I looked out across the dark football field. I was sitting on the damp bleachers trying to clear my mind. I had ran out of the house when my mom told me that I was going to go live with my dad. She told me that I was a bad role model for my sister Jenna. I almost cried when she told me that, I had always done my best to be there for Jenna, she is only 13.
I knew it wasn't that bad, my dad only lived about an hour away, plus it would bring me closer to Zigzag. Its just that I would miss my sister terribly. We are so close, she tells me everything.
I ran out of the house soon after that and down to the school. I needed to cool off and be by myself. But now that I was down here, I didn't think it had been such a good idea. I couldn't be trusted, not by myself.
I glanced at the pocket knife in my hand. I could dark red blood on the edge of it. I closed my eyes for a minute and glanced down at my arm. A drop of blood was rolling down my arm. I hadn't done it in so long, I forgot how good it felt.
I had started cutting myself when I started grade seven. I had stopped when I got sent to Camp Green Lake, since I couldn't get a hold of a blade. I knew what I did was wrong but it was the only thing that could help clear my mind.
I flipped the blade back into the case and stuck it in my pocket. I found a kleenex and whipped off my arm. I shivered as the nights cool air wrapped around me. I slowly got up and climbed down from the bleachers. I stuck my hands in my pockets and began slowly walking home.
"Jada?" I heard a voice say behind me.
I turned to see Ashton, my ex-boyfriend behind me. I gave him a cold glare before turning back around and continueing my walk. I had broke up with him a few weeks before I went to Camp Green Lake. He started getting too rough with me for my liking. He just didn't get the meaning of the word 'no'.
"Come on baby, I said I was sorry." Ashton told me quickening his pace to catch up with me.
"I thought that breaking two of your fingers would get the message through your thick head." I told him when he was matching my stride "I guess your head is thicker then I though. Next time I will have to break a few more fingers then."
"Don't get sarcastic with me." Ashton told me blocking my path.
I went to step around him but he blocked my path again. I went to walk around again but he grabbed my arm.
"Your doing it again aren't you." He said when he saw new blood coming from the cut on my arm.
"What I do is none of your buisness, we are not going out and never will again." I said firmly.
"Your weak, you know that, that's why you cut yourself." Ashton said quietly "You know you need me."
"No Ashton, I needed you, not anymore." I told him looking into his cold blue eyes.
"Well I need you." Ashton said leaning in closer.
I didn't want to give him a chance to try anything. I threw all of my weight into slugging him in the face. The blow knocked him down and I took the chance to stalk away. I trudged the rest of the way home.
I knew that I needed to break out of the darkness. Not just the darkness of the night, the darkness that was in my mind. It was starting to close in around me. I have been fighting it for too long, I wasn't strong enough, I was going to break.
I knew it wasn't that bad, my dad only lived about an hour away, plus it would bring me closer to Zigzag. Its just that I would miss my sister terribly. We are so close, she tells me everything.
I ran out of the house soon after that and down to the school. I needed to cool off and be by myself. But now that I was down here, I didn't think it had been such a good idea. I couldn't be trusted, not by myself.
I glanced at the pocket knife in my hand. I could dark red blood on the edge of it. I closed my eyes for a minute and glanced down at my arm. A drop of blood was rolling down my arm. I hadn't done it in so long, I forgot how good it felt.
I had started cutting myself when I started grade seven. I had stopped when I got sent to Camp Green Lake, since I couldn't get a hold of a blade. I knew what I did was wrong but it was the only thing that could help clear my mind.
I flipped the blade back into the case and stuck it in my pocket. I found a kleenex and whipped off my arm. I shivered as the nights cool air wrapped around me. I slowly got up and climbed down from the bleachers. I stuck my hands in my pockets and began slowly walking home.
"Jada?" I heard a voice say behind me.
I turned to see Ashton, my ex-boyfriend behind me. I gave him a cold glare before turning back around and continueing my walk. I had broke up with him a few weeks before I went to Camp Green Lake. He started getting too rough with me for my liking. He just didn't get the meaning of the word 'no'.
"Come on baby, I said I was sorry." Ashton told me quickening his pace to catch up with me.
"I thought that breaking two of your fingers would get the message through your thick head." I told him when he was matching my stride "I guess your head is thicker then I though. Next time I will have to break a few more fingers then."
"Don't get sarcastic with me." Ashton told me blocking my path.
I went to step around him but he blocked my path again. I went to walk around again but he grabbed my arm.
"Your doing it again aren't you." He said when he saw new blood coming from the cut on my arm.
"What I do is none of your buisness, we are not going out and never will again." I said firmly.
"Your weak, you know that, that's why you cut yourself." Ashton said quietly "You know you need me."
"No Ashton, I needed you, not anymore." I told him looking into his cold blue eyes.
"Well I need you." Ashton said leaning in closer.
I didn't want to give him a chance to try anything. I threw all of my weight into slugging him in the face. The blow knocked him down and I took the chance to stalk away. I trudged the rest of the way home.
I knew that I needed to break out of the darkness. Not just the darkness of the night, the darkness that was in my mind. It was starting to close in around me. I have been fighting it for too long, I wasn't strong enough, I was going to break.