CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR: REVELATIONS

Faith and Buffy lay on the carpet between the stacks in the library, Buffy with her eyes closed and Faith leaning on her side, one elbow up, hand cradling her head as she watched the exhausted Slayer doze. They'd been patrolling for longer than usual last night – due to an unexpected but sweaty stopover in a secluded crypt – and the blonde girl's face was drawn and pale from lack of sleep.

She liked the thing they had going. It was close, and comfortable. There was so much here that was of the good for Faith. The slaying and the sex were the two more energetic parts of their relationship, and since the first time they'd slept together the two girls had grown closer than Faith had thought she was able to be with anyone. But there was more between them, underlying all of their physical connections, and that was friendship. The understanding and humour that drew them together was what floored Faith the most. She'd never had that before. Buffy filled a place inside of her that she'd just assumed would ache forever. She secretly hoped that Buffy felt that too.

Faith reached out and gently kissed Buffy's shoulder. As the blonde Slayer's eyes opened, Faith leaned down and kissed her. Sometimes Buffy talked too much. Often she craved more silence between them. Silence could be filled with things other than words.  Silence is the perfectest herald of joy.  I was but little happy if I could say how much.

Finally she released Buffy's mouth and the girl smiled, and licked her lips, something that surprised Faith. It was something the dark haired slayer knew she herself would do, but was almost out of character for Buffy.

"There's a taste I could wake up to more often," Buffy said softly, sidling her body on the floor closer to Faith's.

Faith also moved closer so that their bodies were nestled against each other, and their breathing was almost in time. She closed her eyes and laid her head down, sighing as Buffy stroked her hair. She slid one warm hand up the back of Buffy's black singlet top, kissing the girl deeply and gently pushing her forwards with her hand that rested in the small of Buffy's back. She could lose herself in this moment. Clocks could freeze and Faith would remain here, happily unaware and surrounded by Buffy. Her hands, her face, her skin. Every sacred inch of her written with Faith's name.

Her thoughts were interrupted as she heard the door to the library swing open and footsteps echo on the floor. One set of feet moved slowly and she recognised the click of high heels. The other steps were heavier but quick and sharp.

Voices. Wesley and Joanna, discussing something with fervour. She removed her hand from Buffy's top, eliciting a small sigh of disappointment form the girl in her arms. She grinned but craned her head over Buffy's shoulder so she could just see around the corner of the stack they were obscured by. She was able to see Wesley and Joanna standing in the middle of the library.

"I don't think it's a good idea. In fact, scratch that, I think it's a completely terrible idea. And there is no possible way myself, or Rupert for that matter, will allow you to do this," Joanna said angrily.

"What you desire and what Mr Giles wants are of no consequence here, Ms Braidwood. The issue at hand is the fact that Faith's Cruciamentum was contaminated by the presence of Ms Summers and therefore, invalid. The only thing to do is to conduct it once again. Now is the perfect time now that the threat of the Mayor has been resolved. With the Mayor no longer in Sunnydale, we can invest our efforts in administering her test again.  And if you and Faith are indeed planning on staying in Sunnydale, then I must be sure that Faith is capable of working alongside my Slayer," Wesley said adamantly, his arms crossed.

Faith was shocked to feel Buffy's body stiffen in her arm as the word 'Cruciamentum' was mentioned. She couldn't quite see the expression on her face as she was resting her face close to Faith's neck. She couldn't help but wonder why the word, which still remained a mystery at best for Faith, caused such a reaction, but she brushed the thought away and kept listening.

"Wesley, you forget yourself. You are not Faith's Watcher, nor do you have anything to say about her Cruciamentum that is of any relevance or value to me. Stay away from Faith." Joanna leaned in as she said this and Faith was surprised. The normally affable British woman was very rarely raised to anger.

"No, Ms Braidwood, it is you who forgets yourself. I have close ties with the Council and I am aware that they don't know that you concealed the truth about Faith's coming of age from her," Wesley said accusingly.

