The Third Nature -Book One of the Triad

Voyager fantasies by Taya 17 Janeway @ Nimgil

twenty six : breach of trust

The sky was breathtakingly blue; a soft fresh breeze stirred through the central clearing of the daer. Far in the distance, the low hooting sounds of daybirds sang in unison. The peace belied the air of tense excitement that enveloped the Daer-On-Naiad. If it had been any other ordinary day, Harry Kim would have been content with taking a breather to appreciate the beauty of the world around him. Yet the impending watershed battle loomed large over his head, and he knew he couldn't afford the luxury of relaxing.

The air inside the Delta Flyer was stifling hot: the environmental controls had been deactivated, and the sunlight pouring in through the viewpanels warmed the interior uncomfortably. Lying on his back underneath an exposed nest of circuits and wires, Kim felt like he was breathing liquid honey. He could feel the sweat accumulating of his hairline; inwardly he wished they could have done the modifications in orbit (where it was cooler) instead of here, planetside. It was wishful thinking: they didn't have enough time to make the modifications to protect the Flyer from being detected in orbit, and, besides, the Flyer was due planetside anyway. He welded the last breakers in place and snapped the panel covering back to its original position.

Janae's head came into his field of vision: she was leaning over the console, her golden hair in disarray. "You've finished with the new shield arrays?" she asked.

With a grunt, Kim pushed himself out from under the console. "More or less." He stood and brushed his uniform clean of lint specks. Janae was leaning propped on the tactical controls, hydraulic spanner in hand. Kim could hear a few of the Mage children playing in the anteroom: Bryanna, Josh, Celestine. "The only problem is we haven't tested them."

"They'll work," Janae assured him cheerfully.

"They had better," Kim said wryly, but he couldn't help thinking, why is she so sure? Paranoia and suspicion danced in the back of his mind; he wanted to trust her word, but could he?

Janae, telepath that she was, picked up on his unease at once. "Something wrong?"

Kim forcibly veered his thought train away from his doubts and focused on something else instead. "Nothing... just thinking."

Janae put the spanner down and pushed herself away from the console, coming over to face him where he was working on a console. She took his hand, saying, "You can tell me."

Kim pulled his hand away deliberately. "We were discussing the ritual of joining earlier today--" he began, but Janae caught onto what he was trying to say.

"You're wondering why I didn't tell you about the full ritual," she said softly.

"Well, yes, that." Kim resumed work.

"I just didn't want to scare you, that's all," she said. "After all, your captain is seriously considering doing the ritual."

Kim chuckled dryly. "Unlikely, given the consequences."

There was a moment of silence between the two, and Kim sensed that Janae was debating on whether to tell him something that was weighing heavily on her mind. "Okay. Out with it. What's wrong now?" he asked her.

"I- I don't think that I should be the one who tells you this."

Kim narrowed his eyes. "Tell me what? What's so hard to swallow that you can't even tell me?"

Janae looked straight at him. "Has no-one told you?"

"Told me what, that they think you're a spy-- "

"No!" Janae interjected angrily. Her cheeks flushed for a moment before she took a breath, calming herself down. "No," she continued in a more normal tone of voice, "I'm talking about Voyager's situation." At Kim's puzzled look, she continued, "It's.. it's what Myriam has been saying: that Voyager is trapped here unless you leave by the end of today; if not, the fabric of space time will be so badly damaged that we won't be able to use magic--"

Kim stared at her in shock. "Is that true?"

Janae sighed, uneasy. "I'm no scientist, Harry: I'm a Warrior, that's my calling. I don't know the second thing about all this space-time mumbo-jumbo, but Myriam—she does, she knows everything there is to know about it. And I trust her judgement." As Kim turned away from him she caught him by the arm, saying, "I know this is difficult for you to accept. I know how much you miss your home-"

Kim furiously pulled his hand away from hers. "You don't know me that well!" he said, much more harshly than he'd intended. What she'd just said pounded frantically in his ears. Trapped. Voyager is trapped here.

"Don't I? I thought I did." At Kim's silence, she sighed heavily. "Perhaps I am a fool, then." She gazed back hard at him. "I just wanted you to know this, Harry. I haven't had my Joining yet, and I never may have. My... betrothed was killed in the fighting when I was five years old; and I haven't found another. But when I heard that your captain might authorize a select few to undergo the ritual, I thought of you. I thought that, maybe, just maybe, you might consent to be my chosen partner." She paused. "But I'm wrong, aren't I?"

"I don't know. I really don't," said Kim flatly, not looking at her. "Everything's moving too fast, and the battle is only days away."

Janae withdrew from him, chewing her lip. She hesitated for a long moment, then blurted. "You believe them."

"Believe whom?" said Kim, carefully keeping his expression neutral, focusing on the work at hand.

"Oh, Harry, you know." Janae folded her arms and looked searchingly at him. "Everyone seems to think I'm a traitor. That I'm leaking all our deepest secrets to the Maldorians. To the Empress."

There was a long, long silence. Then Kim asked, "Are you?"

Janae turned to leave, then paused and turned back to gaze sadly at Kim. "I thought you knew me better than that."

Then she was gone.

Kim let out a big sigh, and put whatever he was doing out of his mind. That hadn't gone the way he'd intended it to. Could he trust her word? Was everything that she said true? Voyager being trapped in this universe forever, her absolute trust in him, her not being a traitor?

"She's not a Maldorian spy," said Bryanna's voice. Kim whirled to face the child, mildly startled by her intrusion. The girl was perched demurely on the edge of the tactical controls' seat, hands neatly folded behind her back. She looked amused by Kim's surprised countenance. "Josh and Celestine went back to the children's room; I was following them, but I decided your conversation was more interesting."

"You were eavesdropping," said Kim in annoyance.

The girl shrugged. "You were speaking too loudly."

Kim sighed and turned back to his work. "I don't know what to think, really," he said aloud, hoping that voicing his ambivalence would help eradicate some of his doubts.

"About Janae? She's not a spy."

Kim glanced at her over his shoulder. "And how would you know?"

"She isn't. None of the Warriors are. They're too loyal to Myriam and Nydea. They would never, ever contact the Empress, even if their survival depended on it."

Kim turned slowly from his console. "So... are you saying that the spy is from some other class?"

Bryanna looked at him straight in the eye. "None of the Panizhe are spies or traitors," she said firmly. "They're all loyal to the cause."

"So you think that the Empress gets her information about our movements from some other source?" Possibilities began to fill Kim's head. "Hidden recording devices? Shielded orbital satellites?"

Bryanna shrugged. "I don't know." Switching topics in the cavalier manner only a child can manage, she added, "I'd better get back to our room. I still have a few lessons to do before our attack on Tiuagad."

"You'll do that," Kim told her as she left the Flyer, but inside his head was still reeling. He desperately wanted to believe Bryanna, but what did she know? Only notions born of childish naïveté: she might believe that the Panizhe were too morally pure to betray their own brethren, but he knew better. Yet he continued to hope that Janae could be trusted. Perhaps if what she said about Voyager being stranded were true, then he'd know she wasn't lying to him. He had to find out.

And there was only one was to find out: ask the captain.