HELLO AGAIN! What a beautiful day it is! Inspiration hit ZANNE like a ton
of bricks. It hurt too.. So anyway, before we get on with the story, I want
to do my lonely 2 shout outs.
Scrawler: Thanks for reviewing! I hope you update your fics soon! Yes. Capitalizing is good. I think I'd die if I didn't have the caps lock button on my keyboard.
Golden-Tuna: Hmmmm.. What would ZANNE do for a Klondike Bar you ask? Well, let's just say that it wouldn't be pretty.. And remember to put all your valuables in the furnace to keep them safe and don't worry, mommy killed him! (it's called an inside joke people! get used to it)
Ok, now is the part were I put the disclaimer in that I forgot to do in all the other chapters. Let's make it interesting and turn it into a song!
I don't own I don't own I don't oooowwwn X-Men Evolutiooooon! If I did If I did If I diiiiiiddd I'd be richhhhhh! Oh so do not sue the ZANNE because she doesn't ow ow own X-MEN EVOLUTIOOOONNN! Yeah
Wasn't that fun?
And do you all remember how Lance went to help Kitty fight Mags in "Ascension 2" even though he had been rude to her in "Ascension 1". Do you remember when I asked Lance what he would do for a Klondike Bar he said that he would go fight Magneto with Kitty? Well he did it! He did it for a Klondike Bar! You know it makes sense!
Anyway, this story is mainly about Kurt, Rogue, and Mystique. Did any of you notice that really evil look that Mystique got on her face after Rogue and Kurt blew her off in "Ascension 2"? I sure did! Me thinks she's a yearnin' for some REVENGE! This takes place AFTER the 4th season in case you didn't catch on yet. So here we go! ENJOY!!
________________________________________________________________
Don't tell ME to "save it", you little punks!
One fine day, a day like any other day, Rogue and Kurt were lounging around the mansion.
"Are you as bored as I am?" Rogue asked Kurt.
"I don't know. How bored are you?"
"Pretty freakin' bored," answered Rogue, "What do you think we should do?"
"Why are you asking me? If I knew I would have said it already! Like if I think we should drive down to Disney World, I would have said 'Let's drive down to Disney Word'. YESH!" said Kurt.
"THAT'S IT!" yelled Rogue so loud that Kurt fell off the chandelier.
"Ouch!" said Kurt as he rubbed his poor little head, "What's it?"
"We can go to Disney World! I've never been there before!"
"Never been to Disney World? Oh you poor deprived child! Go pack NOW!" yelled Kurt as he teleported away.
Rogue could hardly suppress her pure joy as she ran upstairs to pack her bags. She was going to Disney World! HURRAY!
So about 20 odd minutes later, Kurt and Rogue met downstairs. They both had their suitcases and were ready to go to DISNEY WORLD!
"Wait a minute." Kurt said, looking around, "Where is everybody?"
"I don't know. Do you think they're out side or something?"
"Maybe." said Kurt. So he teleported outside and saw... nothing!
"Nobody's out there!"
"Is that a problem?" asked Rogue.
Kurt thought about it for a minute. "NO!"
"Maybe they're all just out somewhere." Rouge thought. And indeed, they WERE out somewhere. The whole mansion had gone to the mall because the Professor had worn all the heels out of his socks and needed new ones. So since he had announced that he needed new socks in the middle the room where everyone except Kurt and Rogue had been standing in, they all decided to take him to the mall! What good students they are!
"So.. How the hell are we going to get to Orlando?" Rogue asked.
"We could take the X-Jet.. But then we'd get killed by Logan. We could take the X-Van.. But then we'd get killed by Logan again. We could take Jean's SUV!" suggested Kurt.
"But then won't we get killed by Jean?" said Rogue, "Not that I CARE about Jean or anything.."
"Well, Jean doesn't have metal claws now does she?" Kurt said connivingly.
"No", thought Rogue, "I guess she doesn't!"
"Then let's go!" yelled Kurt and they both ran towards the garage.
Little did they know, the lady bug on the wall had been watching them the whole time. Said lady bug had heard the whole thing and knew of their plans. So said lady bud decided to hitch a ride to Disney World..
When Kurt and Rogue reached the garage, they were pleasantly surprised that Jean had left her keys in the ignition!
"Don't you think this is a little too easy?" Rogue asked Kurt.
"Naw, Jean always leaves her keys in the car. She thinks that no one would ever even DREAM of stealing anything from her!"
"Hurumf!" said Rogue, "Stupid Jean. That's why I keep all MY valuables in the furnace!"
"You do that too? It must be that beautiful arm linking bond we have between us!"
"Just get in the car." Rogue said as she pushed Kurt into the SUV and then threw their suitcases in the back.
"Are we ready?" Kurt asked Rogue.
"Yes."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!"
"Do you have to go to the bathroom?"
"NO! Now drive damn you!"
"Fine, you don't have to be so mean to me!" Kurt said as he wiped away a tear.
So he started the car and pulled out of the garage and out of the Institute's gates.
"Is there a map in this stupid car?" asked Kurt.
"Hold on, let me check." So Rogue did indeed check and she found a map in the glove compartment.
"Here you go!" she said as she handed it to Kurt.
"Rogue, this is a map of Texas. Do you remember where Disney World is?"
"Uhhhhhh.. Florida?"
"YES! So why do we need a freakin' map of TEXAS?!!" screamed Kurt.
"Well why don't you ask stupid Jean! It's her car!"
"Oh yeah. Look for another map will you? I need to concentrate." Kurt said.
"What would you possibly need to concentrate on?"
"It's a little thing I like to call 'driving without getting killed in an accident'!"
"FINE! I'll look for your stupid map! But I'm not going to like it!" said Rogue as she opened the glove compartment again.
"Kurt?"
"Yes Rogue?"
"Why do you think they call these 'glove compartments'?"
"Hmmmm. Kurt pondered, "Maybe that's where people would keep their gloves while they were driving."
"Maybe." thought Rogue, "Wait, what was I doing again? Oh right, maps." So Rogue looked in the glove compartment again but there were no other maps!
"There aren't any more maps Kurt!" yelled Rogue, "What are we going to do now?"
"Fret not mein shwester! (I have idea if I spelled that right) For my super keen senses will lead us there!"
"What super keen senses?" asked Rogue.
"The ones that I had in the comics! Duh!"
"Okay..."
So they drove and drove and drove AND DROVE until they were both hungry and stopped at a diner somewhere in Delaware.
"Rogue, I just remembered something." Kurt said suddenly.
"What's that?"
"We have no money at all."
"Oh crap.."
"How are we going to eat and pay for gas and a motel room and pay for Disney World?" Kurt started to panic.
But just then, he looked in the back seat and saw a little drawer in the upholstery.
"What's that?" he asked.
"I don't know! Go look in it!"
"But who knows what Jean could be hiding in there?!!"
"It can't be any scarier than you. LOOK IN IT!" yelled Rogue.
"Fine! I will! Just to see the look on your face!"
So Kurt crawled into the back seat and prepared to open the mystery drawer.
"1, 2, 3.!" Kurt opened the drawer. Then he fainted.
"KURT!" screamed Rogue. So she climbed into the backseat and looked in the drawer. IT WAS FULL OF MONEY! The drawer was packed full of hundreds of dollars!
"Kurt! KURT! Wake up! Our problems are over!!!" yelled Rogue.
When nothing happened, she grabbed a wad of 20s and wacked him on the head with it.
"What? What happened?" He asked groggily.
"LOOK!" yelled Rogue, "We're rich!"