"They don't need to know that. What does it matter? It's not important anymore, and it's equally unimportant for Faith to know," Joanna said, her voice straining to stay at a speaking level.

Wesley moved forwards, so that he was now almost invading Joanna's personal space. He leaned forwards, narrowed his eyes and said something which chilled Faith's bones.

"I understand that you care about Faith. But, as she is your Slayer, don't you think she deserves to know, and in keeping with tradition, has a right to know, that you drugged her, trapped her with two deadly vampires and that the girl she now has established a relationship with was involved?"

Faith's body suddenly lost much of its warmth. She released Buffy from her grip, and rolled away from her. So that was why she'd been so weak and unable to slay around the time she'd met Buffy in Boston. This explained so much. Although she still had very little clue of what was going on, she instinctively knew that the girl in her arms had been keeping something from her. And it seemed like a hell of a something.

"Faith…" Buffy for once seemed to be lost for words. Her eyes were clouded with fear and panic at Faith's discovery.

Buffy reached out to pull Faith towards her again, but Faith pushed her hands away and sat up, leaning against a stack and sitting cross-legged.

The look of hurt and broken trust on Faith's face was almost more than Buffy could bear. She wished she could close her eyes and not see the consequences of the secret she'd been keeping. She knew Faith had put her confidence in the open honesty between them, and Buffy knew she'd betrayed that. Her stomach slowly twisted into knots of guilt and panic.

"Faith I…I was…." Buffy started falteringly.

"Going to tell me?" Faith challenged angrily. "Tell me what Buffy? Explain to me exactly what is going on here?"

Buffy knew she had really upset Faith, because she'd failed to abbreviate her name to 'B' as she usually did. She cringed and tried to explain.

"It's complicated," she began, but was cut off by a sharp scoff from Faith.

"Don't coddle me. I'm a big girl. Just tell me the truth. Might make a nice change." Faith refrained from glaring at her lover, but it was all she felt like doing.

Buffy drew a deep breath. What she was about to say would only hurt Faith, but she was in too deep now to continue in her lie of omission.

"Okay. There's a test all Slayers go through when we reach eighteen, called the Cruciamentum.  Our Watchers drug us with this organic compound that takes away our strength.  We get sent to a house to defeat a vampire that the Council's locked into the house with us, and…if we survive we pass.  If we die, well...I guess that'd be failing," Buffy said quietly.  She knew that the truth of Faith's Watcher's involvement was going to make this even harder for Faith to hear, but Faith had asked for the truth. 

Faith looked at Buffy, trying to take in the words that she was being told.  She swallowed hard, trying to keep herself from stepping forward and hitting Buffy for keeping this from her.

"So…why didn't you tell me?" Faith asked.  "Cos I know I asked you about this before."

Buffy sighed and looked away from Faith's hurt brown eyes.

"Cos I didn't want you to go through what Giles and I went through after my Cruciamentum," Buffy replied.  "Cos it hurt knowing that the one person we're meant to be able to trust was the one who betrayed us like that."

Faith shook her head and stepped closer to Buffy, reaching out to grab Buffy's chin to force the shorter girl to look at her.

"That's where you're wrong B.  I trusted you.  I told you once that I've never trusted anyone my whole life, except you.  You think one more adult on the list of people who hurt me makes a difference?  Cos it doesn't.  I was meant to be able to trust you," Faith said forcefully.

"I know," Buffy whispered quietly, closing her eyes to try and block out the anger in Faith's eyes.  She took several deep breaths before opening her eyes and looking imploringly at her girlfriend.  "I know, and…I'm sorry Faith.  I made a mistake."

Faith regarded the older girl closely for a moment, still feeling sick and shocked by what she'd heard.  She shook head and took a step back from Buffy.

"Yeah.  You really did."

Without another word, she turned and quickly stalked down the stairs, passing by a shocked Wesley and Joanna.

"Faith-" Joanna tried, her eyes wide and horrified.  She hadn't meant for her Slayer to hear any of her conversation with Wesley. 

"Save it."

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S&K