Ceaser's Diary
By: Dark Flower
Disclaimer: To point out the obvious, no, I do not own Suikoden or any of its mass amount of characters
Author's Notes: I admit, this was one of the most challenging fics I've ever written. Ever. This is a request from Mintaka, our lovely Ayame from the SCB, the Suikoden Comment Box. She threw an "odd request" at me; it was for a rather unusual yaoi pairing. I've decided to do it from a perspective, since I haven't done one in a while. I won't give the pairing away, since it'll be a little secret, of sorts. Thanks for taking some of your time to read my lowly fan fiction! And, without further adieu.
"Ceaser Silverburg! I demand you stop reading that nonsense!"
The glass-shattering cry put a shiver through my back as I clutched my ears. That woman has never given me a day's rest! I shut the book with a loud impact, dust flying from its parched pages. "What is it, Apple dear, that appears to be nonsense? I'm reading this book, it's on...battle tactics. Maybe something you should be reading up on a little bit more," I said with a yawn, throwing back my red hair. It was so long, it kept getting in my eyes.
I opened one eye to see her fuming, her hands on her hips and her eyes narrowed slits behind her large glasses. "Why, you! I happen to know what your diary looks like, and this book seems to be identical to it! I'm not a moron," she cried waving her finger at me like a scolding mother.
I felt my face heat. I was used to Apple fuming at me, but not when I'm sitting in the middle of the Budehuc Castle library, plenty of other residents near-by! I took my feet off of the table and sat up, holding my diary behind my back. Leaning close to her face, I frowned at her. She stepped back, surprised at me. "You can yell at me for just about anything anything, and I can take it, but when you call my diary nonsense...that's just too much," I whispered in a hiss.
I heard a chuckle behind me, and a swerved around, my face still crimson, to see a giggling Ace. I frowned at him, but not as menacingly as I had at Apple. "What are you laughing at?!" I demanded, clenching my fist.
Ace smiled, his prominent cheekbones lifting. "I thought you were a little too old for a diary. Besides, ain't diaries for girls?" he asked, his smile spreading into a grin as he burst out laughing.
My teeth were clenched together, and hard. I'm not a fighter, and I'm not exactly old, so I knew when to stay out of trouble. Behind Ace I saw another figure, the librarian, Eike. He was smiling. I knew I was blushing even harder then.
Not saying a word, I marched out of the library, diary in hand. I slammed the door hard as I went out into the corridor. Eike was smiling. Eike never smiled, at anyone.
***
After the incident at the library, I didn't have anywhere to go. The library was where I stayed most of the time, where I could study, or just read. Apple rarely showed up there, but lately she had been bugging me more and more. She irritated me to no end, but I was traveling with her, and that was just a fact I had to live with.
After gathering my thoughts, I tried to think of anyplace I could go where there would be peace and quiet. I looked down to the thick, ragged looking book I clutched so tightly. It was my diary, my most prized, not to mention secret, possession ever since I had turned fourteen. If anyone had even seen the diary, or knew what was inside of it, I know I'd be the laughing stock of this entire castle of idiots.
Sighing, I knocked on Hugo's door. He was the Flame Champion, and held the True Fire Rune. Normally I would just barge in to any room, but there were strict orders on this room. After a few moments of silence, I opened the door.
Hugo's room was much like his second home. Karayan furniture, beads, cloth, decoration, and clothes lay scattered everywhere. Lucia and Beecham often accompanied Hugo in the grandest room of the castle, but the room was deserted.
There was a room attached onto the Flame Champion's room, an arch connected the two rooms. There was not a sound, so I figured that I was the only one there. Satisfied with this, I jumped onto Hugo's large, feathery bed, landing on my back. I opened the seemingly ancient book and continued where I had last left off.
Every so often, I would read through my diary, seeing how I had grown in strength and sophistication. This was that time, and lately it was important to read through recent entries. They were really beginning to bug me, since they hadn't made sense when I wrote them, but they do when I read them.
I swallowed hard, looking at the black ink on the page as my face went a pale red. Clearing my throat, I took a breath as I began to whisper the words written.
"Summer 15, 1000
Among all the putrid people here in Budehuc, I can't belive I'm taking a liking to someone. It seems so strange, but of course, the man's a genius. I could learn something from him. He's a familiar face, too, so maybe that's why I'm so eager to see him. But, sometimes, I just want to see his face. It makes me feel calm, like living in this dump is worth it. What could this mean? Albert always used to tell me loyalty could lead to a downfall. But I want to stay loyal to him...I want to go to Harmonia. That way I can still see his face. I still don't know what that means.
-Ceaser Silverburg"
"That sounds interesting, Ceaser," came a calm, even voice. I quickly sat up, my head violently jerking upwards to see if the voice matched the face I had written about. My stomach tied itself into a knot as I saw him, standing there. He had been listening the entire time.
