Spring and Summer 1420

By April, the Shire was bursting forth with so much new growth that it lifted the spirits of all who lived within its borders. The marks of Sharkey's reign were still painfully evident throughout the land but all the hobbits set to spring cleaning and planting with a vigor. The Gaffer was frequently heard spouting a new homily, Where there's green, there's hope.

Sam himself was busier than ever. He hadn't yet told Rose they would be moving into Bag End at Frodo's invitation. He was running himself almost ragged between moving preparations, Shire restoration and planning a wedding but Rose was happy that the last meant Sam almost lived at the Cottons' for a while again. She sometimes insisted that Sam must be too tired to walk home at the end of an evening if it was very late or the weather was wet so he often would sleep in the spare room Frodo had used in autumn.

One night about a week before the wedding, Sam's slumber was interrupted by a small orc prodding him.

"Sam? You awake?" whispered the soft-voiced orc... with long curly hair... and unusually small teeth.

Sam blinked in the dark, not sure if he was dreaming or awake. "Rosie? Is something the matter?

"My dear clumsy brother Nibs broke a pane in my window while painting the frame but he didn't fix it yet. You know I can't stand the rain but it started blowing right in and I can't go back to sleep.... Can I climb in with you?"

Um... I don't know that it's fitting with the wedding still a week away and all. Why don't you go sleep with Nibs? It's his fault."

"Oh, he hasn't let me sleep with him since he was about fourteen. Said he was getting too old. Besides, I'd rather be with you, fitting or not." Rose walked around the other side of the bed and slipped in, nestling up against Sam's back. "This is nice," she murmured and then she was deep asleep.

Sam just smiled down at the loose fist Rose had wormed around his chest. Yes. This is nice. It was a long time before he got back to sleep himself.


Shortly before dawn, Rose was dreaming. She'd had such dreams before but this time was a little different. It was more tangible; she could feel Him with her. She let out a little moan. She felt His body move against hers, His breath in her face, and it was pushing her toward a frenzy.

Beside her, Sam had been staring at the wall thinking about the upcoming wedding day when he had heard a sound from Rose. He rolled over to face her, enjoying the closeness of her body to his, the way her breath mingled with his. The predawn light made her curls seem like a halo around her still-shadowed face. He smiled at the thought of waking up like this every morning and decided to wake her with a kiss. As his lips brushed hers, he felt an explosion in his groin. Rose's knee had come up hard against his morning fullness. Then Sam felt strong fists slam into his chest, knocking out what little wind he had left after the first assault on his body. Rose kicked and growled until an incapacitated Sam was on the floor curled into a ball of rather delicate agony.

After sucking in a couple of shaky breaths to recover from the shock, Sam peered over the edge of the bed. Rose was sitting up straight gasping for air.

"Rose?" he asked warily.

Rose turned her head with unseeing horror in her eyes. "Where is He? He wants... He tried... hn?... Sam?... Is He gone?"

"Is who gone?"

"Him. He..." Rose shook her head trying to clear her thoughts.

"You must have had a nightmare." Sam climbed back onto the bed and kneeled beside her. "It's over, my dear." Rose just clung to him as tears leaked out. Sam felt an ache in his heart as Rose trembled in his arms. He was reminded of all the times he had held Frodo like this when he tried to shut the Red Eye from his mind. He stroked her hair and whispered, "Rosie love. Your Sam is here. Come back to me."

At last Rose sat back and hung her head down as a few sniffles escaped. Sam cupped her chin with one hand and wiped away her tears with his thumb.

"Can you tell me about it? A burden is easier carried by two than one, mark me," said Sam. He took her hands in his and held her eyes with his in total acceptance.

Rosie closed her eyes so she wouldn't have to see that acceptance turn to disgust or horror. "I was dreaming about last November. It was the day I got back home after the Battle although I didn't arrive until after everyone had already gone to bed." She paused, gathering courage. "I had walked around for ages trying to forget my nightmarish encounter earlier that day but it haunts me still. There was a Man..." She shuddered at the memory of the Southron man who found her riding through the woods. His hand covering her mouth; the waves of alcoholic breath. Rose let go of Sam's hands and curled into herself, closing her eyes, her nightshirt wrapped like a shroud.

