CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE: CONFESSIONS
Ever since Joyce had discovered that Buffy was the Slayer, she'd tried to be far more observant when it came to anything regarding her daughter. She'd become even more observant now that Faith had begun living in the Summers household, suddenly having two Slayers to worry about. She'd been noticing the strange behaviour between Faith and Buffy and had passed it off merely as the two girls becoming closer as friends.
She hadn't missed Buffy's very odd reaction when she'd suggested that Buffy and Faith were almost like sisters, but she'd refrained from calling Buffy on it, not certain that she particularly wanted to know the answer to her question. She'd noticed that Faith's bed in the spare room was very seldom slept in, unless Faith had a strange habit of waking up early and making the bed immaculately, which, if she knew Faith, was very unlikely.
Joyce walked into her daughter's room, a washing basket resting on her hip. She sighed softly, wishing that her daughter could be a little neater than she was. There were clothes and weapons strewn across the floor. She spotted Mr Gordo lying on the floor in a corner. She leaned down to pick up the neglected stuffed pig and turned her head to peer under Buffy's bed, not particularly surprised by the clothes that had accumulated beneath it.
Placing the washing basket on the floor, she knelt down to try and reach beneath the bed to collect the clothes. Out of habit, Joyce looked over the material, searching for blood or holes. As much as she didn't like knowing that Buffy was hurt during patrols, she couldn't help but be concerned. Her fingers traced over the design on the red singlet top in her hands, outlining the black dragon. Her brows knitted together in confusion. She'd never seen her daughter in anything like that. In fact, she was fairly certain she'd seen Faith wearing that particular top only two days before.
Joyce noticed a black mark on the tag of the top, and her curiousity got the better of her. Holding it between thumb and forefinger, she raised both eyebrows as she read the letters FK in black permanent marker.
She didn't know which disturbed her more, the fact that Faith of all people had her initials on her clothing, or that Faith's clothing was under Buffy's bed.
As a Sunnydale resident, her first instinct was set to DENY, DENY! She quickly conjured several other alternative ways that Faith's clothing could have found a way beneath Buffy's bed. Perhaps an injury during a patrol, or Buffy deciding that she suddenly liked dragons and wanting to borrow the top, or a quick simultaneous change before patrol where Faith had needed to borrow something of Buffy's.
She placed the singlet into the basket, along with a few items of Buffy's clothing that she recognised. She came to a pair of dark-blue denim jeans that were undoubtedly Faith's. They were too long for Buffy, and slightly larger at the waist. They had the trademark initials written on their tag as well.
Shaking her head slightly, she finished picking up her daughter's (and Faith's) clothing, becoming more and more concerned by the sheer amount of items that had been initialled and spread across Buffy's floor. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. She stood and slowly made her way downstairs just as the door opened and Buffy, Faith, Willow and Xander made their way inside, Xander mid-sentence.
"Buffy, tell your girlfriend that I'm not a pervert! I'm just a healthy American male who can appreciate the wonders of two beautiful girls kissing on the footpath," Xander said loudly.
"Didn't mean you had to stare X," Faith argued.
A loud bang startled the group, and they looked up to the staircase. The clothesbasket tumbled down the stairs, clothes flying across the floor. Buffy and Faith both simultaneously went very pale shades of white. The Scoobies all took in the sight of Joyce Summers staring down at the group open-mouthed and wide-eyed with shock. She put a hand out to steady herself on the banister.
"Staring at those other girls that were not know to us. Or affiliated with us. At all. In any way," Willow rambled, seeing the complete horror on her best friend's face, and the foregone conclusion that Joyce Summers had reached. "And…and that girlfriend comment…well, Buffy and I call each other that all the time. It's…just slang. Scooby slang. Cos…well, we're hip. Yo! And uh…well…I've actually run out of things to say, which…wow, that's just such a first for me when you think about it, cos…babbling. So…I'll uh…stop. Yes, stop. This is me…in all my stoppyness."
Willow fell silent and the group stood awkwardly with the tension hanging thickly in the air. Xander and Willow exchanged helpless glances, wishing they could take back both of their statements. They should have been more careful with their teasing.
"Well," Xander said loudly, clapping his hands together to break the silence. "Willow and I have…that thing. So…we're gonna go."
Buffy turned to look at her two best friends, a completely panicked look on her face. They'd got her into this mess, and they didn't even have the decency to stick around to get her out of it. Xander grabbed Willow's wrist and forcefully pulled her out of the Summers house, closing the door behind them.
Buffy turned back to face her mother who was still clutching the banister.
"Should I be here for this?" Faith whispered quietly. She was seriously hoping that Buffy said no.
"Uh…I think mom and I should probably talk alone for a bit," Buffy replied.
Faith nodded and reached across to squeeze Buffy's hand comfortingly. Buffy gave her a small smile and watched as her lover walked up the stairs, passed a shell-shocked Joyce and disappeared around the corner.
"Mom?" Buffy asked quietly.
There was a sick feeling rising within her chest. She'd been wanting to talk to her mother about this ever since she'd come back from Boston, but had never been brave enough to broach the topic. Now she'd been shoved into the deep end of the pool headfirst and had no choice but to sink or swim. There were so many different ways that Joyce could take the news, and even though she'd told Willow that shed hoped her mother would be alright with it, her biggest worry was that Joyce would react as badly as she had when she'd discovered that Buffy was the Slayer.