In the arch, that led to the next room, stood the pale, slim figure of a Harmonian man. He was leaning on his hand, his eyes open, revealing their beautiful, hazy, violet color. His ever-present smile was still as eerie as always, and his head was cocked to the side. "Who were you writing about?" he asked in a curious tone.
In a shock, I slammed the book shut quickly. I saw him jump slightly in shock, a surprised look on his face. I couldn't explain why, but it somehow excited me. "Oh, nothing you'd be interested in, Bishop Sasarai," I said quietly, my head bowed.
The Harmonian bishop chuckled, walking in graceful strides to Hugo's bed, taking a seat right beside me. My stomach tied itself tighter as I shuffled away, nervous about being so close to an object of absolute perfection. "You know, Ceaser Silverburg, its not like you to have such feelings. You don't share them with anyone, do you?" he asked.
I shook my head, my wild red locks covering my embarrassed face. Everything he said seemed so wise, like he knew all the secrets, everything going on under the shadow. I could feel the presence of his smile as he strung his arm over my shoulder. "Its Geddoe, isn't it? Such a talented commander. I haven't seen you talking to him much. Then again, I'm sure someone as young as you would feel intimidated by such a strong man," he said.
I looked to him. There was an odd hint in his voice, almost similar to a plea. I shook my head. "No...its not Geddoe," I answered in a whisper. Did he know what feelings I was writing about? I didn't at the time, but then I knew. I knew all too well, as I felt his angelic arm wrapped around my shoulder. I knew. I was in love with Bishop Sasarai.
He smiled at me again, a broader smile than his usual, calm one. "Its not Geddoe? I see," his words breathed relief, I could tell. Something I've learned form my many experiences with people is not to under or overestimate, and how to read people's genuine feelings. It was not only in the slightest of tones, but in their eyes, too. There was something strange in Bishop Sasarai's eyes. "Then why don't you tell me, Ceaser? The grace of our Holiness understands our every feeling. As a Bishop, I can help you communicate with him. I can help you sort out your feelings," he continued.
"That was an old entry," I mumbled in disdain. He cocked his head to the side again. He looked so beautiful, the pale skin of his face framed with the most gorgeous colored hair. "I understand what it means now. The person it spoke of was you. I'm in love with you," I whispered, so faint I was sure he couldn't hear.
I lowered my head in shame. I had brought disgrace to the Silverburg family, I was in love with a ruler of Harmonia, a Bishop. A man. I inwardly cursed myself.
Suddenly, his soft, gently hand lifted my chin so that I could look into his eyes. He smiled, another different smile, one that was so sweet I could almost taste his lips. I could only wince again with my thoughts.
He pulled me in, drawing closer to those beautiful, soft lips. "The Silverburgs are a most respected family in Harmonia culture," he whispered to me, looking deep into my eyes. "To meet one so unique as you, who is more sincere than to draw strategy for social standard, that is a rare gift. You put on an act, Ceaser Silverburg, but I have managed to see through it. You are beautiful."
The next thing I can feel is the flood of warmth that are his lips, the feeling I had been imagining from the moment I had met him in the One Temple. His arms wrap around my waist as he pulls me closer, into his warm chest, a place I had only dreamed to lay my head upon.
Suddenly, I hear the door creak open. I try to move away from Sasarai, to see what blubbering idiot dare to interrupt this precious time, but he holds me tight.
"Are you in here, Ceaser?!"
It's the high pitched voice of Apple that comes piercing into my ears. I moan into Sasarai's hard chest, but I hear the old lady gasp. She's obviously caught sight of the two of us.
"Miss Apple, if you would be so kind?" comes the soft voice of Sasarai. Next thing, the door slams shut and the hard tapping of her shoes on the marble floor are heard as she storms down the stairs.
Sasarai pulls me away from him, looking into my eyes. The only thoughts running through my mind are how beautiful he is, and how an angel from the heavens ever found its way to a foul place like Budehuc. I smile as he brushes a lock of fire red hair away from my eyes. "Ceaser, you are so beautiful," he said, and I wonder how a creature like that could ever say such a thing. "Come, let's go somewhere else. Hugo would be mad if he found us here."
I just nod weakly, picking up my diary as he leads me out of the room. His hand slides around my waist, and the other Budehuc residents don't even seem to take a second glance.
Budehuc castle is a weird place. Everyone and everything is accepted here. But...I guess that really, that's a good thing.
The End
I understand if they may have been out of character. I'm usually pretty good with that kind of thing, but I don't usually have pieces with characters like Ceaser and Sasarai. I hope I've made the pairing okay. This was for you, Mintaka-chan, so I hope you really enjoyed it! If you have some time, I'd appreciate a if anyone left a review, to let me know how it was, and what I can work on for next time. Until then!!
