Note: I just want to say thanks for all the great comments on my fanfic.
Before I continue the story I just want to add a note here. I know this is
something I should have included in chapter 1 but for all of you that have
read it I'll just put it here now.
Warning: This fanfic has violence, sexual references and a lot of bad
language. If you're not allowed to read about rape (which has already
happened), relationships (still happening), cursing (still happening) e. t.
c. then PLEASE don't read this fanfic. The whole fanfic contains the issues
I have mentioned so as I have said don't read on if you are not allowed to.
I don't mind if you're not allowed to read it but just don't get angry or
flame me if you read something you don't like.
Thankyou to all who have wrote such good reviews. Hopefully the story will be finished by the end of this month. Enjoy this chapter!
Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Own. Harry. Potter.
Chapter 7 - Letting Everyone Know
Hermione stood paralysed to the spot, feeling a horrible numbness creeping up inside her. Ginny was just starting to catch her breath. The music continued to pound through the walls and out into the Hogwarts grounds where they were standing.
'Ginny, please tell me you're joking!' Hermione cried.
'No', Ginny said desperately, 'that was what I wanted to tell you earlier on when I came looking for you before your party. I had just overheard Ron saying to Harry at lunch that he thinks he loves you. I came to find you before the party started but you'd already got to the Common Room.'
Had Hermione not been so confused she wouldn't have been able to speak because of the horrible numbness caused by worry. But she had to find out about Ron from Ginny.
'What did he say when he got the letter?' Hermione demanded as she began to walk to the entrance of Hogwarts. Ginny had to run to keep up with her; Hermione was walking at such a fast pace.
'I don't know', Ginny said.
'What do you mean you don't know?' Hermione snapped impatiently.
'Well, he just looked at the letter and you could tell, you know from the look on his face that he was upset. He ran out of the dormitory and I of course knew what the letter read. I called to him, asking him if he was alright and he said something like, 'She wants him.''
Hermione gathered speed quickly and tore through the castle, and gradually started to run into the Common Room. She was so frantic and desperate to see him. Why did the corridors suddenly seem so long and boy's dormitories so far away?
'Ron!' Hermione cried, running into his room. Ginny followed close behind her. Harry, Neville, Seamus and Dean sat on each of their beds, talking to each other. Hermione broke up their conversation. 'Where's Ron?' she asked, her cheeks tinted red from running.
The fours boys simply looked at each other, all of them had an expression somewhat like guilt on their faces that Hermione didn't like. It was Harry who spoke up.
'He's not feeling very good at the moment Hermione', Harry told her quietly, as if he were explaining something to a very young child.
'Well neither am I Harry!' Hermione said, raising her voice, 'And to be quite honest I haven't been feeling very well for a long time until now. I've been used, harassed and treated like some boring person who knows nothing about enjoying yourself!' Her voice was starting to shake and this had an effect on her whole body, she couldn't stop shaking in anger. 'For months I have been nothing but complete wall paper. No one seems to notice me! No one seems to understand that I have real feelings like everyone else. So I've had enough of it. Don't get me wrong Harry; you've been a good friend to me, as you always have. But I've kept my feelings to myself for too long. How do you think I feel knowing that the one person who has kept me sane for the past year may now never speak to me again because he might think I've been using him? Now stop acting like I was born yesterday and tell me where Ron is!'
The four boys started blankly at Hermione; they'd never seen her so determined or expressing herself so clearly.
'He, he just left after he told us he wanted to be alone', Harry ventured to say as everyone was else was so worried they would say something to make her upset. 'We honestly don't know where he is but he's upset. Ginny explained to us.' Hermione quickly turned to run of the room. She didn't want to let anyone see her eyes that were filled with tears. Ginny hadn't followed her - she knew better than to talk to Hermione now.
There was no point in searching for Ron now. He'd be too upset and all Hermione wanted to do was to cry her eyes out. She slowly made her way outside to the lake. Tomorrow she would find Ron and tell him everything.
'Hermione . . .' the last person she expected to hear that night was quietly calling her from behind the tree at the lake. She couldn't believe he was talking to her.
'Ron!' Hermione exclaimed; she had to confront him now. It was now or never. 'Ron please listen to me. I know you must be upset right now but please just give me a chance to explain!' she had said this so fast she wasn't sure if Ron could understand a word she had said.
