She Must Be Beautiful
By Andraste
Summary: A/U. Arwen was lying on her side, her head resting on her outstretched arm. She couldn't cry anymore, all her tears were spent. How long she had been lying there she did not know, but she was numb now, physically and emotionally. The only sentiments she was aware of were Aragorn's and they only made her weaker with doubt.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters as they are the spawn of the wonderful mind of Prof. Tolkien, nor do I own the lyrics of the song "She Must Be Beautiful", the song by which this piece was inspired. Those rights belong to Ms. Janis Ian and her amazing talents.
Pairings: Aragorn/ Éowyn, one- sided Arwen/ Aragorn.
Bold italics represent telepathic dialogue or just Galadriel's voice.
Arwen stood out on the bridge, concealed in the forests outside of the Last Homely House. The cold, winter wind picked up her dress and blew it around her, her hair being taken up across her face, hiding the doubt that she held in her eyes. This bridge held many memories and all she needed to do was unlock the deeps of her mind and she would be taken back to happier times; times with her mother, her brothers, her father, Aragorn. It was here that she sacrificed her immortality, her very life, so that she and Aragorn could share a small piece of time. As romantics would say, they had true love. Despite this, Arwen felt unsure. There was a large possibility that he would not return, but there were also chances that he would simply not return to her. She and Aragorn had developed an immortal bond, being able to sense each other's slightest emotions, sensitive to each other's thoughts. It was this power, this curse, which enabled her to feel such doubt about their "true love". Her heart was shattering as she felt his choosing, and it was not her. It was as she had feared. He had met another that had stolen his heart, stolen Arwen's immortality. She smiled humourlessly as she remember the last time she had stood on this bridge…
"Renich i lú i erui govannem?"
"Nauthannen i ned ôl reniannen."
"Gwenwin in enninath. Ú-'arnech in naeth i si celich. Renech i beth i pennen?"
"You said you'd bind yourself to me, forsaking the immortal life of your people."
Not just the immortal life of her people, she had forsaken her father, her family. All of this because she was so sure that she could make their love work, but it could never be. They were too different even though they shared a bond stronger than the trials of time. She had spent so many days just being with him, but that obviously meant nothing.
"And to that I hold. I would rather share one lifetime with you, than face all the Ages of this world alone. I choose a mortal life."
"You cannot give me this."
"It is mine to give to whom I will. Like my heart…"
Her heart. Even as she stood there on the bridge it was breaking, jagged pieces piercing into her stomach, making her feel sick at the very thought. She swallowed. No, I am being paranoid. He told me he loved me, I felt it. It is not possible for this to be naught… Arwen repeated this to herself, driving her doubt into the darkest corners of her mind. With a sigh of forced relief, she walked away from the bridge. Their bridge.
Arwen wandered through the gardens a little while longer, finally resting to sit on a bench that was once shaded by the foliage of a peach tree. She found herself repeating to herself the words that had calmed her only hours before. This was tearing her apart, not knowing. It was almost easier to imagine the scenario of Aragorn being dead than with someone else because at least their love would always live on, but if he had found someone else, their love would die with Arwen. Even as she sat she felt his heart drifting from her own, their bond slowly being severed. He told me he loved me, I felt it. It is not possible for this to be naught…
"He told me he loved me, I felt it. It is not possible for this to be naught…" she said aloud, as though that would ensure the meaning of the words. Her voice broke, revealing how weak she really felt. Tears slipped out of her dark eyes and down onto her clenched fists. She leaned onto her knees, her reassurance echoing in her head, and sobbed.
Elrond watched his daughter wander by, eyes distant, gazing out at Aragorn, wherever he may be. Her hand rested upon her breast, where her necklace once hung. Leaning heavily upon the window pane, Elrond felt tears threatening to spill over his eyes. This was his fault. He had told Arwen holding onto her love for Aragorn was futile. Not until now did he realize how much their love also meant to him. He really couldn't ask for anyone better for his only daughter. His Evenstar.