Love & Peace!!
By: Dark Flower
Disclaimer: To point out the obvious, no, I do not own Suikoden or any of its mass amount of characters
Author's Notes: I admit, this was one of the most challenging fics I've ever written. Ever. This is a request from Mintaka, our lovely Ayame from the SCB, the Suikoden Comment Box. She threw an "odd request" at me; it was for a rather unusual yaoi pairing. I've decided to do it from a perspective, since I haven't done one in a while. I won't give the pairing away, since it'll be a little secret, of sorts. Thanks for taking some of your time to read my lowly fan fiction! And, without further adieu.
"Ceaser Silverburg! I demand you stop reading that nonsense!"
The glass-shattering cry put a shiver through my back as I clutched my ears. That woman has never given me a day's rest! I shut the book with a loud impact, dust flying from its parched pages. "What is it, Apple dear, that appears to be nonsense? I'm reading this book, it's on...battle tactics. Maybe something you should be reading up on a little bit more," I said with a yawn, throwing back my red hair. It was so long, it kept getting in my eyes.
I opened one eye to see her fuming, her hands on her hips and her eyes narrowed slits behind her large glasses. "Why, you! I happen to know what your diary looks like, and this book seems to be identical to it! I'm not a moron," she cried waving her finger at me like a scolding mother.
I felt my face heat. I was used to Apple fuming at me, but not when I'm sitting in the middle of the Budehuc Castle library, plenty of other residents near-by! I took my feet off of the table and sat up, holding my diary behind my back. Leaning close to her face, I frowned at her. She stepped back, surprised at me. "You can yell at me for just about anything anything, and I can take it, but when you call my diary nonsense...that's just too much," I whispered in a hiss.
I heard a chuckle behind me, and a swerved around, my face still crimson, to see a giggling Ace. I frowned at him, but not as menacingly as I had at Apple. "What are you laughing at?!" I demanded, clenching my fist.
Ace smiled, his prominent cheekbones lifting. "I thought you were a little too old for a diary. Besides, ain't diaries for girls?" he asked, his smile spreading into a grin as he burst out laughing.
My teeth were clenched together, and hard. I'm not a fighter, and I'm not exactly old, so I knew when to stay out of trouble. Behind Ace I saw another figure, the librarian, Eike. He was smiling. I knew I was blushing even harder then.
Not saying a word, I marched out of the library, diary in hand. I slammed the door hard as I went out into the corridor. Eike was smiling. Eike never smiled, at anyone.
***
After the incident at the library, I didn't have anywhere to go. The library was where I stayed most of the time, where I could study, or just read. Apple rarely showed up there, but lately she had been bugging me more and more. She irritated me to no end, but I was traveling with her, and that was just a fact I had to live with.
After gathering my thoughts, I tried to think of anyplace I could go where there would be peace and quiet. I looked down to the thick, ragged looking book I clutched so tightly. It was my diary, my most prized, not to mention secret, possession ever since I had turned fourteen. If anyone had even seen the diary, or knew what was inside of it, I know I'd be the laughing stock of this entire castle of idiots.
Sighing, I knocked on Hugo's door. He was the Flame Champion, and held the True Fire Rune. Normally I would just barge in to any room, but there were strict orders on this room. After a few moments of silence, I opened the door.
Hugo's room was much like his second home. Karayan furniture, beads, cloth, decoration, and clothes lay scattered everywhere. Lucia and Beecham often accompanied Hugo in the grandest room of the castle, but the room was deserted.
There was a room attached onto the Flame Champion's room, an arch connected the two rooms. There was not a sound, so I figured that I was the only one there. Satisfied with this, I jumped onto Hugo's large, feathery bed, landing on my back. I opened the seemingly ancient book and continued where I had last left off.
Every so often, I would read through my diary, seeing how I had grown in strength and sophistication. This was that time, and lately it was important to read through recent entries. They were really beginning to bug me, since they hadn't made sense when I wrote them, but they do when I read them.
I swallowed hard, looking at the black ink on the page as my face went a pale red. Clearing my throat, I took a breath as I began to whisper the words written.
"Summer 15, 1000
Among all the putrid people here in Budehuc, I can't belive I'm taking a liking to someone. It seems so strange, but of course, the man's a genius. I could learn something from him. He's a familiar face, too, so maybe that's why I'm so eager to see him. But, sometimes, I just want to see his face. It makes me feel calm, like living in this dump is worth it. What could this mean? Albert always used to tell me loyalty could lead to a downfall. But I want to stay loyal to him...I want to go to Harmonia. That way I can still see his face. I still don't know what that means.
-Ceaser Silverburg"
"That sounds interesting, Ceaser," came a calm, even voice. I quickly sat up, my head violently jerking upwards to see if the voice matched the face I had written about. My stomach tied itself into a knot as I saw him, standing there. He had been listening the entire time.