So Kurt looked into the little drawer and jumped for joy! Well, he kind of bounced for joy since it was a little cramped in the back seat.
"What do you think Jean is doing with all this money?" asked Kurt.
"Who care about stupid Jean? All that matters is we have money!"
"YEAH! So let's go eat!"
So they went into the diner and they both got lobster to celebrate their new found fortune. But since it was DINER lobster, they were sure to get sick later, but they didn't care! As long as it was only Jean's money, they would spend it on anything!
"Now all we have to do is find somewhere to spend the night!" announced Kurt after they had finished eating and gotten back into the car.
"I think I saw a billboard for someplace called the Lantern Inn a while back. We could stay there." said Rogue.
"Alright! Where is it?"
"How should I know?
"Sigh!" Kurt sighed and started to drive.
So they drove strait and after about 5 minutes they saw the Lantern Inn! YIPPEE!
"What did I tell you?" Rogue scoffed.
"Let's just see if they have a vacancy first before you get all 'I told you so' on my ass, OK?" said Kurt as they pulled into the little parking lot.
The motel had a small lobby that was empty except for a lady with crimped blond hair and a sparkly pink dress who was standing behind the counter with a creepy smile on her face.
"How may I help you?" she asked.
"Um yeah. Do you have a room available for tonight?" Kurt asked.
"Of course we do! That's why we're called the Lantern Inn!" the lady then disappeared behind the counter to presumably find the keys to a room.
"What was that supposed to mean?" whispered Rogue.
Kurt just shrugged his shoulders and then the smiley lady appeared again.
"Here you are, room number 13! Enjoy your stay!"
"Number 13?" asked Kurt as he looked at the key nervously.
"Oh yes. But don't worry, there are only 12 rooms! We decided to skip 7 because we now what an unlucky number it is!" the smiley lady said.
"And may I ask who 'we' is?" Rogue.. asked.
"'We' as in 'we' are the champions and 'we' as in we like to run motels!" she replied. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"
"No, that's ok, we're fine!" Kurt took the key, "Come on Rogue."
They then left the lobby and went outside to find room 13. Mwah ha haaa!
"Here it is," said Kurt as they found room 13 on the very end of the strip of rooms, "What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing. I just don't trust that weird lady in there. I got bad vibes from her!"
"You're way too paranoid!" Kurt laughed even though it wasn't funny as they got their luggage out of the SUV and went in to their room. There were of course 2 beds in the room. Even though it's not REALLY incest
Little did they know that the lady with the blond hair and sparkly dress was watching them out of the little lobby window the whole time. She smiled evily and began to change. Her blond crimpy hair turned bright red and her skin became blue and her eyes turned yellow. It was not a lady with blond crimped hair in a sparkly pink dress at all, it was MYSTIQUE!
"Mwa ha haaaa!" she laughed, "My evil plan is working. They will sleep peacefully tonight, but by tomorrow they will wish that were dead! They'll regret blowing me off!!!" (She's talking about what Kurt and Rogue said to her in "Ascension 2" Mystique had said "Rogue, Kurt? I just wanted to let you know that the things I did, all the things I did, were because..." but then Kurt cut her off and said "Save it Mystique!" and then Rogue said "Even you don't believe your excuses so just leave us alone!" and then they teleported away. There you go, I hope that you're not too confused.)
Just the thought of that made her bubble with anger inside.
"I'll get my revenge on those little punks! Nobody rejects Mystique, NOBODY!"
She went back behind the desk and looked down at the REAL lady with crimped blond hair and sparkly pink dress who was tied up and gagged along with the rest of the motel staff.
"And nobody is going to stop me!" she yelled as lightening flashed and thunder crashed in the back round.
"Now it is time to prepare for phase 2.."
"Excuse me? Do you have any available rooms?" Mystique turned around startled to see none other than.. Charlie Brown!
"Me and my dog need a room to stay in tonight maam," he repeated.
So Mystique punted him out the door and went back to her scheming in peace.
________________________________________________________________
Kurt and Rogue awoke bright and early the next day so they could get a head start on driving. So they left their room and got into the SUV and started to drive.
"Do you have any idea where we are going?" Rogue asked Kurt.
"I told you before! My super keen directiony sense will lead us right to Disney World!"
"Well, I think we're lost!"
"WE ARE NOT!" yelled Kurt looking all offended, "Ummmm, what state are we in again?"
"I think we're in Maryland somewhere.."
"Oh THAT was helpful!"
"Don't patronize me blue boy 'cause I'll take you out!"
"I'd like to see you try, Vampira!"
"Oh I bet you would!"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah?"
"YEAH!"
"GRRRRRR!" growled Rogue.
They both shut up and just drove in silence for about an hour.
"I'm sorry Rogue," said Kurt.
"I'm sorry too!" said Rogue, "Can I get a hug? Please?"
So Kurt let go of the wheel and hugged his sister.
"KURT, THE ROAD!" screamed Rogue.
He looked up just in time to see a little dog run out into the middle of the road!
"AAHHHHHH!" he yelled as he swerved just in time to avoid hitting it. But he swerved so much that the car went off the road and down the hill towards the river. The little dog just walked away, cackling evily.
"HOLY CRAP!" screamed Rogue as she put her hands over her eyes.
Kurt, thinking quickly, teleported them both just as the car was falling into the water. They reappeared on the edge of the cliff and just stared as Jean's precious SUV sunk like a stone.
The both just stared at it as it sank deeper and deeper and deeper until it was totally gone.
"Now what are we going to do?" yelled Rogue, "We have no money, no car, and we are stranded in Maryland!" she started to hyperventilate so Kurt pulled a brown paper bag out of his pocket and let Rogue breath into it.
While she was trying to catch her breath, Kurt looked around. They were, standing on a cliff, surrounded by nothing but trees and fields.
"This really sucks."
"Ya think??!!!" screamed Rogue, "This is all your fault you know! If you had just kept your eyes on the road.."
"You wanted a hug! I can't just deny my big sister a hug! That's just plain MEAN!"
"Well look where it got us!"
"I did look and maybe instead of shouting and yelling at each other we should try to figure out where we are!" yelled Kurt.
"Fine," said Rogue.
"Fine," said Kurt.
"Fine!"
"Fine!!!"
"FINE!"
"FINE!!!!!"
"Are you finished?" asked Kurt.
"Yes," said Rogue, "Yes I am."
"Good! First, we need to get off this cliff."
So Kurt teleported them off the cliff and back on to the side of the road.
"Do you have a cell phone?" he asked Rogue.
"No."
"What do you mean 'no'? How can you NOT have a cell phone in this day and age?!!" Kurt yelled.
"Well you don't have one either!" Rogue pointed out.
"My fingers are too big for the buttons! I don't have anyone to call anyway!"
"Ok, we'll just have to walk and find the nearest pay phone. Then we can call the Institute," Rogue said, "They must have realized that we are gone by now!"
"Maybe we should have left a note." thought Kurt.
"Come on, let's go." said Rogue.
They began to walk down the road even though they had no idea where they were going.
After they had been walking for about a half hour, a sea gull flew over them and crapped on Kurt's image inducer.
"Damn you bird!" Kurt yelled to it as it flew away laughing.
He looked down at the nasty inducer and his hologram began to flicker and eventually it died, exposing his true blue form to the world!
"JUST great!" he yelled as he threw his hands in the air, "Why does this always happen to me? WHY??!!!"
"At least there are no cars on this road to see you," said Rogue.
"You're not helping!"
So they continued walking and walking and WALKING until they finally saw a little gas station.
"Wait here," Rogue told Kurt.
"No way! What if you get into trouble?"
