My Last Breath
By Meagan (a.k.a. Padfoot)
Hold on to me, love.
You know I can't stay long.
All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid.
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms?
My name is Lily Potter.
And I am about to die.
My life hasn't been long. I am twenty-four years old, yet I am being murdered by the one they call Lord Voldemort. It is too late for my husband, James. I heard his last words, his dying breath. I heard his call of, "I love you, Lily! I love you, Harry!" He, too, was young. We were to live a long life of happiness, us and our young son Harry.
Why is this happening? Why am I dying?
Peter was supposed to protect us. He was one of James's best friends, Wormtail, a Marauder. How could he have done this? We protected him from bullying Slytherins at school, and he still turns his back on us and lets us be killed.
What happened?
Holding my last breath.
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you,
Sweet rapture light,
It ends here tonight.
James. I love you more than anything. I never showed you, not until seventh year. We could have been together for so much longer, but I just couldn't show you. You wanted to love me, you wanted to be with me, but I refused for so long. I'm sorry, James. I don't know if you can hear me, wherever you are now, but I'm sorry.
I'm crying now. I haven't even the time to fall to my knees. I can only think my last thoughts at this whirlwind pace. I can only cry my last tears. I can only behold my last moments before death.
But I'm holding my last breath.
I'll miss the winter,
A world of fragile things.
Look for me in the white forest hiding in a hollow tree.
Come find me.
I know you hear me.
I can taste it in your tears.
Do you remember our first kiss, James? That winter that seems as if it were eons ago? I remember. We stood in the freshly fallen snow. No one had been in it before. No one was even awake. It was about midnight. We stood together under your invisibility cloak, shivering, for we both had our pajamas on. Yet, that cold night you held me close.
I looked up into your big, hazel eyes and could think of nothing else. And then your lips were on mine, and I knew then that I would never be cold again. How we laughed that night away. It was just you and me, playing hide and seek on the fringe of the silent Forbidden Forest. No one ever knew. You didn't even tell Sirius.
Now I feel cold. You are gone, and without you I am nothing.
But I know you can hear me. My heart bleeds and somehow I feel yours bleeding with it. Somehow, you are with me. Somehow, I am not alone.
Somehow, I know I will not die alone.
Holding my last breath.
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you,
Sweet rapture light,
It ends here tonight.
What will happen to Harry? He's so young. I can't bear the thought of dying on him. He will grow up without knowing who his mother was. He will not know James. He won't remember his life with us, that short period of his life that will later seem unreal.
And yet as I think of this, will he live? Will he survive this curse of death? Surely he won't. Love is the strongest counter curse to death, the only one.
I can't tell you this now, Harry, and if I could you wouldn't understand. I love you more than anything. You are my angel. You are my only. My heart was reserved for two, you and your father. I want to see you grow into the handsome young man you will become. I want to love you as only a mother could love.
I want to be there for you when you're sad and you need someone to hold you. I want to be there for you when you fall and scrape your knee and the only way for it to heal is for me to hug you and kiss it. I want to be there for you when everything seems wrong.
But no matter how much I want this, I cannot have it.
Closing your eyes to disappear,
You pray your dreams will leave you here.
But still you wait to know the truth:
No one's there!
My eyes are closing. For no longer can I face this, my death. Green death is just before me. I am crying, crying for all those who loved me.
No one is here to save me. No longer can I avoid it. I am alone.
James cannot save me. My beloved husband has perished beneath the hand of Lord Voldemort. He will never awaken to see tomorrow's dawn. He will not see his son grow. He will not see my death.
Sirius cannot save me. He was like my kid brother, almost always joking, almost always happy. When I was feeling down, he was always there to lift me back up. He and James were inseparable, and he accepted me when James announced that we were to be married. He didn't feel replaced, and for that I want to thank him. And yet, for all his loyalty, like the Animagus dog he is, he will be blamed for our deaths. We told no one else of the switch. He will be punished for the crime he has not committed.
Peter cannot save me. He has betrayed me; he has sentenced me to death. He has sentenced Harry to life as an orphan, to life without a mother's love. He has murdered James. He has left Sirius the blame. He has left Remus alone. He has split the Marauders forever.
Remus cannot save me. For all his kindness, for all his intelligence, for all his friendship, he cannot. He was always so kind to me. He has been plagued with being half-human, a werewolf, and yet he is the most humane person I have ever known. He doesn't deserve this. He will be alone, without a friend in the world, to mourn our deaths. No one else has ever befriended him because of something he has not chosen to be.
I cannot see the future, but I know that a long life lies ahead for you, Remus. You have always hungered for friendship, but you have gotten none but ours. You will always be lonely now. But be strong, my wolf. Be strong. I will be with you every moment if you do not forget me and let me die.
Please don't let me die.
Say goodnight.
Don't be afraid.
Calling me, calling me,
As
You
Fade
To
Black…
My end has come. I can feel my soul being torn from my body. And it hurts! Oh, it hurts more than the Crucious Curse ever could! My last breath is exploding from my mouth. I am screaming. Screaming. Screaming.
But through my pain, I hear Harry crying. He is alive! He is alive! He will live, and where I shall not, he will!
I can feel the house quaking under my feet. I am falling now. Falling into death's open arms. Falling. Falling. Falling.
I can hear Voldemort screaming above my own. He, too, is falling. Falling. Falling.
Darkness so complete has enveloped me. And as look up, I see James. He is waiting for me. I run to him and he holds me. He holds me tight as darkness swallows us both. I am warm again, but slowly I am fading. My mind is fading. My consciousness is fading. My soul is fading.
Fading…
Fading…
Fading…
To black.
I love you, Harry.
"If only, if only," The woodpecker sighs,
"The bark on the tree was just a bit softer."
While the wolf waits below, hungry and lonely,
He cries to the moo-oo-oon,
"If only, if only."
If only, If only, the moon speaks no reply;
Reflecting the sun and all that's gone by.
Be strong my weary wolf, turn around boldly,
Fly high, my baby bird,
My angel, my only.
-Louis Sachar
A/N: BWAAAAAAAAAH! Sadness! I know, I know, I've all ready written one about Lily's death, but this a kind of update to it. I'm replacing My Little Angel in the Wonderful Life Quartet for this, My Last Breath. It seems more fitting. I hope you liked it. And if you liked this, be sure to read Wonderful, I am the Flame, Memories, and Whisper. Thanks!!