"Elrond?"
"Forgive me, hiril nîn. I cannot seem to concentrate."
"How is she?"
"She's…" Elrond thought desperately for words that wouldn't reveal the wretched truth, but failed. "She's dying. I can feel it- all her pain, her doubts, I share it all yet there is naught that I can do for her!" he replied, his inner voice crackling just a horribly as if he had spoken it aloud. "I should never have doubted him, it has only caused her to do so as well… yet I cannot help believing that I did not doubt wrongly. " When Galadriel did not reply immediately, Elrond knew. He almost completely collapsed as he realized the truth. "He has found another, hasn't he?" He couldn't help but think to himself, She must be beautiful to have stolen him from my daughter.
"He has," Galadriel replied in such a soft voice it was almost impossible to tell that it was the voice of the reasonable queen she was. "But he is confused, Elrond. He has not yet chosen. Arwen will know when he has for she shares the same bond as you and Celebrían did. Be patient."
Elrond nodded, convincing himself to wait and not interfere.
"Ada?"
He turned back to his sons, who stood some steps behind him, waiting for him to tell them what Galadriel had said. He swallowed and gave them the disquieting news. "The people of Rohan lost many of their warriors in the battle of Helm's Deep, a war they could not avoid. Aragorn will not succumb to this. Galadriel believes that he will lead all the soldiers remaining in a final ride against Sauron. The dispatch you are taking will be an aid, but only time will tell how much of one."
"We will make sure that our forces aid those of Men. We will not fail you, Ada," Elladen said, holding his head up proudly. He dipped into a bow and Elrohir did the same.
Elrond felt immense pride for his sons, and a shadow of fear. He crossed the room and grasped their shoulders. "Be careful. I could not bear to lose you."
"Do not worry, Ada. We will return," Elrohir said. He and his twin exchanged glances and turned to leave.
"Elladen, Elrohir," Elrond called seconds before they disappeared into the corridor. "I need you to send a letter when you arrive there. I wish to know of their military conditions and how Aragorn and Legolas fare."
"Of course," they both replied. They bowed again then continued through the hall.
"Valar, protect them," Elrond breathed.
And to that I hold. I would rather share one lifetime with you, than face all the Ages of this world alone. I choose a mortal life…
These words haunted Aragorn's mind. He heard them whenever he thought of Éowyn, as though they were a constant reminder of his promise. All else in his mind was chaos- confusion, fatigue, grief, fear, love, pain. His hand moved to the pendant he wore around his neck and he knew that Arwen shared all his emotions. When he dreamed, she was always there to reassure him, but that's all she was, a dream. Éowyn was really there, he could touch her and knew that she wouldn't disappear if he opened his eyes.
"Aragorn," Legolas said, entering the room. He had meant to say that the Elven forces were less than two leagues away, but instead he said, "What's wrong?"
"What?" Aragorn asked, coming out of his thoughts.
"You look bewildered, mellon nîn. Did I startle you?"
"No, it's not you. It's… this is all just very overwhelming."
"You can calm down. Your brothers lead a battalion Elves two leagues away from here."
The relief that washed upon his heart that moment nearly brought tears to his eyes. "Thank you for informing me. Legolas, do you ever think that, perhaps…" he began, his voice halting as he carefully chose his words.
"Perhaps what?"
"Do you think that my father was right? Perhaps I should allow Arwen to sail across to the Undying Lands?"
Legolas thought about this, leaning against the doorframe. "If you allowed Arwen to sail away with the kind of love you share, you would be a fool. Not everyone experiences true love, the least you could do is cherish yours. Arwen is sacrificing her very life for your love and I know that she is very keen on emotions. She would never leave you on her own accord. Why do you ask?"
"I think I love Éowyn," he said bluntly.
"What?"
"Éowyn… I think that I love her," he said, bowing his head, unable to look into Legolas' eyes.
"What…? How…?" He tried to find the words to piece together the confusion he was experiencing. "Aragorn, you and Arwen are-"
"We're what?"