"I can take care of myself thank you very much!" and with that, she left Kurt hiding in the bushes and walked over to the little station.
"HELLO?" she yelled. "Is there anybody here?"
Rogue walked around the pumps and saw no one so she went into the little shop thing. There was a little man behind the counter with oily overalls on who said, "Can I help you young lady?"
"Maybe, do you have a phone I can use?" said Rogue.
"It's outside by the door," he said.
"Can I borrow a quarter?"
"Sure, but be careful with it. It's got George Washington on it!" the little man said as he handed Rogue a quarter.
"Thanks.."
Rogue walked outside to the phone and saw that Kurt was pressing himself flat against the wall next to it.
"Was there anyone in there?" he asked.
"Yeah, and he gave me a quarter too!"
"So call the Institute!"
"Oh, what number should I use?" she asked him.
"What are you talking about?"
"You know, should we use 1-800-COLLECT or 1-800-CALLATT?"
"Does it really matter?"
"YES! We already stole a car even though it was stupid Jean's, and we should at least be considerate enough not to jack up the phone bill!"
"FINE! Who's better, Carrot Top or Alf?"
"Definitely Alf!"
"Well there you go!" said Kurt like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Dial 1-800 COLLECT!"
"You watch too much TV, Kurt." said Rogue as she dialed the number.
But as soon as she was finished punching in numbers, instead of hearing the dial tone, a cloud of sleepy gas came pouring out of the receiver.
"What the.."
But it was too late. They both fell down fast asleep. The little old man with the oily overalls came out of the shop and changed into Mystique. Bet you didn't see that one coming did you?
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again," said Mystique, "Mwah ha haaaaa!"
So she grabbed both Rogue and Kurt's feet and began to drag them away.. ________________________________________________________________
"uuuhhhhggg." Kurt groaned, "What happened?"
When he finally regained his senses, he realized that he was hanging upside down over a huge cauldron of bubbling liquid in some kind of old warehouse. He looked to his right and saw that Rogue was also hanging, though she was still unconscious.
"Did you sleep well?" said a way too familiar voice from below.
"Who's there?" he yelled.
"What's wrong Kurt? Don't cha ya know me?"
He looked down to see that standing there with a huge crazy smile on her face was MYSTIQUE!
"Oh no, NOT YOU!" he groaned.
Just then, Rogue woke up, looked around, and screamed, "What in blue blazes is going on around here? And why am I upside down?"
"Good morning Rogue," said Mystique, "So glad you could join us."
"NNNOOOOO!!!!" Rogue screamed.
"YYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSS!!!!!" Mystique screamed back.
"Can you just stop screaming and tell us just exactly WHY we are hanging upside down?" Kurt yelled at them both.
"I thought you would never ask.." Mystique said evily. "I tried to be nice. I tried to give you the true motives behind my evil deeds and you totally BLEW ME OFF! You can't expect me NOT to get revenge now do you? I'm just that way! So when I heard of your little vacation plans, I decided to come along and do evil things to you."
"But why are we hanging over this big thing of bubbling stuff?" Rogue asked.
"Because this way I can be more evil! All evil villains hang their prey over a huge cauldron of something hot and bubbly!"
"She's got a point." said Kurt.
"What exactly are we hanging over?" Rogue asked Mystique.
"Kitty's chicken noodle soup! Mwa ha haaaaa!"
"NOOOOOO!" screamed Kurt and Rogue as they madly tried to escape their bindings.
"That's right! Squirm my children, SQUIRM!"
"Wait a minute, I can teleport!" said Kurt.
So he teleported out of his bindings and got Rogue out of hers and they both ran out of the ware house.
"Oh yeah, I forgot he could do that," Mystique said to herself. "Actually, I DID remember he could do that, I was just too busy coming up with a creative way to capture them that I didn't have enough time to think about that." Then she walked out of the warehouse and did a little dance on the way. Like those woman in the GAP commercials that annoy me so! ________________________________________________________________
Rogue and Kurt realized that the warehouse they had just escaped from had been in a city. Well, that was pretty obvious. No one would build a warehouse in the middle of the woods or some kind of field! But even thought there was many a people in the city and they could easily find help, Kurt's image inducer was still broken.
So they were hiding in an alley behind the trash cans (na na na na na na na na trash can!) and they were quite stranded.
"Go find a phone Rogue. Just leave me here, I'll be ok," said Kurt.
"But I can't leave you alone!" Rogue yelled as she pulled a banana peel out of her hair.
"Well, we can't find help with me looking like this. If only we had some kind of long coat."
And as if an answer to their prayers, Kurt spied a long trench coat lying on a cardboard box. So he put it on and pulled the hood over his head and they stepped out into the street.
It was a big city full of people and cars and hot dog vendors. They both looked around but they had no idea what city they were in.
"This does not look good for Rogue and Kurt." Kurt said from under the hood.
"Be quiet! You'll draw attention to us!" Rogue hissed, but there were people already giving them odd looks because of Kurt's new fashion statement.
"Let's just find a phone and call the Institute and then everything will be fine," she tried to reassure herself.
"Rogue look!" Kurt whispered to her.
"What?"
He raised his arm a little and pointed towards a pay phone!
"Oh happy day!" she yelled as they both ran across the street towards it.
But all of a sudden, a bus came out of nowhere and drove strait at Rogue and Kurt. They both turned around just in time to see that Mystique was driving the bus and Kurt teleported them onto the sidewalk in the knick of time!
"What the hell is wrong with her? Is she really trying to kill us?" Rogue asked, stunned.
"Screw the pay phone, we have to get out of here now! Before she comes back!!" Kurt yelled as he pulled Rogue down the street.
Since lots of people had seen Kurt teleport they were all running around shouting "Mutants!" and "RUN AWAY!" and what not, so it wasn't easy for them to get away unnoticed.
A crazy man named Frank was running around like a maniac and bumped into Kurt, causing his hood to fall down.
"AAAAHHHHHH!" screamed Frank as he saw Kurt's face.
Rogue ran up and touched Frank and Frank fell down unconscious.
They used this time to get away and teleport to the top of a building.
"What are we going to do now?" asked Rogue as she looked down at the little crazy ant people.
"Can't we telepathically contact the professor?"
Rogue smacked him upside the head and said, "You idiot! Why didn't you suggest that in the first place?!!"
"I didn't think about it, ok?"
"Ugh, let's just try it." sighed Rogue
"Are you sure?" asked Kurt.
"Yes."
"Are you positive?"
"Yes!"
"Are you positively sure?"
"YES, NOW SHUT UP OR I'LL PUSH YOU OFF THIS BUILDING!"
"eeep." said Kurt.
"That's better, now let me concentrate." said Rogue. *Professor!*
While all these misfortunes had been happening to Kurt and Rogue, the rest of the Institute was still at the mall!
"Hmmm, I can't decide which I like better, the brown socks or the white socks, the brown or the white, the brown or the white." said the Professor as he held up said brown and white socks.
Everyone else was just sitting around looking bored. They had been in all the shops twice and the Professor still couldn't decide what socks he wanted.
"Why don't you just like get them both? So we can go like home?" asked Kitty who was lying down on the floor of the store.
"What a brilliant idea! I'll. OUCH! Who's trying to talk to me? Oh it's Rogue! Say hi to Rogue everyone!"
"Hi Rogue," came the unenthusiastic reply.
*Professor, me and Kurt are stranded and we don't know where we are and Mystique is trying to kill us! You gotta help!*
*I'd love to Rogue, but right now I've got more pressing matters to attend to. Which socks do YOU like better, the brown socks OR the white socks?*
*What? You'd rather buy socks than save our lives?*
*You never answered my question!*
*Just get the white ones and come save us!*
"Well that settles it! I shall get the brown ones!" announced the Professor.