Joyce finally snapped out of her trance-like state. She let go of the banister and slowly walked down the stairs, surprised by how shaky she was. Even though she'd seen the signs and cleaned her daughter's room, it was a completely different thing to have the truth shoved in her face in such a blunt way.
Joyce silently led her daughter into the living room, Buffy following quietly behind her. Joyce sat down, and watched as Buffy delicately perched herself on the edge of the couch, her hands on her lap.
"Is uh…is what Xander said true?" Joyce asked.
Buffy swallowed hard and forced herself to meet her mother's eyes, unsure of what she could see within their blue depths.
"The uh…part about Faith and I being girlfriends, or the part about us kissing on the footpath?" Buffy asked, hoping for a small amount of levity. "Cos uh…well…yeah. It's true. Both parts"
Joyce nodded and fell silent once more. Buffy could hear her heart pounding in her chest, feel her throat clenching with rising panic. She'd disappointed her mother too many times to count, and she really didn't want to add this to her list. She loved Faith, and she couldn't help but wonder what would happen if her mother asked her to choose between them.
"And uh…how long has this been…"
"Going on?" Buffy finished for Joyce. "Well, officially since Faith came to Sunnydale. So…about three weeks. But…well, there's been something between us since we met."
"That's why you were so quiet after you first met her," Joyce said quietly.
Buffy nodded slightly and wiped her clammy hands on her pants.
"I…I was going to tell you," Buffy said quickly. "I just…well, I didn't really know how to tell you that I was…"
"Gay?"
Buffy shrugged slightly.
"I…I thought that…with you and Angel," Joyce said, trailing off slightly. She had never, and would never approve of Buffy and Angel together. She knew that Angel's curse prevented them from being together physically, but she still didn't particularly like the idea of her daughter dating a vampire. "I just…I didn't know that you were gay."
Buffy coughed, slightly uncomfortable. She'd known that this conversation wasn't going to be easy and she hadn't been prepared to have it today. She'd been hoping to work up to the topic with her mother, but her luck had always been severely lacking.
"Well, I uh…I'm not exactly gay per say," Buffy said. "I mean…I've never really…I haven't been attracted to other girls before. And…I mean, if Faith and I were to break up or something, I don't exactly think that I would find another girl to be with. I uh…well, it's not so much about Faith being a girl, y'know. It's just…she's Faith, and…and I love her."
Joyce fell silent once more. She didn't exactly know what to expect from her daughter, but it hadn't been that.
"You…you love her?" Joyce asked.
Buffy nodded without hesitation. "I do. I can't explain the how's and the why's, but…I love her. And, whenever I'm around her…gods I can't explain it, but…I'm just crazy about her."
Joyce nodded and forced her mind to work through everything her daughter was saying. She knew that she'd had less than brilliant reactions to her daughter in the past, and that if she reacted badly to this piece of news as well she could well lose her daughter for good. She definitely did not want to do that again.
"Well…uh…Faith's…she's a nice girl Buffy," Joyce said awkwardly.
"You're wigging aren't you?" Buffy asked, slightly disappointed. Even though she'd been expecting this reaction, it still hurt.
"Not…not exactly," Joyce replied. "I'm just…stunned. But…does she…does she make you happy?"
"Yeah mom…she does," Buffy replied honestly.
"And are…are the two of you being…careful?" Joyce asked.
Buffy flushed bright red. Not only was her mother asking her about any precautionary measures they'd been taking, but it was the older woman's subtle way of asking if she was sleeping with Faith.
"Yeah. We're being careful," Buffy replied.
Joyce nodded, thankful for the carefulness, but slightly shocked that her daughter was sleeping with another woman.
"Mom, I know that this isn't exactly what you want for me," Buffy began quietly. "And I know that you never expected it…I know I never did. But…I love her. And, I just…I really just want you to be happy for me mom. I don't want you to hate me."
Joyce reached across to take one of Buffy's hands, squeezing it gently. "I could never hate you honey," Joyce assured her. "And…and if Faith makes you happy, then I'm happy for you."
Buffy felt the weight that had been pressing against her chest disappear. A wide grin broke out on her face, and within the blink of an eye, the blonde Slayer had stood and pulled her mother into a tight hug. Joyce couldn't help but laugh slightly at the enthusiasm of her daughter's reaction. She hugged her daughter back, gently kissing Buffy's forehead.
"Love you mom," Buffy whispered.
"Love you too sweetie."
Buffy pulled back, grinned once more at her mom and bolted up the stairs, taking them three at a time. She burst into her room to find Faith pacing the length of the floor. The dark Slayer turned to look at Buffy, worried about what the outcome of the talk had been.
"What hap-"
Faith's question was cut off by Buffy flinging herself at Faith and kissing her deeply. Faith grinned as Buffy pulled away, feeling herself finally able to breath easier. She sighed happily and brought her hands to rest on Buffy's hips, pulling the smaller girl towards her.
"Good news huh?" Faith asked.
"The very best."
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Awww, mush.
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S&K.