"You're in love."
"If our love was as strong as everyone believes it to be then I wouldn't be having these doubts! I love Arwen, but I am not right for her. When the troops arrive I will send a letter informing her of this."
"A letter? You cannot think to be so cowardice as to admit your… infidelity on a piece of parchment! She loves you, Aragorn! This will kill her! Why can you not see?" Legolas demanded, anger rising in his voice.
"I see Éowyn, that's what I see! Arwen was a dream."
"She is waiting hundred of leagues away day after endless day, she is defying her father and her people, she's sacrificed everything she holds close to her heart for you, Aragorn! How can you think to throw it back at her like it's naught more than a dirty rag?"
"Legolas, I understand the pain-"
"You understand nothing! Don't even attempt to comprehend what it is like to be alive for hundreds of thousands of years, watching people you love just die and having to live with that pain forever, because you and your race will never understand!" Legolas marched out in a rage, leaving Aragorn perhaps just as angry, but also just as guilty.
As Legolas stormed down the hallway, he narrowly avoided a collision with Éowyn.
"Sorry," she apologized meekly.
Legolas gave her a very dark look and continued down the hall. He passed Éomer and Théoden as well, though he barely acknowledged them. The two men exchanged puzzled expressions.
"What do you suppose happened?" Théoden asked. "It's not like him to have such strong emotions."
Éomer nodded. "Perhaps Aragorn knows. I need to ask him about the Elven troops, anyway."
"What?" Éomer asked after having Aragorn explain what exactly was going on.
"I can't explain it any more than that…it's just so…"
"You love my baby sister?"
"Yes."
"But you also love an Elf-maiden?"
He nodded.
"And that's why Legolas is so upset? Because you don't know who you love?"
"Somewhat."
"It would be a lot more helpful if you answered in sentences."
"Sorry." He opened his mouth to vaguely explain, but there was a sudden cry of a horn, alerting them of the Elven troops arrival.
"I have to go out a greet them," Éomer said.
Aragorn nodded once again, but did not raise his eyes to watch the rider leave. He knew that Éomer was only trying to help by continually pushing him to explain his emotions a put them in the open instead of onto his chest, but he could only ever talk like that with Legolas, who was exceedingly angry with him at the moment. He's right, you'll never understand. You need to decide what's best for you and Arwen as two different people. Arwen. Éowyn. And to that I hold. I would rather share one lifetime with you, than face all the Ages of this world alone. I choose a mortal life… Dammit!
"Aragorn?" Éowyn asked, quietly knocking on the door. "Are you all right?"
Aragorn looked up at her and truly looked at her for who and what she was. She was beautiful, she was determined, she was caring… she was mortal and she wasn't Arwen.
"Suilad!" Elrohir proclaimed, leaping off his horse to greet Legolas. "Such harsh conditions seem to have taken a toll on you, mellon nîn. You look tired and pale. Are you well?"
"I need to talk to you," he said solemnly, looking Elrohir directly in the eyes. "Now. It's urgent."
Elrohir watched him as he lead him to somewhere solitary. He was shaking. What's happened? He also noticed how fearful and angry the prince's eyes were. "Legolas, what's going on?" Elrohir demanded, grabbing his companion's shoulder, halting him. "Are you sure you're all right?"
"I'm fine, but… Aragorn…"
"Did something happen? Is he…" he asked, suddenly feeling sick with possibilities.
"No, no, he's alive. Elrohir, he's…" The words were only expelled with much effort. "He loves Éowyn."
"Wha… what! What about Arwen? She's ill with waiting. She hasn't spoken a word in… Valar, she must know. How did you…?"
"He told me."
"So, what? That's it? He's just going to leave my sister to die!"