'Hermione', Ron stopped her. His voice and face were calm but his expression was new to her. It was as if he were painfully trying to understand something. 'It's alright. I've been thinking. Don't feel as if you have to explain yourself. I don't blame you for anything. You've been feeling very upset lately and I know you need to be with someone at this time.'
'Please Ron . . .' Hermione, began trying to explain.
Again Ron cut her off, 'I've been thinking and reading this letter. I was going to try to find you but I'm going to tell you now. I think you should go to Bulgaria with Krum. Maybe I misjudged him. He really does care about you and you need to be with someone like that. A person who can love you so strongly and it'll do you good to get away for a while. You can get your head around things. If you love Krum you should go to him.' Ron ended his speech and watched Hermione with a passive expression his face.
'Ron . . . what did you just say?' Hermione couldn't believe she was hearing this. Ron really wanted her to go to Bulgaria. He was prepared to let her walk out of his life just like that. Was he even going to attempt to fight for her?
'The only thing I want is for you to be happy Hermione. Krum must have loads of money.' Ron gave a forced laugh, as if trying to make a joke out of things, but Hermione didn't see anything funny. 'Well, he is famous and he can look after you. You'd never need anything again. He can make you happy so I think you should go to Bulgaria and forget anything I've said tonight that would make you feel you have to stay for me.'
Hermione was so angry and hurt at the same time he didn't know whether to shout or cry. Angry because Ron was just going to let her go but hurt that he couldn't love her enough to make her stay with him. 'So that's what you wanted to say is it?' her eyes filled with tears but they refused to fall from her eyes. 'That's how this ends is it? As simple as that? You want me to go to Bulgaria and you'll probably never see me again.' Her face was now contorted in anger. 'They have some very good universities in Bulgaria and I might just decide to stay there. And what if I marry Krum and we have children? What if I get a job there and get too caught up in that to visit you? That will make me forget everything you have said to me tonight won't it? You do realise you'll never see me again.' Hermione knew she was going a bit over the top but this was serious! 'Yeah ok, I might visit you once a week. It won't be hard to afford transport over here when you're married to a famous Bulgarian Quidditch player.' She definitely wasn't implying Ron was poor but in all her confusion she was pouring her heard out. 'So I'll visit you once a week. But won't Viktor like me leaving most of the time so I'll visit once a month. But the children might need me at home so it'll be every other month. But my job might be demanding so I might visit once a year and then eventually I won't visit at all. I'll just be a memory to you Ron! Is that what you want? I'll just be that little swot who annoyed you at school, living as a memory in the back of your mind. We'll always wonder what would have happened if we'd just been that little bit braver and fought for what we wanted in life.'
Ron just stood there listening to her and his eyes had started to fill with tears; she'd never seen him cry before but she was too angry to notice. 'Well goodbye then Ron', Hermione sobbed finally letting the tears trail down her cheeks. 'It was nice knowing you, in fact knowing you was the best thing that ever happened to me.' With one last look at Ron, this time to remember how much she loved him she turned to walk away. How could he not love her enough to keep her there?
Ron's whole body was shaking and he turned his emotions over in his head. You idiot! He cried thinking to himself as she walked away, out his life. He tried so hard to deal with his inner turmoil. He wanted so badly for her to stay but how could he ever give her what Viktor could? She'd be much better off with him. He struggled hard with himself, before coming to a final decision.
'Hermione!' Ron cried after her, between tears. He ran up to her and took a hold of her hands. But couldn't hold them steadily enough as they were shaking so violently. She refused to look up at him. 'I'm so sorry!'
'What have you got to be sorry about?' Hermione asked savagely, finally glaring into his tear-filled eyes. 'You're not sorry if you're just prepared to let me walk away from you.'
'No I mean I'm sorry because I'm being selfish!' Ron said. Hermione frowned with confusion and looked deeply into his eyes for an explanation. 'Please forgive me', he pleaded, 'but I'm being so selfish. You probably won't want me after I tell you this but the reason I told you to go to Bulgaria was because you'd be much better off with Viktor. You can still go if you want but remember this; he'll never love you as much as I love you right now and he never will. I love you Hermione more than anyone else in this whole world! I'm selfish for telling you this because it'll make it harder for you to go. I don't want you to feel you need to stay because of what I said but I mean it. If you stay with me I'll spend the rest of my life doing my best to make you happy and I'll love you forever. But if you go you'll be loved and cared for by Krum and you'll have everything you've ever dreamed of.'