He tried to rape me," she whispered. Saying the words made it real all over again. She remembered her knee in His groin, then His dropped knife in her hand, the weight almost crushing her as He sprawled. Striking again and again, the rain becoming warm and red. Red as wrinkly old apples. She barely managed to choke out, "I killed him." She waited, not knowing what to expect.

She could feel Sam shift on the bed. He's leaving, Rose thought. But then he picked her up and set her in his lap and wrapped his arms and legs all around her. He kissed her hair and nuzzled her ear and she felt safer than she had in a long time.

"Oh, Rose! My dear brave Rose. I didn't know. How terrible! That oughtn't have happened to you. I won't never let anything bad happen to you again!" he said fiercely, squeezing her even tighter against his chest.

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Samwise Gamgee. You couldn't always protect Mr. Frodo either but you always loved him and in the end you saved him. We can never know what's around the next bend. Just promise you will always love me, too."

I will. I do. And he held her so close that no further words were needed.


The rain settled in for the rest of that day. Rose eventually slept through first and second breakfast but Sam had gotten up as soon as he was sure she had fallen asleep again. When he came out of the privy, he was surprised to find Rose's mother waiting for him and she shoved him into the nearest empty room.

Normally Mrs. Cotton was as gracious and friendly as any hobbit but she could be truly formidable when her ire was raised. She planted herself inches from Sam and growled, "Your wedding is in a week! Just couldn't wait, could you?"

Sam was stunned by the accusing tone in her voice. "What's this all about? What are you suggesting?"

"You know very well, Samwise Gamgee. Rosie always helps me make breakfast and when she didn't come I went to get her and found her bed soaked with rain, so then I went to ask if you had seen her but the only answer was snoring so I went in to rouse you, and there she is in your bed. Her eyes are all puffy like she's been crying." Mrs. Cotton's voice went up another octave. "I want an explanation straight up! What have you done?"

"We didn't do nothing wrong, Mrs. Cotton. Sam fought the urge to shrink away from her wrath. He would not make matters worse by giving a false appearance of guilt. She couldn't sleep with the rain blowing into her room through that broken window. She climbed in with me and was fast asleep a moment later. That's all."

"What about the noises I heard at dawn? She poked a finger at Sam's chest. Hmmm? At the time I thought she was having one of her dreams she won't talk about so I let her alone then but I started to worry more and more as I waited for her in the kitchen.

Sam had just about had all he could stand of accusations. "That was one of those dreams. That's what she was crying about. We talked a little after that and then she went back to sleep."

"Why would Rose talk to YOU about things she won't even talk to her own mother abou...?"

"Begging your pardon, Sam interrupted, but she knows her own mind and it ain't my place to tell you about it." Sam took a deep breath before continuing, "I'll be wanting a good long talk today with her. In private." Sam's voice softened a little. "I'll suggest she have another talk with you and Mr. Cotton after that but it's her choice."

Mrs. Cotton looked long and hard at Sam and saw that he would not be moved on this. Though still deeply troubled, she had not seen any sign of guilt or deceit in Sam's manner. She waved him back into the hall.
"At least put Rose into one of her brothers' rooms, then you can help me finish making breakfast. I'll take care of explaining Rosie's absence to Mr. Cotton."

Sam went back to his guest room where Rose was still sleeping. Her eyes were indeed still a little puffy but she looked at peace. He slowly folded the covers back and it seemed she had never looked so small to him. Yet everywhere that she was exposed by the twisted nightshirt he saw her strength too. Little had he known all those weeks ago when he watched her making bread that he would be ever so glad Rose wasn't as soft and refined after all as some hobbit lasses.

Leaning over the bed he lifted her shoulders first and settled her head against his own shoulder then scooped up her legs. Rose nuzzled into his neck and settled back into the slow breathing of deep sleep. Sam felt the warm air ruffle through his open collar into the hair on his chest and, it seemed, all the way to his heart which began beating so loudly he feared it would wake Rose up. Quickly he tucked her into Nibs' empty bed and hurried back to his guest room.