"THANK GOD!"
"Now please pay for these Logan, while I think to Rogue," he said as he handed Logan his lovely brown socks and some money.
"And as for you reject socks," said the Professor, "Scott, would you please zap these socks? They offend me so!"
"But that is wrong! We haven't paid for them!" yelled Sweater Boy.
"Fine, be a pansy! Who else has zappy powers? Tabitha! Blow up these socks for me!"
So Tabitha blew up the defenseless white socks.
"And all was right with the world!" said the Professor.
*What were you saying, Rogue?*
*Come and rescue us!*
*Oh, sure, why not? I'll send the X-Jet to get you right away!*
*But you don't know where we are*
*OH YEAH, I'll have to use Cerebro. This could take a while. Don't go anywhere!*
"Oh my god that man is insane!" screamed Rogue.
"What did he say?" asked Kurt.
"You don't want to know," said Rogue, then she thought, "Kurt, how do you wear out the heels of your socks when you are always in a WHEEL CHAIR?"
"I guess I wouldn't know! I have no wheel chair and further more, I don't wear socks!" he said as he looked down at his freakish 2 toed feet. "Come to think of it, I don't have heels either! You're asking the wrong guy!"
"Shut up.."
So they both waited on the top of the building for awhile. Luckily, there was a deck of playing cards in the old trench coat Kurt found so they occupied their time by playing rousing games of Poker and Go Fish.
It was getting dark just as the Professor contacted them again.
*Kurt!*
"What?" said Kurt looking at Rogue.
"I didn't say anything."
"Oh."
*KURT! I am your father!*
"Dad?"
*No stupid, it's the Professor!*
*OOOHHH, I get it now! Why are you thinking at me? I thought you talked to Rogue last time.*
*Indeed I did. But she was grumpy, I think it's her time of the month.*
*Is that what you wanted to tell me?*
*NO! I wanted to let you know that we are on our way to find you little ragamuffins and bring you home!*
*So where are we?*
*You're in Chicago! Isn't that just lovely?*
*Uhhh, no?*
*FINE! Be that way. Just stay where you are because we will be there soon! We have to stop and get some pizza first.*
*Can you do that after you save us? We haven't eaten in a while you know!*
*Splendid idea! Where do you get them all?*
*Ideamart?*
*Are you making fun of me?*
*NO*
*Alright then! Be there in a jiffy! Xavier out!*
"That man is clinically insane. Did you know that?" Kurt asked Rogue.
But Rogue had fallen asleep and was snoring so Kurt wacked her on her noggin and she stopped. Then she woke up.
"What?" she asked.
"The Professor is coming to get us and he said he'll be here soon."
"Oh, that's good."
"Yes, it is good."
"Good is definitely a 4 letter word."
"Yeah, you know what else is a 4 letter word?'
"What?"
"Kurt."
"That's not a word, that's your name!"
"Kurt is SO a word!"
"Oh yeah, you're right. Well, Rogue is a word too!"
"But Rogue isn't your real name."
"Bite me."
This could have gone on for several more hours but at that moment, the X- Jet landed on the roof next to them.
"WE'RE SAVED! HUZZAH!" they yelled.
The door opened and out jumped Scott, Jean, and Logan. The Professor was there too but he didn't jump out, he WHEELED out.
"Thank goodness you're okay!" yelled Jean as she hugged them both. Little did she know that her SUV, along with her countless sum of money, were now at the bottom of the Potomac River. She wouldn't be hugging them is she knew THAT now would she? She's be strangling them.
"Are you hurt? Can I carry one of you on my back?" asked Logan. He liked to carry people. It made him feel oh so manish.
"We're fine, let's just go home before Mystique shows up again!" said Rogue.
"Mystique was here? Why I outa." said Scott.
"Yes, but I do believe that you are safe now. And further more, grass is green. Now let us all get some deep dish pizza!" the Professor said as he wheeled back towards the jet. "Last one in is Mastermind!"
"Ewww!" yelled Jean as she flew into the jet. She didn't want to be Mastermind, that was just gross!
So they all walked back to the X-Jet and prepared to leave.
"I wonder what happened to Mystique," Rogue said as the jet took off.
"I guess we'll never know..." Kurt pondered.
Little did they know that clinging to the belly of the jet was none other than.. Mystique!
"Mwa ha haaa! Mwah ha haaaaa! MWA HA HAAAAAAAA!!!!" she laughed.
But just as she was catching her breath after her laughing fest, she noticed that the X-Jet was getting lower and lower over the forest.
"EEEEEEEEEEEE!" she screamed as the jet scraped against the trees and she was caught on a large Sycamore.
"Ooops. Sorry about that, gang," said the Professor as he quickly pulled the jet up and into the fluffy white clouds.
"I'll get you! You'll see! I will have my REVENGE!" Mystique yelled as the jet sped away. "You can't escape Mystique!"
She was clinging to the top of the huge tree and as she began to wave her fist, she broke the branch she was on and fell to the ground.
"Ouch." ________________________________________________________________
"Where's my SUV?" Jean asked the next day. "WHERE IS MY CAR CHILD?"
"Jean, calm down and kiss me!" said Scott as he puckered his lips.
"Not now Scott. I have a huge can of whoop ass and I'm not afraid to use it!"
"Just a little lovin! PLEASE?"
"Not NOW Scott! All of the money I've made being the little mermaid was in that car!" (Jean looks like Arielle, heh heh. Just wanted to add that in case you didn't catch on)
"Please please please please PLEASE!" Scott begged as he grabbed onto Jean's leg.
"Ugh,"
Jean walked out of the garage and into the mansion, dragging Scott with her. She then came upon Rogue and Kurt chatting idly in the kitchen.
"Has anyone seen my SUV?" she asked them.
"I haven't seen it! I don't even remember what it looks like! Do you Rogue?" Kurt asked.
"Ya know, I think I heard Evan mention something about taking the big silver car for a spin. Then he called me a dog and I hurt him. I haven't seen him since!" Rogue told her.
"EVAN, eh?" Jean said with a twitching eye, "Where is he? TELL ME!"
"I think he's in the living room," said Kurt, "or maybe he got stuck in the sofa cushions or something.."
Jean stomped into the living room while still dragging Scott, only to find said Evan lounging on the couch.
"Yo what up dawg? Raise da roof!" Evan said really, really deeply.
Jean then used her telekinesis to punt Evan out of the window and someplace far, far away.
"Let that be a lesson to all!" Jean yelled through the whole mansion, "If you mess with Jean, you WILL get your comeuppance! Come on Scott, let's go make out."
And with that, Jean dragged Scott away.
So Rogue and Kurt laughed connivingly because THEY hadn't gotten any comeuppance at all, and all was right with the world.
END ________________________________________________________________
Some fun facts about this story:
*Mystique was all of these things- a lady bug, a lady with crimped blond hair in a sparkly pink dress, a little dog, a sea gull, and little man with oily overalls.
*The coat that Kurt found was actually Gambit's coat. Gambit was in Chicago in the summer and it got hot. Not wanting to carry his bulky coat around, he ditched it in an alley. Hence the playing cards in the pocket.
*The remarks about keeping your valuables in the furnace is an inside joke between Golden-Tuna and me. So is the part about the trashcan. Don't you feel left out?
So.. Did you like it? I was surprised by how long it turned out to be. 22 PAGES OF PURE CRAP! Please review or else prepare to be poked with a long pointy stick. And remember, keep all your valuables in the furnace. MWA HA HA HAAAAAA! ZANNE loves you all!