Ron was crying and letting his feelings come pouring out of him in a way Hermione had never seen him before. She could see is honesty and true feelings for her in his eyes and the way he was looking at her with shame for being 'selfish' as he called it and with love at the same time. He didn't want her to leave at all, he just wanted what was best for her.
Hermione suddenly burst into tears for being so nasty to him and let her head fall against his chest to hide her shame.
'All I've ever dreamed of is being here with you Ron', Hermione confessed. 'I love you and I have loved you ever since the start of this year. The best thing for me is to be with you. I don't love Viktor no matter how much he loves me. I want you Ron, you and no one else . . . ever.'
Getting all of her feelings off her chest was a huge relief. Ron was silent for a while before asking, 'Are you sure this is what you want?'
She nodded, lifting her head to look at him intently. Ron smiled warmly at her and she couldn't help but smile back with happiness. He put his arms around her and a huge warm feeling welled up inside him; he just wanted to pick her up and swing her around. 'Then stay here with me', he said, holding her close to him. She lifted her head up to him and he brought his lips to hers to kiss her passionately, trying to show her how much he loved her and how good he felt. She looped her arms around is neck and pulled their faces closer. She shyly kissed him, letting her tongue slide him slowly so Ron encouraged her, letting their tongues touch together intimately and deepening the kiss.
Nothing could be better than this . . .
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! I meant to make this chapter longer but I think if I did it would get boring! There was a lot of talking in that chapter but it had to be done. Now that this chapter's over the rest should be able to be written more easily. I know I mentioned there would be action and stuff but as I said I'll leave it especially for the next chapter which should be up this time next week. So look out for that and bear with me for a while. I've got a lot of school work to do so it takes me a while. Plus I'm a slow person and lazy. The next chapter will involve Ron and Hermione going out on a date, they run into trouble but Hermione doesn't feel like getting upset as she has other things on her mind . . . ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm giving too much away. Anyway, two more chapters to come. Well, one more and a kind of epiloguey thingy told in Ron's point of view. Hope you liked this chapter, now I gotta go and do (sigh) homework. Please review and tell me what you think! Thanks!
Thankyou to all who have wrote such good reviews. Hopefully the story will be finished by the end of this month. Enjoy this chapter!
Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Own. Harry. Potter.
Chapter 7 - Letting Everyone Know
Hermione stood paralysed to the spot, feeling a horrible numbness creeping up inside her. Ginny was just starting to catch her breath. The music continued to pound through the walls and out into the Hogwarts grounds where they were standing.
'Ginny, please tell me you're joking!' Hermione cried.
'No', Ginny said desperately, 'that was what I wanted to tell you earlier on when I came looking for you before your party. I had just overheard Ron saying to Harry at lunch that he thinks he loves you. I came to find you before the party started but you'd already got to the Common Room.'
Had Hermione not been so confused she wouldn't have been able to speak because of the horrible numbness caused by worry. But she had to find out about Ron from Ginny.
'What did he say when he got the letter?' Hermione demanded as she began to walk to the entrance of Hogwarts. Ginny had to run to keep up with her; Hermione was walking at such a fast pace.
'I don't know', Ginny said.
'What do you mean you don't know?' Hermione snapped impatiently.
'Well, he just looked at the letter and you could tell, you know from the look on his face that he was upset. He ran out of the dormitory and I of course knew what the letter read. I called to him, asking him if he was alright and he said something like, 'She wants him.''
Hermione gathered speed quickly and tore through the castle, and gradually started to run into the Common Room. She was so frantic and desperate to see him. Why did the corridors suddenly seem so long and boy's dormitories so far away?
'Ron!' Hermione cried, running into his room. Ginny followed close behind her. Harry, Neville, Seamus and Dean sat on each of their beds, talking to each other. Hermione broke up their conversation. 'Where's Ron?' she asked, her cheeks tinted red from running.