Oh, bother! Get a hold of yourself, Samwise Gamgee. One week. Mrs. Cotton didn't mean to put ideas in your head.

By the time Sam got back to the kitchen, there was naught to do but set the table for breakfast. The meal was eaten virtually in silence. After, Sam avoided conversation by busying himself with checking which invited wedding guests had not yet responded. Second breakfast, too, was a quiet affair until they were almost done. Finally Mrs. Cotton said to her husband, "Tom dear, I want you to come to the market with me this morning to look at some things for the wedding."

Mr. Cotton scowled at Sam, then at his son Nibs and said, "Certainly, love. I have to go anyway to pick up some glass so Nibs can fix Rosie's window. I hope there isn't too much damage in the room from his carelessness." Nibs' ears turned red with embarrassment over disappointing his father. "He can come along too so he sees just how much it's going to cost him if he breaks something again."


The Cottons had gone into market and Sam had started preparing elevenses before Rose finally appeared. She was so famished that she started nibbling bacon right out of the pan even though it burned her fingers to do so. Sam gently swatted her hand away saying, "Good things come to those who wait." A moment later, Rose was puzzled to see a blush engulf Sam's face.

Rose polished off her plate of food in no time. "Too bad it's raining or I would be out picking fiddlehead ferns. I'm that hungry." She proceeded to steal one of Sam's biscuits by way of example.

Sam looked at her carefully and said, "Rose, when did you start to hate the rain?"

The biscuit stopped in front of her open mouth. "What?"

"I remember catching a nasty cold a few years ago because you loved to walk in the rain. I recall thinking that was your plan all along so you could come nurse me back to health." Sam put his hand on her arm and asked again, "When did the rain turn from friend to enemy?"

Rose's appetite failed and she put the biscuit down. "You know when."

"Aye. I think you should tell me more about that night. Did... did he hurt you? You said he tried but...well, you got away and I hope it wasn't... too late. You can tell me, no matter what."

Rose feigned fascination with cutting a bit of potato into ever smaller crumbs on her plate. Suddenly her concentration was broken by the knife slipping out of her shaking fingers and clattering onto the floor. She gripped the edges of her chair to steady herself and took a halting breath before starting.

"It was a rather dark afternoon when I was coming home though the forest and a Man suddenly jumped out into the road. My pony startled and I fell off. He quickly wrapped one hand over my mouth and the other grabbed between my legs and he picked me right up like that. He said something about wanting to enjoy a little tidbit' before leaving the Shire. He carried me back into the trees a way then threw me down. He was on me again before I could get away. He was huge. And he had a knife. He said, 'Squeak all you like, little mouse. No one will hear you out here. Be still and you might even enjoy this.' That's when I looked down and knew exactly what he wanted."

Rose shivered and looked around the room as if to reassure herself that she really wasn't back in the forest. "Rape. By one of the big folk. I had never thought about what the word really meant. I remembered Ma saying it was better to die fighting than to let that happen. He would probably kill me anyway. I just kicked up with all I had right between his legs before he... before he could... do... do that... to me. He gasped and fell over a little and dropped his knife. I didn'thave time to think. I just grabbed it and stabbed him through the neck." She stared down at her hands twisting together in her lap, unable to look at Sam.

Sam's heart wrenched as her blunt words brought terrible images to his mind but he held his tongue and let Rose continue.

"I hate to think of what battle must be like. So much blood. She squeezed her eyes shut. It came spurting out of him; stung my eyes. I could feel him clawing at me and I just kept striking until he stopped. He was so heavy, I could hardly crawl out from under him. I just left him there and started for home. I found the pony but left it behind when it started getting lame. I walked the rest of the way, hoping the rain would rinse off the last of the blood. I thought I would never get clean. I destroyed the clothes later." She fell silent.

"And you never told anyone? Why did you keep it to yourself?" he asked, concerned, tears welling up in his eyes.

"At first I just wanted to forget. After all that Man wasn't going to bother anyone else and everyone had so many worries of their own after the all the troubles." A tear rolled down Rose's cheek. "And later I started to worry you wouldn't want me anymore if you knew what I had done."