Scrawler: Thanks for reviewing! I hope you update your fics soon! Yes. Capitalizing is good. I think I'd die if I didn't have the caps lock button on my keyboard.
Golden-Tuna: Hmmmm.. What would ZANNE do for a Klondike Bar you ask? Well, let's just say that it wouldn't be pretty.. And remember to put all your valuables in the furnace to keep them safe and don't worry, mommy killed him! (it's called an inside joke people! get used to it)
Ok, now is the part were I put the disclaimer in that I forgot to do in all the other chapters. Let's make it interesting and turn it into a song!
I don't own I don't own I don't oooowwwn X-Men Evolutiooooon! If I did If I did If I diiiiiiddd I'd be richhhhhh! Oh so do not sue the ZANNE because she doesn't ow ow own X-MEN EVOLUTIOOOONNN! Yeah
Wasn't that fun?
And do you all remember how Lance went to help Kitty fight Mags in "Ascension 2" even though he had been rude to her in "Ascension 1". Do you remember when I asked Lance what he would do for a Klondike Bar he said that he would go fight Magneto with Kitty? Well he did it! He did it for a Klondike Bar! You know it makes sense!
Anyway, this story is mainly about Kurt, Rogue, and Mystique. Did any of you notice that really evil look that Mystique got on her face after Rogue and Kurt blew her off in "Ascension 2"? I sure did! Me thinks she's a yearnin' for some REVENGE! This takes place AFTER the 4th season in case you didn't catch on yet. So here we go! ENJOY!!
________________________________________________________________
Don't tell ME to "save it", you little punks!
One fine day, a day like any other day, Rogue and Kurt were lounging around the mansion.
"Are you as bored as I am?" Rogue asked Kurt.
"I don't know. How bored are you?"
"Pretty freakin' bored," answered Rogue, "What do you think we should do?"
"Why are you asking me? If I knew I would have said it already! Like if I think we should drive down to Disney World, I would have said 'Let's drive down to Disney Word'. YESH!" said Kurt.
"THAT'S IT!" yelled Rogue so loud that Kurt fell off the chandelier.
"Ouch!" said Kurt as he rubbed his poor little head, "What's it?"
"We can go to Disney World! I've never been there before!"
"Never been to Disney World? Oh you poor deprived child! Go pack NOW!" yelled Kurt as he teleported away.
Rogue could hardly suppress her pure joy as she ran upstairs to pack her bags. She was going to Disney World! HURRAY!
So about 20 odd minutes later, Kurt and Rogue met downstairs. They both had their suitcases and were ready to go to DISNEY WORLD!
"Wait a minute." Kurt said, looking around, "Where is everybody?"
"I don't know. Do you think they're out side or something?"
"Maybe." said Kurt. So he teleported outside and saw... nothing!
"Nobody's out there!"
"Is that a problem?" asked Rogue.
Kurt thought about it for a minute. "NO!"
"Maybe they're all just out somewhere." Rouge thought. And indeed, they WERE out somewhere. The whole mansion had gone to the mall because the Professor had worn all the heels out of his socks and needed new ones. So since he had announced that he needed new socks in the middle the room where everyone except Kurt and Rogue had been standing in, they all decided to take him to the mall! What good students they are!
"So.. How the hell are we going to get to Orlando?" Rogue asked.
"We could take the X-Jet.. But then we'd get killed by Logan. We could take the X-Van.. But then we'd get killed by Logan again. We could take Jean's SUV!" suggested Kurt.
"But then won't we get killed by Jean?" said Rogue, "Not that I CARE about Jean or anything.."
"Well, Jean doesn't have metal claws now does she?" Kurt said connivingly.
"No", thought Rogue, "I guess she doesn't!"
"Then let's go!" yelled Kurt and they both ran towards the garage.
Little did they know, the lady bug on the wall had been watching them the whole time. Said lady bug had heard the whole thing and knew of their plans. So said lady bud decided to hitch a ride to Disney World..
When Kurt and Rogue reached the garage, they were pleasantly surprised that Jean had left her keys in the ignition!
"Don't you think this is a little too easy?" Rogue asked Kurt.
"Naw, Jean always leaves her keys in the car. She thinks that no one would ever even DREAM of stealing anything from her!"
"Hurumf!" said Rogue, "Stupid Jean. That's why I keep all MY valuables in the furnace!"
"You do that too? It must be that beautiful arm linking bond we have between us!"
"Just get in the car." Rogue said as she pushed Kurt into the SUV and then threw their suitcases in the back.
"Are we ready?" Kurt asked Rogue.
"Yes."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!"
"Do you have to go to the bathroom?"
"NO! Now drive damn you!"
"Fine, you don't have to be so mean to me!" Kurt said as he wiped away a tear.
So he started the car and pulled out of the garage and out of the Institute's gates.
"Is there a map in this stupid car?" asked Kurt.
"Hold on, let me check." So Rogue did indeed check and she found a map in the glove compartment.
"Here you go!" she said as she handed it to Kurt.
"Rogue, this is a map of Texas. Do you remember where Disney World is?"
"Uhhhhhh.. Florida?"
"YES! So why do we need a freakin' map of TEXAS?!!" screamed Kurt.
"Well why don't you ask stupid Jean! It's her car!"
"Oh yeah. Look for another map will you? I need to concentrate." Kurt said.
"What would you possibly need to concentrate on?"
"It's a little thing I like to call 'driving without getting killed in an accident'!"
"FINE! I'll look for your stupid map! But I'm not going to like it!" said Rogue as she opened the glove compartment again.
"Kurt?"
"Yes Rogue?"
"Why do you think they call these 'glove compartments'?"
"Hmmmm. Kurt pondered, "Maybe that's where people would keep their gloves while they were driving."
"Maybe." thought Rogue, "Wait, what was I doing again? Oh right, maps." So Rogue looked in the glove compartment again but there were no other maps!
"There aren't any more maps Kurt!" yelled Rogue, "What are we going to do now?"
"Fret not mein shwester! (I have idea if I spelled that right) For my super keen senses will lead us there!"
"What super keen senses?" asked Rogue.
"The ones that I had in the comics! Duh!"
"Okay..."
So they drove and drove and drove AND DROVE until they were both hungry and stopped at a diner somewhere in Delaware.
"Rogue, I just remembered something." Kurt said suddenly.
"What's that?"
"We have no money at all."
"Oh crap.."
"How are we going to eat and pay for gas and a motel room and pay for Disney World?" Kurt started to panic.
But just then, he looked in the back seat and saw a little drawer in the upholstery.
"What's that?" he asked.
"I don't know! Go look in it!"
"But who knows what Jean could be hiding in there?!!"
"It can't be any scarier than you. LOOK IN IT!" yelled Rogue.
"Fine! I will! Just to see the look on your face!"
So Kurt crawled into the back seat and prepared to open the mystery drawer.
"1, 2, 3.!" Kurt opened the drawer. Then he fainted.
"KURT!" screamed Rogue. So she climbed into the backseat and looked in the drawer. IT WAS FULL OF MONEY! The drawer was packed full of hundreds of dollars!
"Kurt! KURT! Wake up! Our problems are over!!!" yelled Rogue.
When nothing happened, she grabbed a wad of 20s and wacked him on the head with it.
"What? What happened?" He asked groggily.
"LOOK!" yelled Rogue, "We're rich!"
So Kurt looked into the little drawer and jumped for joy! Well, he kind of bounced for joy since it was a little cramped in the back seat.
"What do you think Jean is doing with all this money?" asked Kurt.
