everyone!
Warnings: Her point of view. From now on, it'll be his after hers and hers after his. Hope it doesn't confuse you.
Chapter 4:
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Fantasy or Reality
I stood in the middle of my room. I could feel my heart beating. I could feel myself hyperventilating, but I didn't care. I just stood there like an idiot for some time.
I wonder if he found my letter. I wonder if I had said everything that needed to be said. I wonder what he thought of when he read past all the lines. I wonder if he hated me for it.
I choked at my thoughts, forgetting the whole time to breath. I wanted to take back that letter. I never should have left it in his room. I never should have given it to him. Bitter regret washed over me. I shouldn't have done it.
I shook my head once to clear my thoughts. He doesn't remember me. He won't remember me. Ever. Even if he did read my stupid letter. It wouldn't change what he feels for me. Even if I did pour my heart out at him, he wouldn't care.
I gave the thought a rest. After all, there was a whole new day ahead of me. I could use all my chores to cover what I feel and hope it stays covered. Forever.
I left the sanctuary of my room and went back down to do some laundry. I can forget about that letter and about kai along the way.
I went down around four flights of stairs and continued down several different corridors. I deliberately took the long way around to sooth my thoughts. Can't work with a messed up head. As Voltaire would say anyway.
I was walking down the last passage when I suddenly heard a familiar voice calling me from behind.
I panicked for a second, thinking it might be Kai. Maybe he searched me out to talk to me about my stupid letter. And to think I hoped to forget about it…
So anyway, I turned and pasted on my famous mysterious smile. It got me out of most things anyway, so I stick to it in these kinds of cases.
Was it Kai stalking behind me? No, thank goodness. But it was nearly as bad. It was Lord Hiwatari himself. He was standing almost a mile away from me I think, with his hands behind his heavy black cloak.
"Come here." He grunted at me. I hated the way he always bossed me around. Sometimes he didn't even treat me like a human being. I hated him for it. Of course, I had enough sense not to say that to his face. I was, after all, living in HIS house.
I complied and went inside his bedroom. Yes, his bedroom. I've had a lot of unpleasant memories in this room. Some of which are too…inhuman to enumerate.
He shut the door behind him like he always did when he called me in for one of these so called 'talks'. He sat down on his big armchair opposite the door where I stood and began to talk.
"Have you met Kai?" He stated casually. Great, I am trying to AVOID Kai and he casually brings up the topic! But I couldn't very well say THAT to him, so I nodded instead.
"Good. How did he react?" He stated again with a faint smile touching the sides of his lips. I hate it when he does that. Another reason why I hate Voltaire. Anyway, since I needed to be polite, I replied.
"He was very…indifferent about it." I stated back, masking the anger and hurt I felt by my civil tone. He leaned back in his chair and was silent for a while.
"It's too bad." He said after a while later. I almost jumped at the sound of his voice, too absorbed in my own thoughts. He continued. "And to think I was going to ask him to escort you in my upcoming masquerade party."
I stared at him. What? This can't be real. He was actually being nice? Wait…rewind and freeze please.
Okay…He knew I was waiting for Kai. In short, he knew I had…feelings for Kai before. In fact, that's why he sent Kai to Russia. That much I know now. I didn't blame Kai. I knew it was his stupid grandfather's entire fault. I also knew he hated me from the very beginning. If so, why is he making an effort to be nice to me by putting Kai with me? It didn't make sense.
I realized I'd been gaping at Voltaire this entire time and I quickly recovered from my daze. I answered the first thing that popped into my head.
"W…What party?" I said faintly, raising a brow in question.
"A masquerade party I'm holding this Wednesday night. All my foreign business contacts will be there. Of course you can expect there won't be only old people. I believe they thought it'd be very educational for their own sons and daughters to experience being with other people."
He paused for a moment, giving me time to contemplate. So it was one of his business parties then? He was holding a lot of these now. Obviously afraid all his big money generating pals would desert him if they found out he was…caught trying to take over the world…
"I expected you and Kai to be there of course." He stated after a while. He crossed his arms and stared at me a moment before continuing. "Well?"
"It's fine I guess." I shrugged and left his room. Inside though, it wasn't fine at all. After all that drama only on our FIRST morning together, I couldn't imagine what could happen if we spent the WHOLE NIGHT together at some stupid party.
Oh well, what's done is done. I'll just have to avoid him till that day and hope for the best. After all, how hard could it be to dance with someone you used to love?
I'd find out soon enough…
TBC…
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Author's Ending Notes:
Hehehe…hehehe…Well that should be fun…find out how this develops. It should be an interesting read. Oh yeah! *slaps forehead* The name!!! I forgot it again!!! Argh! Oh well…keep the suspense on I guess. A little suspense always goes a long way. I'll give you a clue…her name starts with either a 'C' or an 'S'. Hope that tidbit gave you enlightenment! Neways, please drop me a review!!! See you in chapter five…soon!!! Yay! Yay!