"Elrohir, he needs some time to make sense of everything," Legolas said, unsure of why he was defending Aragorn. Elrohir did not hear him as he ran up to the hall, blinded and deafened by fury. It took all his will to walk through the corridors rather than sprint. He knocked on the large wooden door, but did not wait for an answer. Immediately after throwing the door open he became numb with shock. "My Gods…"
Éowyn crossed the room until she was standing an inch away from the edge of the desk. He was standing now, as was the custom for the men to stand when a woman stood. "I-" she cleared her throat- "I was wondering if you needed anything. You haven't eaten in a while and I was getting worried. Are you feeling ill or anything?" She waited for him to reply, but all he did was stare. She suddenly forgot what she was saying and stared back. His eyes are so deep… She leaned forward slowly, swallowing hard, and before she could comprehend what was happening, she was kissing him. There was a knock on the door, but it sounded very distant, lost in the tumult of her thoughts. It wasn't until she heard a voice that she pulled away, feeling her face redden immensely. Aragorn pulled away as well and looked to the door and the enterer.
"You should go," he whispered to her, though he did not give her his eyes.
She obeyed and slipped out of the room, feeling the same hateful aura from the unfamiliar Elf as she had from Legolas. Tears began to stream down her cheeks as she ran down the corridor to her bedchambers.
"Elrohir-" Aragorn started, though he couldn't think of any explanation that would suffice.
The son of Elrond said nothing, but the stare he was giving Aragorn was enough to interrupt him. Immortal hatred was burning in his brown eyes. He shook his head and turned, his cloak sweeping up behind him.
"Elrohir!" Aragorn called after him. He fell back into his chair. "Dammit…"
Arwen was lying on her side, her head resting on her outstretched arm. She couldn't cry anymore, all her tears were spent. How long she had been lying there she did not know, but she was numb now, physically and emotionally. The only sentiments she was aware of were Aragorn's and they only made her weaker with doubt.
Her dress was heavy with the rain water, pushing on her knees, her hips, her ribs, her shoulders, and her wrists. She couldn't find the strength or will to return indoors where it was dry and warm.
"Arwen?" came a sad voice from behind her.
The tears renewed themselves and she felt them prickling behind her eyes. The speaker sat behind her on the bench. Slender fingers reached out at brushed away her tears. She turned her head and looked up into her father's eyes. "Ada…" she whispered, her voice trembling horribly. She saw his tears and that only encouraged her urge to cry. With shaking fingers she grasped his hand and smiled sadly. With an effortless pull, Elrond lifted his daughter to his chest as she began to sob, her whole body twitching with every ragged breath. Her rubbed her back, trying to soothe her. When she finally was calm enough to speak, she said, "I'm so sorry, Ada."
"No, don't be. I should be apologizing. I should never have doubted you, or him. I've caused you pain, and I cannot bear to see you enduring it. Please forgive me." She was silent. She was still. "Arwen?" He took her shoulders and held her away from him so that he could see her. Her eyes were wide with terror, her fingers grasped her chest. She fell back onto the bench, writhing in agony as though thousands of blunt knives were being stabbed into her. Breath left her lungs and the world began to dim.
"Ada!" she cried, reaching out for his hand. She grasped it, squeezing it as though that would make her pain subside. Arwen twisted again against another pain.
"Arwen, no! Stay with me. Don't give in to the pain! Baby, please!"
He has chosen…
"No! Fight it!"
Elrond, you cannot do anything for her now…
"Arwen, don't give in! I need you! Please!"
Arwen thrashed on the bench, screaming and sobbing in pain. Knives stabbed repeatedly into her heart, breaking it into tiny shards. He didn't love her. There was someone who was more loving, more beautiful, more right for him. She emitted a scream that pierced into Elrond's very soul and he knew her pain.
"Arwen, baby, don't go!"
It was too late. She was gone. The Halls of Mandos had accepted her. Her hand was limp in his own. In less than a moment he had lost his only daughter all because of love. Love could not save her, love destroyed her. And again Elrond thought, as he stared at his daughter's gorgeous face, whoever she is, she must be beautiful to have stolen something so precious as true love.
She must be beautiful
So beautiful
To have stolen the wind from my sails…
~Vanwa