"Who care about stupid Jean? All that matters is we have money!"
"YEAH! So let's go eat!"
So they went into the diner and they both got lobster to celebrate their new found fortune. But since it was DINER lobster, they were sure to get sick later, but they didn't care! As long as it was only Jean's money, they would spend it on anything!
"Now all we have to do is find somewhere to spend the night!" announced Kurt after they had finished eating and gotten back into the car.
"I think I saw a billboard for someplace called the Lantern Inn a while back. We could stay there." said Rogue.
"Alright! Where is it?"
"How should I know?
"Sigh!" Kurt sighed and started to drive.
So they drove strait and after about 5 minutes they saw the Lantern Inn! YIPPEE!
"What did I tell you?" Rogue scoffed.
"Let's just see if they have a vacancy first before you get all 'I told you so' on my ass, OK?" said Kurt as they pulled into the little parking lot.
The motel had a small lobby that was empty except for a lady with crimped blond hair and a sparkly pink dress who was standing behind the counter with a creepy smile on her face.
"How may I help you?" she asked.
"Um yeah. Do you have a room available for tonight?" Kurt asked.
"Of course we do! That's why we're called the Lantern Inn!" the lady then disappeared behind the counter to presumably find the keys to a room.
"What was that supposed to mean?" whispered Rogue.
Kurt just shrugged his shoulders and then the smiley lady appeared again.
"Here you are, room number 13! Enjoy your stay!"
"Number 13?" asked Kurt as he looked at the key nervously.
"Oh yes. But don't worry, there are only 12 rooms! We decided to skip 7 because we now what an unlucky number it is!" the smiley lady said.
"And may I ask who 'we' is?" Rogue.. asked.
"'We' as in 'we' are the champions and 'we' as in we like to run motels!" she replied. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"
"No, that's ok, we're fine!" Kurt took the key, "Come on Rogue."
They then left the lobby and went outside to find room 13. Mwah ha haaa!
"Here it is," said Kurt as they found room 13 on the very end of the strip of rooms, "What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing. I just don't trust that weird lady in there. I got bad vibes from her!"
"You're way too paranoid!" Kurt laughed even though it wasn't funny as they got their luggage out of the SUV and went in to their room. There were of course 2 beds in the room. Even though it's not REALLY incest
Little did they know that the lady with the blond hair and sparkly dress was watching them out of the little lobby window the whole time. She smiled evily and began to change. Her blond crimpy hair turned bright red and her skin became blue and her eyes turned yellow. It was not a lady with blond crimped hair in a sparkly pink dress at all, it was MYSTIQUE!
"Mwa ha haaaa!" she laughed, "My evil plan is working. They will sleep peacefully tonight, but by tomorrow they will wish that were dead! They'll regret blowing me off!!!" (She's talking about what Kurt and Rogue said to her in "Ascension 2" Mystique had said "Rogue, Kurt? I just wanted to let you know that the things I did, all the things I did, were because..." but then Kurt cut her off and said "Save it Mystique!" and then Rogue said "Even you don't believe your excuses so just leave us alone!" and then they teleported away. There you go, I hope that you're not too confused.)
Just the thought of that made her bubble with anger inside.
"I'll get my revenge on those little punks! Nobody rejects Mystique, NOBODY!"
She went back behind the desk and looked down at the REAL lady with crimped blond hair and sparkly pink dress who was tied up and gagged along with the rest of the motel staff.
"And nobody is going to stop me!" she yelled as lightening flashed and thunder crashed in the back round.
"Now it is time to prepare for phase 2.."
"Excuse me? Do you have any available rooms?" Mystique turned around startled to see none other than.. Charlie Brown!
"Me and my dog need a room to stay in tonight maam," he repeated.
So Mystique punted him out the door and went back to her scheming in peace.
________________________________________________________________
Kurt and Rogue awoke bright and early the next day so they could get a head start on driving. So they left their room and got into the SUV and started to drive.
"Do you have any idea where we are going?" Rogue asked Kurt.
"I told you before! My super keen directiony sense will lead us right to Disney World!"
"Well, I think we're lost!"
"WE ARE NOT!" yelled Kurt looking all offended, "Ummmm, what state are we in again?"
"I think we're in Maryland somewhere.."
"Oh THAT was helpful!"
"Don't patronize me blue boy 'cause I'll take you out!"
"I'd like to see you try, Vampira!"
"Oh I bet you would!"
"Yeah!"
"Yeah?"
"YEAH!"
"GRRRRRR!" growled Rogue.
They both shut up and just drove in silence for about an hour.
"I'm sorry Rogue," said Kurt.
"I'm sorry too!" said Rogue, "Can I get a hug? Please?"
So Kurt let go of the wheel and hugged his sister.
"KURT, THE ROAD!" screamed Rogue.
He looked up just in time to see a little dog run out into the middle of the road!
"AAHHHHHH!" he yelled as he swerved just in time to avoid hitting it. But he swerved so much that the car went off the road and down the hill towards the river. The little dog just walked away, cackling evily.
"HOLY CRAP!" screamed Rogue as she put her hands over her eyes.
Kurt, thinking quickly, teleported them both just as the car was falling into the water. They reappeared on the edge of the cliff and just stared as Jean's precious SUV sunk like a stone.
The both just stared at it as it sank deeper and deeper and deeper until it was totally gone.
"Now what are we going to do?" yelled Rogue, "We have no money, no car, and we are stranded in Maryland!" she started to hyperventilate so Kurt pulled a brown paper bag out of his pocket and let Rogue breath into it.
While she was trying to catch her breath, Kurt looked around. They were, standing on a cliff, surrounded by nothing but trees and fields.
"This really sucks."
"Ya think??!!!" screamed Rogue, "This is all your fault you know! If you had just kept your eyes on the road.."
"You wanted a hug! I can't just deny my big sister a hug! That's just plain MEAN!"
"Well look where it got us!"
"I did look and maybe instead of shouting and yelling at each other we should try to figure out where we are!" yelled Kurt.
"Fine," said Rogue.
"Fine," said Kurt.
"Fine!"
"Fine!!!"
"FINE!"
"FINE!!!!!"
"Are you finished?" asked Kurt.
"Yes," said Rogue, "Yes I am."
"Good! First, we need to get off this cliff."
So Kurt teleported them off the cliff and back on to the side of the road.
"Do you have a cell phone?" he asked Rogue.
"No."
"What do you mean 'no'? How can you NOT have a cell phone in this day and age?!!" Kurt yelled.
"Well you don't have one either!" Rogue pointed out.
"My fingers are too big for the buttons! I don't have anyone to call anyway!"
"Ok, we'll just have to walk and find the nearest pay phone. Then we can call the Institute," Rogue said, "They must have realized that we are gone by now!"
"Maybe we should have left a note." thought Kurt.
"Come on, let's go." said Rogue.
They began to walk down the road even though they had no idea where they were going.
After they had been walking for about a half hour, a sea gull flew over them and crapped on Kurt's image inducer.
"Damn you bird!" Kurt yelled to it as it flew away laughing.
He looked down at the nasty inducer and his hologram began to flicker and eventually it died, exposing his true blue form to the world!
"JUST great!" he yelled as he threw his hands in the air, "Why does this always happen to me? WHY??!!!"
"At least there are no cars on this road to see you," said Rogue.
"You're not helping!"
So they continued walking and walking and WALKING until they finally saw a little gas station.
"Wait here," Rogue told Kurt.
"No way! What if you get into trouble?"
"I can take care of myself thank you very much!" and with that, she left Kurt hiding in the bushes and walked over to the little station.