The fours boys simply looked at each other, all of them had an expression somewhat like guilt on their faces that Hermione didn't like. It was Harry who spoke up.
'He's not feeling very good at the moment Hermione', Harry told her quietly, as if he were explaining something to a very young child.
'Well neither am I Harry!' Hermione said, raising her voice, 'And to be quite honest I haven't been feeling very well for a long time until now. I've been used, harassed and treated like some boring person who knows nothing about enjoying yourself!' Her voice was starting to shake and this had an effect on her whole body, she couldn't stop shaking in anger. 'For months I have been nothing but complete wall paper. No one seems to notice me! No one seems to understand that I have real feelings like everyone else. So I've had enough of it. Don't get me wrong Harry; you've been a good friend to me, as you always have. But I've kept my feelings to myself for too long. How do you think I feel knowing that the one person who has kept me sane for the past year may now never speak to me again because he might think I've been using him? Now stop acting like I was born yesterday and tell me where Ron is!'
The four boys started blankly at Hermione; they'd never seen her so determined or expressing herself so clearly.
'He, he just left after he told us he wanted to be alone', Harry ventured to say as everyone was else was so worried they would say something to make her upset. 'We honestly don't know where he is but he's upset. Ginny explained to us.' Hermione quickly turned to run of the room. She didn't want to let anyone see her eyes that were filled with tears. Ginny hadn't followed her - she knew better than to talk to Hermione now.
There was no point in searching for Ron now. He'd be too upset and all Hermione wanted to do was to cry her eyes out. She slowly made her way outside to the lake. Tomorrow she would find Ron and tell him everything.
'Hermione . . .' the last person she expected to hear that night was quietly calling her from behind the tree at the lake. She couldn't believe he was talking to her.
'Ron!' Hermione exclaimed; she had to confront him now. It was now or never. 'Ron please listen to me. I know you must be upset right now but please just give me a chance to explain!' she had said this so fast she wasn't sure if Ron could understand a word she had said.
'Hermione', Ron stopped her. His voice and face were calm but his expression was new to her. It was as if he were painfully trying to understand something. 'It's alright. I've been thinking. Don't feel as if you have to explain yourself. I don't blame you for anything. You've been feeling very upset lately and I know you need to be with someone at this time.'
'Please Ron . . .' Hermione, began trying to explain.
Again Ron cut her off, 'I've been thinking and reading this letter. I was going to try to find you but I'm going to tell you now. I think you should go to Bulgaria with Krum. Maybe I misjudged him. He really does care about you and you need to be with someone like that. A person who can love you so strongly and it'll do you good to get away for a while. You can get your head around things. If you love Krum you should go to him.' Ron ended his speech and watched Hermione with a passive expression his face.
'Ron . . . what did you just say?' Hermione couldn't believe she was hearing this. Ron really wanted her to go to Bulgaria. He was prepared to let her walk out of his life just like that. Was he even going to attempt to fight for her?
'The only thing I want is for you to be happy Hermione. Krum must have loads of money.' Ron gave a forced laugh, as if trying to make a joke out of things, but Hermione didn't see anything funny. 'Well, he is famous and he can look after you. You'd never need anything again. He can make you happy so I think you should go to Bulgaria and forget anything I've said tonight that would make you feel you have to stay for me.'
Hermione was so angry and hurt at the same time he didn't know whether to shout or cry. Angry because Ron was just going to let her go but hurt that he couldn't love her enough to make her stay with him. 'So that's what you wanted to say is it?' her eyes filled with tears but they refused to fall from her eyes. 'That's how this ends is it? As simple as that? You want me to go to Bulgaria and you'll probably never see me again.' Her face was now contorted in anger. 'They have some very good universities in Bulgaria and I might just decide to stay there. And what if I marry Krum and we have children? What if I get a job there and get too caught up in that to visit you? That will make me forget everything you have said to me tonight won't it? You do realise you'll never see me again.' Hermione knew she was going a bit over the top but this was serious! 'Yeah ok, I might visit you once a week. It won't be hard to afford transport over here when you're married to a famous Bulgarian Quidditch player.' She definitely wasn't implying Ron was poor but in all her confusion she was pouring her heard out. 'So I'll visit you once a week. But won't Viktor like me leaving most of the time so I'll visit once a month. But the children might need me at home so it'll be every other month. But my job might be demanding so I might visit once a year and then eventually I won't visit at all. I'll just be a memory to you Ron! Is that what you want? I'll just be that little swot who annoyed you at school, living as a memory in the back of your mind. We'll always wonder what would have happened if we'd just been that little bit braver and fought for what we wanted in life.'