In the arch, that led to the next room, stood the pale, slim figure of a Harmonian man. He was leaning on his hand, his eyes open, revealing their beautiful, hazy, violet color. His ever-present smile was still as eerie as always, and his head was cocked to the side. "Who were you writing about?" he asked in a curious tone.
In a shock, I slammed the book shut quickly. I saw him jump slightly in shock, a surprised look on his face. I couldn't explain why, but it somehow excited me. "Oh, nothing you'd be interested in, Bishop Sasarai," I said quietly, my head bowed.
The Harmonian bishop chuckled, walking in graceful strides to Hugo's bed, taking a seat right beside me. My stomach tied itself tighter as I shuffled away, nervous about being so close to an object of absolute perfection. "You know, Ceaser Silverburg, its not like you to have such feelings. You don't share them with anyone, do you?" he asked.
I shook my head, my wild red locks covering my embarrassed face. Everything he said seemed so wise, like he knew all the secrets, everything going on under the shadow. I could feel the presence of his smile as he strung his arm over my shoulder. "Its Geddoe, isn't it? Such a talented commander. I haven't seen you talking to him much. Then again, I'm sure someone as young as you would feel intimidated by such a strong man," he said.
I looked to him. There was an odd hint in his voice, almost similar to a plea. I shook my head. "No...its not Geddoe," I answered in a whisper. Did he know what feelings I was writing about? I didn't at the time, but then I knew. I knew all too well, as I felt his angelic arm wrapped around my shoulder. I knew. I was in love with Bishop Sasarai.
He smiled at me again, a broader smile than his usual, calm one. "Its not Geddoe? I see," his words breathed relief, I could tell. Something I've learned form my many experiences with people is not to under or overestimate, and how to read people's genuine feelings. It was not only in the slightest of tones, but in their eyes, too. There was something strange in Bishop Sasarai's eyes. "Then why don't you tell me, Ceaser? The grace of our Holiness understands our every feeling. As a Bishop, I can help you communicate with him. I can help you sort out your feelings," he continued.
"That was an old entry," I mumbled in disdain. He cocked his head to the side again. He looked so beautiful, the pale skin of his face framed with the most gorgeous colored hair. "I understand what it means now. The person it spoke of was you. I'm in love with you," I whispered, so faint I was sure he couldn't hear.
I lowered my head in shame. I had brought disgrace to the Silverburg family, I was in love with a ruler of Harmonia, a Bishop. A man. I inwardly cursed myself.
Suddenly, his soft, gently hand lifted my chin so that I could look into his eyes. He smiled, another different smile, one that was so sweet I could almost taste his lips. I could only wince again with my thoughts.
He pulled me in, drawing closer to those beautiful, soft lips. "The Silverburgs are a most respected family in Harmonia culture," he whispered to me, looking deep into my eyes. "To meet one so unique as you, who is more sincere than to draw strategy for social standard, that is a rare gift. You put on an act, Ceaser Silverburg, but I have managed to see through it. You are beautiful."
The next thing I can feel is the flood of warmth that are his lips, the feeling I had been imagining from the moment I had met him in the One Temple. His arms wrap around my waist as he pulls me closer, into his warm chest, a place I had only dreamed to lay my head upon.
Suddenly, I hear the door creak open. I try to move away from Sasarai, to see what blubbering idiot dare to interrupt this precious time, but he holds me tight.
"Are you in here, Ceaser?!"
It's the high pitched voice of Apple that comes piercing into my ears. I moan into Sasarai's hard chest, but I hear the old lady gasp. She's obviously caught sight of the two of us.
"Miss Apple, if you would be so kind?" comes the soft voice of Sasarai. Next thing, the door slams shut and the hard tapping of her shoes on the marble floor are heard as she storms down the stairs.
Sasarai pulls me away from him, looking into my eyes. The only thoughts running through my mind are how beautiful he is, and how an angel from the heavens ever found its way to a foul place like Budehuc. I smile as he brushes a lock of fire red hair away from my eyes. "Ceaser, you are so beautiful," he said, and I wonder how a creature like that could ever say such a thing. "Come, let's go somewhere else. Hugo would be mad if he found us here."
I just nod weakly, picking up my diary as he leads me out of the room. His hand slides around my waist, and the other Budehuc residents don't even seem to take a second glance.
Budehuc castle is a weird place. Everyone and everything is accepted here. But...I guess that really, that's a good thing.
The End
I understand if they may have been out of character. I'm usually pretty good with that kind of thing, but I don't usually have pieces with characters like Ceaser and Sasarai. I hope I've made the pairing okay. This was for you, Mintaka-chan, so I hope you really enjoyed it! If you have some time, I'd appreciate a if anyone left a review, to let me know how it was, and what I can work on for next time. Until then!!
Love & Peace!!