The Third Nature -Book One of the Triad
Voyager fantasies by Taya 17 Janeway @ Nimgil
truth is never what it seems
Janeway was perusing the final battle plan in her ready room, a cup of coffee steaming by her side. The gentle light of the stars shone through the viewpanels, and although she couldn't see it, she could feel the planet spinning slowly beneath the ship. The sensation was... unbridled; it sometimes felt like she had a special connection to this world, one which went beyond words, beyond expression.
Perhaps it was the subtle connection she had with the higher dimensions here, the same connection which held the planet and every living thing together in a delicately tangled web. Yes. That had to be it: magic, pure magic. She took a sip of her coffee and savored its rich, pungent aroma. Even her senses seemed to have changed; they were sharper, more heightened and detected a lot more than they used to. The world around her seemed to be brighter and more real, somehow. She glanced out of the window at the stars, and they seemed to be like shining beacons, somehow, guarding them, guiding them.
The door chirruped, interrupting her from her ruminations. Janeway put down the padd in her hand and turned to face the door. "Come," she said.
The door slid open, revealing Kes' small form framed in its confines. The Occampan seemed unusually hesitant, pausing in the doorway with her fingers entwined for a moment before stepping into the room. The door shut silently behind her.
Janeway picked up on her subtle cues immediately. Bad news? She asked tentatively, leaning forward on her desk.
Kes nodded. "I'm afraid so."
Janeway sighed. "The war?"
To Janeway's surprise, Kes shook her head, and gazed into her eyes intensely. Janeway paused, thinking. If Kes hadn't come with bad news about the war... what, then, was her bad news about?
It struck her the very next moment.
"It's about Voyager returning home, isn't it?" she asked Kes softly.
"Yes." Kes couldn't have looked more sympathetic. "Myriam has been studying the space-time fabric closely, and has come to the conclusion that your ship has two choices: to leave for your universe immediately, or remain here forever."
"Why?"
"It is the nature of the anomaly which brought you here," said Kes. "It causes large disruptions in the higher dimensions. We can create a similar phenomenon to bring you back, but the amount of dimensional disruption it causes is proportional to its distance in the space-time continuum from the original anomaly." She paused then to allow what she'd said to sink in.
Its distance in the space-time continuum.... "Which means that time is a crucial factor," said Janeway softly.
"Yes." Kes walked over to the glass banister by Janeway's desk and settled down on it, placing her small hand over Janeway's. "We have determined that if the aperture isn't opened within the next few days, subsequent damage caused to the higher dimensions will be permanent."
"What kind of damage?"
Kes drew a sharp breath and turned away briefly, breaking contact with Janeway's hand. When she turned back to look at Janeway her expression was pained. "It will severely affect our ability to interact with the higher dimensions."
"Which means... your entire way of life will be disrupted, if not destroyed," said Janeway softly. Her coffee cup absently drifted from across the table into her hand; watching its progress, Janeway began to feel a cold, jittery feeling coalescing in her abdomen. With a soft sigh she rubbed the bridge of her nose. "That's not acceptable."
"No, it isn't," Kes agreed. "But you could leave now, and the damage would be minimal enough for us to adapt to it."
"Kes, I've already pledged to help your people in this war, no matter what the cost. Even if it means stranding Voyager in this universe." Janeway stood resolutely. "Besides, even if we hadn't promised to help you, causing disruptions in the higher dimensions at this critical point in the war is going to have adverse effects on its outcome. So, no. Leaving at this juncture is not an option." Leaving the comfort of her desk, she began pacing the room.
Kes gazed at Janeway, sorrow and regret etched on her face. "I'm sorry, Captain. I know how much reaching home means to you, and I understand how-- what it feels like- to not be able to return home."
Janeway paused in her pacing and turned to look at the gentle Occampan. "Oh, Kes. You don't have to be sorry- it's not your fault." She glanced at the silent stars outside her window. She expected them to look cold and friendless; yet somehow they seemed unchanged, still the proud sentinels she'd envisioned moments ago. Thoughts were reeling in her head now; one after another the scrambled over each other, clamoring for attention. Images flashed by: Earth, Mark and Molly, Voyager's maiden launch. Somehow they seemed lifetimes away. Unreal, swimming in some backlot of her memory like vistas from a beautiful dream, dredged up and held dear after the last traces of slumber had been washed away.
Still gazing at the stars, coffee cup in hand, Janeway let out a breath and started talking. "There must be some other way back. I can't believe that the universe would just deposit us here with no way of returning. I'll ask Myriam to let B'Elanna look over the calculations; she might be able to find some loophole- something, anything which might help us get back to our original universe-"
Myriam has a great deal of experience in these matters, said Kes, her tone slightly chiding. And she has exhausted the possibilities.
There are always unexplored possibilities, Janeway insisted.
"Still... you should not hope unnecessarily," said Kes. "If you choose to stay now, you must be prepared to stay here indefinitely."
Janeway was silent for a while more, then: "Who else knows about this?"
"No-one else on your crew except the Doctor," said Kes. "Will you tell the rest?"
"It's impossible to keep anything secret on this ship," said Janeway, "and I shouldn't be keeping my crew in the dark about something so important. It's not a question of if, but more of when."
Kes nodded in understanding. "You're afraid of affecting crew morale."
"Precisely. I want them to be in top form when we go up against the Maldorian fleet. Feeling depressed won't help them."
"Maybe it might motivate them."
Janeway cocked her head at Kes. "How so?" she asked, clearly not seeing Kes' point of view.
"If they knew that this world was going to be their home for at least a few years, then fighting for the freedom of this world might mean a lot more to them," Kes explained.
"Perhaps." said Janeway. She set the coffee cup down on her desk, then turned back to Kes. "Thank you for telling me, Kes. I'll.... have to talk this over with Commander Chakotay before announcing it to the crew." She sighed. "I hope it won't be too hard on them."
Kes nodded and prepared to leave. Yet as she reached the doorway, she paused as a thought struck her, and she turned back to Janeway. "Captain... perhaps you should consider that some of the crew might actually be happier here than in the Alpha Quadrant." Then she left the room, leaving Janeway to digest that thought.