Ron just stood there listening to her and his eyes had started to fill with tears; she'd never seen him cry before but she was too angry to notice. 'Well goodbye then Ron', Hermione sobbed finally letting the tears trail down her cheeks. 'It was nice knowing you, in fact knowing you was the best thing that ever happened to me.' With one last look at Ron, this time to remember how much she loved him she turned to walk away. How could he not love her enough to keep her there?
Ron's whole body was shaking and he turned his emotions over in his head. You idiot! He cried thinking to himself as she walked away, out his life. He tried so hard to deal with his inner turmoil. He wanted so badly for her to stay but how could he ever give her what Viktor could? She'd be much better off with him. He struggled hard with himself, before coming to a final decision.
'Hermione!' Ron cried after her, between tears. He ran up to her and took a hold of her hands. But couldn't hold them steadily enough as they were shaking so violently. She refused to look up at him. 'I'm so sorry!'
'What have you got to be sorry about?' Hermione asked savagely, finally glaring into his tear-filled eyes. 'You're not sorry if you're just prepared to let me walk away from you.'
'No I mean I'm sorry because I'm being selfish!' Ron said. Hermione frowned with confusion and looked deeply into his eyes for an explanation. 'Please forgive me', he pleaded, 'but I'm being so selfish. You probably won't want me after I tell you this but the reason I told you to go to Bulgaria was because you'd be much better off with Viktor. You can still go if you want but remember this; he'll never love you as much as I love you right now and he never will. I love you Hermione more than anyone else in this whole world! I'm selfish for telling you this because it'll make it harder for you to go. I don't want you to feel you need to stay because of what I said but I mean it. If you stay with me I'll spend the rest of my life doing my best to make you happy and I'll love you forever. But if you go you'll be loved and cared for by Krum and you'll have everything you've ever dreamed of.'
Ron was crying and letting his feelings come pouring out of him in a way Hermione had never seen him before. She could see is honesty and true feelings for her in his eyes and the way he was looking at her with shame for being 'selfish' as he called it and with love at the same time. He didn't want her to leave at all, he just wanted what was best for her.
Hermione suddenly burst into tears for being so nasty to him and let her head fall against his chest to hide her shame.
'All I've ever dreamed of is being here with you Ron', Hermione confessed. 'I love you and I have loved you ever since the start of this year. The best thing for me is to be with you. I don't love Viktor no matter how much he loves me. I want you Ron, you and no one else . . . ever.'
Getting all of her feelings off her chest was a huge relief. Ron was silent for a while before asking, 'Are you sure this is what you want?'
She nodded, lifting her head to look at him intently. Ron smiled warmly at her and she couldn't help but smile back with happiness. He put his arms around her and a huge warm feeling welled up inside him; he just wanted to pick her up and swing her around. 'Then stay here with me', he said, holding her close to him. She lifted her head up to him and he brought his lips to hers to kiss her passionately, trying to show her how much he loved her and how good he felt. She looped her arms around is neck and pulled their faces closer. She shyly kissed him, letting her tongue slide him slowly so Ron encouraged her, letting their tongues touch together intimately and deepening the kiss.
Nothing could be better than this . . .
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! I meant to make this chapter longer but I think if I did it would get boring! There was a lot of talking in that chapter but it had to be done. Now that this chapter's over the rest should be able to be written more easily. I know I mentioned there would be action and stuff but as I said I'll leave it especially for the next chapter which should be up this time next week. So look out for that and bear with me for a while. I've got a lot of school work to do so it takes me a while. Plus I'm a slow person and lazy. The next chapter will involve Ron and Hermione going out on a date, they run into trouble but Hermione doesn't feel like getting upset as she has other things on her mind . . . ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm giving too much away. Anyway, two more chapters to come. Well, one more and a kind of epiloguey thingy told in Ron's point of view. Hope you liked this chapter, now I gotta go and do (sigh) homework. Please review and tell me what you think! Thanks!