"No! You're my Rose. That's never going to change." He pulled her into his lap and kissed her hair. "You did what you had to, my brave lass." He turned her face to his and kissed her, just enough to let her know his feelings hadn't changed. "I think you should talk to your Ma and Da. They've been right worried." He smiled somewhat wretchedly. "I got quite an earful from your Ma just this morning."

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The wedding was held on a beautiful spring day beside the mallorn tree in Bilbo's party field. Frodo, as Deputy Mayor, presided. After their kiss to conclude the ceremony, Sam and Rose grabbed Frodo and sandwiched him with a kiss on each cheek. The celebrating went on until the next morning with so much entertainment kindly arranged by Frodo that Rose and Sam were hardly missed when they slipped away after sunset.

The next morning Sam came into the Bag End kitchen and found Frodo nodding over his breakfast tea at the table. A few broken notes of singing still drifted in from the party field. Frodo's official sash was askew and he looked even more tired than Sam felt. Sam squeezed onto the bench and nudged Frodo companionably. "Mr. Frodo, I thought you'd learned your lesson at Bilbo's eleventy-first birthday party and would make sure to send everyone home before midnight. Did you get ANY sleep?"

"Are you kidding? There were guests to be looked after. And besides, I didn't want you listening for me snoring on your wedding night."

Sam blushed redder than the roses outside the kitchen window. "You don't snore. But just in case you start in your old age, we've moved into the far end of the burrow." He chuckled. "Maybe by then we will have some little ones in the room next to yours and they will drown you out."

A couple of months later, Rose confirmed Sam's happy threat by announcing there would be a new little Gardner the next spring. Frodo barely contained his urge to smother her in a hug and settled on a kiss and a squeeze of the hand. "Mr. Frodo! I haven't turned into glass, you know!" Frodo didn't hear because he was already spinning Sam around the room.

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As summer deepened, Frodo became more and more preoccupied with his writing and began to retreat from Shire doings. By September, Rose and Sam felt a growing worry though Frodo would always brush it off. One night, after her regular late meal (Sam had started calling it 'twoses'), Rose saw a light under Frodo's door. She knocked and heard a flat "What?" from the other side.

Inside the room she found Frodo sitting cross-legged on his bed with his traveling pack in front of him. "Mr. Frodo, what's wrong? We hardly see you these days. Now you look like you are going on a trip that you haven't told us about." She looked at the dark circles on his pale face. "Are you having those dreams again?"

Frodo fingered his white gem and murmured, "The road goes ever on and on. He looked up with haunted eyes. My journey out of Mordor still isn't finished, Rose. Someday I will have to set out again though it be even harder than leaving Rivendell or Lothlorien."

Rose stared intently into his eyes. Seeing that he was not muttering dream words, she said, "You can't leave. It would break our hearts. Sam's especially."

Frodo glanced at the slight bulge of Rose's stomach meaningfully. "He can't be torn in so many ways, dear Rose, and he can't be whole so long as I am not. Someday I will heed the call to go oversea for healing. You will have to look after Sam. I can't."

"I will, but you can't go yet, Mr. Frodo." Rose knew Frodo was right but it was a bitter truth.

"You at least have to stay until the baby comes. Please? Does Sam know you are going?"

"No, Rose. And don't tell him. He is too close to me and he can't see what has to be yet."

Rose wiped the tears from her eyes and grabbed Frodo's hand, pulling him down the main hall to their end of the burrow. "Go on, Mr. Frodo. Get into bed. There's room enough for all four of us, for now. Try not to wake Sam."

In the morning, Sam woke in a comfortably crowded fog, not quite sure if he was dreaming. He seemed to be remembering a scene from the Journey. There was Frodo, pale and worn out, and himself fervently trying to provide shelter. Only it wasn't himself.

"Rose?"

Her eyes flicked open instantly. "Sshh. Don't wake him." She reached over to take Sam's hand. "I told him he's welcome anytime he can't sleep. Do you mind?"

"No." Sam smiled at the two faces he loved most in the world. "I'm glad you are here with me."


END

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