The Art of Coquetry

By PepsiAngel

Chapter 3: Plan B

Neville Longbottom plopped down next to Ginny in an armchair. He looked slightly anxious at hearing her proclamation and a tiny frown made its way onto his face. "You do?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "I do. But it's nothing to be afraid of-- I just need some assistance from you."

Ginny went on to explain all about her feelings for Harry, how she had started looking at other guys (she left his name out, of course), and her previous attempt to see if he was also feeling less than one hundred percent loyal to her.

Of course, this was all retold with a very prominent blush.

"Oh, wow," said Neville plainly. "How did I not notice Parvati and Harry?"

Ginny giggled. "Somehow I think everyone in the common room missed it. Too bad, really, because it was quite funny."

He managed to smile at her, despite the growing feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach. "What do you want me to do?"

All sorts of images flashed through his mind. Unfortunately, they all involved him in a dress and makeup whispering sweet nothings into Harry's ear in an attempt to bait him into returning the affection.

"I'll just need you to talk to Harry about girls. Keep bringing it up, even if he tries to drop the subject. He will, no doubt, end up confessing to harboring a secret lust for McGonagall, if nothing else."

Neville looked positively revolted but Ginny just shook her head, almost impatiently. "I'm only kidding, honestly. You'll believe anything."

"I will not," he stated defensively.

Great, I've managed to offend two people in the last ten minutes, she complained silently.

"Sorry, I don't mean to be short with you. I'm not having the best of days though, as you can imagine."

"I suppose," he replied with a shrug but his features had softened. "I'll do it, by the way."

She grinned over at him excitedly. "Oh, you will? I could kiss you right now!"

"I don't think you should," he advised her, grinning right back, rather grimly. "Not yet anyway."

*

"Hello, Harry," Neville greeted his roommate, still walking toward him. He had come up to the room they shared with three other Gryffindors because Ginny, who had also spotted Harry trying to creep upstairs unnoticed, had raised her eyebrows at him pointedly.

The sun was now beginning to set as he had been trying rather desperately to avoid talking to his friend all day.

Needless to say, he had been successful. Until, that is, an irate Ginny discovered him huddled behind a bewildered seventh year that had the misfortune of being relatively bulky.

She had demanded he stop the ridiculous hiding and just get it over with. He was afraid to push it for fear that she may very well snap and simply nodded obediently.

Now that you're all caught up on how he became her personal slave of sorts, it is safe to continue my story.

"Oh, hi Neville," he replied. Relief was written all over his face as he greeted the other boy.

If that wasn't enough to make one feel terribly guilty than he did not know what was. He hated to interrogate Harry, as it was quite clear that the encounter with Parvati Patil had slightly alarmed him.

. . . Heck, it even troubled Neville and it wasn't he who had been pursued in an almost frighteningly flirtatious manner.

"I was wondering if we could talk," he said, silently praying that Harry would want to be alone to ponder the meaning of life or something equally deep and sensitive.

But Harry merely shrugged; looking slightly confused, and consented.

How, exactly, was he supposed to get talk about girls with him? Oh, this was going to be agonizing.

Neville was, to say the least, not exactly a ladies' man. In fact, whatever the opposite of ladies' man is; that is what he would use to describe himself.

Before he could entirely psyche himself out he managed to say very quickly, "Sodoyouhaveyoureyeonanygirls?"

Well, that went brilliantly.

. . . Or not.

"I have a girlfriend," Harry pointed out. His voice expressed how utterly bewildered he was by this inquisition.

Neville's face flushed and he wrung his hands awkwardly. "Yes, I know, but I thought maybe you still were interested in other girls. I mean, at least to notice if they were good looking. Well, do you?"

First Parvati coming on to him and now Neville's sudden and unforeseen curiosity into his love life? It was certainly an unusual day for him. Unusual in the worst possible way, of course.

"No, not really," replied Harry truthfully. Now that it came up, he realized that it was true. He had not even noticed another girl as being, well, a girl since he and Ginny had started going out.

"What about Parvati?" asked Neville in a tone so casual that it was actually very suspicious.

. . . He was honestly quite terrible at this.

Harry studied him for a second before saying matter-of-factly, "I reckon she's not my type."

"Lavender?"

"She giggles far too much. I feel a bit sorry for Seamus."

"Padma Patil?"

"She looks just like Parvati. They both aren't my type."

(He felt foolish saying 'his type' as if he actually had one.)

"Oh, right . . . what about that Fleur girl from the Triwizard Tournament?"

"Well, she turned out to be all right but she's still too keen on herself."

"I've got it! What about Hermione?"

Harry couldn't help himself and he burst out laughing. "The least of all of them. Neville, you know it isn't like that at all. What's got you so interested, anyway?"

He studied his shoes intently and then mumbled to them.

"Why are you talking to your feet?" asked Seamus Finnigan as he entered the room and headed towards his four-poster bed.

"Er," offered Neville weakly. "I thought maybe I heard them say something. I was answering?"

Harry chuckled as Seamus threw him a quizzical look. "Right then, Neville."

"I'll see you two," he told them, still looking somewhat confused, and he slipped out the door again.

"Now will you please tell me what's got you asking so many questions?" demanded Harry.

Neville's heart beat faster as he wondered if he suspected anything. He'd hate to be the one to expose Ginny . . . he had a feeling Harry would not appreciate knowing she was having their peers attempt to trick him.

"Er, nothing," he stuttered. He couldn't entirely meet Harry's eyes, so he allowed himself to stare at his chin interestedly. "I've just had a thought that maybe you liked Parvati-"

Harry started laughing again at this, much to his surprise. "Oh, you saw her in the common room, then?"

Happy for this escape, unknowingly offered to him, he nodded his head fervently.

"Well, that was a misunderstanding. She was er," his voice trailed off and suddenly the embarrassment of the whole incident came back to him and he felt flustered. "She was flirting with me but I left."

Neville, sensing his friend was reliving the humiliated, quickly made up an excuse to leave the room. He found Ginny in the common room and related their conversation back to her as best he could.

"So, does that settle it," he asked Ginny hopefully.

She smiled at him. "Yes, with you anyway. Thanks a lot, but I'll handle it from here on out."

He felt immensely relieved but tried to act as if he had a slight bit of remorse in him at not being of any more help in the project, if you could call it that.

She was already walking away when her words finally sunk in.

"But I'll handle it from here on out."

Suddenly, he felt a rush of sympathy for Harry and, even more so, a sense of gratitude that he did not have Ginny Weasley for a girlfriend.

*

A/N: Was that as horrible as I think it was? I'm sorry it took so long but I've been busier than usual and a few crappy things have happened but I'll try not to disappoint with the next chapter. Keep reviewing, as I appreciate it tremendously!