"HELLO?" she yelled. "Is there anybody here?"
Rogue walked around the pumps and saw no one so she went into the little shop thing. There was a little man behind the counter with oily overalls on who said, "Can I help you young lady?"
"Maybe, do you have a phone I can use?" said Rogue.
"It's outside by the door," he said.
"Can I borrow a quarter?"
"Sure, but be careful with it. It's got George Washington on it!" the little man said as he handed Rogue a quarter.
"Thanks.."
Rogue walked outside to the phone and saw that Kurt was pressing himself flat against the wall next to it.
"Was there anyone in there?" he asked.
"Yeah, and he gave me a quarter too!"
"So call the Institute!"
"Oh, what number should I use?" she asked him.
"What are you talking about?"
"You know, should we use 1-800-COLLECT or 1-800-CALLATT?"
"Does it really matter?"
"YES! We already stole a car even though it was stupid Jean's, and we should at least be considerate enough not to jack up the phone bill!"
"FINE! Who's better, Carrot Top or Alf?"
"Definitely Alf!"
"Well there you go!" said Kurt like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "Dial 1-800 COLLECT!"
"You watch too much TV, Kurt." said Rogue as she dialed the number.
But as soon as she was finished punching in numbers, instead of hearing the dial tone, a cloud of sleepy gas came pouring out of the receiver.
"What the.."
But it was too late. They both fell down fast asleep. The little old man with the oily overalls came out of the shop and changed into Mystique. Bet you didn't see that one coming did you?
"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again," said Mystique, "Mwah ha haaaaa!"
So she grabbed both Rogue and Kurt's feet and began to drag them away.. ________________________________________________________________
"uuuhhhhggg." Kurt groaned, "What happened?"
When he finally regained his senses, he realized that he was hanging upside down over a huge cauldron of bubbling liquid in some kind of old warehouse. He looked to his right and saw that Rogue was also hanging, though she was still unconscious.
"Did you sleep well?" said a way too familiar voice from below.
"Who's there?" he yelled.
"What's wrong Kurt? Don't cha ya know me?"
He looked down to see that standing there with a huge crazy smile on her face was MYSTIQUE!
"Oh no, NOT YOU!" he groaned.
Just then, Rogue woke up, looked around, and screamed, "What in blue blazes is going on around here? And why am I upside down?"
"Good morning Rogue," said Mystique, "So glad you could join us."
"NNNOOOOO!!!!" Rogue screamed.
"YYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSS!!!!!" Mystique screamed back.
"Can you just stop screaming and tell us just exactly WHY we are hanging upside down?" Kurt yelled at them both.
"I thought you would never ask.." Mystique said evily. "I tried to be nice. I tried to give you the true motives behind my evil deeds and you totally BLEW ME OFF! You can't expect me NOT to get revenge now do you? I'm just that way! So when I heard of your little vacation plans, I decided to come along and do evil things to you."
"But why are we hanging over this big thing of bubbling stuff?" Rogue asked.
"Because this way I can be more evil! All evil villains hang their prey over a huge cauldron of something hot and bubbly!"
"She's got a point." said Kurt.
"What exactly are we hanging over?" Rogue asked Mystique.
"Kitty's chicken noodle soup! Mwa ha haaaaa!"
"NOOOOOO!" screamed Kurt and Rogue as they madly tried to escape their bindings.
"That's right! Squirm my children, SQUIRM!"
"Wait a minute, I can teleport!" said Kurt.
So he teleported out of his bindings and got Rogue out of hers and they both ran out of the ware house.
"Oh yeah, I forgot he could do that," Mystique said to herself. "Actually, I DID remember he could do that, I was just too busy coming up with a creative way to capture them that I didn't have enough time to think about that." Then she walked out of the warehouse and did a little dance on the way. Like those woman in the GAP commercials that annoy me so! ________________________________________________________________
Rogue and Kurt realized that the warehouse they had just escaped from had been in a city. Well, that was pretty obvious. No one would build a warehouse in the middle of the woods or some kind of field! But even thought there was many a people in the city and they could easily find help, Kurt's image inducer was still broken.
So they were hiding in an alley behind the trash cans (na na na na na na na na trash can!) and they were quite stranded.
"Go find a phone Rogue. Just leave me here, I'll be ok," said Kurt.
"But I can't leave you alone!" Rogue yelled as she pulled a banana peel out of her hair.
"Well, we can't find help with me looking like this. If only we had some kind of long coat."
And as if an answer to their prayers, Kurt spied a long trench coat lying on a cardboard box. So he put it on and pulled the hood over his head and they stepped out into the street.
It was a big city full of people and cars and hot dog vendors. They both looked around but they had no idea what city they were in.
"This does not look good for Rogue and Kurt." Kurt said from under the hood.
"Be quiet! You'll draw attention to us!" Rogue hissed, but there were people already giving them odd looks because of Kurt's new fashion statement.
"Let's just find a phone and call the Institute and then everything will be fine," she tried to reassure herself.
"Rogue look!" Kurt whispered to her.
"What?"
He raised his arm a little and pointed towards a pay phone!
"Oh happy day!" she yelled as they both ran across the street towards it.
But all of a sudden, a bus came out of nowhere and drove strait at Rogue and Kurt. They both turned around just in time to see that Mystique was driving the bus and Kurt teleported them onto the sidewalk in the knick of time!
"What the hell is wrong with her? Is she really trying to kill us?" Rogue asked, stunned.
"Screw the pay phone, we have to get out of here now! Before she comes back!!" Kurt yelled as he pulled Rogue down the street.
Since lots of people had seen Kurt teleport they were all running around shouting "Mutants!" and "RUN AWAY!" and what not, so it wasn't easy for them to get away unnoticed.
A crazy man named Frank was running around like a maniac and bumped into Kurt, causing his hood to fall down.
"AAAAHHHHHH!" screamed Frank as he saw Kurt's face.
Rogue ran up and touched Frank and Frank fell down unconscious.
They used this time to get away and teleport to the top of a building.
"What are we going to do now?" asked Rogue as she looked down at the little crazy ant people.
"Can't we telepathically contact the professor?"
Rogue smacked him upside the head and said, "You idiot! Why didn't you suggest that in the first place?!!"
"I didn't think about it, ok?"
"Ugh, let's just try it." sighed Rogue
"Are you sure?" asked Kurt.
"Yes."
"Are you positive?"
"Yes!"
"Are you positively sure?"
"YES, NOW SHUT UP OR I'LL PUSH YOU OFF THIS BUILDING!"
"eeep." said Kurt.
"That's better, now let me concentrate." said Rogue. *Professor!*
While all these misfortunes had been happening to Kurt and Rogue, the rest of the Institute was still at the mall!
"Hmmm, I can't decide which I like better, the brown socks or the white socks, the brown or the white, the brown or the white." said the Professor as he held up said brown and white socks.
Everyone else was just sitting around looking bored. They had been in all the shops twice and the Professor still couldn't decide what socks he wanted.
"Why don't you just like get them both? So we can go like home?" asked Kitty who was lying down on the floor of the store.
"What a brilliant idea! I'll. OUCH! Who's trying to talk to me? Oh it's Rogue! Say hi to Rogue everyone!"
"Hi Rogue," came the unenthusiastic reply.
*Professor, me and Kurt are stranded and we don't know where we are and Mystique is trying to kill us! You gotta help!*
*I'd love to Rogue, but right now I've got more pressing matters to attend to. Which socks do YOU like better, the brown socks OR the white socks?*
*What? You'd rather buy socks than save our lives?*
*You never answered my question!*
*Just get the white ones and come save us!*
"Well that settles it! I shall get the brown ones!" announced the Professor.
"THANK GOD!"
"Now please pay for these Logan, while I think to Rogue," he said as he handed Logan his lovely brown socks and some money.
"And as for you reject socks," said the Professor, "Scott, would you please zap these socks? They offend me so!"
"But that is wrong! We haven't paid for them!" yelled Sweater Boy.
"Fine, be a pansy! Who else has zappy powers? Tabitha! Blow up these socks for me!"
So Tabitha blew up the defenseless white socks.
"And all was right with the world!" said the Professor.
*What were you saying, Rogue?*
*Come and rescue us!*
*Oh, sure, why not? I'll send the X-Jet to get you right away!*
*But you don't know where we are*
*OH YEAH, I'll have to use Cerebro. This could take a while. Don't go anywhere!*
"Oh my god that man is insane!" screamed Rogue.
"What did he say?" asked Kurt.
"You don't want to know," said Rogue, then she thought, "Kurt, how do you wear out the heels of your socks when you are always in a WHEEL CHAIR?"
"I guess I wouldn't know! I have no wheel chair and further more, I don't wear socks!" he said as he looked down at his freakish 2 toed feet. "Come to think of it, I don't have heels either! You're asking the wrong guy!"
"Shut up.."
So they both waited on the top of the building for awhile. Luckily, there was a deck of playing cards in the old trench coat Kurt found so they occupied their time by playing rousing games of Poker and Go Fish.
It was getting dark just as the Professor contacted them again.
*Kurt!*
"What?" said Kurt looking at Rogue.
"I didn't say anything."
"Oh."
*KURT! I am your father!*
"Dad?"
*No stupid, it's the Professor!*
*OOOHHH, I get it now! Why are you thinking at me? I thought you talked to Rogue last time.*
*Indeed I did. But she was grumpy, I think it's her time of the month.*
*Is that what you wanted to tell me?*
*NO! I wanted to let you know that we are on our way to find you little ragamuffins and bring you home!*
*So where are we?*
*You're in Chicago! Isn't that just lovely?*
*Uhhh, no?*
*FINE! Be that way. Just stay where you are because we will be there soon! We have to stop and get some pizza first.*
*Can you do that after you save us? We haven't eaten in a while you know!*
*Splendid idea! Where do you get them all?*
*Ideamart?*
*Are you making fun of me?*
*NO*
*Alright then! Be there in a jiffy! Xavier out!*
"That man is clinically insane. Did you know that?" Kurt asked Rogue.
But Rogue had fallen asleep and was snoring so Kurt wacked her on her noggin and she stopped. Then she woke up.
"What?" she asked.
"The Professor is coming to get us and he said he'll be here soon."
"Oh, that's good."
"Yes, it is good."
"Good is definitely a 4 letter word."
"Yeah, you know what else is a 4 letter word?'
"What?"
"Kurt."
"That's not a word, that's your name!"
"Kurt is SO a word!"
"Oh yeah, you're right. Well, Rogue is a word too!"
"But Rogue isn't your real name."
"Bite me."
This could have gone on for several more hours but at that moment, the X- Jet landed on the roof next to them.
"WE'RE SAVED! HUZZAH!" they yelled.
The door opened and out jumped Scott, Jean, and Logan. The Professor was there too but he didn't jump out, he WHEELED out.
"Thank goodness you're okay!" yelled Jean as she hugged them both. Little did she know that her SUV, along with her countless sum of money, were now at the bottom of the Potomac River. She wouldn't be hugging them is she knew THAT now would she? She's be strangling them.
"Are you hurt? Can I carry one of you on my back?" asked Logan. He liked to carry people. It made him feel oh so manish.
"We're fine, let's just go home before Mystique shows up again!" said Rogue.
"Mystique was here? Why I outa." said Scott.
"Yes, but I do believe that you are safe now. And further more, grass is green. Now let us all get some deep dish pizza!" the Professor said as he wheeled back towards the jet. "Last one in is Mastermind!"
"Ewww!" yelled Jean as she flew into the jet. She didn't want to be Mastermind, that was just gross!
So they all walked back to the X-Jet and prepared to leave.
"I wonder what happened to Mystique," Rogue said as the jet took off.
"I guess we'll never know..." Kurt pondered.
Little did they know that clinging to the belly of the jet was none other than.. Mystique!
"Mwa ha haaa! Mwah ha haaaaa! MWA HA HAAAAAAAA!!!!" she laughed.
But just as she was catching her breath after her laughing fest, she noticed that the X-Jet was getting lower and lower over the forest.
"EEEEEEEEEEEE!" she screamed as the jet scraped against the trees and she was caught on a large Sycamore.
"Ooops. Sorry about that, gang," said the Professor as he quickly pulled the jet up and into the fluffy white clouds.
"I'll get you! You'll see! I will have my REVENGE!" Mystique yelled as the jet sped away. "You can't escape Mystique!"
She was clinging to the top of the huge tree and as she began to wave her fist, she broke the branch she was on and fell to the ground.
"Ouch." ________________________________________________________________
"Where's my SUV?" Jean asked the next day. "WHERE IS MY CAR CHILD?"
"Jean, calm down and kiss me!" said Scott as he puckered his lips.
"Not now Scott. I have a huge can of whoop ass and I'm not afraid to use it!"
"Just a little lovin! PLEASE?"
"Not NOW Scott! All of the money I've made being the little mermaid was in that car!" (Jean looks like Arielle, heh heh. Just wanted to add that in case you didn't catch on)
"Please please please please PLEASE!" Scott begged as he grabbed onto Jean's leg.
"Ugh,"
Jean walked out of the garage and into the mansion, dragging Scott with her. She then came upon Rogue and Kurt chatting idly in the kitchen.
"Has anyone seen my SUV?" she asked them.
"I haven't seen it! I don't even remember what it looks like! Do you Rogue?" Kurt asked.
"Ya know, I think I heard Evan mention something about taking the big silver car for a spin. Then he called me a dog and I hurt him. I haven't seen him since!" Rogue told her.
"EVAN, eh?" Jean said with a twitching eye, "Where is he? TELL ME!"
"I think he's in the living room," said Kurt, "or maybe he got stuck in the sofa cushions or something.."
Jean stomped into the living room while still dragging Scott, only to find said Evan lounging on the couch.
"Yo what up dawg? Raise da roof!" Evan said really, really deeply.
Jean then used her telekinesis to punt Evan out of the window and someplace far, far away.
"Let that be a lesson to all!" Jean yelled through the whole mansion, "If you mess with Jean, you WILL get your comeuppance! Come on Scott, let's go make out."
And with that, Jean dragged Scott away.
So Rogue and Kurt laughed connivingly because THEY hadn't gotten any comeuppance at all, and all was right with the world.
END ________________________________________________________________
Some fun facts about this story:
*Mystique was all of these things- a lady bug, a lady with crimped blond hair in a sparkly pink dress, a little dog, a sea gull, and little man with oily overalls.
*The coat that Kurt found was actually Gambit's coat. Gambit was in Chicago in the summer and it got hot. Not wanting to carry his bulky coat around, he ditched it in an alley. Hence the playing cards in the pocket.
*The remarks about keeping your valuables in the furnace is an inside joke between Golden-Tuna and me. So is the part about the trashcan. Don't you feel left out?
So.. Did you like it? I was surprised by how long it turned out to be. 22 PAGES OF PURE CRAP! Please review or else prepare to be poked with a long pointy stick. And remember, keep all your valuables in the furnace. MWA HA HA HAAAAAA! ZANNE loves you all!